"Dysfunctional Family Feud"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.


Chapter 6

"Agh... my eyes! Why in the heck did it have to happen to my precious eyes?" Justin cried out in pain as he was holding a wet towel to his eyes after the hot air sorta steamed out his vision a bit while he was resting in bed.

Who knew approaching an angry Courtney with a hairdryer proved to be a huge mistake for Justin. His eyes nearly came close to being bloodshot. Heck, the blood might have came very close to appear among the skin, but Justin was lucky to having an ounce of blood splurt among his eyes.

"The guys at my modeling agency isn't gonna like this at all..." Justin muttered lowly as he looked a little weary. He continued holding the towel to his eyes when Heather suddenly barged in.

"Justin, how many times do I have to frickin' tell you? If you're gonna clean up after yourselves, you better learn how to clean up the mousse from those hot-and-cold handles!" Heather exclaimed a bit angrily to be exact. "I swear I can feel an ounce of your cream going right up my hands, and I can only tell you that it's disgusting for me!"

"Sorry Heather, what can I tell you? I can only focus on myself to care about other problems that involve my mousse." Justin replied as he managed to look right at Heather with an eye, despite his almost blurred vision.

"Well, I suggest you do a little less looking and a little more doing. So I would be appreciated if you can clean up at the bathroom. There's no way my hands are gonna be infested by soft foam!" Heather exclaimed in frustration.

Knowing that she didn't wanna hear her bitchiness any further, Justin managed to get up out of bed and threw away the towel, only managing to get his vision back a little bit.

"Fine..." Justin muttered as he soon left his room with Heather just following him with the towel that Justin was holding out his eyes to in pain.

"I want you to take the towel and rub off those mousse scrapings off those handles." Heather replied a bit angrily as she gave Justin the towel. "And I want you to do a good job too. I don't wanna have to come in and see more of your foamy crap floating around here."

"As long as your shouting doesn't hurt my ears. My perfect body's already taken a lot of verbal abuse lately..." Justin said with a rolling of his eyes as he started to take the towel and surge into hot water.

"That's all I ask for." Heather replied as she left the other bathroom, which left Justin to clean up the entire mousse.

But knowing that this was a waste of time, Justin decided he didn't want to do it so he just threw away the towel. But somehow, his idea just came to him once again. He still hasn't forgot that he needed a family to recruit just to get in Family Feud and win the prize money for his broken $15,000 windshield. That was his entire plan all along. So far, he had himself, Eva, LeShawna and Owen, but he needed one more. Maybe someone to play her wife.

Justin wanted to ask Courtney but he wouldn't wanna risk having his eyesight just damaged once again. He would have asked Gwen to be his wife, but she wouldn't be interested in a game show that seemed too much family friendly to her. Justin wouldn't even think of having Izzy as his wife, considering that she's hyped-up crazy all the time, so it wouldn't be worth it. Justin would have thought of choosing Bridgette, but she would spend too much of her time just playing 'suckface' with her boyfriend Geoff. And he wouldn't even think of having Sierra as his wife for the Family Feud, considering that she was waaaaay too crazier and psychotic than Izzy was. He had no choice about this.

He just had to go talk to Heather. So as she was about to head straight outside, Justin ran downstairs and stopped her at the right time.

"Heather wait. I need to talk to you." Justin replied.

"Well, that was fast. Did you do what I said?" Heather spoke to him once more as she raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah whatever, look I really need to ask you a favor." Justin nodded as he was about to explain.

"If you gonna brag to me about your precious hair or your shiny teeth, I'll make my eardrums bleed." Heather said in such a foul-less tone.

"Heather, I would likely talk about that, but it's not it. Look, it's just a favor." Justin replied with a deep breath, "Well, it's not really much more of a favor, but an offer of some sorts."

When Heather heard him say the word 'offer', she felt a little interested.

"I'm listening. It better be good." Heather replied as she crossed her arms.

"It is. Now, just in case you didn't know, I really got a broken $15,000 windshield, and I've been wanting to go on to Family Feud to get that $20,000 prize money." Justin explained a bit, "Now, so far... Owen's in, Eva's in, LeShawna's in, and I'm asking if you wanna take part in my made-up family. There's no twist and no joke included. What do you say?"

Hearing Justin's entire plan, Heather thought about this very well.

"That depends, what do I have to do?" Heather replied with a questioned shrug.

"My mind didn't wanna do this, but..." Justin replied to himself with another deep breath and then looked right at Heather, "Will you be my wife on that show?"

"Screw that!" Heather exclaimed as he blew his offer straight outta the water, but Justin persuaded her.

"No, Heather wait! I really need this! My precious body needs this! I don't have anything to go! I have no car insurance, my charm won't work on the ladies anymore, and I'm just a mere shell of myself ever since the entire series was over and done with! I need this opportunity, Heather!" Justin exclaimed as he was just begging for her to change her mind, "I'm just dying to get that money! This is my last chance to prove to myself that I can do things for a chance without damaging my good features! Please, I don't have a choice!"

"Good god Justin, grow up!" Heather exclaimed as she was growing frustrated of Justin's kid-like behavior, "You sound like a frickin' 9-year old girl trapped in a male model's body!"

"I'm sorry..." Justin said in such an embarrassed tone. "Look, if you can enter with me on the show, I promise I'll be your slave for a month. Heck, I'll even do your pedicures, manicures, anything you want! And you can have what's left of the prize money! Because you see, I still need $15,000 to pay off my most expensive windshield."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I get it. Owen already talked about it to me." Heather said as she shook it off, knowing that she had enough of Justin's pleading, the Queen Bee decided to change her mind instantly, "Look, if this means so much more to you... I'll accept being your wife for Family Feud."

"Really? Oh, thanks Heather! Even if we never see eye-to-eye with somebody! I knew I still trust in you!" Justin exclaimed more as he started to hug Heather, little does she know herself that she was startled.

"But let me clear something here..." Heather said as she broke off the hug for a bit, "Just because we're gonna be husband and wife, that doesn't mean you can just go around spreading rumors of us dating, it isn't gonna be like that. And if you even think of kissing me before, during and after the show right on the lips, the only thing you're gonna be kissing Justin, is gonna be your ass."

"Oh, I promise I won't do any of those things, Heather. You got my word!" Justin exclaimed once again.

"Fine. Now leave me the heck alone and stay out of my business..." Heather muttered out as she finally entered outside.

"YES!" Justin shouted in his mind happily as he was ecstatic that he finally rounded up a good family to recruit. It was now Owen, Eva, LeShawna, himself, and now Heather. This may actually work to his advantage. In his own reality, he kept celebrating like he won the World Series, "$20,000, here I come!"

Unfortunately, his mini-celebration was cut short when his toe got stubbed in a chair. Pretty unlucky for him indeed.

"Ow ow ow, stubbed toe!" Justin exclaimed as he was just hopping around in pain, just holding his stubbed toe. He then spoke to the heavens above, "Why did it have to happen to my excellent feet! Why must you be so harsh to me!?"

Despite being in pain, Justin was still relieved that he finally got himself a family, the only problem for him was...

...it wasn't gonna be easy.


Well, looks like Justin's got himself an entire family. What's gonna happen next chapter? Will his entire made-up family actually get along until they at least get on the show? Find out after you read, review and get stoned. SHA-BAZINGA!