I knew I'd been caught out by the look in his eyes.
I tried to act like nothing had happened, soon going back to finishing the plate of food I had.
Feeling his gaze on me I quickly stood up and excused myself lamely, "I couldn't eat another bite. I'll see you both in the morning, I trust."
I'd just made it out of the dining room doors and a little way away from my room when his body slammed into mine, hands pushing mine against the wall either side of my head as he pinned me there.
My heart was hammering, beating just as quick as his and I was sure he'd be able to hear it through my chest.
His voice was low as he whispered and his eyes were burning, his warm breath was on my lips as he held me there, "why?"
Why. Not how, when or where but why. In that word I understood just how much he really cared, and it drowned me in guilt.
"I couldn't let her go, Fel. I just couldn't. You know I have a better chance of coming home. If it means she gets to live out her last moments at home I'm willing to d-" I began to explain, voice shaking and startling a little when he cut me off.
"Well I'm not. I'm not willing to let you die," he released me from the pressure against the wall and placed his hands either side of my face, gentle compared to the roughness of before.
Suddenly I'm angered, stepping back from his hands and putting my own on my hips, "So you would be okay with letting Finch die?"
He takes a step back too in horror, as if the thought would be too much, which in my case it was, "just because I won the hunger games could not make me so cold hearted, Ember."
He recovered, moving closer towards me, although I held my ground, "Losing Finch would have been awful but now I could lose you both. Em... If they find out not only you get punished but Finch and your father. The Capitol is ruthless."
I freeze, finally understanding what the penalties for my actions could be. My life, Finch's AND my fathers...
"I don't... I didn't... Oh god," I began to shake, bringing my shaking hands to cover my eyes.
He pulled me into his embrace that I'd so missed since last seeing him, and I treasured it gratefully. There wasn't many people like him in the world and I wasn't planning on letting him go.
"It's okay. You're going to come back home. You've just got to promise me you won't do anything outrageous," he murmured softly against the top of my head, where he pressed his lips to my temple.
"Only if you promise me you'll look after my family when I die, " I demanded right back, challenging him to accept.
He lifts my chin up with a finger so I meet his eyes that burn with determination, "Then I can't because I refuse to believe for a second that when I wake up one day you wont be in my world."
I snort still grinning at him, using humour to steer away from anything too deep and personal, "you're stubborn you know that right?"
"Really? Coming from YOU?" he chuckled raising an eyebrow and pointing at me.
"Pfft. Whatever. Besides. Like you could stop me from doing something outrageous anyway," I laugh, pushing back from him as a lone robed figure walked down the hall behind us.
They stopped behind me and I turned to the avox who stood a foot taller than myself, their head was lowered and a tray held in their hands that carried a silver jug, pot and two crystal containers filled with sugar and a brown powder in the other.
"Are you here to take me to my quarters?" I asked quietly, not wanting to sound demanding or like I did not appreciate their effort.
A small nod was given and what I assumed was a she led the way to my door, Felexis and me trailing behind her and occasionally bickering mockingly at times with each other.
It was just as well she was escorting me seeing as I had completely forgot where I was staying anyway.
When we got to the door the avox opened it and held the door back as she waited for me to say farewell to Felexis and walk in.
"Ah so this is where you're staying, I'll keep this in mind," my best friend winked at me, ducking in for a quick kiss on my cheek and walking off down the corridor.
"And I'll keep in mind to lock my door," I smirked after him, holding my hand to my cheek and slipping into the room, the door of which was soon shut behind me.
~Here, a random badly written chappie for you! ;)~