Disclaimer: I do not own twilight stuff. The rest of the stuff is mine.
AN: Thank you again for reading and reviewing and stuff. You are the cause of my smiles, and I am so grateful for you guys.
Sorry it's late. And sorry for mistakes.
Spending the entire day with Edward was definitely on the top of my list as far as best days ever went. He woke me up with sweet kisses, and we spent most of the morning curled up in bed talking, and snuggling with Gordie.
Around noon, we finally got up and ate, but found ourselves back to cuddling afterward-this time on the couch. We made out a little bit, too, but mostly, we just talked about everything. I could feel all my little nooks and crannies being swept out, and I was so ready to open the door and let him see everything I had to offer on the inside.
I hid a lot of my fears with humor and sarcasm. It was my only defense. He saw the weird me, the crazy me, but I wanted him to see the rest. I wanted him to like the rest.
I loved listening to him talk about his family. It was as plain as day how much he loved them, and missed them. I wondered if he'd ever pick up and move back to Chicago, just to be closer to them.
I evaded the family talk as much as possible, but he wasn't having it. I was embarrassed to be perfectly honest. He had all these great memories and anecdotes, and I had nightmares and memories best left in whatever town they'd be made in.
"Do you talk to your mom very much? Since she moved?"
I shook my head. "I take the obligatory phone call every few weeks. Otherwise, I ignore her. She's just drama, and I really don't care to talk about her."
He kissed the top of my head. "What about your dad?"
I shrugged and curled myself into him a little further, seeking that safe spot. "He's… well, he's… I guess he doesn't really like being around anyone. He's sort of a loner, and I get in his way most of the time, so I don't really visit."
That was the short version.
"How could he not like being around you. You're great."
I laughed, but it came out as a snort. "Yeah, well, according to Charlie, I'm turning out to be just like my mother—flighty and unpredictable, and he doesn't want any part of it."
His brow knitted together as he looked down at me. "You're not flighty, Bella. You're responsible, you hold down a job, you have your own place, pay your own bills. That's not easy for a young person, and especially not in the city. Don't put yourself down."
I nodded, but I didn't agree. It was hard to believe it when you'd been told the opposite a million and a half times before. "Rose thinks I need to take some more classes at the college. She wants me to keep my options open and discover what my passion is."
He smiled. "Like the flowers?"
I rolled my eyes. "That was stupid. I thought it'd be fun, but it just sucked. I don't know. I get so frustrated because there's not a lot I'm good at."
He pushed me on my back and climbed over me, smirking. "I know one thing you're really good at," he said.
I smiled. "I bet I could be good at other things, if my boyfriend gave me a chance."
He started to laugh, and then his face became serious. "Am I your boyfriend?"
My eyes bulged and I felt my cheeks fire up with embarrassment. "It's an expression. I mean, we're technically on our third date, right? We're dating, so I assumed, but I'm stupid. Nevermind…"
He pressed his finger against my lips and shook his head. "I want that. I just didn't want to push it. This is all like a fucking freight train. I don't want to drive you away by being so forward."
"Who says it's too fast? Is there a law? Do you follow some rule book because I sure as hell don't. I don't know how boyfriend/girlfriend deals work, to be truthful. I've had one boyfriend, and that was in seventh grade. I don't know what I'm doing—I'm just … happy with you. I want to be with you all the time. Aside of Rosalie and Emmett, you're my only other friend. In my head, when I talk about you, I've called you my boyfriend since the second day you came into the coffee shop, so if we're doing this, stop worrying about it."
His smile widened. "Okay, girlfriend. No rules. We do whatever we want."
I gave him a stiff nod. "Yup. Whatever we want."
He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking and letting his tongue twirl around. I made the most unusual animal growl-groan and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down against me.
"Can we just make out all the time? I swear, I will quit my job and we can just do this all the time."
He laughed. "How's that going to work when I'm on the ice?"
I shrugged. "I don't know? It won't, I guess. Speaking of… what time do you have to leave?"
