April O'Neil was working at her desk in the middle of the busy Channel Six news room, when her frumpy friend and co-worker Irma approached.

"I hate men," said Irma.

"Irma, I'd love to hear all about it, but I'm kind of swamped at the moment," April said without bothering to look up from her keyboard.

"I've spent the better part of the week sending out signals to that hot temp Antonio, and not so much as an ass grab in the Xerox room," said Irma. "What's wrong with men these days? I swear, those hoes who cry sexual harassment have ruined workplace nookie for the rest of us. I don't even know why I show up here anymore."

I'm not sure either, thought April. "Irma, please."

"I guess I could always go fuck, but you know me April," continued Irma. "I love it up inside me. Heck, I don't even consider blow jobs as sex. Mom was the same way..."


"She had this saying..."

"Irma!" said April between gritted teeth. "You have to stop with this, or at least continue it somewhere else . You're not the only one who gets an itch at work -hell, there are times I swear I'm going to soak through my yellow jumpsuit - but some of us exercise professionalism. Now would you please let me get back to work?"

"My, my," said Vernon Fenwick in his sneering effeminate voice. "Are you two hens clucking it up on the company dime yet again? I've always maintained women have no place in serious journalism."

"The Queen of the West Village wants to talk about serious journalism?" said April. "Please. Your expertise is fluff pieces and we both know it."

"I'd hardly call my coverage of that prison riot a fluff piece," said Vernon.

"You broadcasted live from the middle of a prison house gang-bang." said April. "The station was fined through ass over that fiasco."

"I was hardly to blame for that," said Vernon. "My bitch pink shirt is like a target, and I have the kind of asshole that you just have to tell your friends about. And I was at shank-point, let's not forget."

April and Irma looked at him incredulously.

"Alright," said Vernon. "It's still my go to fantasy while beating my dick, but that's just between us girls."

"A dozen bitch-starved, sociopathic prisoners fawning over you," said Irma. "I should be so lucky."

"Irma, you don't mean that," said April.

"The hell I don't Ms. Frosty Cooze," the Irma. "Maybe you can survive on your career alone, but I'm an old fashioned girl. For the most part anyway. I doubt June Cleaver ever fucked on meth."

"Oh my god," said Vernon. "Isn't it fantastic?"

"Irma, if you're insinuating I don't get it regular, you're mistaken," said April. "They didn't call me Roundheels O'Neil in university for nothing."

"Yeah, April," said Irma. "In university. How long ago was that?"

"That's it," said April. "Career be damned. We're going on a little field trip and I'll show you two a thing or two about being a cock hungry slut ."

"Bring it, bitch," said Irma. "I've been diagnosed as an actual nymphomaniac and Vernon is an average gay man. You're way out of your league, baby talk."

"Hey, do I look scared?" said April. I certainly should be, she thought. But not because of these two idiots.


Rocksteady and Bebop sat watching tv in the old abandoned cat food factory by the docks.

Their boss, the evil Shredder, had sent them to earth from Dimension X with orders to lay low. He was hatching an evil scheme and needed the hench-mutants ready to carry out his demands at a moments notice.

But it was essential the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles not learn of their whereabouts too soon.

The mutant rhino and wart-hog were nothing if not idiotic and Shredder feared they could be followed back to the hideout by the turtles. So he forbid them to leave.

"Geez boss," Rocksteady had whined. "We's finally get to go back to Earth and can't even chase sluts? Dimension X girls have too many teeth."

"Duh, yeah" said Bebop. "We've been jerking off since we got here. I have blisters."

"We want bitchs, we want bitchs, we want bitchs," both mutants began to chant.

"Silence, you fools," Shredder commanded. "My plans are too close to fruition to risk you attracting the attention of those wretched turtles."

"Oohhhh, no fair," said Rocksteady.

"I'm gonna pound those cock-blocking turtles," said Bebop.

Shredder, in what was more a strategic move than a charitable one, had sent the mutants to Earth with a large cache of pornography to keep them occupied.

Bebop unzipped his black leather pants and pulled out his thick, 14 inch uncut wart-hog cock. Streams of pre-cum dripped from the tip and down the shaft. "Hey, Rocksteady," said Bebop. "I bet I can ejacamulate before you."

"Duh, wanna bet?" said Rocksteady. "Hey, what does ejacamulate mean?"

Bebop snorted. "It means to cum, stupid."

