Sorry took so long I'm in a rush to get some chapters up so I won't say much. Thank you for all the reviews, and I am truly sorry it took so long. I hope it was worth the wait. And once again sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes like I said I am in a rush to publish this chapter. Thank you hope you will review to tell me your thoughts.
"What the hell do you mean you don't know?" Sawyer snarled holding the small boy by the collar of his jacket. His frightened green eyes flickered from her to the three men standing behind her.
"I do-don't know how else to s-say it." He stammered nervously. Groaning Sawyer released his jacket letting him fall to the ground.
"Good choice of kidnap victim you got here Connor" Sawyer said sarcastically looking over her shoulder at the figure leaning against the cell wall.
"You aren't doing it right." Connor smirked pushing off the wall and walking up next to her. Without warning, he knocked the kid into the wall behind him with his foot. Sawyer flinched at the sound of his head bouncing from the cement. She looked over her shoulder at Daryl and Rick raising her eyebrow. She wasn't sure if she should allow him to do this or not. But from the look on their faces she got the message to shut up and let the man work.
After all Connor was the best at being a psychopath. He could probably strike fear into the kid's heart.
"Okay so Thomas let's try this again." Connor crouched down in front of the boy cracking his knuckles. "Where's my friend Dave?"
"I already told you I don't know. He said he would be back and left." Thomas demanded looking at them with pleading eyes.
"Who's with him?" He asked tilting his head slightly. For some reason it sent chills over her body. Something about the way he looked made him look like a predator and the kid was his prey.
"Ashley, Harold, Kevin, and Gavrin." Thomas choked out looking around at everyone again.
"Where's everyone else?" Connor asked through clenched teeth. He was getting very impatient with this guy. There were twenty men when he left. Three were killed by Sawyer and Daryl, and three more that day. Plus Thomas.
"You- you killed them, sir." Connor couldn't help roll his eyes at the title. "The group with Dave is the only ones left. Five people, not including myself." Connor let out a laugh at the information. Dave wanted his army yet ended up with four people. Yet three of them were his right arms people. Connor understood why Dave wanted them with him. To protect his stupid ass. Standing to his feet Connor looked over his shoulder at Rick.
"Five people remain." He smirked before turning back to Thomas. "Only five." Connor reached for Thomas but Sawyer quickly spoke.
"You can't kill him." She demanded stepping forward to Connor's side.
"He's useless. There's nothing else we need from him." He shrugged causing another member of the group to take a step forward.
"She's right. He's just a boy and he can be helpful. Daryl can track Dave if we know which direction he went." Rick offered watching Sawyer kneel down beside the boy.
"Pleas-se don't kill me. I don-don't want to die." The boy cried as Connor pulled him up by the collar over his jacket. "I stand with you Connor. Remember?" His lip curled into snarl at the memory of this kid. He wasn't that bad, only annoying. He had followed Connor around like a little puppy begging for praise. It was annoying but hell Connor loved being admired. Releasing his hold he let the boy fall at his feet.
"Yeah, yeah I remember." Connor commented before crossing his arms over his chest. "But I'm not the one whose ass you're going to have to kiss. Let me introduce you to your new ass or should I say asses?" He smirked stepping back and waving towards the group. "Meet Rick, Daryl, and Sawyer." He looked down at the boy the dark smirk still on his lips. "I'm not the leader here. I'm a prisoner same as you so there's no need to suck up to me." The boy quickly nodded pushing himself up against the wall. Shrugging Connor turned and walked from the cell before walking in his. He listened as Rick told him the same thing he told Connor the first night he was here. Laying down on the bed, he listened as both his and Thomas's cells were closed and locked.
"Guess I'll be seeing you at dinner." He smirked not opening his eyes.
"Hope you don't mind spit." Sawyer demanded from outside the cell sitting down in the chair. Peeking from one eye he noticed she was the only one there. She was sitting in the chair whoever was watching him usually sat in. His smirk only grew. How interesting.
