Summary: John had always tried to be careful not to raise too much attention to the fact that Sam and Dean were left alone for long periods of time. John had always tried to tell his sons never write anything down that would attract unwanted attention. Sometimes it's better to listen to your father.

Special thanks to: AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. It belongs to Eric Kripke. (Although I wish I did)

Present Time (Prologue)

Sam is sitting alone in the "Men of Letters" library that Dean nicknamed the Batcave writing notes on the red ledger they recieved from the Judah Initiative. Dean walks in the library.

"What are you doing?" Dean asks. Sam slams the ledger close and looks up at Dean.

"Nothing," Sam says, a little startled.

"Seriously, what are you doing?" Dean asks again, walking over to Sam and grabbing the paper he was writing on.

"Dean," Sam complains, trying to make a grab for the paper, but Dean holds it out of his reach.

"Wait a minute," Dean tries to calm his brother. Why is this stupid note so important to him away? It only makes Dean all the more curious to know what Sam's up to.

"Give it back," His younger brother demands irritably.

"In a minute. What is this?" Dean assures his sibling and relaxes once he sees Sam begin to relent.

Sam gives up trying to get the paper back and looks down at the table. Dean opens up the ledger and sees what Sam was copying.

"What is this?" Dean asked again.

"I was just cataloging the Thule Society from the log. It's nothing," Sam waves Dean's insistent question away dismissively.

"Oh okay," Dean shrugs and hands the paper back to Sam and walks over to the mini fridge that was behind him.

"You've got nothing? Just 'oh okay'?" Sam asks his brother incredulously, "I thought you'd be upset."

"Upset? Why would I be upset? You writing all that crap down it means I don't have to." Dean says, sitting down at the table opposite his brother, "What's gotten into you?"

"It's was my fault and I didn't want any more problems," Sam explains, sounding guilty and sheepish for no apparent reason that Dean can figure out.

Dean's eyebrows furrow in puzzlement. What was Sam talking about?

"You remember," Sam prompts reluctantly and looks down at the red ledger sitting on the tabletop.

"No, Sammy, I don't." Dean can't figure out what's suddenly bothering his brother so much but he knows that whatever it is, he needs to find out now because he hates that self-incriminating look on Sam's face.

"When they took me," Sam says quietly, sadly and Dean's heart drops down to the level of his stomach as he realizes what his brother is so worried about.

"Oh Sammy," Dean closes his eyes and lowers his head as the memories crash over him like a tsunami, drowning out everything but that horrible time when Sam was gone.

"See. You do remember."