The Sound Of Gandalf
A somewhat strange humor based on the ideas of Tigrin and I at 3:27 in the morning. Yummy :D
The Itallic and Bold text following the song lyrics are the lines of Samwise, who is acting as an echo for Gandalf.
*WHACK*: is when Gandalf gives Samwise another painful whack with his 'wooden rod'
Please note that I do not own the characters that I use in this writing. They belong to whoever they belong to :O
Nor do I own The Sound Of Music, but it just went perfectly with the idea =D!
"Over the hill and down to the brook!"
"I know that I'd rather be reading a book!"
Frodo and Samwise sang their melodious hymn in unison, sounding as if their voices were one...
"Oh my! A snake bit my pony! Look!"
"That doesn't rhyme!"
But in his merry spirit, Frodo remained.
"Woe is me!"
"I no longer have a pony to ride!"
Samwise gladly offered his own pony, but due to circumstances out of their control, Sam's pony was struck with a bolt of lightning, and was pronounced dead at 4:35 PM at the Middle-Earth international animal care facility.
"Oh no, woe is us!"
Gandalf and Samwise proclaimed.
"My pony is dead!"
"and mine is maimed!"
But Frodo knows what will bring happiness to their hearts once more!
"Samwise! Gandalf! I shall sing for you a song of lore!"
"Not now young Hobbit, for I am mourning..."
"And anything you sing by yourself is just plain boring"
Frodo yells energetically.
"And a one, and a two, and a one, to three four!"
"The hills are alive with the sound of music.."
"With songs they have sung for .."
Samwise says cheerily.
"Mmm, a thousand years damnit..."
All of a sudden, Gandalf stands up quickly, eyes filled with inspiration.
"Gather the camp lads! For I have now, a BRILLIANT plan!"
He then proclaims loudly.
~ The View then goes to the peak of a small hill, where you can hear a faint tune being sung, but the tune is getting stronger, becoming a song! ~
Suddenly, Gandalf appears!
"Oh the hills are alive with the sound of music!
With songs they have sung for a thousand years!
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music!"
"Gandalf sir, I am growing tired!"
Gandalf is RIDING on Frodo's back.
"Silence, fool of a Baggins!"
A sharp whack is heard, as Gandalf has impaled Frodo with his wooden wizarding rod!
"Sing it with me Samwise!"
The two join in the verse.
"My heart wants to sing every song it hears! That it hears!
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees! To the trees!
My heart wants to sigh like the chime that flies from a church on a breeze! Oh on a breeze!
To laugh like a brook as it trips and falls over stones on its way! On it's way!"
"Gandalf sir! Please! I cannot support your weight!"
"FRODO BAGGINS! ARE YOU INSISTING THAT I AM FAT??!"
Frodo cowers at the mighty power of Gandalf.
"No, Lord Gandalf!"
Gandalf raises an eyebrow.
"Mmm, yes, I like that! From now on you shall address me as 'LORD GANDALF'!!"
Samwise raises his eyebrow as well, and gets an angry look from Gandalf
"SAMWISE GAMGEE! DOES THOU RAISE THINE EYEBROW AT ME?"
"Why no mister Gandalf sir! I wasn't raisin' no eyebrows at thou!"
Another sharp whack is heard as Samwise is struck to the ground by Gandalf's wooden rod.
"I CLEARLY STATED THAT THOU SHALT REFER TO ME AS 'LORD GANDALF'!"
"Yes mister Gandalf! Er!"
Gandalf then orders Samwise to assume the position, Samwise performs accordingly, and receives a sharp whack to his hindquarters.
"We shall be on our way!"
Frodo is off and galloping over a hill.
"To laugh like a brook as it trips and falls over stones on its way! On it's *Ow* Way!
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to prey! *Ow* Learning to *Ow* Prey!
I go to the hills when my heart is lonely! My *rear hurts* *WHACK* HEART IS LONELY!!!
I know I will hear what I've heard before! *Silence* *WHACK* *YELP* I'VE HEARD BEEEFOOREEEE!!!
All of a sudden, Frodo stops, exhausted from galloping with Gandalf on his back.
"Fool of a Baggins! We are wasting precious time! Now mush!"
"But Gandalf Sir.."
Frodo is at full gallop once more..
"My heart will be blessed with the sound of music! *My rear will be blessed with the ointment of healing..* *WHACK* THE SOUND OF MUSIEK! *WHACK*
And I'll sing once more! *Oh god no..* *WHACK* ONCE MORE!
"The hills are alive with the sound of music! MUSIEK! *WHACK*
With songs they have sung for a thousand years! *Mister Gandalf!* *WHACK* *Lord Gandalf!* *WHACK* ERM, A THOUSAND YEARS!!
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music! MUSIEK! * WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK*
My heart wants to sing every song it hears! I HEARS! *WHACK* IT HEARS!
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees! TO THE EFFING TREES! *WHACK* TO THE TREES!
My heart wants to sigh like the chime that flies from a church on a breeze! ON A STEED! *WHACK* ON A BREEZE!
To laugh like a brook as it trips and falls over stones on its way! *I'm tired Lord Gandalf!* *WHACK* ON IT'S WAY!!
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to prey! TO PREY!!!
I go to the hills when my heart is lonely! LONEEELYY! *WHACK*
I know I will hear what I've heard before! BOFORE!! *WHACK* BEFORE!!
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music! MUSIEK!! *WHACK WHACK*
And I'll sing once more! *NOT AGAIN! I BEG OF YOU!* *WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK*
Samwise then faints and rolls down the hill.
Frodo then suffers exhaustion and passes out, throwing Gandalf from his back.
"FOOL OF A BAGGINNNSSSSSSSSSS!"
The Once Merry Threesome Of Travelers Tumble Down A Ravine And Are Never Seen Again.....
Thanks to Tigrin, who stayed up late (erm, early) with me and gave me the inspiration to write this.
Like it? Give me a nice review :D. Didn't like it? Bugger off!