The pain in her shoulder could never match the pain she was feeling in her heart. Pulling the blanket tighter against her chest, she listened to Maggie and Miss Patty talk in hushed voices behind her. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she had made Rick leave. She couldn't believe he would have done that to her again. Her last request was to die. He had told her he loved her yet went against her.
Her fist tightened on the cotton blanket at the memories crashing in her mind. She shook her head wanting to once again forget everything. How could she have wanted this? She was foolish to ask for this pain once again. When she had woken up in the bed of this room she had been saddened by the picture of Maggie sitting next to her smiling at her being alive.
She missed the darkness, the numbness of it. She didn't feel the guilt or pain anymore. There was no hurt or the dulling ache in her chest anymore. How she wanted to stay in there and just lay there. Never to feel again. But she did. She felt a lot. Too much. Bitterness, loss, guilt, so much emotions crashing over her at one time.
Shaking her head she turned on her back staring at the ceiling. At the motive both women looked at her. She cut her eyes at them before turning back to the ceiling.
"You feelin' any better?" Miss Patty asked.
"Depends on what you mean." She answered her hazel eyes staring blankly at the gray ceiling. "If you mean physically, than yes. If you mean emotionally or mentally, than no. I don't feel better." She said bitterness in her tone as she spoke.
"Well I'm glad I meant physically." She smiled walking over closer to Nicole. The girl didn't even move her eyes as the woman approached.
"I'd rather not feel anything." Nicole snapped bitterly her fist curling into the sheets.
"You don't mean that." Maggie whispered softly moving to stand near her as well. Nicole cut her eyes at her giving her a hateful glare.
"I do mean it. I mean everything I said after I woke up. I want to die. Then I won't have to feel anything anymore." She said harshly before snapping her attention back to the roof.
"What about Annie? She misses you and I know you miss her. You're her mother." Maggie whispered flinching when Nicole yelled back at her.
"I am not her mother. She is not my child. I don't want anything to do with her. She'd be better off if I was dead." Nicole yelled before ripping the IV from her arm. She pushed from the bed almost losing her footing. The ground was cold on her feet but she didn't care. She couldn't lay there right now.
"You shouldn't be moving." Miss Patty instructed reaching for the girl. Nicole pushed away from her falling against the counter behind her.
"I don't care. Maybe it'll kill me faster." She screamed reaching behind her back for something sharp. She came up empty. Her eyes caught sight of something and she quickly looked away not wanting to get caught looking at it. She side stepped the back of her knees brushing against a stool.
"Stop being so foolish Nicole. I am done with this nonsense." Miss Patty demanded but not raising her voice.
"Me foolish? No you and Rick are foolish for thinking I can be saved. You don't understand you can't save a dead girl. I'm already dead y'all just haven't realized it yet." She sidestepped again getting closer to her target. In a quick movement her legs gave out sending her falling forward. Quickly, Maggie jumped forward catching the girl before she hit the ground. She caught Nicole under her arms as her head landed on her shoulder.
"She must have over done it." Maggie whispered trying her best to hold the girl up. She gasped as Nicole pushed her backwards. She quickly caught her balance before looking back at the girl. "Shit." She mumbled noticing it had been a trick. Nicole stood in front of them clutching Maggie's knife in her right hand.
"Now, Nicole, think about this." Miss Patty demanded holding her hand out for the blade. "You don't want to do this. Give me the knife."
"It's one thing I do want." She whispered looking at the knife in her hand.
"Think about Rick. You love him and he loves you. How could you do that to somebody you love?" Maggie asked feeling the panic in her chest. She couldn't let Nicole do this. For so many reasons.
"Love that's another feeling I don't want to feel." Nicole whispered still looking at the knife clutched in her hand. "Love is nothing but heart ache. I mean look at Connor. Look at what I did to him. I got him killed." She whispered. "I'm not stupid. I heard you talking about him finally catching him. I know Rick wouldn't allow him to live after he shot me."
"Connor wasn't the one who shot you." Miss Patty whispered causing Maggie to cut her eyes at her. They weren't supposed to tell her about that. Nicole finally looked up from the knife narrowing her eyes at them.
