*giggles* This is my first Gintama fan fict! HijiGin of course! This will be a two-shots.
Warning: Yaoi. It might also be a little OOC since the storyline is a little different than normal Gintama stuff. There are OCs too. And maybe my grammar isn't that great.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.
One Shouldn't Change Clothes When There Are Other People in the Room
He didn't remember how it started anymore. Maybe it was the night after Mitsuba, Sougo's older sister, died. Or maybe it was before that. He wasn't sure anymore. All he knew now was the fact that they both first thought that time would be the first and the last time it would happen. They were both drunk then and wasted. And both were feeling a little depressed and needed some warmth and company.
And yet, that night was repeated, and repeated, and repeated, that now he wasn't sure if it was actually part of his odd jobs now, except Hijikata wasn't paying him any money.
Gintoki sighed as he lay on the mat, staring at the ceiling of the unlit room. The light of the moon shone from the open window so he could see the silhouette of things, but it didn't change the fact that he felt like the darkness was very overwhelming these past few weeks. This room, which wasn't their own, had become their nightly abode.
He felt Hijikata stood up from beside him and walked over to the bathroom but he didn't act like he saw or heard the other man. He continued staring at the ceiling, not even bothering to clean up as well, or at least get dressed. He didn't even blink when the other man quietly left the room, maybe to get back to the Shinsengumi barracks and start the day.
Only when Hijikata's footsteps couldn't be heard anymore did Gintoki closed his tired eyes. "Fucking Mayo-freak…" He didn't know what he would feel anymore.
Almost four times a week, he would receive a text from Hijikata saying they should meet in this very room, a place not quite a motel but not quite a decent place either. He already knew what the other guy wanted even before he set foot in the room and started taking off one another's clothes. He could say it was fun during the first nights. Heck even he was enjoying it to the fullest since the other male was handsome. But lately, he realized it just wasn't as fun anymore.
They never talked. They just immediately lie on the bed and do it. It worked for them both since no one wanted to open up and ask what the hell they were doing with one another. But now, the silence seemed too tensed to him. They were both natural airheads, ones who used their mouths and fists in order to settle things. But it was different here. He now wondered if Hijikata could feel it too. Maybe that asshole was getting tired of all this too…
Hell, how he wanted to cry so much. He thought it was just a game for them both. He thought that Hijikata was using him to take his mind off Mitsuba while he was using Hijikata to get laid. But he made one fucking mistake that he knew would ruin everything. It was uncontrollable. But it was naivety on his part too for he didn't realize it sooner.
He fell in love with the bastard…
And now, the thought of being used as replacement for Hijikata's beloved woman was enough to make him feel as if his very heart was being crushed inside his chest. It was enough to make him feel so awful he wanted to vomit. He felt so sick, so used, and so… so unmistakably… jealous…
He gritted his teeth. How could he feel jealousy when he knew he had no right to..? He knew right from the start that Hijikata loved someone else. He knew right from the start that the guy he was fucking with had no interest in him romantically. He knew right from the start that the raven was only using him because the other male had no choice. And yet… and yet, he still felt so horrible… He wanted so much to hate Hijikata and not answer his calls anymore. He wanted so much to end everything with the other man now. But the mere thought of not seeing Hijikata again was the same as dying. He didn't know what to do…
"Shit… You bastard, what have you done to me..?" He murmured in the darkness as he felt hot tears flowed down to his cheeks. He sobbed quietly in that very room, a view the walls were already used to seeing. He had been doing that for some weeks now, crying to himself after having sex with Hijikata. He wanted so much to end everything now…
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It was a fine morning like always. It had been three days after his last night with Hijikata and he had yet to see the other male since then. Gin was annoyed at the fact that he had to do the strolling for Sadaharu since Kagura and Shinpachi were at Otae's place. The girl wanted him to play with Sadaharu for now and she promised to bring him some parfaits later if he'd do it, resulting to the present situation where Gin was walking in the park leisurely together with the huge dog.
