He knew it was wrong the minute he slipped the stack of envelopes into the waiting mail bin. It was cowardly to run away from family duties and especially the family business, given all the lives the Winchester's save on a regular basis, but he wasn't cut out for this life, the sleeping with one eye open continuously. He wanted to be normal, get away from the fighting. His father and he were like a match to a can of gas, combustible. He couldn't allow Dean to get burned anymore, then he already was, the scars were starting to show.