He groaned and sat up. "I need to be at the airport by ten thirty. We have a midnight flight."
"Ah, man. This really sucks. I was getting nice and comfortable being here."
He sat up and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "This is just a thought, but you could take me to the airport... if you wanted to."
"I don't have a car; otherwise, I'd love to."
He smiled. "You can drive my truck. You can just drop me off and then you'll have a car to drive until I get back."
I laughed. "Oh, yeah. Sure. I probably can't even reach the pedals in that beast. Or see over the dash. Plus, what do I need that truck for? For my second job as a lumber hauler?"
He smiled, but it was sad and I hated it. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his torso. "You know what? I have a brilliant idea. I'll call Rose. She can drive us."
He looked over his shoulder at me. "Yeah? She wouldn't mind? I could call a car service. That's what I usually do."
I puckered my lips and smiled when he kissed me. "No way. This is better. Plus, I have a feeling I'm going to need her once you're gone."
He turned in my arms and laid us down again, pulling me down so my face was against his chest. He brushed his fingers through my hair, and I loved that. He'd been doing it since we'd first started cuddling, and it was the most comforting, sweet thing ever.
"I'd like you to be there. I want you to be the very last thing I see before I leave."
We fell into a calm silence, but inside I was curling up and dying. I could laugh and agree all I wanted, but it did feel fast-the falling. After spending two whole days with him, I couldn't imagine being without him. I was falling into full-on panic mode, and I wanted to run with one leg, and wrap the other around his waist and never let go.
"I'll call Rose and make sure she's not busy. I doubt she is. They are so boring. All they do is sit around being married."
He laughed. "Yeah, how does that look?"
I smirked. "Boring and old. I like being around them, though. They have the coolest house ever. I wish I would've had a house like that when I was growing up."
He smiled sadly again, and I knew, knew he could see right through me like cellophane. He knew I was messed up, unwanted. He could tell and that made me sick.
I got up, unable to look at his perfect smile and his hot body anymore, and went into the other room to call Rosalie.
"Hey... where are you?"
I laughed. "With Edward. I turned my phone off in case my stupid mom called and tried to interrupt me."
"Well, I stopped by the house last night to bring you a plate of dinner and you've had me freaking out all day wondering where you were. Don't do that to me, Bella."
I snorted. "Sorry, mama bear. I fell asleep, and then he asked me to stay. I'm spending as much time with him as possible. He won't be back for a while-not until this stupid play thing is over."
She sighed. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, and then answered. "Right now? Yes. Fine. I don't know about later."
I felt my chin wobble, and wiped at my eyes. I was falling the fuck apart.
"Listen-what are you doing tonight? He wants me to see him off at the airport, and I was thinking you could take me, us, so I have a ride home."
"I'd be happy to, Bella. You know that. You do know what this means, though, don't you?"
I giggled, and sniffed. "Oh, God."
"The man-boy is going to shit himself. Prepare Edward, will you? I don't want the man to call the cops."
I giggled louder, and turned when I heard Edward clear his throat from the doorway. "I will, Rose, and thank you so much for doing this."
"No problem. Love you kid."
I hung up and put the phone on the bed. "She can do it," I told him.
He nodded as he walked toward me. "Are you crying?"
I shook my head like a big liar. "No."
He sat down, pulled me into his arms and rocked me. "No crying, Bella. We have four and a half hours to spend and I don't want to waste it feeling sad. Okay?"
I nodded against his chest. "Okay."
I pulled back and tried to push my hair out of my face and cringed. It was a knotted up mess. "Ugh. I need a shower."
He jumped up and held his hand out. "I could use one, too. I need to pack, also. Maybe you can help me?"
"Shower?" I squeaked. "Hell yes I'll help you shower."
He chuckled and shook his head. "No. Pack. You can use the shower down here, and I'll shower in my bathroom. Alone." He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You can wear something of mine, and maybe have your friend bring you something to change into."
I was a little disappointed, not going to lie, but I agreed to a shower of my own. As usual, he was very sweet, starting the water and getting it warm and making sure I had everything I needed before stepping aside and letting me do my thing.