"Of course he was." She hissed tightening her hold on the knife. "He wanted me dead and I'm sure in his last moments he was happy I was dead. I killed him. I'm death. Don't you see? Anything I touch dies! Connor! My mom! My dad! My-" She shook her head letting a sob escape her throat. "So many people dead because of me. But I'm going to put an end to it before anyone else dies." She lifted the knife to her throat. The sharp blade pressed into her skin drawing a small amount of blood.
"Stop!" Maggie screamed jumping for the girl. She slammed Nicole back against the door slapping the knife from her hand. The knife hit the ground before Miss Patty kicked it underneath the bed. She pinned Nicole to the wall by her arms not wanting to hurt the girl's wound any more than she already had. "I won't let you kill yourself. You aren't in your right mind. The memory loss has confused you. The Nicole I knew wouldn't want this." Nicole fought against her hold.
"The Nicole you knew is dead." Nicole snarled before shoving Maggie backwards into the counter. Maggie easily caught herself regaining her balance. "I am just the shell of that girl. I am hollow. Empty. Everything I was is gone. I died a long time ago!" She screamed tears running down her cheeks. Maggie gasped in horror looking at the girl's body slumped forward. She quickly stepped forward catching Nicole before she hit the ground. This time she made sure it wasn't another trick.
"She really passed out this time." Maggie whispered turning her attention from Nicole to the older woman.
"Good it's better like this." Miss Patty said from behind Maggie. Gently she reached forward checking the girl's pulse. "Passed out from exhaustion. We should get her back in bed."
"We'll need to get some handcuffs from Rick. She shouldn't be able to get out of bed." Maggie insisted pulling Nicole over to the bed. With a little help from Miss Patty they were able to get her back into bed. Maggie was careful not to hurt the girl. She softly wiped the tears from Nicole's cheeks. "I'm sorry you no longer want to live, Nicole. But you need to understand we can't let you die."
"Honey as much as you want to save her you won't be able to unless she wants to save herself." She looked over her to see Miss Patty staring down at Nicole with kind eyes. Gently, Maggie reached out pushed some of the strands of hair from Nicole's face.
"What do you think made her block everything out?" She asked keeping her eyes on Nicole's face. "What could have been so bad she'd choose to forget everything?"
"There's only one way to find out." Miss Patty offered before sitting down in the nearest chair. "Somebody will have to ask her."
"How are we so sure she'll actually tell us the truth?" Maggie finally turned her attention away from Nicole to sit down on the bed in front of Miss Patty.
"We aren't but it's worth the shot but I don't think it should be us who should ask her." Maggie raised her eyebrow in the confusion.
"Who do you want us to get to ask her? She won't see Rick; nobody else knows she's here. There's no-"
"I have a feeling she'd talk if she had no other choice." Maggie stared at the woman watching her lips curl into a sweet smile. She had something planned.
She had been sitting there for thirty minutes watching the two guys. The kid Thomas made some noise only sniffling every five minutes but didn't talk. Connor on the other hand was driving her up the wall.
"How old are you anyways?" She felt like she was being questioned by police. Sighing she pushed away from the wall placing the legs of the chair back on the ground.
"Eighteen, I think." Sawyer answered running her hands down her face.
"You think?" Connor asked from inside the cell. He was sitting against the wall nearest to the cell door.
"You can't really keep up with the date around here." She heard him snort causing her to remove her hands from her face. "What?"
"You aren't even allowed to drink yet." He smirked tilting his head so he was looking at her through the cell. Narrowing her eyes she slid to the ground next to the door.
"What the hell are you playing at?" She asked glaring at him. He had been acting way to normal for her likings. All day he helped them without bitching or declaring he would kill them all. She found it odd he was being so nice to her or Rick for that matter.
"What do you mean?" He asked before a smirk appeared on his lips. Not meaning to, she moved closer to the bars.
"You being so..." She trailed off trying to think of the best word. "Normal! Why?" She rolled her eyes as he chuckled turning back forward. It was quick. She didn't even see the movement or know how it happened. All she knew was Connor's arm had come out of the cell and grabbed her leg pulling her closer to the cell. She struggled to pull her leg out but he grabbed her arm pulling her fully against the bars.
