ch. 1 Rewrite
It was a beautiful night in the forests of fire country. The pale moonlight illuminated the darkness and gave the area a serene air about it. A serene air that was destroyed when the sound of a tree crashing to the ground rang through the forest and scared the wild life half to death.
"DAMN IT!" A tall muscular man with dark skin and blond hair screamed as he punched another tree, sending it crashing to the ground. Another dark skinned man watched from a few feet away, lazily leaning against another tree.
"We almost went to war and for what? A god damn corpse with nothing of value."
"I told you that you need to stop playing the villain. You need to be more like me and start with the chillin."
"Damn it Bee, I'm not in the mood for your ridiculous rhyming! You saw it didn't you? The old man's eyes weren't the eyes of a shinobi past his prime... They had fire in them. The same fire that the fourth had."
As the man recalled the events that transpired earlier that night he broke out in a cold sweat.
"Are you actually afraid? The only time I've seen you sweat like that is when you're with a dame."
"Bee, do you have any idea who the other people in the room were when we received the body of our ambassadors murderer?"
"I've never been one to tell lies. I was checking out the female in the corner with the tattoos under her eyes."
"That was the head of the Inuzuka clan. The head of every single clan in the leaf village minus the Hyuga was in that room with us. They weren't the only ones... The man with the mask who stood next to the hokage is Kakashi of the sharingan. Even though he isn't an Uchiha, he's said to be even more proficient in it than some pure blooded members of the clan. He's also the last living student of the fourth hokage. If the three legendary sannin weren't off doing whatever it is they're doing in the world, we probably would have seen them there too."
"What are you getting at? You defeat ninja of their caliber at the drop of a hat."
"One on one I have no doubts that I could beat every single person in that room. Two or three of them at the same time? Even that wouldn't be enough to stop me. Four or more? That starts to be more of an obstacle. All of them at the same time? No one short of my father could handle odds like that... I've done everything I can to be just like him, even pursuing rare bloodlines just as he did, but what use is power if you find yourself with enemies around every corner? My father was invincible and even he couldn't fight forever. If we had gone to war with the leaf village over this, then every single minor village we antagonized over the years would rush to their aid. Soon after that the other great villages would probably join them as well. It would be us against the world and the world would win. Even with two perfect jinchuriki on our side we would be overwhelmed by the combined power of the other villages."
"You're letting your ego take a big hit. It wasn't your idea to start this shit."
"It may not have been my idea to try and steal the byakugan but I honestly can't say that I wouldn't have tried if I hadn't been busy judging the chunin exams. Though I can tell you with certainty that if I had it wouldn't have been such a disgusting plan. Kidnapping a little girl on her birthday... Disgraceful. They should have tried to bribe a disgruntled branch member or something. "
"I've made a decision. No more of this antagonistic behavior toward the other villages. We were lucky that this whole situation didn't blow up in our face. Perhaps we can smooth over our relationships with the other villages in time."
"Dibs on smoothing over relations with the mist village!"
"If our intel is right then the next Mizukage is most likely going to be a woman named Mei Terumi. She's supposed to be a smoking hot bombshell with real nice boobies."
"NO! Now let's head home before I put you in the iron claw and drag you there."
The two men went on their way, blissfully unaware that they were about to have a chance encounter that would change their lives.
Not far from their current location was a cave that led down into an expansive underground tunnel system. In the depths of these tunnels was a laboratory where an experiment was currently being performed. A young blond boy with whisker marks on his face was strapped to a table, unconscious and unaware of his current situation. Standing over him was a pale man with evil eyes and a despicable smile.
"Let's begin." The pale man ordered. He laid down on another table next to the boy and a young red haired girl stood in between the tables.
"Remember, keep the boys consciousness away from the nine tailed fox while I'm negotiating with it."
"I know my damn role, so shut your damn mouth, Orochimaru."
The young red head took one of Orochimaru's hands in hers and did the same for the young boy. The older man fell into a deep sleep the same as the boy.
"Success." Orochimaru noted as he stared into the eyes of one of the most powerful creatures in the world.
"You... I know you." The beast said from behind it's cage.
"I see my reputation precedes me." Orochimaru bowed respectfully.
"You are Orochimaru of the sannin. Once comrade to Jiraiya and Tsunade, and the jailer of my jailer."
"I beg you not to take it personally great fox. It was not my intention to make you a prisoner two fold. My goal is instead to offer you a truce."
"A truce? Let me guess, you want me to not interfere when you use your disgusting technique to take over this boys body, in exchange for you setting me free when you are done with him?"