As I stood under the spray of the warm water, I felt like a princess. The shower was gorgeous and about half the size of my bedroom with a fantastic shower head. I wanted to wash my hair a thousand times with his shampoo, mostly because it smelled like him, but also because it smelled fantastic. It was so much nicer than the cheap crap I used and I could immediately run my fingers through my hair.
I began singing and dancing around. I never wanted to get out. I was in heaven.
"Taking a shower in Edward's shower," I crooned. "Naked in his houuuuse. Yeah, he's naked in his shower and I'm naked in his shower."
I was rocking away when a knock scared the ever-loving bajeezus out of me.
"You having fun in there?" he laughed.
I slapped my hand over my mouth and screamed as quietly as I could. I was the biggest idiot and I'd never been more embarrassed. Well, at least that day.
"Bella?" he asked again, and I could tell by the echo that he was inside the room. My entire body quivered. Just knowing he was right there and I was naked, and he was possibly partially naked, well, I was having a hard time breathing.
"Bella, are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you."
I took a deep breath and shut the water off. I shivered a little and then pushed the shower door open, peeking outside. "I'm fine. Just embarrassed to death."
He smiled and held out a huge fluffy towel. "Don't be embarrassed. I think it's cute. I've never known anyone that sings in the shower."
"All those other girls mute or something?"
His smile fell. "You and my mother are the only two women that have ever showered in there, Bella."
Well, that made me incredibly happy. A little creeped out imagining a mother naked in the same shower, but that was just how my brain worked. Weird.
"So they shower in your room?" I blurted out. I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it, especially when I saw the look on his face. It was definitely not a question I wanted the answer to, and he obviously didn't want to give that answer.
"I laid a t-shirt and a pair of sweats on the bed for you to change into until Rose gets here. I'll leave you alone so you can get ready."
He walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him and I just wanted to curl up on the tile floor and cry like a little bitch. Of course he had girls before. Of fucking course. I wasn't delusional. I was stupid, but naïve, no. Other women was something I was all too familiar with.
"You really are the dumbest girl on the planet. Jesus," I cursed at myself.
I got out, dried off, and then changed into the clothes he'd left for me. Again, so sweet, and I'd gone and made him feel bad for no damn reason. He had no reason to feel bad about being with other girls. It was asinine. As soon as I was dressed, I walked into the living room to find him on the couch, talking to his dog.
"I'm sorry I was an asshole. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."
He looked up and smiled, and then patted the cushion next to him. "Come sit."
I scurried over and sat down, folding my hands in my lap.
"I've never had a girl in my shower, either, Bella. Not here. I've only lived here for about a year."
I looked up, shocked. Did that mean he hadn't been with a girl in a year? I didn't believe that for a second.
"It's okay if you had. I mean, we've been dating for like… a day. I had no right to ask that. I was trying to be funny, but sometimes it just comes out as being smart-assed."
"It's okay, Bella. I want you to ask me questions. Believe me; I have questions for you, too. But not tonight, okay? Please. Let's just have tonight, and when I get back, we'll get to all the heavy shit, okay?"
I nodded and leaned into his shoulder. "Okay. But I want you to know I've never had a boy in my shower, either."
He kissed the top of my head. "Good to know. Thank you."
The doorbell rang and I jumped up, knowing it was Rose and Emmett, and dying to see the reaction Emmett would have.
"I'll get the door."
I ran to the door, swinging it open to a smiling Emmett. "Hey kid!"
I smiled. I loved the big fella. He had a heart as big as his smile, and you had to see Emmett's smile to know what I was talking about. "Hey! Thank you so much for doing this."
"Are you kidding? This is awesome!"
I felt Edward come up behind me and leaned back into him, smiling at Emmett. "Edward Cullen, this is Emmett McCarty, Rosalie's husband."
Emmett pushed through the threshold and trusted his big meaty hand toward Edward. "Man, you have no idea what an honor this is! I'm your biggest fan! That win last week in L.A, man, you killed it! I've watched your career for a while."