"I am normal Sawyer." He whispered as her breaths started getting quicker. She did not like this not one bit. She pulled at her body not wanting it this close to him anymore.
"You are not normal." She hissed through clenched teeth feeling his hand run up her calf. "Let me go." She demanded only causing him tighten his hold on her arm.
"You remember that guy in your high school, the one who got all the girls and played football? You know the one you dreamed about." He asked looking over her face. She kept struggling against his hold not wanting to answer. "You know what I'm talking about. He probably dated the prettiest girls in school and had all the friends while you sat on the bleachers begging God to let him notice you."
"Shut up!" She snarled pulling at the arm that was stuck between her and the bars.
"Oh so you do know what I'm talking about." He smirked pulling her harder against the bars. "Well I was that guy. In my high school at least. I was normal, Sawyer. Let me ask you, are you the same girl you were before this happened?" She shivered when his hand made it to the back of her knee.
She wasn't. Before all this happened, she was a loner. She didn't have any friends other than her grandparents. Even in high school she avoided most of the kids there just wanting to get to class. Living in a small town, everyone knew about her parents. Once they knew about their deaths, Sawyer got the sad and sympathy looks. Not wanting their pity, she kept to herself. Some days she wanted to be able to go to sleep overs or pool parties but she would never be sure if they were her friends or just felt sorry for her.
Nicole had been her first true friend since her parents' death. She didn't give Sawyer the pity look instead gave her the look of understanding. Nicole knew what it was like to lose a parent and didn't pity Sawyer for doing the same.
To answer his question, Sawyer was different now. Stronger. Braver.
"No I'm not but I'm still me." She demanded pulling at her arm once again. If he tried anything she would scream for Daryl. She couldn't reach her knife due to the fact he had both her arms pinned.
"And I'm being me." He whispered running his fingertips over the part of her arm he was holding. "You just don't know the real me. You know the monster I created to protect myself from this world." He demanded she jumped as his hand ran up the back of her thigh. "In this world there are no rules. I seen it, Nicole seen it, hell even Rick sees it. You just try to live day to day. If you have to cruel to survive it so be it. I did what had to be done to live. Hell I might be a little crazy and cruel but I'll be the last ones standing in the end." He tilted his head looking over her face.
"But you won't." She whispered completely giving up on fighting. "It won't be you standing there. It'll be what this world changed you into."
"Exactly, Sawyer." He smiled giving the back of her thigh a light squeeze. Her breath caught and she leaned her head back slightly. "There's the answer to your question. I'm finding myself again." She shook her head pulling herself from his grasp. Quickly she pushed herself away from the cell towards the farthest wall. Her back hit the wall before she let out a sigh of relief. She narrowed her eyes looking at him as he started laughing at her. He shook his head before standing to his feet. "I wasn't going to hurt you."
"I know that." She demanded reaching up to fix her braid. "That's not what I was worried about." She muttered pulling the band from her hair.
"You scared I was going to feel you up?" Sawyer snapped her head up in horror at the comment. Her hair fell framing her face. She expected to see a smirk on his face but instead he was smiling. Quickly she looked away feeling the heat on her cheeks.
"No." She snapped pushing to her feet before pulling her hair into a messy bun. She wiped at her cheeks trying to hide the blush. Clearing her throat she turned towards the direction to go get somebody to take her spot. "I'm goin' to get Daryl." She started off but stopped when Connor spoke.
"Hey wait." Looking over her shoulder she noticed her was still smiling at her.
"What?" She asked.
"The guy in your high school the one I was talkin' about?" He asked placing one of his hands on the bar. Crossing her arms over her chest she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, what about him?" Sawyer asked raising his eyebrows. Smiling he looked her over her from head to toe. His gaze returned to her face and she couldn't stop the shiver that ran down her spine.
"I'm sure he noticed you." He smiled before pushing away from the cell disappearing from her view. Sawyer couldn't help that her cheeks burned red. Shaking her head she quickly walked down the hall towards the door. A small smile crept on her face.
