"Dysfunctional Family Feud"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.

Chapter 1

This was hell. This wasn't any ordinary hell. But this was straight-up burnt like a pig hell. That is, if you're a male model adored by millions of fans and you have nothing with you but only your looks happen to be a very good example of what kind of hell he was now feeling right about now. That is the kind of hell that was named Justin. And at the Playa De Losers garage, something wrong was happening to his car.

"My car!" Justin exclaimed as he reacted like a bitchy diva, "What on earth did you do to my car?"

The guy who Justin was speaking to just happened to be his fat friend Owen.

"It was just an accident! I'm sorry!" Owen exclaimed, just reacting a bit weakly. Justin wasn't taking this kind of incident very well.

"An accident? H-how can this look like an accident when someone put a hole in my windshield? It's kinda like an elephant farted and blew glass all over the seats!" Justin replied as he looked right at the big gaping hole right through his windshield. Now his entire leather seats were now covered with shattered glass. "What in the heck even happened anyway?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that me, Duncan, D.J. and Geoff were playing football and somehow, I tried to catch it and somehow, it ended up crashing your windshield! You have to understand, it was only an accident!" Owen exclaimed a little bit scared-like.

"This doesn't even look like an accident to me! I need this windshield to get a good look at my beautiful image! Now I got no choice but to ride in my car with not a glance at my beautiful image smiling at me everywhere I go!" Justin reacted once again.

"Well, sure you can! You still have your car windows!" Owen exclaimed feeling a little relief from all this, but Justin was still losing it.

"Yes, Owen... I still have my car windows..." Justin said with a deep breath and then reacted again, "But what good is this gonna do without having every image of me just driving my car from the inside? I need every mirror and window just facing me! I don't want my looks to fade while I drive with no reason to look good! I don't to be like a dried baked potato roasting on a old man's chest!"

"But the good news is, at least your insurance will cover the damages, so I guess that you're in the clear, buddy!" Owen said to Justin as he patted the model right on the shoulder, but Justin turned right to anger.

"There's only one problem, Owen..." Justin said with his teeth gritting.

"Why's that, buddy?" Owen replied with a little smile.

"I don't frickin' have car insurance!" Justin exclaimed out of madness.

"Ouch, sorry to do that to you..." Owen replied, rubbing the back of his head in shame, "I promise, I'll make it up to you! I can get you whatever you want! I'll buy you ice cream, maybe a nice comic book to read, or perhaps even a nice comfortable massage that can soothe every ounce of your body!"

Justin somehow glared at him angrily for that massage part.

"Sorry, that came a little confusing to me..." Owen responded with an embarrassed tone.

"You know what? Don't even bother!" Justin snapped at Owen intentionally, "In fact, just never speak to me again..."

With that, Justin walked out of the garage, looking very steamed because of this situation between Justin and the broken windshield.

However, as he was opening the door with such force, Justin stood face-to-face with Heather.

"Hey, watch in the heck where you're going! What's your problem?" Heather shouted out to Justin, who still wasn't his narcissistic mood today.

"Try telling that to Owen..." Justin muttered grumpily to her as he proceeded on to his bedroom. Meanwhile, Heather glared right at Owen.

"What in the hell is his problem?" Heather spoke to the fatboy.

"He's angry at me because I accidentally smashed his windshield to his car with a football." Owen replied as he just felt sorry for himself.

"Well, it's his own fault. What a primadonna that guy is!" Heather said as she gestured to Justin far away.

"I know, but the problem is... he doesn't have any car insurance!" Owen exclaimed to Heather as he let out a shiver. "I got nothing to blame for myself!"

"I don't really feel you Owen, and so far, I don't really care..." Heather said with a crossing of the arms.

"I feel like I should really do something to win my respect back for him!" Owen responded with an alarming rate.

"Well, whatever you think of, just don't do it near me and anywhere towards me." Heather said as she shook her head in a negative way.

"I know. I'm gonna bake him a nice good cake and you're gonna help me!" Owen exclaimed as he pointed right to the Queen Bee.

"Uh, no... there's no way I'm gonna help you bake Justin a cake, because I know the first thing you're gonna plan to do is to just eat it up before we ever give it to him. I pass." Heather said as she started to walk away from the garage, but somehow, Owen grabbed her in the arm.

"I promise that won't happen. What does Justin prefer? Strawberry, Chocolate, Butterscotch?" Owen said as he was trying to give out Heather some suggestions.

"I said I don't want to help you, Owen!" Heather exclaimed angrily before the fatboy just ignored her on the spot.

"Chocolate it is! Let's go, Heather. We got baking to commence!" Owen said as he ran past her on his way to the kitchen. Heather tried to speak at the last moment, but it was just useless.

"I swear if that's a fart joke, I'm gonna kill myself!" Heather exclaimed to Owen far away, who probably didn't listen to what Owen had to say. But she just gave up and followed Owen's way to the kitchen, "No one ever frickin' listens to me..."

The fun will commence on Chapter 2 next chapter. Sorry, if this fic looks random, but I hope it gets a kick out of you fans of Total Drama and Family Feud.

Until then, read, review and salud!

*Toasts glass in the air and drinks it*