WEB OF WONDER
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers, Spider-Man, Justice League Unlimited, or their characters.
Summary: After a devastating alien attack, Wonder Woman finds out that she could have prevented all this, by sleeping with Spider-Man. Done purely for comedy and maybe some drama.
Authors Notes: This was done for fun. Nothing else. So don't expect a big romance/story for this.
(The Justice League Watchtower)
The Justice League: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Jonn Jonzz, Black Canary, Vixen, Red Arrow, Hawkgirl and Black Lightning were standing on one side.
The Avengers: Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Spider-Man, Wasp, Black Widow, Giant Man, Hulk, Ms Marvel, Hawkeye, Moondragon, and Crystal were standing off to the other side.
In between them and backed up against the wall, were the three remaining leaders of the Galaxian Empire. The rest of their fleet destroyed. Possessing human-like features, dark-blue royalty uniforms, raven-black hair of different lengths, and yellow-as-sunflower colored eyes, the Galaxian's were yet another in a long-line of alien races who had failed to conquer the Earth. However, it was not without price.
"Dozens of major cities destroyed. Millions of innocent people dead. You'll pay for these crimes." Wonder Woman declared to the Galaxian with the longest black hair.
"Well, this could have been avoided if you'd only have slept with Spider-Man." the long-haired Galaxian leader said.
Everyone became deadly silent at hearing that. The Avengers turning towards the webslinger, the Justice League turning towards Wonder Woman.
"WHAT?" Wonder Woman gasped in shock.
"Yeah. That's why we brought him here in the first place." the Galaxian with the short black hair said.
"What In Hades Are You Talking About?" the amazon shouted.
"See, we wanted to invade your world, but we couldn't do it unless we offered you some kind of deal or gambit to give you a chance to save your world from death and enslavement." the Galaxian with the medium-length black hair said.
"Wait! You WANTED to invade our planet. You PLANNED on killing billions of innocent people and enslave billions more. And now you're telling me that all I had to do to prevent all this... was to have sex with HIM?!" she declared pointing at the webslinger.
"Yes." the leader said simply.
Wonder Woman stared at the alien warlord as if he had gone insane.
"That is... the most... Ridiculous! Idiotic! Asinine! Ludicrous! Senseless! Moronic! And Outlandish thing I'd ever heard of!" she shouted.
"Exactly. That's why we made it the only condition to stop the invasion." the short-haired Galaxian stated.
"What?" she asked, her mind on the verge of shutting down.
(Sigh) "We Galaxians are a race of conquerors. For centuries our people have traveled the universe conquering planet after planet as we saw fit. However, ancient tradition dictates that we give each impending planet a chance to save themselves. Specifically, we offer them a choice: either we attack and they can try to defend themselves, (in which case many will die), or... we come up with some other gambit or condition that they have to meet in order for us to leave them alone. No strings, no repercussions, we just leave." the first leader said.
"And considering Earth's unique superheroes who have defeated race after race of alien invaders, we thought long and hard about the perfect alternative that we knew you would never accept." the second leader said.
"We kidnap a hero from another universe..." the first leader said.
"Someone who is not considered the ultimate paragon of virtue..." the second leader said.
"Someone who would be considered a criminal or a miscreant at first glance..." the third leader said.
"Yup, that's me." Spider-Man quipped.
"And give him one solar cycle, in your case that is only one day, to have sex with you. Princess Diana of Themyscira." the first leader said.
"Why didn't you pick someone who just outright hated men? Like... Artemis?" Black Canary asked.
"Because the alternative choice had to have a chance at succeeding. Regardless of how small. The amazon Artemis would have tried to kill Spider-Man the second she met him, if only because he's male and she hates men." the first leader said.
"Since Diana actually likes men, it made sense that she be the primary choice." the second leader said.
"You... you mean... I could..." she muttered, then turned around to face Spider-Man. "Did you know about this?"
"Of course. They told me about this when they kidnapped me from my universe. I thought it was completely crazy, but they were actually serious." Spider-Man said.
"But you never said anything!" Wonder Woman said.
"Would you have believed me?" he asked.
"No!" she declared instantly.
"Well... there you are." he said simply. "The second I realized that there was no way in Hell I'd get you to have sex with me, I went to Superman and Batman and told them what was going on. So they opened up a portal to my world, brought the Avengers here, assembled the rest of your Justice League, and we mounted an all-out assault on the Galaxians command cruiser."
"Not knowing that the Galaxian's were monitoring us the whole time, which caused them to accelerate their attack schedule and attack several major cities while we tried to disable their flagship." Batman said.
"All those people... And You Knew About This?!" she shouted at Superman and Batman.
"Yes, but we knew you'd never agree to it, so we didn't tell you." Superman said.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" she shouted at the trio.
"Oh, yeah, right!" Spider-Man declared as he held up his left hand. "1-You said yourself you'd never have believed me. 2-I'm not from this universe so there's no way you would have known me nor trusted me. 3-Even if someone in your world, someone you trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt, vouched for me, you would still have questioned the logic behind all of this. There Wasn't Any! And 4-Even if you knew the truth, and what was at stake, you never would have had sex with me."
Wonder Woman nodded her head at his reasoning. Until he came to the last one.
"What do you mean 'Even if I knew the truth'? You make it sound like I'm some kind of elitist snob who would put my own pride before the safety of mankind." she barked.
Spider-Man sighed as he explained the situation again.
"The Galaxian's only gave me 24-hours to sleep with you, or they would have launched their invasion. Even Iron Man couldn't have pulled that off, and he's slept with pretty much every superheroine in our world." Spider-Man said.
"Well... not every one, but... more than most." Iron Man mumbled under his breath as some of the Avengers gave him sour looks.
"They gave me a file they had compiled on you, which took me a couple of hours to read. And I speed-read. And after fighting side-by-side with you against them, I have to say they were completely accurate. You never would have slept with me, even if you knew it was the only way it was to prevent their invasion of your world." Spider-Man said.
"So it was either 'I have sex with you', or... 'millions of people die'?" Wonder Woman asked.
"Precisely." The Galaxians said simply.
"Which is a victory for us either way." the first leader said.
"Yeah, kinda figured that." Spider-Man said grimly.
"I had a right to know!" Wonder Woman hissed.
"Oh, right. There's a great idea. Let's pressure Wonder Woman into having sex with a man she doesn't know just so that an alien race won't attack our planet." Flash quipped.
"Millions of people died, and you're telling me that I could have saved them, just by having sex with one man?! Alternate universe or not, you should have told me!"
"Jeez! Be thankful we didn't make the choice one of the supervillains in your world. We had plenty to choose from. Lex Luthor. The Joker. Sinestro. Captain Cold. Grodd."
"I would rather have slept with that gorilla than allow millions of people to die!" she stated.
"And the beautiful woman picks the gorilla over me." Spider-Man groaned. "Typical."
"'Typical'? What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.
"If you knew anything about Spider-Mans life, you would understand." Captain America said.
This is just something I did for fun, and to help my writers block. Again.
I was bored one day while writing my other stories, and this idea just popped into my head. I liked the idea so much I had to write it up.
The basic idea of a Spider-Man/Wonder Woman interaction, yet still trying to keep them in-character enough that they would never get together. The idea itself could lead itself to a potential relationship but I'm not getting into that right now.