DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, but I own hockeyfucker

AN: HELLO! Is anyone still there? Thank you for being patient with me. I hate it when I suck and don't update! I hope you have a little fun with this chapter to make up for it :D


I jerked my head backward to stare at Bella after her outburst. My first instinct was to groan, but I knew better. She'd fit in just fine in the Cullen household. My entire family was full of filthy mouthed heathens.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Her hand clutched at her heart, and her wide eyes were focused on the sunken family room in front of us. The room where my brothers were wrestling like a couple of overgrown apes.

"They're just messing around," I murmured, rubbing my hand over her arms. Soothing. Calming. She was freaking out.

"I just… I mean… ho-lee shit. Like, holy shit… those are your brothers?"

My eyebrows dipped in confusion. "Uh, yeah? I told you I had brothers…"

I don't get what the deal is. Was it really that shocking to find them play-fighting? I realized she'd been an only child. Maybe it was fucking weird. To me, it was like a familiar oil painting on the wall. Normal. Same ol', same ol'.

"But you didn't… and I mean, and they… holy shit."

I was getting annoyed. I'd told my mom she was a little quirky, but she was going to think I'd brought some escaped mental patient into her house. That would piss her off, big time.

"Ah, yeah, those are my boys," my ma chuckled. "They usually have this reaction… well, not so dramatic," she laughed.

"Come on. Let's introduce you. Boys, clean up your act. We got a lady in the house."

Both of my brothers stop and look up, Jasper's arm still wrapped around Garrett's throat and Garrett tucked up into a little ball trying to escape.

At first, I can see the confusion in Jasper's face, but then he sees me, and then Bella, and an evil grin pulls at his lips.

"Well, well. My brother and his little woman." Jasper drops Garrett to the ground, wipes his hands on his shorts, and strolls over to where we're standing.

I moved closer to Bella and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, glaring at my big brother.

He's still smiling, and I just know he's going to fuck with me. Big time.

"Bella," he greets her, smiling. He holds out his hand, and when she reaches out, he holds it to his lips and kisses her knuckles. "You're a pretty little thing, aren't ya?"

She giggles, and I want to throat check his ass. He's putting on all the charm, he's good. Real good.

"Watch it, asshole."

He winks at me. "I'm Jasper. The good-looking one."

"Yeah you are."

I cleared my throat. "Excuse me?"

I mean, what the hell was that?

She blinked rapidly and looked up at me, apologetic eyes and a frown to boot. "He is, though. Hot, but you're way hotter, baby."

My mom stifled a laugh and it felt like I was ten years old again, and I want to run away. "Thanks, babe. Great."

Jasper chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Lookin' good, little bro."

I grunted. "Do you ever wear clothes? Jesus."

He shrugged, and was about to say something else when Garrett shoulder checked him and moved his way toward Bella.

"I'm Garrett. Nice to finally meet you, Bella."

My oldest brother at least had some manners. Not many, but he wasn't the dick Jasper was. "Little bro talks about you all the time."

I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. A nervous habit I hated. I just wanted all the introductions over with. They were pissing me off. Playing games. Making me squirm. It's what they did.

"Come on in the family room, darlin'. These boys need to go get cleaned up. Go on. Scoot. The girls will be back soon and we can eat. Go! Now!"

My mom snapped a towel at them, a technique she'd perfected a long time ago. I was grateful, though. Bella was actually drooling and I was ready to rip her head off.

"They're taken, so you can put your tongue back in your mouth," I snapped, unwrapping my arm and walking into the family room away from her.

I was being a little bitch, and the chuckle from behind me told me that they caught on to it. I'd never live it down. Just as the thought slipped into my head, I felt the force of a body behind me and I was on the ground, face against the plush forest green carpet of my mother's family room.

"Get off me, you dick!" I yelled. "I swear, I will beat your ass."

And then I felt more pressure, and knew Garrett had joined Jasper in completely humiliating me in front of my girlfriend.

"I am going to straight up die now. Like, wings and halos and little harps on a cloud. Fuck me."

Bella. She was a mess, and I was ready to drag her out to my old tree house and fuck my brother's and their meaty chests out of her head.

"Except, I'm probably going to hell with what I'm thinking about right now."

"Bella!" I yelled. "Do you think you can stop checking out my brother's?"

She laughed. "Yeah, not gonna happen. This big, hunk-man sandwich is like every girl's dream, so no. I ain't giving you this one, sweetheart."

I groaned, and then cried out when I felt a knee in my back and my leg being pulled backward. "Ahhh, fuckers!"

"Uncle, bitch. Say it!"

