Hello Supernatural fandom! I just got into this fandom this year - I know a little slow on the uptake but I never actually got a chance to watch Supernatural on TV (the timeslots never worked out for me, ever) so this year I bought the box set and have almost finished season 7. I was hooked instantly (especially since they play 70's rock - hello greatest era for rock and roll ever!). Anywho this is my first SPN fic so constructive criticism is welcomed! This is also posted on AO3 for anyone who prefers that site.
Okay onto the notes for the story. As said in the summary this will contain possibly upsetting subject matter as it is examining a serious case of autism. Also severe bullying for anyone who may be triggered by that.
A note on Cas's case: If you know somebody with autism and something I've written doesn't fit with their case, don't harass me and tell me I'm wrong; every case of autism is different and there are varying types and severity for each person. I grew up with an autistic boy who went to one of the programs where help them and now he's just like any other kid: he goes to the movies and has a girlfriend etc but sometimes it becomes too much and he retreats into his safe place. So through that and the fact that I'm a psych student, I know a bit about autism. That being said I am taking some creative license so there will be a couple of things that might be a little out of the ordinary but this is fiction so suspend your disbelief please.
Now, please enjoy :)
"Nobody can teach you love. Love you have to find yourself, within your being, by raising your consciousness to higher levels. And when love comes, there is no question of responsibility. You do things because you enjoy doing them for the person you love. You are not obliging the person, you are not even wanting anything in return, not even gratitude. On the contrary, you are grateful that person has allowed you to do something for them. It was your joy, your sheer joy. Love knows nothing of responsibility. It does many things, it is very creative; it shares all that it has, but it is not a responsibility remember. Responsibility is an ugly word compared to love. Love is natural."
It's a hard lesson to learn, really.
How can you tell whether somebody is doing something for you for their own gain or because they truly care and want to help you? How do you know if someone is telling the truth when they say 'I love you' and not just using the words with ulterior motive? How do you know feelings are real and not just born of pity?
Very difficult questions if you're not a mind reader.
Dean Winchester had these very questions answered so easily by a boy who had never said a word in his entire life. Who had never even touched another person voluntarily. All of the hardest questions people ask when it comes to that both wonderful and terrible thing: love. Something Dean hadn't even really been searching for.
But that's the thing isn't it? You don't find love, it finds you. Or rather, it comes crashing through the front door without so much of a 'how do you do' before you're swept up in its whirlwind of emotions and adventures.
That's how Dean would describe his encounter with that pesky little thing.
It was long and very difficult but more satisfying than even a piece of warm apple pie right out of the oven.
That's love, alright, so just let me tell you all about it.