Sorry for the delay, here's a short chapter! :) Read and review please!
At about noon the next morning, Dr. House barged into his office, interrupting the conversation going on between his team.
"There you are!" Cameron exclaimed. "We were beginning to think that you wouldn't show up today,"
"That wouldn't be a surprise." muttered Taub as he sipped his coffee.
House frowned. "What's got your panties in a bunch? I'm here now, aren't I?" He went over to his desk and put his bag down.
"Why were you late?" Kutner asked.
House chuckled. "Well. There are many reasons...one of them being that Wilson's a cuddler."
"I said, Wilson's a cuddler. You wanna know what else Wilson is? A scratcher."
He enjoyed seeing the blushes seep into the cheeks of everyone in the room. Still, Kutner frowned.
"What do you mean he's a scratcher?"
"Kutner, please, not now," Thirteen mumbled, holding her head in her hands. House's grin intensified.
"I mean, Wilson's a scratcher. And he needs to trim his nails. No really, look!" House lifted the back of his shirt up, revealing shallow red marks all around his back. Nail marks, definitely nail marks. His team cringe.
"That must hurt," Park remarked, standing up to poke at the marks.
"Hey!" House exclaimed, pulling his shirt down and turning to look at her. "No touching, it hurts!"
"Is that what Wilson likes to do?" Cameron smirked. "Scratch?"
House cocked his head and hummed. "Nope," he said, popping the 'p' at the end. "He likes to do other things, like-"
"Is that why you're late?" Taub asked, interrupting. "Your little...how do you say, 'session'?
"It wasn't a session, thank you very much for your contributions, Dr. Nose. Enough. Do we have a case?"
"37 year old male, admitted this morning for chest pains and excessive sweating. We already checked if he had had a possible heart attack, but the results were negative," Thirteen said as she ruffed through the papers on the desk.
"Tell him to lay off on the fries and burgers. Next?"
"25 year old female, symptoms include fever, sore throat, rash on her back and stomach, reoccurring cold for the past 3 weeks. Maybe Lupus?" asked Foreman.
"It's not Lupus, it's never Lupus. These are all boring, I'm not some regular doctor, I'm a diagnostician for God's sake! Find me interesting cases, now!"
"Well maybe you should ask Cuddy," Chase spoke up for the first time. "She's the one giving you all your cases."
House smiled. "Oh, no. We won't be seeing a lot of Cuddy today. She isn't coming."
"Why not? What did you do to her?"
"Nothing," he scoffed. "She's babysitting Emily and Levy today. She was off from work today anyway, so you know, she offered to take care of them for a day. How hard could it be?"
"Why didn't you ask me to take care of the twins?!" Thirteen asked, a hurtful expression clear on her face.
"You have work to do, you can't possible take care of two kids while you hunt for my next patient. Off you go, all of you!"
The ducklings reluctantly stood up and walked out, in search for a case to bring back to House. House sat back in his chair and thought about calling Cuddy to check up on the twins...but no. He promised Wilson he wouldn't be overprotective...it's just a few hours, what could go wrong? Besides, he could decide to randomly check on them during the day.
Satisfied with his decision, he leaned back on the chair and suddenly cringed.
Wilson definitely needs to trim his nails.
"Where's House?!"Cuddy screamed as she barged in the office. The team were gathered around the desk, analyzing the results of a recent MRI scan of their new patient.
Cuddy's hair was completely disheveled; her clothes were wrinkly and there were multiple food stains on her blouse, she looked tired and worn out. On one hip sat baby Emily and on the other, sat Levy. Both babies were crying and obviously trying to pry themselves away from Cuddy.
The piercing cries of the twins brought Wilson to House's office, where he stood behind Cuddy.
The team simultaneously pointed to the desk at the corner of the room, where House was bouncing his grey and red baseball against the wall. When House saw Cuddy approach, he stopped his bouncing and stood up.
"What did you do to them? They're crying!" he said as he picked up Emily holding her against his chest.
Cuddy rolled her eyes and sighed. "They're little devils, that's what they are! My Rachel wasn't like this when she was this young!"
Wilson worriedly approached her and picked up Levy, who continued his sobbing. He held him and patted his back, murmuring soft words in his ears. Eventually, he calmed down.