Edward shook his hand, and smiled. "Thanks. It's good to meet you. Thanks for taking us to the airport, I really appreciate it."
He tucked me into his side, which gave Emmett the opportunity to rush in and hug him. I heard the wind fly out of Edward's lungs with the force of it and giggled. Emmett was the ultimate fan, and I had a feeling he'd overwhelm Edward in no time.
"Um, thanks?" Edward said, looking down at me with wide eyes.
"Emmett, why don't you let your wife in the house before you molest my boyfriend. Jeez."
He stood back and then behind him to find a scowling Rosalie.
She huffed and pushed past him. "I am so sorry for him. Seriously."
Edward laughed and waved her off. "It's all good. It's nice to meet fans."
I rolled my eyes. I was sure he felt awkward, but it was just like him to be as sweet as could be.
"Here's your clothes, but I have to say, you look awful cute in that getup, sweetie."
Rosalie held up a bag of clothes and I grabbed them and held them against my chest. I was almost sad I'd have to change. Edward's t-shirt was practically a dress on me, and the sweats were enormous, but they were his and they were soft and comfy.
"I'll be right back. I'm going to change really fast."
I turned and headed to Edward's bedroom and dumped the bag out. I laughed when I found a slinky little dress, skimpy lingerie and heels. Rosalie was insane.
"What?" Edward said from behind me.
I turned and found him standing in the doorway, leaning against it with his forearms and looking like hot sexy candy. Yes, candy. I wanted to lick him all up.
"Rosalie thinks she's my pimp now. She dug in the back of her closet and dug out hooker-wear ala nineteen-ninety-six. I can't wear this stuff."
I plopped down on the bed and shook my head. He stepped into the room and headed straight for the clothes. He held up the dress and chuckled. "That's a shame. I think I'd like to see this on you."
My head snapped over to him. "Maybe another time. I can't wear that to the airport. Ugh, I'll just wear what I had on."
He held up a finger and went over to his closet and pulled out a sweatshirt. "Wear this and your jeans. It's cold out, anyway. I don't want you to get sick."
I smiled. "That'll work. I'm so sorry they're so weird. They mean well, I swear it."
He leaned down and kissed me. "They're great, and they love you. I like them already. Now, hurry up and get dressed. We have to head out."
I smirked and lay back on the bed. "Are you sure you don't want to watch?"
He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes. "No, I'm not sure. I'm positive. I don't need to board a seven hour flight with a boner."
He walked out, shutting the door behind him and I kicked my legs up in the air and squealed.
"Yes! I give him boners!" I yelled.
"Bella!" He called through the door. "Hurry. Up."
I scrambled with the clothes, got dressed quickly and then met them in the living room. I almost died when I walked in, seeing Emmett practically on his lap, talking excitedly and flailing his arms around. Rosalie was sitting across the room shaking her head and picking at her nails. I knew she was as excited for Emmett as he was, even though she was acting annoyed.
"Okay, I'm ready."
Edward let out a long breathe, rubbed his hands down his thighs, and then stood. "Gordie, come here, boy."
Gordie came running and jumped up, putting his paws up on his shoulders. He licked his face and Edward scratched his head and gave him kisses and I couldn't believe how adorable they were.
"Who stays with him while you're gone?"
I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me before, but I suddenly got worried.
He urged Gordie down, and wiped the dog slobber off his face with his sleeve. "My neighbor watches him for me. He'll be fine."
"So, you get shotgun, Edward. I'm driving, so that'll give us more time to talk. I want to hear your thoughts for who'll go to the Stanley finals. Dude, I totally think the Twilight have it in the bag…"
"Emmett, I love you, but please shut up!"
We all laughed and Emmett blushed. "It's Edward-freaking-Cullen, Rosalie! Cullen the killer!" he hissed.
Edward groaned and then let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, let's get going."
He picked up his bag, held out his hand, and brought it up to his lips. "You ready?"
