"So, how far have you gone with Four? Or are you still scared at intimacy?" said Christian. As usual I get this question every Monday after I have spent the weekend with Tobias. But the problem is, its not that I don't want to its just I don't want him to expect me to be this curvy and big breast girl because I'm far from it. And even though Tobias has said he doesn't care, when I'm with him and I walk past over girls and I can't help to think that he could have someone as curvy and beautiful as them. Therefor makes me wonder why he picked me. "Christina, I have told you before, if I do anything with him I will tell you."
"is that a no then?"
"Yes it's a no"
"What are you so afraid of? I mean, he picked you didn't he? He was the one that said he liked you, and you know he loves you. I get it you might not be as curvy and as beautiful as the over girls in dauntless, but if he thought that you weren't good enough, he wouldn't have been the one to kiss you in the chasm."
"Well, I don't know what he expects of me, ive never had… it before!" and it's true, im not sure what he expects me to be like, am I supposed to be all dolled up or am I just meant to go along with it? Am I meant to plan it with him or just wait for him to make the move?
"Speak to him about it! You're meant to be dating and you can't even talk about what you want or feel to him!"
"Of course I can! But I'm not sure about you Christina, this doesn't come up in your every day conversation!"
"Make it then!"
"Fine." I got up and left the table we were sat at in the cafeteria. I probably over reacted a bit, but I don't care. She might have had sex plenty of times, with different people, but I love Tobias and I don't want him to be disappointed.
I was just leaving the control room, heading to see Tris, when I saw her almost in tears walking towards her room. My heart started to race because I hate seeing Tris upset and it makes me want to punch whoever made her like that. I decided to follow her to see where she was heading and I was right, she was going to her room. As I watched her hands shaking to try and get the key in the hole, I went up behind her and grabbed her waist.
"What the hell!" she almost screeched so loud the neighbours would be able to hear.
"wow, whats wrong?"
"Leave me alone" by this time there were tears racing down her cheeks, and before I noticed she had slammed the door right in my face.
"Tris, what's wrong?"
"nothing just leave me alone!"
"No!" by this time I was shouting, "Tris, I hate seeing you like this, please tell me whats wrong and we can talk about it!" I got no reply, so after about ten minutes of knocking on the door I ran down to the cafeteria where I saw her early, to see what happened. But the only person I could see was Christina, who was sat with Uriah. I ran over to them as quick as I could, because I couldn't stand the thought of Tris sat in her room crying her eyes out.
"Hey Christina, do you know what is up with Tris?"
"Oh you found her? She ran off when I asked her if she got over her fear."
"Her fear of intimacy?"
"You bought that up?"
"Yeh, what's her problem with that? Like she won't have sex right? I don't know how you survive Four." Uriah interrupted.
"you know she's scared Christina!" I was shouting now, "and quite frankly Uriah I don't care! If she's not ready yet she's not ready!"
"someone clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Christina sniggered.
"Well I don't know if you've noticed but Tris is upstairs in her room crying because you bought it up"
"well I had to, for your sake. I mean you want to experience the fun of it again don't you?"
"Again? I haven't ever dated anyone besides from Tris or had sex! So I'm on the same page as her!" I need to stop talking to Christina and Uriah because I can imagine Tris sat in her room worrying. " im not sure about you, but I care about Tris, so im going to go find her."
And with that I sprinted off to her room.
Okay Guys, thanks for reading the first chapter, i understand that this isnt M at the moment but i promise there will be more to come! PLEASE REVIEW AT THE BOTTOM AND GIVE ME IDEAS AND IMPROVEMENTS!
i will update it as soon as i can :)