"Oh," said Rocksteady. "Classy." With that, he tore his equally impressive leathery grey dick from his camouflage pants and began to beating it with one hand while playing with his tennis ball sized testicles with the other. He slowly traced that hand down his taint to the rough skin of his rhino asshole. As he gently probed it with the first finger, he closed his eyes and reclined his head back. The infant sensation of ecstacy surged through his crotch and up his spine.

He considered, not for the first time, asking Bebop to fuck him in the ass. The physical sensation of the hogs dick up his ass could be nut-busting beyond his filthiest fantasies.

Just then, they heard the sound of the door behind them opening. Both mutants jumped up and turned to look, dicks still in hand.

Three people stood in the doorway and they recognized one of them as the turtles' friend April O'Neil. April made a display of checking out their dicks and nodded approvingly.

"You boys must have known we were coming," she said. Irma and Vernon stood on either side of her, seemingly too terrified to move.

"Uh oh," said Bebop. "Mister Shredder isn't going to be happy."

"Doh, how'd you find us?" said Rocksteady. "We didn't leave here or nothin' not even once, especially not to get Chinese takeout last night around 8 P.M."

"I have contacts all over this city," said April. "Maybe we can come to some sort of agreement, and Shredder -or the turtles- never have to know we were here."

"Or we could bash your freakin skulls in," said Bebop. "How's that for an agreement?"

April unzipped the front of her yellow jumpsuit and walked towards the mutants. She wore nothing underneath, and upon stepping out of the garment was fully on display to the two horny mutants.

The three of them approached each other and April's pussy became instantly wet as the hot, slightly rank animal smell of Rocksteady and Bebop's mutanthood and pre-cum emanated up to her nostrils.

Rocksteady clutched her left breast and the feel of his course hand running over her nipple went right to her cunt. Bebop groped her entire crotch in one huge mutant hand, and inserted three fingers in April's moist hole.

April took a dick in each hand, just barely able to grip their full girth and began to furiously beat them off. At first Rocksteady's dick felt like sandpaper, but as he proceeded to drip copious amounts of pre-cum, it was as if April had started with a palmful of lube.

Suddenly hungry for cum, she directed Rocksteady to the beaten up sofa and had him bend over the back, with his ass raised in the air.

His ass was like two boulders wrapped in leather and with a thin coat of bristly hair. Encasing her mouth and nose in his *** crack, the slightly foul smell was intoxicating. She worked her tongue inside his asshole and the mutant groaned with pleasure.

As she tossed his salad, Bebop stood behind her working all his digits into her vagina. She removed her head from Rocksteady's ass for just a moment, turned to Bebop and moaned "put your cock in me."

Bebop removed his hand from her, repositioned himself slowly worked his huge dick up her tight pussy.

April came for the first time before Bebop was even a quarter of the way inside of her.

She cried out, whether in pain or pleasure, Bebop didn't care. In a quick motion, he drove the rest of his cock inside of her. April felt his hairy, heavy balls thwack against her with everyone of his thrusts.

Rocksteady turned around, and lowered April's head onto his dick.

As all this was happening, Shredder advanced behind Irma and Vernon with ninja stealth, grabbed both their heads and quickly slammed them together. The two fell to the floor unconscious.

He abandoned any attempt at stealth as he approached the blissed out suck and fuck. The participants were oblivious to their surroundings.

"Well, well, well," he said. "What have we here?"

April tried to turn her head from Rocksteady's cock, but he was about to cum, and held it there. The orgasm built up between his asshole and massive balls and then surged through his entire crotch and released in a geiser of mutant spunk. April began to choke and finally wrestled her head off Rocksteady's dong. She swallowed what she could, but had to spit out a great deal of his tasty cum.

By this time Bebop was also ready to blow. He gripped her hips and pulled her body towards him as he forced against her from within with his dick. He tossed his head back as he shot, flooding her insides with semen.

"Ugh, hiya boss," said Rocksteady feebly.


In their sewer hideout, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles relaxing after a hard day of maintaining their ninja skills through vigorous training exercises.

Donatello had found a way to pirate cable, and the turtles were enjoying the latest episode of Dirty Panty Party, their favorite program.

Master Splinter usually disapproved of pornography, claiming it was poisonous to the spirit, but had a weakness for Japanese school girls fucking in their undies.

There was a beeping noise. It was Leonardo's turtle communicator.

"That's April's ring," he said as he took the device from his belt on clicked it open.

April's face dominated the view screen, but there was something weird about her expression.


"Ohhhhh yeah. Yeah, ohh yeah, right there, fuck me, fuck me," said

Her face began to recede as the camera on her turtle com was pulled back. And on Leo's screen, the full disturbing picture came into view.

