set post-Unlimited. Andy practically tries many practices on his journey. and i know zkc calls many countries differently but let's pretend it doesn't in this story ok? ok.
"So, you see, I didn't mean to come back." Andy finishes, dipping his calves into the pool. The children occasionally throw water at him, which he skilfully dodges.
Hyoubu hums in understanding. He is crouching next to Andy, hugging his feet and not daring to put them into the water like the younger man is doing. "I wasn't quite listening. Repeat."
"Again?" Andy moans, raising an eyebrow at the Major. "That was my second time retelling! Are you distracted or what?"
"Distracted, huh? Let's go with that." Hyoubu sends meaningful looks at his direction, smirking in his alluring fashion.
Andy flushes, looks away, and settles to stare at his magnificently-cut toenails in fascination. "I was in China when I remembered it was your birthday, okay? But I had no idea how to go about finding you, what's with the camouflage and all."
"I'm disappointed you didn't try harder, Hinomiya." Hyoubu clicks his tongue and waves a finger, all the while managing to keep an attractive smile plastered on his face.
Andy makes noises behind his throat before he coughs and continues, decidedly ignoring Hyoubu's comments. "So I decided to just move on, you know? And I was about to board a ship to Taiwan when you guys suddenly materialized the Catastrophe. That was okay. But when you materialized in front of me, old man, I was partly traumatized."
"Ah, the essence of surprise." Hyoubu nods in agreement.
"So, it's not that I came back on my own. It's because you guys kidnapped me." Andy chides, shuddering as he remembers being dragged by the collar up to the sky and dropped into the pool. Part of the reason why he hasn't stopped trembling is because his clothes are still wet and Hyoubu refuses to let him go for some reasons.
"Hinomiya-kun," Hyoubu slurs, "am I right to think that you don't actually care about my birthday?"
Andy turns to the older man in the slowest motion and feels his neck ache, but it doesn't hurt him as much as Hyoubu's glare, veiled with a manipulative smirk. "Of course it's not like that." He manages, rubbing the back of his head.
"Where is the proof?" Hyoubu asks, with a sweet, sweet, thorny smile.
Andy reaches out for his backpack and rummages through the inside. Hyoubu thinks he hears the sound of plastic and glass breaking. After a long, tense moment, Andy splashes some water off his feet as he pulls out a doll made of ceramic.
"I practiced making matryoshka dolls in Russia." Andy explains, placing the doll on the floor between them. Hyoubu takes off the top to reveal another doll inside, whose top, when removed, reveals another doll. "And I learnt some flower-decorating in Japan." A pot of flowers, most of which Hyoubu can name. "I was a freeloader in the house of a lantern-maker in China, so obviously I tried to make my own." A bloody red lantern with drawings of unicorns. As skilled as he is at dodging water, Andy manages to deflect the eyes Hyoubu is giving him. "I practiced pottery too. I thought I should try my hands on their local dances as well."
"Is there anything useful that you've been trying to do while going around the world?" Hyoubu asks in an accusing tone, fondling the flowers on his lap.
"Of course! I mastered the Russian military style, karate, judo, muay thai, and kung-fu!" Andy splutters indignantly. He bolts up and poses as though to prove it. In his attempt to settle in a position, he knocks over Patty, who is carrying a tray of cups of chamomile tea. Of course, the cups tumble down and break as they touch the slippery floor. Patty huffs and slams the tray at Andy's head before stomping away.
Hyoubu laughs, clutching at his own stomach.
"I hate you guys. Why do I still try?" Andy groans, lying down with the lower half of his body in the pool and the upper half suspended on the edge. His hands are nursing his head, and his hair has become dishevelled as he has been tossing it around to find the bump.
"Because you are an idiot, that's why." Hyoubu laughs, leans down, pauses in his laughter, and kisses Andy on the lips. The younger man hacks when Hyoubu pulls apart, and regrets it immediately as Hyoubu shoves a tongue in the gap between his teeth. Andy struggles for a brief moment, but his legs become numb and he gives up using his arms. Closing his eyes, Andy wrestles against Hyoubu's tongue in his mouth. He gasps for breath but Hyoubu keeps stock still. The very moment their mouths move apart from each other, Andy slumps onto the floor, panting heavily.
(During this very scene, Magi has taken the initiative to cover Yuugiri's eyes, who has been sitting on the side as they wait for the two to finish talking. The Major insists in monopolizing Hinomiya, however, so they have waited for a good hour. Patty, on the other hand, snatches millions pictures of the happening and everyone automatically pretends not to notice her animalistic eyes.)
"There, now." Hyoubu says, standing up and brushing his lips with his tongue. "Isn't that the perfect birthday present?"
Andy is too tired to give a snarky reply. He can, however, smile at Hyoubu and clutch his hand. He may be kidnapped by this group of dysfunctional family for all he knows, but at least he is home.