I couldn't believe that this was happening in front of her. I'd hoped they wouldn't embarrass me, but really, I knew they would. I figured they'd make an extra effort since it was the first time I'd brought a girl home to meet them.

"Uncle! Now fuck off!"

The pressure was finally gone, and then I felt the brunt of Jasper's head against the back of mine.

"Unf," I groaned. "You guys are fucking idiots."

"Can we cut down on the f-word, boys? Like I raised a bunch of damn monkeys!"

My mom continued to drill us on our behavior, while I tried to rid myself of the stars rolling around in my head. They were truly assholes.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up to find Bella crouching down in front of me, worry clear in her eyes. "They kicked your ass."

I laughed, unbelieving. "Just wait. They caught me off guard."

"They're huge," she whispered.

Just then, the front door slammed, and my father's booming voice carried into the room. "Where's my boy?"

I got up, straightened out my shirt, and tried to settle the mess on top of my head. I hated it when they fucked up my hair.

"Hey, Pops," I said, smiling into the burley face of my father.

He was still in his uniform, and the grin he gave me in return warmed me up inside. He wasn't big on emotions, but he loved us all with everything he had.

"Looks like you already got a piece," he said. He laughed, causing his chest to puff out underneath the coarse fabric of his shirt.

"Fuckers," I mumbled as I made my way over.

He grabbed me into a full bear hug, and then let me go just as quickly. "You're looking weak. Might be why you've been moving so slow on that ice, eh? You like letting those pussies knock you down, boy?"

I rolled my eyes. "We're in the playoffs, aren't we?"

He huffed and crossed his brutal arms over his thick chest. "You're playing sloppy. You need to get your head out of your ass. Making lots of mistakes out there, dipshit."

That was my dad. Even if he thought I was playing the game of my life, he had to make me rethink things. Don't get me wrong, no one was more proud of me or what I'd accomplished. There was no bigger fan. It was just his way, it's what kept us on our toes and pushed us to do better.

"Yeah, well, we'll see, old man."

"So, where's this little bit of honey that's been sucking your brain cells outta your head? Let me get a look-see."

I felt Bella creeping up behind me, and turned, grabbing her hand and pulling her in front of me. "Dad, this is my Bella. Bella, this is my dad, Carl."

He grinned, taking her all in. I could tell he approved right away. Who wouldn't? She was a hot piece of ass, and I could tell he was impressed. Honestly, I could've brought a dog home and he would've welcomed her with open arms, but her, my Bella, yeah, the old man was giving me the mental thumbs up.

"You call me Pops, sweetheart." He pulled her toward him, lifting her up off her feet in one of his trademark squeeze.

She let out a little squeak and he chuckled, loosening his grip, but not letting her go. He studied her face with a warm smile.

I could tell she was terrified. My dad was a big dude, but really just a huge teddy bear.

"You done good, kid. This one's a keeper. Even got some meat on her bones." He gave her another squeeze, and let her go. She was stunned, staring up into his face like she's seen God.

"It's like winning the Powerball in this family. Holy shit!" She whispered harshly, shaking her head.

My mom laughed. "Honey, are you giving this girl a hard time? You're going to chase her away and Eddie brought her all the way from Washington. Behave!"

"Why don't you come help me in the kitchen? A lady shouldn't be left alone with these animals."

She grabbed Bella's hand and started dragging her through the house to the kitchen. I watched them leave the room, my gaze following Bella, wishing more than anything I could swipe her up and run. As much as I loved my family, I hoped to God it wasn't too much.

Yeah, her mom was a psycho, but my family put crazy to shame. The good thing was, they were harmless, mostly, so she would be in good hands with my mom.

A burley hand clasped onto my shoulder and I took a deep breath as I turned to face my dad. "Son, that is one fine woman."

"She is, yeah," I admitted. "The best."

"I bet she is," Garrett snorted, raising his eyebrows.

"I'll fucking kill you. If your wife wasn't the size of a motorhome, I'd make you feel uncomfortable right now, bitch."

"Burn!" Jasper cackled from the corner.

"Fuck you!" Garrett snapped. "You wait until that little honey punches out one of your big-headed kids. With hips like that, she'll be a fatty in no time."

I lunged at him and tackled him to the ground. I got a few good swings in before I was pulled off the floor by my dad and yanked backward.

"Knock it off! All of you!"

"He started it!" I yelled, pointing at Garrett's ugly face.

"Doesn't matter. Stop acting like a bunch of women. Go get cleaned up before the real women get back."

Jasper and Garrett left the room, sniggering like a couple of little brats. Taking a deep breath, I started after them.