Shredder, nude except for his metal helmet and cape was fucking April doggy style. And she seemed to be enjoying it.

With what appeared to be some concentration, he shifted his attention from the fucking to address the turtles.

"Greetings ahh, turtles," said Shredder. "Oh fuck yeah, you're tight...As you can see...damn...I have your friend April O'Neil. She's...ooohhhhh...my sex slave. Save her if you dare. And if you can. Hahahahhaha."

"Don't bother," said April, sounding a million miles away. "It's a...oh yeah...trap."

The transmission suddenly ended and Leonardo's screen went blank.

"That creep," said Raphael. "We've got to save April."

"I don't know, dude," said Michelangelo. "We're always rescuing her and it's not like she ever puts out for us."

"It's possible Shredder has her drugged and she's not acting of her own free will," said Donatello.

"We can figure it later," said Leonardo. "Right now we just have to get her out of there. We can use the tracer in her turtle com to track her down."

The turtles grabbed their weapons and raced to the turtle van. "Turtle Power!" she called as they raced towards the access tunnels to bring them to street level.

Once they were gone, Master Splinter exited his chamber where he had been meditating and settled in front of the TV.

"Ah," he said. "Dirty Panty Party." He unbelted his kimono and began to meditate on his hard cock.

*****dear god no*****

"This is the place," said Leonardo from the passenger seat of the turtle van.

Michelangelo pulled up to the abandoned cat food factory and the turtles got out of the van.

"Everybody be quiet," said Leonardo.

"Why," said Raphael. "That slime ball is probably watching us right now."

They entered the factory and saw a gagged and bound April lying in the middle of the floor. Naked except for her ropes.

"April!" said Leonardo. They raced over to their friend and untied her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "Thanks to you guys. I don't suppose anybody has a cigarette?"

"Where's Shredder," said Leonardo. "Do you know what nasty trick he has in store for us."

Suddenly a clear plastic prison descended from the ceiling, encasing April and the turtles. There was a vent in the top of the cell, connecting to tubes to led to two huge tanks some feet away. A yellowy gas began to pump into the prison.

"Welcome turtles," said Shredder. "Glad you could make it. That gas, you've no doubt noticed by now, is a powerful aphrodesiac from Dimension X, laced with my own personal pheromones. When it runs it's course, and alters your body chemistry, you'll be my willing slaves. The promise of sucking my gorgeous **** or eating my tasty *** will be enough to get you to obey my every command."

The turtles began to pound against the sides of the cell. "It's too strong," said Donatello.

"You really are the smart one, huh Donatello," said Raphael. "Shut up on keeping hitting it."

"Perhaps my first command will be for you turtles to gang-bang your lovely friend," announced Shredder. "To the death."

"Everybody take off your bandanas and knee pads," said Leonardo.

"Uh oh," said Michelangelo, "Leo's starting to get horny."

"Just do it," said Leonardo.

The turtles piled their bandanas a protective turtle padding in a pile on the floor.

"Don, climb up on Raph's shoulders," said Leo. "Now Mikey, boost me up and then toss the bandanas up to me."

Mikey boosted him and Leo climb to the top of the turtle tower that Raph and Don had formed. Mikey began to toss the cloth padding up and Leo stuffed it tightly into the vent.

The gas began to flow backwards through the tube, and out into the factory.

Suddenly pressure built up (or something, who cares at this point) and the massive tanks exploded. A large chuck of metal hit the side of the plastic cage and cracked it.

A few good turtle punches was all it took the break the wall. April and the turtles raced outside, avoiding the fires that had started and trying not to breathe in the Shredder sex slave gas.

"Wait," said April. "Irma and Vernon are still in there."

"There are gas masks in the van," said Donatello. They raced to the storage compartment and everybody strapped on masks.

Racing back into the factory, the turtles saw that Rocksteady, Bebop, Vernon and Irma had all overdosed on the sex slave gas and were frantically trying to rip Shredder's armour and clothing off to have their way with him.

Leo and Don delivered ninja knock out strikes to pressure points on Irma and Vernon's body and they instantly fell unconscious and were able to be carried out with ease.

As the turtles fled, Shredder was wrestled to the ground by a horned up Rocksteady and Bebop. They tore at his clothing and began to have their way with him amongst the wreckage.

"Looks like Shredder won't be wearing white on his wedding day," said Raphael.

"I might be wearing a colostomy bag on mine," said April, grabbing at her *** and cooch.

The friends all laughed as they loaded into the turtle van and headed for home.