Nicole could feel herself slipping away from the darkness. How she wished she could stay here a little longer. The pain in her shoulder was bringing her back. Her eyes fluttered open coming to stare at the white ceiling above her. She let out a light cough before clenching her teeth. Her shoulder was throbbing with pain. She wished it would just go away allow her to feel nothing. Like she wanted to begin with.
She released a sigh remembering the episode she had earlier with Maggie and Miss Patty. She had been so close to getting the peace she so desperately wanted. With a little more pressure, Nicole would have been home free. She wouldn't feel what she was feeling any longer. She groaned clenching her eyes closed. Apparently her big adventure of climbing out the bed had made her body weaker than before.
"Here." Her eyes darted to her right before they narrowed slightly. She looked down at the medicine in the hand extended towards her before looking back up at the face. Her hazel eyes never softening like they once would. "Just take it. It'll help with the pain in your shoulder."
Picking up her left hand she felt her arm tuck before the coldness of the metal. She looked to see the handcuffs on her wrist and the bed. They had handcuffed her to the bed.
"Maggie suggested we put those on you." Nicole rolled her eyes before turning back towards the man.
"You should have known better. You know I can pick them Rick." She told him before snatching the pain pill from his hand. She placed the pill in her mouth before swallowing. She didn't care about water she just needed the pain to stop. She knew it was going to be at least thirty minutes before the thing kicked in so she laid back against the pillows.
"You can't pick them without something." He insisted sitting back down in the chair beside the bed. He looked over her face taking in her dark eyes. The blank stare she was giving the wall in front of her. He was waiting for her to tell him to leave but he couldn't. Miss Patty had come to him telling him he needed to get Nicole to open up. They had taken all his weapons before using the keys to lock them both in here. So it was only in him and Nicole for the night. She finally noticed he was looking at her. With an eye roll she turned back towards him.
"You can go now." She said waving towards the door with her free hand. "I don't need you here."
"That door isn't opening until sunrise." She narrowed her eyes moving from the pillows. He listened to the metal of the bed being hit by the handcuff.
"What did you do!?" She asked tucking at her arm again.
"I didn't do anything. Miss Patty thought we needed to talk so she locked us in here for the night." He watched Nicole's eyes dart to the door before returning to his face.
"You're both stupid if you think this is going to help." She snorted before turning away from him. "But then again." She turned back to him giving him a disgusted look before looking slightly closer towards him. "By the end of the night I'll have you begging to get out of this room." She growled venom dripping from each word.
"You can't scare me." He told her trying to show her, her words weren't bothering him. She gave him dark look before her lips curved into a smirk. Not the devious one he was so used too but a dark one that sent a chill down his spine.
"I was thinking more about mentally crippling you, Rick. Where should I start?" She asked herself turning her attention to the ceiling. She snapped her fingers before looking back at him. "Let's start with your partner." He narrowed his eyes slightly at her knowing what she was trying to do. She was trying to get into his head and he wasn't going to let that happen. She knew how much guilt he had felt after having to kill Shane and he couldn't allow her to use it as a weapon against him. He moved closer looking over her face.
"Let's start with you." He offered slightly tilting his head. Her eyes darkened but her smirk never faded. It remained perfect on her lips.
"What about me?" She asked tilting her head as if mocking him. "What could you possibility say to me that I don't already know? I killed my father, I killed your wife, I killed Connor, and Hell I even killed myself. Mostly anyways but I'm sure I'll be finishing the job real soon."
"Let's talk about why you can't live with yourself anymore." He watched her smirk fall and her eyes widened before she turned away.
"I don't know what you are talking about." She snapped keeping her attention to her hands in front of her.
"You obviously have a reason for blocking us out which I'm sure has something to do with you wanting to kill yourself. So what did you do?" He watched as her eyes glazed over and the movement of her hands stopped.
The sun was bright in the sky. The sweat dripped down Nicole's forehead. Using the back of her hand, she wiped the sweat from her forehead. It was hot and humid. Her clothes clung to her body wet with her sweat. She looked around the road checking for any stray walkers around. Her ears perked up listening for anything other than the sound of her boots hitting the gravel.