I shook my head. "Not at all."
He smiled sadly and headed for the door. We all packed into Emmett's SUV, and thankfully, Edward got to sit next to me in the back, even though I thought Emmett was going to cry. We held hands the whole way, and I wondered how I was going to survive not seeing him, or touching him for God only knew how long. It could've been a week, or a month. I had no idea. It sucked, and I hated it. I'd really gotten used to sleeping with him, even though it'd only been one night. My measly little mattress in my measly, lonely little apartment was going to suck royally.
We pulled up at the curb at the airline, and they let us out while they found a parking spot. As Edward and I walked into the airport, my stomach felt like it was full of stones. It hurt, everywhere, but mostly in my heart.
He took care of what he needed to at the counter while I waited behind him, looking at everything and anything other than him. I was having serious worst case scenario issues, worrying about everything from the plane crashing to him falling in love with a hot flight attendant. I felt like I was going to throw up.
When he was done, he turned around, and grabbed my hand. I squeezed his hard, letting him know that I was in no way okay with letting him go. He squeezed back, and I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't look up. I felt so needy and creepy, honestly. He was going to think I was some kind of freak the way I was so clingy. I wasn't sure how to change it, though because I'd never been that way. Ever. Not even with Rosalie and Emmett. I loved them to pieces, but most of the time, I was ready to leave at the end of our time together. I was okay going back to my little space alone. I'd been alone for a long time. I was comfortable there—it was easy. He was making things really difficult and confusing, and I just didn't have the emotional toolbox to fix my shit.
"Well, I guess this is it," he said with a sigh. "I'll call you. I promise."
We'd made it to the end of the area, and I could no longer go with him. The rope was wrapped so tightly around my heart, I thought I'd lose circulation. I was all tied up inside, so mad about him, it was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do to watch him walk away from me.
"Hey," he said softly.
I still couldn't look at him. I knew I'd just crack, and I didn't want that.
He lifted my chin with his finger and what he saw there, I couldn't even tell you. It must have been enough for him to see just how deep things went for me, and how devastated I was watching him go.
"I'll be back, and we'll pick up right where we left off. I swear it, Bella. I'm coming right back to you."
I nodded, and tried to look at him finally, but I just couldn't focus. Everything was blurred out by my tears, and the sound of my heart breaking pretty much drowned out everything else.
"Will you watch my games?" he asked.
"Yes," I said, my voice shaking. "Emmett will make me."
He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. "I like him. He's kind of crazy, but I can tell he's a good guy. He looks after you, doesn't he?"
I nodded against his chest. "He does."
"Good. I'm serious, though. Please watch my games. I'll give you a sign, okay, so you know that even out there, no matter how hard I try to leave you off the ice, you're there. You've been there for a while, Bella."
The dam broke and I just lost it. I cried, snotty and sloppy and ugly. I clung to the back of his jacket and pressed my face against him, not giving one shit how it looked or how he saw it. I felt deep and hard and wild for him. I wasn't going to drop love bombs on him, but it was there inside of me. Love, love, love. So much love, I swore I was just spilling over.
"Don't cry… Jesus, you're killing me. Come on, sweetheart, please don't cry."
Yeah, there was no stopping it. Only when I felt Rosalie's hand on my shoulder and her sweet cooing in my ear did I finally pull away.
He held my face in his hands, looked me hard in the eyes and then kissed me, right there in the middle of Sea-Tac for the entire world to see. When he pulled away, I smiled at his red, puffy lips, and a little bit because of the moisture I found in his eyes.
"Be good, while I'm gone. I'll call you as soon as I get to Toronto, and as often as I can from there. Okay?"
"I'll miss you," he said, lowering his voice.
"I'll miss you, too."
He smiled. "Okay, well. I have to board now, so…"
I threw myself at him one last time, hugged him tight, and kissed his chest. "I really can't wait for the damn playoffs to be over!"
He laughed. "You'll miss me that much?"
I pushed back and looked up at him. "No. I really hate the damn beard."