He sighed as he thought of how long he would be able to manage avoiding the other male. He changed his cell phone number so the other male wouldn't be able to call or text him anymore. He even went to some extreme measures of running away when he saw someone with a Shinsengumi uniform or hiding when he heard a voice similar to Hijikata's. He knew he's acting like a coward, which he was definitely not. But just thinking of seeing Hijikata again was enough to make him wish he was in another planet instead. Not that he didn't want to see the man anymore. But he just didn't want Hijikata to think that he was okay with everything… that he was okay as a replacement…
"Danna, why didn't you accept the Odd Jobs that the Shinsengumi asked you to do yesterday?" Gin was surprised and immediately turned around when he heard Sougo's voice. The latter was in uniform, obviously on patrol. The other male blinked in mild surprise at the fact that Gin seemed a little out of it, not that it was unnatural.
"Huh?" Gin looked at the other while his finger kept on digging in his nose. "I accepted it, didn't I? Wasn't it already done?"
"Yes, it was. But only China girl and Megane were there. You didn't show up, not even once just to check up on them." Sougo walked beside him leisurely as Gin started walking again.
"Huh, is that so..?" He appeared lazy outside but he was actually thinking of some valid alibi. "Well, I remembered I was running out of parfaits at the time so I had to go to several grocery stores and buy some." If Sougo noticed the obvious lie, he didn't look like it.
"Well, bastard Hijikata has another job for the Yorozuya so…" His eyes narrowed when he felt the older male stiffened beside him. "Danna, did you and Hijikata asshole fight or something? You should just kill him or incinerate him. I can help you with that." He gave an encouraging smile to Gin as if he wasn't just plotting his superior's death.
Gin chuckled. "Nah, it's nothing like that, Souichiro."
"It's Sougo." The younger male corrected with a straight face. "So… are you going to accept it?"
"Well, yes, of course." Gin wore his lazy mode on again as he tugged at Sadaharu's leash when the latter seemed to have stopped walking. "I'll send Kagura and Shinpachi later to–"
"The job is specifically for you though." Sougo grinned evilly when he seemed to have realized something. "Danna, are you avoiding bastard Hijikata asshole?"
"Ha?! No!" Even to Gin, his voice sounded so defensive that he knew Sougo's evil grin widened even more.
"Then you better go to the barracks later." Sougo said before his smile vanished a little. "You don't have to make China girl and Megane come since it'll be a very dangerous job that only you can do." Gin stopped at that and looked at Sougo's serious face. If even the sadistic bastard wasn't smiling, then he shuddered to think how dangerous the job really was. Not to mention he would see Hijikata again… Hopefully, there wouldn't be any time for them to actually talk privately.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Danna, are you sure you can do this?" Yamazaki's concerned voice made Gin smile before he nodded. He was just briefed by Kondou on the infiltration mission in a Joui ship and he kept his gaze directly at the gorilla lest he wanted to look at the man beside the Commander, the man whom he kept on ignoring for a while now. Not that Hijikata was making any move to be noticed. The demon Vice Commander just appeared like his usual self, uncaring and cold.
Gin realized with annoyance that Hijikata was always like that, part of their non-verbal agreement that no one knew of their indecent relationship.
"Sakata, this will be really dangerous. You can back out if you want." Kondou warned one more time. "There's a reason why we Shinsegumi can't do it, you know. It's because some high officials are behind this. Only you are capable of this mission without getting killed."
"Leave it to me. The Yorozuya always gets the job done." He said with pride and that earned him some snickers. They all knew that the Yorozuya always messed things up more than solving them.
"Don't worry, Danna. If you died, I'll make sure to take care of your two offspring." Sougo said with a serious face and Gin wanted to punch him so badly for jinxing the mission if it weren't for the fact that he also felt he might not make it out of there alive anymore. So instead of answering in retort, he only smiled and nodded, which surprised Sougo and the others a lot.
