"Hold, hold me for a while, I know this won't last forever. So hold, hold me tonight before the morning takes you away"
Sitting in her bed at night listening to this song again and again, she did not care how many times the song repeating itself. Starring at the side of their bed, her wife had been always occupying, she could not control herself anymore. Maura let the tears flow freely.
"What's that sparkle in your eyes? Is it tears that I see? Oh tomorrow you're gone. So tomorrow I'm alone."
She was alone. Jane's gone.
She had not eaten since the morning, since she heard about Jane's kissing another woman. She didn't want to leave her bed, spending the whole day crying over what happened earlier that day. How could Jane do this to her? After years of friendship, two years of marriage and their first baby's on the way, how could she do this to her?
Why did Jane sleep with another woman? Is it because I'm pregnant and couldn't make her happy sexually for the last few weeks? Maura's mind was wondering about that. She let out a cry over the pain she was feeling emotionally. "How can you do this to me Jane? I've always loved you so much. I thought you are the only person that never ever is going to betray the love I have for you. How could you touch another person if I'm still in your heart? Am I even in your heart Jane?" She didn't care about the fact that no one's there to hear what she's saying or asking.
Slowing bringing her hand to caress her big belly, Maura talked to the baby "Your mama loves me, right? I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't have asked her to leave. But she left. She didn't deny it. Oh God!" she cried again.
The other side of the town, Jane's sitting at dirty robber, solving her personal problems by consuming excessive amount of alcohol. That's what she knew to do to run away from the mess she made. Raising her head from the table, she saw Frost and Korsak walking towards her.
"You look like shit, Janie. What's up with you today?" Korsak raised his voice at Jane.
"Yeah old man." Giving an appreciative look towards Korsak, Frost spoke, "What happened to you Jane? You've been acting weird from this morning and now, you are here alone drinking beers like you don't give a damn about anyone in this world. Where's Dr. Isles?" He concerned about Jane's pregnant wife.
Of course everyone loved Maura. She was one of the coolest persons among the colleagues in BPD.
Jane buried her face in her own hands. Either Korsak or Frost didn't know what to expect from the brunette.
Finally, Jane looked at them "I've fucked up everything. I'm a loser, guys. That's it. I'm a fucking asshole who messed up a beautiful life with a wonderful woman in this world."
"What are you saying? What did you do?" Korsak asked.
"I cheated on Maura." That was all Jane could say before she choked up at her own words and cried.
"What? When? Why did you do this to Maura?" Frost was getting angry. "Come on Jane. Maura is the perfect woman I've ever met. She loves you. She makes you happy. For God's sake she's carrying your child, Jane. What kind of bullshit is this? Oh man." He was frustrated.
"I love her, Frost. I love her with my heart. She is the only woman in my life. I can't bear the thought of losing her. No! I can't live without her." Jane was pleading with her eyes.
Korsak silently asked "Then why the fuck did you do it?" he didn't raise his voice this time. He knew even though Jane made a mistake, she's broken too.
"I don't know Korsak. I was drunk. Maura was at her parents' house last week. I was fucking drinking at the bar and then a chick came to me. I don't even know her name, Korsak. I didn't do it on purpose. I've never thought about cheating on Maura. NEVER EVER" Jane tried to be innocent.
"So how did Maura find out?" Frost asked.
"The girl I was with, she snapped a picture of her kissing me while I was sleeping, naked with her from my phone." She continued "I didn't notice until this morning, until Maura was checking my phone for the pictures we've taken during the Christmas."
"Oh boy, I don't know what to say Janie. You really fucked up this time." Korsak said and ordered a drink for him.
"Where is Dr. Isles now?" Frost was asking.
"At home. When she found out about it, she asked me to leave and I did. She didn't want to talk to me. How could she? After what I've done to her I don't know if she will ever forgive me. I am an asshole" her voice was raspier than usual because of the alcohol and the sadness.
At Maura's house, the clock on the night stand was showing 10.30 p.m. Maura was still in bed. She didn't want to share her pain with anyone. Even with Angela, her mother in law. She wasn't ready to face anyone until she heard a sound of someone opening her front door.
"Maura" Angela called. "Are you still up?" she knocked on the door of Maura's bedroom.
Maura didn't know how to ignore her. After all Angela loved Maura like her own daughter.
"Yes, give me a minute, Angela" she tried to gather herself back.
"Are you alright dear? It seems like you didn't come out of the room at all. I didn't see you at all today. Is there something wrong?"
With the last question from Angela, Maura started to cry again. She dragged herself out of the bed and opened the door. Once she saw Ma Rizzoli , she buried her face in her hands and tried to hold the tears falling from her eyes.
"Oh dear! What happened? Why are you crying? Are you in pain? What happened Maura? Where is Jane?" Angela tried to calm the crying blonde.
Maura did not answer to any of the questions that Angela asked.
Suddenly, everything went black and Maura was on the floor.