Cupid's Arrow has gotten pretty heavy lately. I needed a break from that.
"You don't think Oliver would ever kill me, do you?"
Diggle stopped in his tracks and took a moment to stare at his phone in confusion.
"Why would you ask me that?"
"Um…Well, I had a lot of time after work today, so I thought I'd… observe the holiday."
He narrowed his eyes, wondering what she was getting at. "Today is April first."
She cleared her throat. "Yep,"
Curious, Diggle smiled. "Felicity, what did you do?"
Felicity bit her lip as she drove to the foundry, afraid to see Oliver's reaction. What she did wasn't that bad, but she wasn't sure he'd appreciate it. He seemed allergic to laughter. She winced, thinking of the verbal beating in store for her. He yelled at her enough as it was…
Oh, good. She was the first one there. As she hurried down the stairs, she wondered if there was any time to undo her little prank. Or at least undo some of it. It had taken her a while to complete this practical joke, and it would take nearly as long to make it all disappear.
She gasped at the sound of the back door being opened. Apparently there wouldn't be time to do anything.
Panicking, Felicity threw her purse under the desk and sat down in her chair. Maybe he won't notice… Wait, who am I kidding? How could he not notice?
Oliver walked into view, followed by Diggle.
"The next name on the list is Colin…" Oliver looked bewildered as he spied the arrows on the table. "Abernathy. Who did that?"
Felicity glanced up from her screen, feigning innocence. "Who did what?"
Jaw tight with frustration, Oliver stepped closer and pointed to his arrows. "Who messed with my arrows?"
Felicity looked to where he was pointing. Every single arrow had a satin green bow tied around it. She had managed to not only do the ones on the table, but also the ones in his quiver. But maybe he wouldn't notice those.
Oliver glared at Diggle accusingly. The bodyguard raised his hands and tried not to smile.
"Hey, I didn't do it."
Comprehension dawning, he turned to Felicity.
"April Fools'!" she said weakly, her expression begging for mercy.
Oliver sighed. "Ha ha," he laughed humorlessly. "I guess it could've been worse."
Felicity's eyes widened. As Oliver made his way to his green vigilante box, she sprung out of her chair and hid behind Diggle.
"Please don't let him kill me." she whispered to him.
Diggle raised an eyebrow at her. Then they watched as Oliver opened the box.
Felicity flinched as the Hood smacked the table.
"Really, Felicity?" He turned around to show them his bow, which was covered in tiny plastic gems. "You BeDazzled my bow?"
"I BowDazzled it," she replied with a nervous smile, still using Diggle as a human shield. Diggle hung his head, trying very hard not to laugh.
Oliver shook his head. "This isn't funny."
"It is a little funny," quipped Diggle.
"I only did the upper and lower limbs." Felicity said. "And it isn't permanent. And you know I almost sewed a tiara to your hood? I didn't, though. I'm just saying it could've been worse."
"You're fixing this when I get back." Oliver commanded, pointing at her with his girly bow before leaving to change.
"He's really going out with his bow looking like that?" Felicity asked Diggle, tentatively stepping out from behind him.
Diggle giggled quietly. "I sure hope so."
The Hood wasn't going to let a namby-pamby bow stop him from killing Colin Abernathy. When Oliver found out how corrupt he was—drug trafficking, human trafficking, extortion— he knew there was an arrow with his name on it. He wasn't going to wait around for Felicity to scrape off the tacky jewels; he wanted justice.
The penthouse was dimly lit, at least what Oliver could see of it from the balcony. He entered the house silently and crept down the hall. As he approached the kitchen, he could hear Abernathy opening the fridge. Oliver reached behind him and pulled an arrow from his quiver. Unfortunately, it had a green satin bow tied around the shaft. Dammit. He should've checked his quiver before leaving.
Well, crap. You know what? Might as well leave it on. He'd be shooting at point-blank range anyway; the tiny ribbon wouldn't throw it off by too much.
Ready to shoot, Oliver entered the kitchen.
Abernathy stood at the island, dunking an Oreo into his glass of milk. Even evil people enjoy milk and cookies. Something moved in his peripheral vision, and he glanced over to see a tall hooded figure with a bow and arrow. Yelping, he scrambled away, his mouth half-full of cookie. After four steps, his socks failed to provide enough traction and he fell to the hardwood floor.
When he flipped over, the Hood was standing over him with an arrow pointed at his heart.
His initial terror was soon taken over by curiosity at the sight of the bow glinting in the dim light.
But he wouldn't let him finish. "What's on your bow?" Colin asked after swallowing his cookie.
The Hood frowned. "I'm about to kill you, and that's what you're thinking about?"
Abernathy ignored his response. "Are those… rhinestones?" In spite of the dire situation, he smiled. "Your bow is BeDazzled? And why is there a ribbon on that arrow?"
"April Fools' prank," the Hood growled.
"HA!" Abernathy burst out laughing. "Someone pranked the Hood! Someone had the balls to prank the Hood!" Colin continued to cackle.
The Hood rolled his eyes, annoyed that Abernathy was shaking with laughter instead of with fear. "You should be scared right now."
"Oh, look!" Colin pointed at the bow. "It's a daisy! There's a daisy on your bow! Such a pretty daisy..!" he trailed off, his laughter getting louder and taking over.
Eyes narrowed, the Hood drew his bow and fired.
Felicity was adding another ribbon to the growing pile of undone bows when Oliver walked in.
"How'd it go?" she asked nervously.
Diggle smiled, eager to hear what happened.
"He died laughing," Oliver answered grumpily. "Apparently, not even the fear of death can distract from the hilarity of a BeDazzled bow."
Diggle laughed silently, his shoulders shaking.
"I'm sorry, Oliver," she said, anxiously wringing a ribbon. "That was stupid of me, I shouldn't have—"
"Don't worry about it." He examined his bow. "I kind of like it, actually."
Felicity and Diggle shared a surprised glance.
"You do?" she asked.
"Hell no. Scrape this crap off."
The bow clattered as he placed it on the table in front of her. As he left to change, he looked back at her and smirked.