After that, he left the place and went back home for the night. Kagura and Shinpachi were already both there, having dinner when he arrived. He actually patted both their heads, something he rarely did, before he went straight to his room, leaving the two youngsters in surprise and confusion.
"Gin-chan, aren't you going to eat anything?" Kagura asked from the kitchen while Shinpachi already thought that something was a bit odd with their boss.
"Nah, I just ate outside." Gin answered from his room.
"I bought you some parfaits though. Well, if you don't want–" Kagura hadn't even managed to finish her sentence when the parfait in her hand was stolen by a quick silver-haired man.
"Thanks." Before they knew it, Gin was already inside his room once again.
"What's wrong with him?" Shinpachi asked and Kagura only shrugged, thinking her Gin-chan might be having a stomachache. She would buy him some more parfaits tomorrow to make him feel better.
Gin, on the other hand, already prepared everything that he would need. He looked at his closet for a while, deep in thought, before he opened it and brought out a long wooden box. He never thought he'd be using this again… Far from the Shinsengumi's assumption, he didn't accept the job just because of the hefty amount of money he would get in return, if he would ever return. It was because of the fact that a friend from a long time ago was involved in this job… And he knew that he wouldn't win against that guy if he would remain his normal fish-eyed, lazy, and bum self. He pulled the string sealing the box and he took off the lid, revealing a daunting katana filled with intense bloodlust. It was his katana… it was his identity back then…
Tomorrow, he'd need that identity once again. He'd need to be the Shiroyasha again if he wanted to be on par with that man. He needed to get ready and face his dark past once and for all…
Afterwards, he lay on his back while looking at the ceiling. He knew that the time earlier might already be the last time he'd see Hijikata again, and yet they didn't even exchange more than ten words. The mayo-freak was the one who opened the gate when he knocked on the barracks. But the guy didn't even look happy to see him. In fact, Hijikata looked kind of disappointed for some reason. But more than that, he appeared colder and more detached than usual. The guy merely asked Gin to come inside and nothing was exchanged between them after that. It was saddening and at the same time disappointing. Or maybe Hijikata was angry that he's not answering the calls, if there were any?
Gin closed his eyes as he thought of him. He would need to face him tomorrow, and hopefully his cover wouldn't be blown right away. He didn't tell the Shinsengumi that the Leader of the rebels this time was actually another friend of his. They were already aware of his former relationship with Katsura and they were suspecting he also had a relationship with Takasugi. But none of them knew that they also have another companion back then, Touma Murasame. They told him to stay put and don't stand out no matter what happened. But they didn't know that he'd stand out there no matter how he tried not to. He accepted the job fully knowing that. He wanted, no, needed, to fight Touma.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The ship was bigger in actuality than in pictures that Sougo drew for him. He was now part of the new recruits that the Joui invited inside the ship and he knew he would definitely stand out if he wore his normal clothes so he was wearing what the Joui members usually wore. He also dyed his hair black because his silver perms would definitely be so prominent in the crowd. He also appeared sharper and deadlier so no one dared talk to him at all.
They all entered the ship from the gangway and everyone was so excited to change the world while Gin could only yawn in boredom. He remembered having breakfast with Kagura and Shinpachi earlier but he didn't have the gall to say goodbye to them. His only consolation was the fact that he had to return to them soon… and alive.
The multitude of people quieted down when the ship started to slowly propel upward into the sky.
"Gentlemen, I welcome you all in this ship!" A guy from a balcony overlooking everyone spoke and caught everyone's attention. "Let's do our best to overthrow the corrupt government and start anew using our own power!" Everyone cheered in excitement while Gin kept on looking at all the people on the balcony. The guy who just spoke was someone he had never seen before. But the guy beside him was definitely him.
"Touma, what happened to you..?" He thought sadly when he saw the man looking at everyone with apparent boredom on his features. The Touma Gin knew wasn't the type to talk much, but this Touma was colder than even Hijikata. The silver-haired man immediately shook his head to erase his flow of thought when he realized he's thinking about that mayo-freak again. He needed to concentrate on Touma this time.
