Warning: Little depressing.
I can remember standing by the back gate behind the school. The only blonde who wasn't long gone after the bell signaled our release. I waited for him everyday, and watched silently as he lifted little Posy on his shoulders, and ruffled Rory and Vick's hair. They never noticed me, and I cherished that.
This is what he told me that fateful day little Primrose was reaped. I disguised the hurt on my face, giving back a snide remark. He only commented back. The smirk on his face when I didn't say anything was beautiful – although it wasn't supposed to be. But it was directed – for – me, and I cherished that.
"It should've been you."
I swallowed back the tears that were brimming my eyes, and tried to expand my closing-up throat.
"I know." I only replied, handing over the few coins I had in my dress pocket, while the other hand held the bucket of fresh rosie strawberries.
"No – no, don't give me that – that little 'I know' I don't want an 'I know' you should've done something!" he growls at me, yanking the coins from my outstretched hand.
I only shook my head, giving my final answer. "She was to quick."
His eyes softened, only a little. But they softened, and I cherished that.
The night of the third day of the games, an unexpected visitor came to my door.
"Gale," I say, a little breathlessly I might add. "What – what are you doing here?" I ask, clearing my throat and patting my dress.
He smirks at the action, before looking at me with boredom, "Posy threw her shoes at our TV, can I watch using yours?" he asks me.
My eyes widen, but nod.
"Of course!" I open the door wider, in which he steps inside and takes a seat at the couch I was recently inhabiting. On his way to the fancy couch I herd his long spew of mutterings that went along the line of I being rich.
"Would you like something to eat?" I ask him gently, sitting next to him on the couch.
He didn't even give me a glance, captured at how Katniss roamed the woods, looking for some animal to feast on.
I didn't question further, but instead stared at the TV screen like him.
When Katniss was snuggled deep into the tree's warmth for the night, Gale got up from the couch.
He went straight for the door, opened it, and left. Didn't give me a glance, a look, or a gesture.
Only said a soft, "Thanks." and I knew that was all I would get from him. And I cherished that.
When Katniss kissed Peeta, everyone was shocked. My father, who really never gives off any emotion, was shocked.
I only stared, and felt sad for Peeta. I knew, deep in my heart, Katniss didn't reciprocated his feelings. And we all know, I know the feeling.
He came over in a hurry, only few minutes later when I heard the soft click of my father closing the door to his and my mother's room.
"Gale–" I'm stopped by his coal covered hands grabbing my face, and capturing my lips in a feverish kiss. Any of my questions or comments were swallowed just like my tongue in his mouth. His lips were chapped, and he obviously knew what he was doing.
He took me that night, on the couch. The sound of Katniss and Peeta's wheezing breath of their slumber in the background. He stayed for about five minutes until our breathing was tamed. He picked up his pants, tugged on his shirt, all in a moment of rush. He didn't look at me as he left my house, nor did he say a word.
I stared for awhile, before grabbing my dress from the floor. On it was a nice little tear, and some black streaks of coal.
Although he didn't say anything, this was him, and I cherished that.
I've never felt so embarrassed as the day when I sat down at his table during lunch. All the stormy gray eyes stared at me in confusion as to why my blue orbs sat here.
"Hey Gale," I said, smiling at him.
He nodded and looks at me funny. "Um – not to sound rude or anything – but why are you sitting here?" there was laughter at the table, and my cheeks burned red.
"I just –" anything I was about to say, was cut off by a seam girl – my age no less – planted her bottom on Gale's lap. He wrapped his strong arms around her waist and kissed her full on the mouth possessively – just as he had to me the other night.
When they broke apart, the girls eyes wandered over to me as she played with his hair.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, generally confused, but all the same irritated.
I cleared my throat and stood up, "I'm sorry – I was just going to ask if Gale could maybe not deliver strawberries to my house this weekend – um we're a little busy."
He doesn't look at me as he says, "Sure whatever." He was to busy staring at the girls plump breasts.
"Um, bye Gale," I say quietly. As I walked away from the table, I heard a mumbled 'Bye'. And I cherished that.
"I love you."
It came out without permission. Gale and I were locked in a kiss, with my hands locked around his neck and his wandering. Every time I tried to lower my hands just a bit – he'd break away and roughly say an irritated 'no'.
Then, I had to be stupid, and let those three words out. He pulled away from me, looking deep into my eyes. His lips were red and swollen – no doubt my matched – and his breathing was labored.
"What did you say?" he questioned me, but we both know what I said.
"Nothing– " but he already backed away from me, and started pacing.
"No Madge! You said this I can just let my troubles onto you, no feelings involved." I swallow and looked at his annoyed expression.
"I know, I'm sorry, really I am. It just slipped out." He nodded, before coming back and losing himself in me again.
After, he held me – actually held me – instead of normally getting up and leaving like always. And I cherished that.
When the Quarter Quell was announced, Gale came barreling through the door, and taking me up to my bedroom.
It was a routine, and I know many girls would be offended that someone is using them, and pretending that they are some else in the act of which should be preformed with love. But with Gale Hawthorne, I'd take anything I could get.
So, even though he would moan, and groan and scream Katniss, I pretended he was saying Madge. And even though when he said the words, I love you, and he was really saying them to Katniss, I pretended it was for me. And I cherished that.
And when the bombs fell on District Twelve, I didn't even make a move to leave. I only walked to my mothers room were she was sleeping, and cuddled up into bed with her. I remember everything with Gale, and how unfortunate my situation was. But I cherished it all. Part of me was waiting for Gale to come dashing upstairs, explaining we need to leave during the bombing. But I didn't let my mind linger on that for long. So I laid their with my mother, and excepting my fate. I knew Gale – who was a natural born survivor – would get out.
And I cherished that.
Until I couldn't cherish anymore.
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