"You are wise indeed great fox. When the boy has matured I wish to become him and I can only do that if you permit it. In exchange, when the time comes for me to find a new host I will set you free.
"Begone from my sight you filthy creature. That leaves a period of three years that I will be forced to share a body with you. I won't be used as a tool for the petty conflicts of man anymore. Least of all one as short sighted and disgusting as you."
"You wound me great fox! I only wish to ally myself with you as we have a common enemy. The leaf village has kept you imprisoned for generations. Surely you wish for vengeance?"
"An ally you say? If you truly wish to be my ally then do one thing for me."
"Whatever you wish, great fox."
"Say my name."
"You wish to be my ally right? The least you can do for an ally is learn his name. Did you even attempt to research my name before you contacted me?"
"I... I never came across a name in my research."
"Really? Not even in the valley where I was heralded as a god by the local farmers? Did you even know about that? Did you care about what I once was or only about what I could do for you? Keep your truce. This boy may be weak but he is a better container than you. He cared enough to ask me my name."
Orochimaru was suddenly grabbed by the throat by a tendril of pure chakra. It lifted him off the ground while choking him.
"For the record human, my name is Kurama. If you survive this, then remember it."
Elsewhere in the young boys mind, the young girl from before was keeping the boys consciousness isolated as ordered. This manifested as a small cage that the boy barely fit in.
"How could you do this to your own family?" The young boy questioned through teary eyes.
"Just because we share the same name doesn't make us family. A disgrace like you that wasn't even born with red hair doesn't deserve to call yourself an Uzumaki."
"You don't deserve to call yourself a human being!"
"Whatever lame ass. Just be a good boy and wait for Orochimaru to be done."
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" A deafening scream of pain rang through the boy's mind making the red haired girl jump from the shock.
"That was Orochimaru! What the fuck happened?" The foul mouthed girl questioned.
"I don't know but" The young boy said as his body started glowing red. "It feels good!" He yelled triumphantly as he found the strength to break free of the girls mental bonds.
"No fucking way!" The girl tried to sever the connection between their minds but she wasn't fast enough as the boy lunged at her and delivered a devastating punch.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" The boy yelled as he punched her with all his might.
The force was enough to send her back to her own mind and body and she even flinched as if she had actually been hit in the real world.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Orochimaru screamed as his body burned with an unnatural crimson fire.
"Shit!" The girl yelled as she grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher. Before she could use it to put her master out, it was snatched away from her by the now awake young boy, his body now covered in a red aura of pure chakra that gave him the strength to break his bonds.
"Naruto wait!" The girls plea fell on deaf ears as Naruto swung the invaluable piece of safety equipment right into her stomach.
"NOW GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" A sickening crack told Naruto that he broke some of the girls ribs with his swing. He looked down at her for a second with pity in his eyes.
"I'm sorry Tayuya." Naruto threw the now dented fire extinguisher across the room before making a beeline for the door and jumping through it splintering the wood into a million pieces.
"Do me a favor and don't try something like that again. Your body can barely handle the paltry amount of chakra I'm pumping into you as it is. If you compound that with idiotic stunts then I can't guarantee that you'll last long enough to get us out of here."
"I'm sorry Kurama."
"Don't apologize just DODGE TO THE LEFT NOW!"
Naruto quickly did as ordered and dodged a tranquilizer dart that otherwise would have hit him spot on and possibly knocked him out.
"Run through him! He's not a true threat!"
Naruto lunged at the guard and knocked him out of the way with a drop kick. His head hit the wall and he was knocked out easily.
"This base is infested with weaklings! Orochimaru overestimated himself and the allure of his offer. He didn't post extra guards in case we escaped. His arrogance is only matched by the Uchiha bastards!"
Naruto ignored Kurama's boasting and quickly found the exit. He didn't understand how but Naruto somehow knew where everyone in the base was and was able to take detours and shortcuts out of the way of any guards aside from the first one. When they reached the exit of the cave Naruto jumped for joy and threw his fist into the air before landing and continuing to run as fast as he could.
"Don't celebrate just yet. We have to get to the leaf village as soon as possible. I have no idea how long Orochimaru will stay burning. I doubt a man such as him would die from such a simple thing as flames, even if they are powered by me."
"Hold it! There are three super strong guys heading this way! Should we go ask them for help?"
"You're right, we should go talk to them. I have a feeling two of them will be willing to help considering who they are."
"What do you mean, Kurama?"