She started getting light headed for the third time that day. Stumbling she made her way to the shade by a nearby building. She leaned against the wall waiting for her tiredness to fade away. She started regaining feeling in her legs and let out a sigh. She pushed off the building then decided to head inside to see what she could find.
She was hoping to find something for her sickness. She had been so lightheaded lately from her lack of being able to keep food down this past week. She stepped inside cautiously looking for any walkers. She eased down the aisle looking over the shelves of medicine. She was in the female area her hand grazing the boxes of women products. She paused when she came across the bright blue box.
'Would she need those?' she pulled the calendar from her bag going back to the day she left the prison. It had been two and a half months. 'No!' she screamed at herself looking at the calendar in horror.
"It's impossible." she whispered before shoving the book back into her bag. She walked down the aisle towards the end. She paused in the middle of the isle. "I'm just over thinking it. It's impossible. I can't be." She mumbled running her fingers through her tangled hair. She laughed at herself for thinking like that. "I'm just counting wrong." Then why was she about to cry? She wanted to cry at the thought of it being true. She bit her lips nervously taking the last few steps towards the boxes. She reached out with a trembling hand. Her fingers brushed the box before getting a grip on it. She pulled it off the shelf looking down at it. In her hands was a pregnancy test.
She pushed it into her bag. It would have to wait till later.
"Stop it!" She yelled breaking her trance. Her hands curled up her hair as her nails raked her skull. "Leave me alone. Leave!" She demanded pulling her knees against her chest. Her eyes clutched shut trying to get rid of the horrid memory. Rick shook his head stepping closer towards her.
"No I want to know why you did this to yourself. Why can't you live with yourself? What did you do?" He asked wanting so badly to comfort her but knew she would just push him away. He needed to break her even if he didn't like it.
"I didn't do anything! You don't know what you're talking about." Her grip on her head tightened as she rocked her body back and forth.
Her leg bounced against the tile floor of the bathroom. The old walls surrounded her mocking her of what she had done. She looked down at the test that was flipped over in front of her. She hadn't built up the nerve to flip it over and read the results. She hoped it was negative. But the feeling crawling up her spine was telling her it wasn't. Taking a deep breath, she leaned forward allowing her finger tips to brush the test. Picking it up, she held it out and read the test. Her shaking hands dropped the test. The sound of it bouncing off the ground echoed in her ears. She wanted to scream, yell, cry, curse, anything but she couldn't move.
"Please stop, Rick. Please." She whispered her cheeks now covered in salty tears. He could see her body shaking before she released another sob. "I tried Rick. I tried. I failed you, I failed him. I didn't want it to happen."
"Tell me what happened, please." He said softly as he sat down on the bed beside her. She shook her head finally opening her eyes to look at him. He felt his chest ache at the look in her eyes. So much guilt and sadness in those hazel eyes that once held so much love.
"You were right. I can't live with myself, Rick."
Nicole ran down the stairs looking away from the groans coming above her. She stopped on the third floor opening the door. She regretted instantly when the walkers inside turned towards her. She cursed under her breath going to slam the door back. The door caught on a walker's foot causing her to push harder. She felt more walkers start pushing the door. Her teeth clenched together as she pushed the door as hard as she could. She looked up the stairs seeing the other walkers from earlier coming.
"Not today" She whispered in frustration as the door started opening more. "No, no. God please no" The door sprung open knocking her backwards. She hit the railing before slipping on the edge. She knew what was coming next. She fell backwards hitting the stairs before flipping over. With each hit she let out a whimper. She landed on her stomach on the landing. A pain shot through her from her stomach. She gasped for air trying to get to her feet. Her hands pulling her further from the stairs. She had to get out of here. She grabbed the railing pulling herself up as more pain shot through her. She clutched her stomach as the sound of a walker falling down the stairs came behind her. She looked over her shoulder seeing the pieces of a broken walker.
