"Come now, darling, I thought this would be right up your alley." The leggy burnet pouted taking his chin between her fingers while her other hand trailed down his chest.

"True love always is, dearie, it's the price that's negotiable." Rumplestilskin smirked hands settling on her waist. Rubbing circles in the silk fabric that bunched there.

"You don't think she can do it?" she questioned arching a brow.

"Oh, I know she can do it. The question is, do you want her to?" He released her and walked over to gaze out the tower window and watch the sun set over the breaking waves. "You have much to gain if she fails."

The sea witch approached the small man from behind wrapping her arms around him, settling her chin on his shoulder. "Now, my sweet Rumple, do you take me for the type of girl to ruin true love?" Her lips pressed a kiss to the inside of his neck. "Why would I do such a thing?"

"Because you're like me." His mouth twisted into a toothy grin and he turned in her arms. "Because you crave power," the words rolled off his tongue and his face inched closer to hers.

"So you'll help me?" She nudged her nose against his, their lips brushing gently.

"Aye, but don't come crawling back to me when things don't go your way, Ursula."

She smirked, "Oh, I never crawl, darling. I command." And with that she forced her lips upon his, gently nipping his bottom lip before pulling away and turning to leave.

"I do believe you're forgetting something," he quipped, his hand quickly grasping her wrist.

Her lip twitched and she hesitantly reached into the folds of her gown and produced a small vial filled with black fluid. "Don't waste it, Rumple. Such a precious thing isn't easily replaced," she teased with a wink.

"It is when you know where to find it. And how to bait your hook."

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A/N: I'm 10000% Rumbelle btw, this crack just had to come out and made me laugh. For what it's worth I hope you did as well. Or if I disturbed you then YAY ME! I never ask for no hate. But seeing as this is purely for the sake of a crack ship...well you get the idea. But if you're as perverse as the rest of us on tumblr than by all means fill that box!