"You and I aren't the only two forced into a relationship like this. I'll explain more when we get to them."
As Naruto and Kurama rushed to the side of the mystery trio, Orochimaru finally mustered the power to save himself by shedding his skin like a snake. He stared at the burning mound of what used to be his own flesh as his rage started to bubble up from within him.
"That god damn fox made a fool of me... NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OF ME!" He screamed as he ran toward the cave exit hoping to find the boy captured by one of his guards. He would have stopped to kill the guard that Naruto had knocked out during his escape but he was more preoccupied with finding the boy before he got away. He had no idea how fast the boy could travel with the aid of the fox's chakra and Naruto had a head start. Lucky for Orochimaru he found Naruto's tracks quick as the boy made no attempt at hiding them. Orochimaru ran the fastest that he had run in a long time to catch up to the boy.
Within minutes Naruto was closing in on the trio he was chasing. He was close enough that he thought he could yell to them but he was suddenly grabbed around the waist by a white snake. Another white snake roped itself around his mouth effectively gagging him.
"You gave me quite the shock when you burned me Kurama. I expected you to accept my offer instantly... I didn't think you would have such a strong connection to this boy considering what you did to his parents. No matter. Even if I can't take over the boy's body, I still have uses for one of the last Uzumaki. I noticed that you were able to slip by the majority of my guards undetected. It seems my theory about you inheriting powerful sensory abilities was spot on."
"Naruto, We're close to help! Try to get the snake out of your mouth so you can yell!"
Naruto started biting into the snake covering his mouth as Orochimaru unceremoniously started dragging him through the forest by his leg. The snake tried to hold on but Naruto managed to chew all the way through it very quickly and he yelled as loud as he could.
"HELP ME!" He screamed before Orochimaru turned around and stepped on the boys head.
"There is no help! Now shut your mouth and come quietly!"
Not far from the current situation, A and Bee stopped when they heard a faint voice back in the direction they came.
"Did you just hear something Bee?"
"It wasn't very loud, but whatever it was I think we should check it out."
Orochimaru continued to grind Naruto's tiny head into the ground but he had to stop and jump out of the way when a bolt of lighting came out of nowhere and almost hit him dead center.
"What now?" Orochimaru growled.
Into view walked A and Bee and Orochimaru's eyes went wide with shock.
"The raikage and the jinchuriki of the eight tails? Why in the world are they here? Wait... The situation with the failed kidnapping of the Hyuga heiress! The raikage must have chosen to come deal with the fallout himself. Damn it, if they realize who Naruto is they'll take him for themselves."
"What's going on here?" The raikage questioned. Bee answered as he flipped through a small book.
"We've got an S-rank criminal over here! If we take this guy back to the leaf village, our relationship with them will be in the clear!"
"Orochimaru of the sannin with a heart ice cold! It says right here that he's worth my weight in gold!"
"What in the world is he rhyming for?" Orochimaru thought.
"This guy is so cool! He says everything in rhyme!" Naruto thought. Inside his mind, Kurama slammed his head into the bars of his cage.
"Is this really your partner Gyuki? At least mine has the excuse of being a little kid."
Suddenly Naruto was set free when Bee cut the snake that was holding him with a small sword. Bee offered Naruto his hand and as soon as the two touched Naruto understood what Kurama meant earlier.
"You! You're just like me! You have an animal friend inside you too!"
"Bro, this kid is a jinchuriki!" Bee yelled, too surprised to rhyme for once.
"What?!" The raikage yelled in surprise.
Orochimaru looked back and forth between the two men. He knew he was no match for the two of them at the same time. One on one maybe, but the two men were known as one of the deadliest duos in the world. Orochimaru weighed his options carefully. He could quickly slip away while they were preoccupied with the boy or he could stay and fight for his prize. Orochimaru was never one for gambling unlike a certain ex-teammate of his so he decided to cut his losses and leave. The loss of the boy wasn't devastating anyway. He had other Uzumaki and the nine tailed fox wasn't willing to cooperate like he originally thought it would. Orochimaru backed up against a tree and his body almost melted into it and he disappeared from sight.
"What the hell?" The raikage said as he watched Orochimaru disappear. He ran over and destroyed the tree with a mighty punch but it was in vain. He stayed on guard for a few seconds but Naruto put him at ease.
"Don't worry, he's long gone. I can tell." Naruto said happily.
"You... You can sense his chakra?"
"I guess so... I've always just been able to tell where people are by concentrating. I can even tell how they feel sometimes."