"Hold on, Kid. Not so fast. Let's talk for a minute."

It was my dad's serious voice, so I followed orders and met him in the family room, sitting across from him and his old dilapidated chair.

He was quiet for a moment, kicking off his boots and settling back with a loud groan. It was comfortable, and I found myself easing in. This was normal. This was home.

"So, you have a good trip?"

I nodded. "Not too bad. Bella hates planes."

He nodded, smirking. "So, you in love with that girl?"

Shaking my head, I nodded. "I guess I am."

"You guess?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I love her, Sir. I'm in love with her."

"Good. That's good. You need a good woman to take care of you. You've always been a little pussy."

I laughed. "Nice, Dad. Real nice."

He shrugged. "It's true. All three of you. You're mom babied you. She worries about you out there, you know. This will settle her down. Make her shut it a little."

"I wonder what they're doing in there?" I looked over at the kitchen, hoping my mother wasn't telling Bella anything embarrassing. "You don't think Mom…"

He held his hand up and shook his head. "If she can't hack it, she's not the one. Something tells me she's gonna be just fine. She's got fire, don't she?"

I nodded, gulping. "She sure does. She's not like anyone I've ever met. She's… special."

He groaned, and then laughed. "Damn, boy… you got it bad. I shouldn't laugh, but damn it's fun seeing you this way. She takes the piss right out of you, doesn't she?"

I nodded, and then silence fell over us again. I looked up, emotional all of a sudden. It was weird having Bella in my house. It was just a lot to take in.

"How nice you boys sitting in her so quiet. You having a good talk with Daddy?"

My mom walked over to my dad, pulled the TV tray out in front of him, and popped the cap off a bottle of beer before placing it in front of him with a kiss on his forehead.

I was seeing moments like this in a whole new light. Bella had done something to me. She'd changed me in ways I hadn't even noticed. I'd always wanted what my parent's had, but different. Yeah, they were loud and they fought, but they loved each other in such an organic and natural way, it was like they were just made for each other. Watching them made me feel warm. Loved.

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

Mom wiped her hands on her apron and slipped the beer cap into one of the pockets. "She's in there making gravy. You know that girl didn't even know how to make brown gravy? No worries," she said, shaking her hand in the air and rolling her eyes. "By the time she leaves here, she'll fix you a dinner that will rival mine. She's a natural. Damn shame she didn't have a mother to teach her these things. Damn shame."

I shook my head, confused. "Wait. She has a mother, Mom…" My throat went dry, hoping like hell Bella wasn't in there souping up some crazy story about being motherless. Not that I'd put it past her—she was a bucket short when it came to common sense sometimes, and I knew her mother was a sore subject.

"Oh, that girl doesn't have a mother worth a shit is what I mean. A mother knows when another drops the ball, sweetheart."

I shook my head. "Thanks, Mom."

She winked and walked over to me, grabbing my face in her hands and kissing me square on the lips. "She's darling. Truly. She's just fine. Mama will take care of her."

She left the room without another word, and I'd never loved my mom more in that moment.

"Mmm hmm," my dad hummed. "Your mother is the finest woman I've ever met. You're lucky, boy, and you'll have a good woman to take care of you. I fall in love with her every time she leaves the room."

I followed his gaze, and clenched my eyes. "Jesus, Dad. That's my mom. I hate when you do that shit."

He was shameless. He loved her, and he'd never had a problem letting it show. He wasn't one for laying a bunch of emotional bullshit on us, but I'd seen my share of ass slaps and gropes in the kitchen between the two of them to put me in full blown therapy forever.

But it never came down to that. If anything, it encouraged me to find that woman that made my eyes light up when I saw her. A woman I could love even after thirty something years. A woman with the body of a mother that put herself before everyone else. I wanted true love, and they had it in droves.

And I had it. I knew it down deep in my soul. I could love Bella forever—would love her forever. She was that girl. The girl I'd love even when she wore muumuu's and sweat pants all the time. She didn't even have to make me pot roast or open my beers, although, that was the cherry on the cake. I wouldn't hate it, but I didn't need all that. I just wanted her by my side.

"All right, who the fuck is in my parking spot? That damn tree drips sap, and someone's washing my car! That's all I'm sayin…"

I smiled. That voice belonged to one of my favorite girls in the world. My little sister. I stood, walked over to the entrance of the family room, and crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn't wait to hear her squeal and throw herself in my arms.

What I was not ready for was the striking redhead with a scowl on her face. I was not ready to come face to face with Victoria. My ex.


Thanks again for reading :D Have a great weekend y'all!

ROLL TIDE ROLL!