He absentmindedly touched the earring on his left ear. It was still sore because it was just pierced yesterday. But he needed a device in order to send news to the Shinsengumi. It served as a one-way video cam so the Shinsengumi could see and hear his reports, not to mention what's been happening in the place, while he could only hear and see nothing but silence on the other end. It was programmed so it was seeing and hearing whatever he was seeing and hearing at the moment.
The speech went on for some minutes more but Gin wasn't listening anymore since all those things were being sent directly to the Shinsengumi anyway. Well, this job wasn't really that dangerous so to speak. But seeing that Gin was known to make everything way too complicated, the Shinsengumi was just worried that he'd be caught. Little did they know that he'd definitely get caught if Touma saw him.
He knew that Touma was a stubborn guy and talking wouldn't make him change his mind at all. He's more like Takasugi in that way more than Katsura. That's why it's necessary to fight the man to at least know what he was thinking. He wanted to understand Touma's reason first, before he'd beat the hell out of the man. After all, they shared more than just friendship in the past. They shared much more than what he and Hijikata were sharing now.
Seeing Touma now made him remember all his past mistakes and suffering, all the people he killed, all the things they shared, and all the things that he knew he would never have again. He gripped the handle of his katana tightly and it somehow felt so cold and heavy on his side, not having been used for some years now.
After some more minutes, they were already allowed to leave the premise and go to their respective rooms. It was communal and at least ten to fifteen Joui members shared it so there was no privacy at all. Gin was just thankful the Shinsengumi wasn't so idiotic as he thought they were. They made sure that the investigation would be thorough regardless of whether Gin talked and reported or not.
The first night went uneventfully and he realized he couldn't sleep while there were many men snoring just beside his ears. He tried to tolerate the loud snores but he couldn't. Hijikata was a quiet sleeper so he had no problem sleeping with the other male beside him at all. And now he realized he's thinking about the demon vice commander again… He sighed as he stood up and left the room quietly.
He walked some quiet hallways before he reached a huge room that looked like a lobby. He sat on one of the couches ang sighed, thinking of sleeping there and then. But the immediate presence of someone coming closer and closer alerted him a lot. He knew that there might be hidden cameras in the area so it wouldn't be wise to act suspiciously. So instead of hiding like he would normally do in this kind of situation, he actually sat comfortably and waited for whoever was coming.
Luck didn't seem to like him much though since the very person who appeared from the hallway was none other than the speaker earlier followed by Touma himself. They were talking in hushed tones and were both surprised to find him sitting comfortably on the couch.
"My, my. And what might you be doing here in this time of the night, new recruit?" The first of the males asked Gin and he reeled for some answer for a while.
Sine he was his old self though, he wasn't as stupid in answering. "I couldn't sleep in the room since there was too much noise so I decided to sleep here instead." He smiled as he stood up.
The male was about to berate him for actually wandering without permission but Touma's voice stopped the other male. "It's okay, Katsuragi." Touma then looked at Gin with furrowed eyebrows before he spoke. "You may sleep here just this night."
"Thank you." Gin bowed a little in gratitude just as Touma and Katsuragi walked passed him. To his surprise, however, Touma stopped just in front of him and looked at him curiously.
"Have we met before?" Touma's sharp amber eyes stared into his own crimson ones and he couldn't help but feel the once lost connection between them.
"No, I believe not." Gin merely smiled and bowed again. Touma shrugged and continued walking then.
He sighed in relief when the two males were already gone. He sat on the couch again and shifted a little so he could sleep more comfortably.
