Erin: The promised angst has arrived! Is it really horrible of me to say I enjoy torturing you readers? I love my depressing angst filled tragedies the best. Especially if they make you cry.

Disclaimer – I do not own Teen Wolf

Reblog Link: horsemanofdeath DOT tumblr DOT com /post/47245727560/sterek-forever-when-stiles-stepped-out-of-the

Nothing But Regrets

Stiles was drunk, depressed, and not in the right state of mind. He was so tired of everything. Tired of lying to his Dad, of having to fight for the affections of his best friend, but most of all he was tired of being in love with a guy who for all intents and purposes seemed to hate him. They had fought again and Stiles he just couldn't do it anymore. So he went to Jungle to get drunk and try to forget Derek, forget that he loved him.

He hadn't planned or even wanted this to happen. He just wanted to feel something other than his heart breaking. The instant it was over all he felt was regret. He hadn't wanted this. He didn't want to lose his virginity in some alleyway to some no name, no faced, stranger. But he had and now he couldn't take it back.

He sat in his jeep crying. What had he done? It was suppose to be Derek. Derek was suppose to love him.

Stiles pulled into his driveway to find Derek sitting on his steps. He was the last person Stiles wanted to see. Wiping the tears off with his sleeve Stiles cleaned himself up. He wasn't sure why he cared how Derek saw him. Hell he wasn't even sure why he was here. Hadn't he said enough? Wasn't their last fight enough?

When Stiles stepped out of the car Derek could see that his eyes were bloodshot and he smelled so strong of regret that Derek didn't recognize it at first; the smell of another man.

Derek stood up taking a tentative step forward. "What have you done?"

"Derek I'm sorry," Stiles found himself apologizing. Why was he apologizing?

"No you don't have the right to be sorry right now Stiles," Derek snarled.

"I don't have the right?" Everything in him snapped. "Fuck you! You have no right to be angry! We're not together! You don't give a shit about me! You have no goddamn say in my life!"

Derek stared wide eyed at him. Was that really what Stiles thought? "That's not true."

"No?" Stiles laughed hysterically. "All we do is fight and all I ever wanted was for you to like me. Was for you to love me as much as I love you." Tears poured down his face. "I couldn't do this anymore. You've made it clear how you feel about me and I just wanted to forget about all the hurt. And then…" Stiles sniffled. "Somehow I was in that alley and he was… And I was… It was awful. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Not my first. I wanted it to be you. But I can't have you."

Stiles collapsed on the ground and let the sobs rack through his body.

"Stiles," Derek spoke his voice just a whisper. "Stiles." He shook his head unwilling, unable, to look up at him. "I'm sorry." Derek fell to his knees in front of him. "Oh God Stiles I'm so sorry." It was the broken tone in his voice that causes Stiles to finally glance up. Derek was crying. Trails of water ran down his cheeks. "I should have told you."

"Told me what?" Stiles managed.

Derek swallowed. "You're my mate," his voice trembled. "You're my mate."

Stiles shook his head. "No. If I was—then why would we always fight? Why?" Stiles found himself demanding answers.

"Because I hadn't claimed you," he tried to explain. "The frustration, the ache, the constant need to restrain myself, to keep myself from snatching you up, hiding you away from the world it built up in me and every time I saw you it got so much worse that I couldn't… I just lost control."

"Why didn't you tell me?" his own anger was building up. All of this had been for nothing.

"Because I didn't think you wanted me. That girl Lydia, you loved her," Derek couldn't believe how much of a fool he was. How stupid the reasons where now.

"Lydia was a crush, a little boy's crush who had this whole fantasy of how the world worked. You are—were," Stiles was unsure of anything now, "my future." It was all sinking in. Derek loved him. He was Derek's mate and he slept with someone else. "No no no no no. Oh God."

Stiles turned away as he puked all over the grass. More tears fell. He wondered how much one person could cry.

"Stiles," Derek whined.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry," he didn't think he could ever say those words enough.

Derek wrapped him up cradling Stiles to his chest. This shouldn't have happened. He should have said something. Why hadn't he? What where his stupid excuses doing for him now?

He rested his head atop Stiles letting the silent tears flow as he rocked Stiles wishing to God he could take away his pain undo the night. But he couldn't fix this. You can't go back in time.

Erin: That wasn't too horrible now was it? I didn't kill any characters. Though I did break them a little… Well review please and let me know your thoughts.