"That doesn't explain why they're crying. Maybe they needed their diapers changed or something."
"I did!" Cuddy screeched, drawing the attention of the ducklings, who stared and eavesdropped at their conversation. "Five times! And I thought they were sleepy, so I tried to make them take a nap. And I thought they were too warm, so I tried a nice cool bath. And I thought they were hungry, so I tried to feed them some baby food, but nothing! They won't stop crying! Especially Levy, he was screaming nonstop, asking for his 'da'! What is that, some kind of toy or blankie or something?!"
Wilson sighed and kissed Levy's head. "No, that's House. That's Levy's name for him."
Cuddy sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Well he has him now, doesn't he?! I'm going home, I need a drink. Or two." She walked out, muttering something about little devils and baby food.
"Ooookay," House said, drawing out the word. "Well, I only have about an hour till I go home, so they can stick around."
Wilson nodded and walked out, leaving House, the team, and now Emily and Levy in silence. House picked Levy up and sat him on his lap, while he let Emily roll around on the floor with his red and grey ball.
The ducklings stared.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Get back to work!"
"It's just..." Park started to say. "It's uh, the-"
"Babies?" House finished for her. "They won't bother you, they're harmless. Unless you piss them off. In that case, yes, they'll bother you."
"Yeah, but...they look so strange next to you. You don't look so menacing with them."
"Contrary to popular beliefs, I'm not always a grumpy cripple who complains about everything."
"Won't they, you know...cry and stuff?" Park asked.
House cocked his head and stared. "Interesting. You've never held or taken care of a baby before."
"What? Noo," she started to protest.
Kutner shook his head and picked up Emily from the floor and handed her to Park. "Hold her. She's harmless."
Park cringed away from the squirming baby and shook her head. "No. What if I break her or something?"
"Don't worry, I've got a 2 year guarantee", House said sarcastically. "Hold her or get back to work. I've got to pee, anyway. I'll be back." he said as he took his cane and walked out.
"Oh my God," Park said. "He's left his alone with the little devils? What do we do?!"
Now it was Thirteen's turn to roll her eyes. "He's just gone for a minute. Gimme,"
"Oh, no. I wouldn't let her near a baby if it was up to me," Foreman grumbled. "Last time she wouldn't let go of my niece. I'm off to do a PET scan, don't break or hurt anything."
"You're not the boss of me," Thirteen said in a childish manner. "And I wouldn't have to obsess over other people's kids if you gave me some of my own,"
"Ohhhhhhhhhh," everyone except Thirteen and Foreman exclaimed.
"Now we're getting personal," Taub whispered, clearly enjoying this.
"I already told you," Foreman sighed. "I'm not ready for kids around my house."
Thirteen crossed her arms. "We're talking about this when we get home, Eric."
As soon as Foreman and Thirteen walked out to do the PET scan, the rest of the team were left alone with the twins. Cameron and Taub followed Thirteen out.
"How long does it take to pee?" Chase muttered, glancing at his watch. "He's been gone for over 5 minutes!"
"Maybe he's going number 2," Park offered.
"You know House. He would've told us if he was gonna take a shit, he's that vulgar,"
"Chase!" Kutner said, pointing to the twins sitting in front of them. "Don't say words like that around them, what if they learn it from you?"
"They'll learn it from House, trust me. And how old are they, 9 months? They don't speak yet."
"Yes, but don't give them ideas. We should just calmly watch them until House gets back. Uh. Okay. Who here is good with babies?" Kutner asked.
The two men stared at Park. "Don't look at me, I haven't touched a baby in my life." she said, holding up her arms in defense.
"Well, it's either me or Chase, then," Kutner said. He picked up Emily and handed her to Chase.
Chase carefully picked up the child and cradled her in his arms. He almost smiled; he was that happy for contact, any kind of contact that could relate to House. In reality, he was still very much in love with him but agreed to keep his distance. Wilson was a friend to him and although he wanted House more than anything, he couldn't do much. House had a good life with Wilson and he had 2 kids of his own to take care of. It wouldn't be fair to ruin everything for him; no matter how much he wanted him.
Emily was warm and her belly was round and soft, due to being fed earlier. In her brown curly hair was a little yellow bow that matched her jumpsuit, and she smelled faintly of soap and...House.