The next day was just like any other day for the Jouis. But Gin knew that he needed to infiltrate every part of the ship if necessary to investigate about the officials involved in the rebels' activities. For the most part, he remained where the others were. But there were times when he would slip away and sneak in some rooms without trying to appear suspicious. He made it seem like he was just curious some times and some other times he was just lost. It was hard to do since he wasn't good at those kinds of things. He was used to just attacking head-on and fighting all-out. But circumstances were different today and he knew he had to be as discrete in his actions as possible.
The night came and all of them were briefed about the upcoming battle with the Shinsengumi one week from now. Gin's attention perked up at that and he couldn't help but listen all the way, especially since Touma was the one giving out the instructions this time.
The next three days were also filled with the same routine for Gin. He discovered some rooms filled with bombs and guns while he saw some rooms filled with civilian hostages. He wanted so much to free them all but he knew that they would have nowhere to run if ever he would do so, seeing that they were some thousands of feet above the ground. He was also aware now of the different plans they have, not to mention all the things there was to know about the rebellion. But he has one more problem. His infiltration mission should basically be over by now but he had nowhere to run.
He sighed and yawned as he went back to the packed room and wait for their attack. There was a government spy caught earlier and Gin was glad he didn't know the guy or he would've immediately rescued him, knowing full well what would happen to the guy. But acting suspiciously now that the guard was higher than usual would definitely give him away.
He opened his room expecting to see his annoying samurai roommates chatting to one another. But what he saw inside made him realize he wasn't as discrete as he thought he was.
"I knew it was you the moment I saw you, Gin." Touma's voice was cold, but it was also affectionate. His gun was pointing at Gin's forehead, as well as the guns of the other ten men in the room.
Gin sighed again before he raised his hand up high in the air in surrender. "I didn't think you'd recognize me with my new get-up, Touma."
"I'll have to admit I like Shiroyasha better than Kuroyasha. Not to mention I like the Shiroyasha better than one sneaky rat trying to sniff some food in my ship." Touma smiled a little, one that wasn't warm at all but cool and calculating. He watched in silence as the men tied Gin's hands behind him tightly.
Gin chuckled before he was led by the men. He's doomed. No one would rescue him here and he didn't expect anyone to, especially not Hijikata. Touma was very strong, stronger than most of his childhood friends and most certainly stronger than even Takasugi. That's why he needed to become the Shiroyasha once again if he wanted to defeat this man.
The men shackled him on the wall and he couldn't help but feel trapped with nowhere else to go. It seemed Touma's analogy about him being a rat wasn't that far off from reality. He was standing with his arms spread out on his either side and chained to the wall. His feet were also apart from one another, chained without allowing even a little movement.
"Welcome to the torture chamber, Gin." Touma said when he appeared from the doorway. Katsuragi was together with him and the man was spouting annoying words about spies and their lowly tactics.
"I feel very welcomed." He grinned just as the warm hands of his previous lover caressed his cheek.
"I didn't think I'd see you again, Gin, after you left me." The statement was harsh and accusing, and Touma's grip on Gin's jaw tightened considerably, making the latter hissed in pain. "You were my beautiful lover then. You were mine alone. But look at you now, reduced to some spy, nothing but a sacrificial pawn awaiting nothing but death."
"It's still better than–" The harsh kiss that Gin received from Touma silenced him and all the other men inside the room. The raven only pulled away when he finished biting Gin's lower lip harshly. It swelled and bled, and Gin remembered how Touma used to do that back then too.
With a snap of the raven's fingers, a pail of water was poured over to Gin, making his hair lose the temporary dye that he put on before the mission. The silver-haired man gasped from sudden drowning feeling and Touma smirked at that. His hair returned to its usual silver color and the sleek strands covered his forehead and cheeks. His hair appeared thinner and straighter now that it was wet.
"Murasame-san!" A Joui member suddenly opened the door with a loud bang and all of the room's occupants immediately looked at the frantic man. "There are Shinsengumi ships surrounding us!"
That's it for chapter one! I hope you enjoyed that! ˆoˆ
(I've edited this, by the way, since I got Shinpachi's name wrong.. haha. Thanks for pointing that out.)