"Those are impressive skills kid. What's your name and how old are you?"
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'm seven years old sir."
"Uzumaki?... Bee come here for a second." A motioned for his brother to come over and he did. The two huddled together.
"He's the jinchuriki of the nine tails, isn't he?"
"The last jinchuriki of the nine tails was an Uzumaki too, wasn't she?"
"The same girl that my father tried to kidnap from the leaf village, right?"
"That means this kid is most likely that woman's son, right?"
"We may not be able to bring them the criminal Orochimaru, but if we bring them back their jinchuriki then it would go a long way to repairing our relationship with the leaf."
"Yeah, let's take him home. Maybe afterward, I can find that sexy Inuzuka woman and throw her my bone."
"Umm..." A and Bee were surprised when they heard Naruto speak up.
"What is it kid?" A asked.
"This guy over here is like me, right?"
"Yep, I'm the container of number eight. I got so much power, that all the villains hate!"
"Could you... Train me?"
"Come again?" The raikage asked.
"I want you to train me! Kurama says that if I want to be strong then I should follow you and train to master his power like you did for Gyuki."
"... We aren't from your village kid. If you come with us that means you can't go back to your old village anymore."
"Kurama already explained that to me. Look I... I never want someone like that guy to hurt me ever again! Even if it means that I can't see the old man hokage anymore, or my friend who buys me ramen, I have to become stronger. Please!" Naruto dropped to his knees and started crying. A and Bee were stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"Listen kid, our villages aren't on good terms right now. They'll get even madder at us when they find out we took you with us instead of returning you."
"Please! You're my best chance to become stronger! I'll tell them that it was my idea, just please take me with you!" Naruto continued to sob. Eventually the raikage got tired of it.
"God damn it fine!" He picked up Naruto and slung him over his shoulder.
"Don't get comfortable over there kid! If I have to, I'll ship you back to the leaf village in a heartbeat if it means avoiding a war!"
The war never came. When news reached the leaf village that their jinchuriki was alive and well in the cloud village many of the more militant minded shinobi demanded that he be returned. The hokage might have been persuaded by these voices had it not been for the input of one of his students.
"Did you see the boy? The hokage asked his student, the legendary Jiraiya of the sannin who had just come back from an unexpected and unknown visit to the cloud village.
"Yeah... He's started living with the jinchuriki of the two tails. She's a pretty young thing with good maternal instincts. She treats him like her own son."
"Did you make yourself known to him?"
"No, and sensei... I have no intention of going back for him."
"What? Explain yourself Jiraiya."
"Here he was treated as a pariah for his connection to the nine tailed fox. In the cloud village, the exploits of Killer Bee and Yugito Nii have lessened the negative image the populace has of jinchuriki, even if only a little. The cloud village is honestly the best place for him right now."
"You would put your godsons needs over the village?"
"Yes I would and I know you feel the same way I do even if you can't admit it. Tell the elders that you ordered me to retrieve the boy and I refused. They won't have the guts to do anything about it. I'm still the greatest spy in the village and they still need me."
"Very well Jiraiya. I will defer to your judgement on this matter. What will you do now?"
"... I'm going to fix the mistake you made all those years ago. I'm going to find Orochimaru and end him."
Unaware of the conversation about him taking place a world away, Naruto was currently trying and failing to perform his first jutsu. The clone jutsu was one of the most basic jutsu in the ninja world. Why then could Naruto not perform it? He was interrupted when a familiar face came, bearing gifts.
"YO!" Killer Bee yelled from afar, holding a pair of scrolls in each hand.
"I brought some scrolls that belonged to your clan. Use them to make your ninja style a bit less bland."
"Thank's bee sensei!" Naruto grabbed one of the scrolls and opened it. He stared at it intensely for a few seconds before hanging his head in shame.
"I forgot that I can't read."
"It's cool little brother. Reading for you won't be a bother." Bee took the scroll from Naruto and began reading it for him.
"Shadow clone jutsu?"
Author's Note: I hope that you all find this rewrite satisfactory. I added in a lot more interactions with the raikage and Killer Bee and I even made Bee do a lot more rhyming. Tayuya being an Uzumaki was a revelation that originally came much later in the story but fuck it. Writing a character that cusses a lot is fun for me so I put her in. I'll probably rewrite the next few chapters as well before jumping ahead to rewrite a later arc that I'm not satisfied with (I don't want to spoil new readers so that's all I'll say about that). Anyway, it's almost three in the morning as I'm writing this so good night everybody. As always review and flame and all that good stuff.