Chase recognized House's scent; not in a creepy way, but in a way that he just...notices it. He smells it when House walks into a room, he smells it when he walks past him. It takes everything to hold back and not burrow his face in the crook of House's neck and inhale deeply. He smelled clean. He smelled of soap and aftershave and coffee and it drove him wild.
"You okay man?"
Park and Kutner stared at Chase.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah. So, let's just finish what we were doing."
"Don't you guys think we should wait for House? I don't want to do something wrong to one of the babies or something," Park said, worriedly looking at the twins.
"Wait-" Kutner interrupted, sniffing the air. "What the hell is that smell?"
"What?" Chase asked, smelling the air as well. "I don't smell-ohh,"
"Ew," Park held her nose and walked to the other side of the room. "I think a diaper's full."
"So? What do you expect me to do?" Kutner asked, panicking. "I can't change them!"
"Yes, you can," Chase said, shifting Emily. "Or we can wait for House and deal with the smell. But he's been gone almost 15 minutes and he probably isn't coming back now."
"I don't want to change a diaper!" Kutner said, running a tired hand through his hair. "I don't even know how to!"
"Can't be that hard," Chase mumbled, setting Emily down and lifting up Levy. "We'll just try."
He cradled Levy and started walking out of the office, Kutner (who was holding Emily) and Park reluctantly followed. They walked to the closest women's bathroom and stood outside the door.
"What are we waiting for?" Park asked.
"Um, if you haven't noticed, we're not certified to enter a women's bathroom. Except you, of course." Kutner explained.
"So, he's a boy, you should go into the boy's bathroom!"
Chase rolled his eyes and barged into the ladies room, relieved to find it empty. He unfolded the changing table and turned to Park.
"You can go back to the office; there's a blue bag next to House's stuff. There should be a clean diaper in there," he said.
Park nodded and walked out, returning moments later with a diaper in her hands.
"Okay, how do we do this?"
"Um," Chase began. "Hold on, I saw this on TV..."
He unbuckled Levy's pants and set them aside, pulling off the soiled diaper.
"That's just gross," Park said, turning away and holding her nose. "This is why I'm not having children, oh my God."
Chase almost laughed at Park but busied himself with throwing away the used diaper and unfolding the clean one.
"Okay, that's all I know. I'm done." Chase stepped away.
"I'll take it from here," Kutner said, taking the diaper and lifting Levy's legs. The baby fussed, but soon stopped after a few soothing words from Chase's part.
Kutner placed the diaper under the baby and fastened the straps, pulling up Levy's pants and buckling the button.
"Yeah, I think that's it. I don't have baby powder or a baby wipe or anything, but that'll do." he said, lifting up the gurgling baby.
"Yes, that'll do, Kutner," a voice said.
The three of them looked around, confused and slightly scared, until a stall opened and they saw House. He was sitting on one of the toilets, legs propped up in front of him, casually reading a book.
"What in the world are you doing here?" Park asked.
"I should ask of you the same," came House's answer.
"We're here because a certain someone left us alone. With two...babies or little devils or whatever they are." Park retorted.
"Well, be glad," House said, standing up. "You passed the test."
"Test?" Chase and Kutner asked at the same time.
"Yes, test. Well, you and Chase passed. I'm not sure about Park."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, if I'm gonna be taking my kids to work with me from time to time, I gotta know if they're in good hands, right?" he said, extending his hands toward Emily.
She smiled and reached for House; so Chase let her go. House picked up Levy, waved at his team, and left.
"This was a test?!" Kutner almost yelled.
"Apparently. But you passed and so did I, so I suppose that's okay."
"What about me?" Park asked, following the guys out as they walked out the bathroom.
"You need more practice." Chase said, smirking.
"Oh, okay, mother hen," Park sneered at Chase and walked away, holding her head high up. Kutner guffawed.
"Mother Hen, I should start calling you that!" Kutner laughed as he ran away.
"Hey!" Chase scowled, trying to catch up to Kutner and Park. It was funny to watch them run around.
House stood from the distance, admiring his work.
"You think they deserve to pass, Em?" he asked.
Baby Emily gurgled and reached to touch House's face.
"Yeah, I think so too."