She knew something was wrong the moment another pain shot through her. She felt the tears building up as she looked down at her stomach. 'Something's wrong with the baby' Was the first thought that passed through her mind. She pushed away from the railing heading for the stairs. She had to get back home. 'I'm getting worked up. The baby is reacting to my stress' she told herself as she eased down the stairs. The sound of more walkers falling sounded through the stairway. She made it to the first floor before going out the back door. She limped towards her car trying her best to calm down. She needed to get back to the cabin.
He looked over her face as tears ran down her cheeks dripping on to the shirt she was wearing. He had never seen her so broken. She shook her head turning her attention back to her hands in front of her.
"There was so much pain. I never felt more alone then I did at that moment. I missed you so much and wished I could just stand up and go home to you. But I couldn't move. I wanted to die. I was supposed to die." She whispered before sniffling. Her fingertips brushing against the light cotton blanket, her eyes following the movement.
She had made it to the house before the pain started getting worse.
Nicole held her stomach as the pain rushed over her body. She fell on her knees as the pain rushed through her. She leaned forward clutching her stomach. Her teeth clenched together and tears formed in her eyes. She rocked back and forth begging for it to stop. She just wanted it to end.
Her eyes spot open when she felt the wetness between her legs. Slowly she moved her hand down touching the wet area. She brought her hand back letting out a whimper when she saw what was on her hand. Blood. She pushed off the ground rushing into the old bathroom. She turned on the sink still holding her hand to her stomach. Something warm started dripping down her legs. Its warmth was slowly running down the insides of her bare legs. The sound of dripping hit her ears but she knew it wasn't rain drops hitting the ground below. She quickly grabbed a towel soaking it in the water. She washed the blood from her hands.
Another rush of pain hit her causing her to grip the side of sink. Her feet slipped in her own blood, sending her crashing into the puddle of her own blood. She looked down at her body. It was covered with her blood. She should have known. Nothing worked out for. She let out a angry sob kicking the opposite wall. She started reaching for the towel again. Her hands shook as she tried to wipe the blood from her arms.
There was so much blood. It never ended. It wouldn't stop coming. She moved away from her puddle of blood trying to stand up. She placed her hand on the wall leaving behind a bloody hand print. Her legs gave out causing her to fall against the wall. She started crying her head rested against the wall. Her legs curled underneath her. Her body shook as she let out angry tears.
Everything will be okay. She'll die with him. She will die with her and Rick's child. She desired to die with him. Her eyelids started getting heavy. Her breathing slowed down. Her head fell to the left and her eyes closed. She hoped it was forever.
Pain. Blood. Tears. All mixed together on her hands. She stared down at the blood in horror. What had she done? She was a horrible person. She was a disgusting human being. Her hands closed into fist before looking up at herself in the mirror. The dark lines under her eyes stuck out like a sore thumb. Her lips were purple from loss of blood. Her hazel eyes that once held so much light were dull. The light had been blown out a long time ago. She stared crying more at herself. With a bloody hand she wiped away the tears on her cheeks. Only making the blood smear across her cheek. She let out a scream slamming her fist against the mirror. It cracked but didn't shatter. She placed her hands on the red stain ground letting out sobs.
"What have I done?" She whispered clawing at the ground with her fingertips. "What have I done?" She slammed her hands against the ground. "I was supposed to die with him. He wasn't supposed to leave me behind. I was supposed to go with him. To see my mother, and father. I was supposed to go with him!" She yelled leaned forward and placing her forehead against her knees. "I was supposed to go with you."
"I was supposed to go with him." She whispered staring blankly ahead at the wall. She had stopped crying but he would have preferred it better. Now she was in some sort of trance repeating the same thing over and over. "I was supposed go with him." He sat there with his hand on the crook of her elbow trying to get to her come back from whatever she was seeing.
"Nicole, honey, who where you supposed to go with?" He asked softly reaching up brushing his knuckles against her cheek.
"Mayb-Maybe if I would have come back then he'd be okay, I'd be okay." She whispered before slowly turning towards him. "But I didn't and he died. He left me empty when he left me behind."
"Who?" He asked searching her eyes for a hint of who she was talking about. Her eyes started tearing up once again and her lower lip trembled. He got a feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him sick as she mumbled the next word.