Kankri awoke to the sound of his bedroom door closing. His eyes lightly fluttered open and he looked over to his boyfriend stumbling to the bed. He reeked of alcohol and perfume. It was a normal thing now, Cronus would come home from the bar (or wherever it was he went after the bar which was probably some tramps house for some 'fun'), he would stumble into the room, and he would go to bed. Kankri had thought about breaking off the relationship with Cronus, don't get him wrong, he's not an idiot that preaches about how they 'love' each other and how they'll get passed this together. No, Kankri stayed because there was no one else. He had no friends, the only person who he had to talk to was his younger brother Karkat. But he knew Karkat didn't like him, let alone wanted to talk about his relationship problems.
Kankri closed his eyes again, he wanted to go to bed so that he wouldn't have to think about this. He stayed with Cronus so he wouldn't be so alone, but the truth was, being with him made Kankri feel even more alone than he ever had before.
The mornings were never spent with joy for Kankri. He got up at around five in the morning on instinct, he had always been an early riser. Kankri began his day by going into the kitchen and making a pot of coffee. He drank a lot of coffee lately, his brother said it was going to make him even shorter than he already is, but Kankri didn't care. It woke him up and that's all he cared about. He got tired a lot lately, even when he didn't do any physical activities. I must be getting old. That's what he kept saying, although he was only twenty so that wasn't the case. Kankri cleaned up the living room, ridding it of old beer cans and bottles that Cronus had left laying about. The next thing he did was the landry that lay sprawled across the floor of the bedroom and living room. Then he took a shower waking him up a bit more after his coffee. He poured another cup and started on his breakfast. This was his morning routine, he would do this every day so that Cronus wouldn't have a reason to leave. He had a clean house and a warm breakfast, why would he go? But sadly, right when Cronus woke up, he would always leave without a second glance to Kankri. He would come home later and watch TV while drinking beer, then leave again for the bar.
The worst part was that Kankri payed for everything, the apartment, the cable, the beer, all of it. He did it to make Cronus happy, and to give him a reason to come home. It sounded pitiful, but what could he do? He had no friends, no family other than Karkat, and nobody else seemed to care even a little about him. It had to do with the fact that Kankri was really shy, and when he wasn't, he talked non stop. But lately he didn't do much talking, he was depressed and in denial about it. He told himself he was tired, but he was only saying that to make himself feel better.
Kankri sat down at the table, he looked up to see no one. It was normal now, but not something he wanted to get used to. He looked back at his pancake and egg lightly poking the yoke with his fork. He wasn't in the mood to eat, he never was. Yet he still pushed himself to eat the breakfast, although he didn't finish it, he simply ate one egg and half of a pancake.
He scooted out of his chair and took his plate to the sink, he scraped the remains of his breakfast into the garbage and washed his dish. Kankri sighed as he walked to the coat rack and grabbed his coat and keys. He wished he didn't need so many jobs, but Cronus was expensive. He opened his apartment door and headed for his car. He didn't know what to expect about his day, but he was sure something was going to happen. He didn't know weather to be excited or not. He just had a feeling something was about to change. But he had work, he didn't need to be bothered by a feeling at the moment.
When Kankri and Cronus first began going out in high school, Kankri was the most important thing to Cronus. That was five years ago. Five years ago Kankri was happy, him and Cronus were inseparable. When Kankri's parents died in a car accident, Cronus was there to comfort him. When Kankri's best friend and only friend left him and started hanging with a bad crowd, Cronus was there as a shoulder to cry on. But everything was different now. Kankri needed comforting and a shoulder to cry on and it was because of Cronus.
Kankri didn't know what to expect when he walked into his apartment, but this was anything but that. His eyes scanned the ground, Cronus's clothes lay sprawled across the floor once again, but more like he was hurriedly stripping rather than slowly, drunkenly doing it. He followed the trail to his bedroom, at this point he didn't want to open the door and see what was on the other side, but his body reacted on it's own, he opened the door slowly. He put his hand over his mouth in horror to see his boyfriend on top of none other than his ex-best friend, Meulin Leijon.
He ran out of his apartment, he ran and ran. He ran until he couldn't run anymore and then he fell. Kankri fell to his knees in the middle of who-knows-where and the people around him were thinking who-knows-what and nothing mattered anymore! Kankri broke down, he cried. He didn't even know where he was, he didn't know who was looking at him in confusion, all he knew was that he didn't want to do anything anymore. He didn't want to go to work, he didn't want to go home, he didn't want to talk to anyone anymore, he didn't want to cook or clean, he didn't want to eat, he didn't want to live. He was so tired of everything, he couldn't take it anymore.
After a while of sobbing in front of a small coffee shop (he found out just where he was after looking up from the sidewalk), he stood up. No one was around, it was pretty late so he kind of expected it, it was about ten at night. Kankri looked around before spotting a bridge about a block away. It didn't take him long to get to the bridge, when he got there, he looked down. The water looked cold, it was nearing the end of November and it was ten at night. He wondered just how far the bridge must be from the surface of the water. He wondered just how long it would take him to die if he jumped. Only one way to find out I guess...
Before he knew what he was doing, Kankri was on the other side of the guardrail looking down at the water. One thought passed through his mind as he let go of the edge. I wish I could go back...
In high school, he had people that cared about him then, he had a best friend, his parents were alive, and he had a loving boyfriend. But sadly things change, and so do people.