Author's Note: Not many people read this, but I enjoy writing it.

4: City Escape

First Person Shooter, a tall broad man, was walking in the park of the City to pass the time. The trigger happy man didn't have any sort of job at the moment nor some guy to snuff out, so he decided to take a chill and relaxing walk. His army jacket was tied around his waist, separating his white shirt and cargo pants, appropriate for the sunny weather.

Suddenly, he heard somebody running. His hand briefly lowered to his holster, however, he calmed down upon seeing who it was. A dork wearing a red cap, running shoes, and a shirt like Rayman's was running toward him - he knew who that dork was. "Oy! Platformer! How the hell are ya?"

The goofy man ran past him, screaming, "Yo sorry don't have time to talk!"

FPS frowned. His usual speedy demeanor had a tinge of... worry...

Then a storm of bullets hailed from the direction Platformer ran from. Fortunately, none of them hit the running genre. Unfortunately, it was because his equally successful friend shielded him. Platformer could only afford a quick worried look over his shoulder. "Sorry again!"

Several floating robots (shaped like discs, similar to those floating GUN robots from Sonic Adventure) flew over First Person Shooter as he bled into unconsciousness. "...You are all a bunch of crazy chucklefucks..."

Platformer ran through the park as he heard bullets scatter behind him. He jumped over rocks and benches and ordinary NPCs as he tried to distance himself from the robots.

He deeply regrets his actions an hour ago.

Platformer stood at the top of a certain building - as instructed by the person who contacted him. He tapped his foot, resisting the urge to jump around the rooftops of the surrounding buildings.

"Hey, hey, calm down..." a Brooklyn-accented voice called out. Then, climbing up to the rooftop on a ladder, was..

"Hello! Took you long enough, Sandbox!" The man was a bit pudgy, with slick hair and shades, a leather jacket covering him. Platformer flashed him a smile with his cartoony, happy face.

Sandbox grinned back, but there was somewhat of a sinister glint. "Hey pal. Listen, I need you to do a thing for me..." He took Platformer by the shoulder and gently prodded him over to the roof's skylight. "See that down there?"

The capped genre looked down. Below the skylight was a glowing gem atop a pedestal, with some sort of control console next to it. His eyes then darted to the entrance of the grand room - there were lasers guarding the gem. "I see... did somebody take your gem?"

"Sure. A punk stole my gem." Sandbox nodded slowly. "Alright, I want you to wait for me to appear next to those lasers, got it? Then, you drop down and turn them off. Simple?"

"Aye!" Platformer said with a salute.

"Right. Remember, this is a noble cause and I appreciate your help on this..." he briefly chuckled before he bemusement turned into frustration as he started his climb down the ladder again.

Platformer sat down, twiddling his thumbs, looking down the skylight window. Thankfully, he resisted the urge to rush ahead long enough for his associate to show up. Sandbox looked up at him, giving a thumbs up.

With the cry of a wild beast, Platformer jumped up then slammed through the glass. He screeched with joy as he fell and he landed with a pose, completely uninjured by the glass and the fall. He approached the console near the glowing gem ("I wonder how Sandbox lost this," he thought) and then, instead of turning off the lasers, he outright broke the machine with a kick.

"Thanks, pal..." Sandbox ran up to the pedestal and took the jewel off of it; immediately upon lifting it, an alarm sounded. He then fed Platformer an evil sneer, " sucker."

Platformer looked confused. "What's happening? Who's the sucker?"

"You're the sucker, idiot." Sandbox mocked as he pocketed it. "This ain't my gem, you impulsive loon - I can't believe you fell for this!"

"H-hold it right there!" a voice shouted. Down the hall, where the lasers used to be, was a guard NPC. Platformer's heart sunk as he saw his nametag: MUSEUM SECURITY.

"...Oooooohhh." Platformer chuckled a bit to calm himself down. "...I just helped you rob a museum, didn't I?"

"Yeeeep." the sinister man took out an Uzi from his jacket and filled the guard with lead.

Meanwhile, Platformer was standing there, taking in the fact that he was fooled. "...Whoops. Um... come back here, you jerk!" He started to jog after Sandbox, who was shooting his way out of the museum. Upon reaching the lobby, Platformer witnessed Wide Open Sandbox running out the front door, laughing like a maniac. Before he could continue giving chase, more museum security personal stomped down from the upper floor - with weapons pointed at Platformer.

"Hey, that's the guy who helped him steal the gem!"

"Get 'im!"

Platformer responded by jumping through the nearest window.

And so, here we are. Platformer had been running from law enforcement for the past hour or so, with the people chasing him increasing in severity and firepower. It started with ordinary security guards, escalated into police, and now, police robots. The police weren't exactly the reasoning type of people - Platformer sure as hell can't reason with robots, either. Plus, they had a shoot first, ask questions later policy. So, all he could do was run, looking for a place to hide out until Wide Open Sandbox was brought to justice.

Of course, he was still getting chased, so Sandbox is still out in the open.

"Hold still." one of the flying drones behind him said as it shot another round of bullets. Luckily, Platformer was very capable at dodging and was not hit by a single one.

He was now out of the park and in a small commercial district, with cozy home businesses and shopfronts. Platformer could hear police sirens everywhere - however, it appeared that the law was preoccupied with something else at the moment. He jumped on top of a dumpster and used it to boost himself on top of a small bakery. Like a cat in the night, he started to streak around rooftops, trying to gain higher and higher ground - he hoped that he could just jump down onto his pursuers and destroy them.

However, it became obvious to Platformer that he was heading into a trap, as he somehow found himself in a small residential district - filled with police cars. Luckily, the human cops hadn't noticed him yet, but as soon as the robots chasing him started shooting, they would know.

Platformer didn't really like the idea of getting shot.

"Will you guys give up already?" he pleaded with the machines, who answered with more silent chasing. Then, he looked ahead and saw a tall apartment building across the street. If he could get over there, he could hide out in a room until the heat's gone...

That's when he saw it - a car, speeding down the street. He saw two other cars in the distance, with the farthest one with... Interactive Fiction on it? Huh. Weird.

But he now knew what to do.

The car (aka the one that didn't have a screaming thrashing genre on it) started to pass in front of Platformer... "Okay... Here I go!" he jumped off the building, to the frustration of his pursuers, who were just about to shoot him.

"Doo dum dum..." Platformer landed on the front of the second place racer's car. "What the hell?"

"Sorry!" the genre offered briefly before catapulting off the car.

Combined with momentum, the jump, and video game physics, Platformer ascended really high, toward the building. With a cry, he smashed through a window and rolled into the room.

He stood up, looking remarkably pleased with himself. "Yes! Made it!" He laughed happily as he exited the apartment room (which was thankfully unoccupied), ran out into the hall, and into a random room. He then rolled right under a bed.


The perfect escape.

"...Platformer, what are you doing under my bed?" a voice asked.

Author's Note: Where in the world is Wide Open Sandbox? Anyway, terrible writing aside, who is the person at the end of the chapter, for that matter? Find out, eventually!