Title: Fake Boyfriend

Author: Anne Midnight Hunter

Beta: Nope! Sorry for the mistakes!

Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rate: R/M

Pair/Characters: Derek/Stiles, Sheriff, Danny, Scott, Jackson, OC, Isaac, Boyd, Erica.

Type: Pre-Slash/Humor/Post-Season 2/Two-Shot

Summary: "I need a favor."

"Yeah? Tell me something new, buddy. Like what's gonna happen in the new Supernatural episode? Or better yet, do vampire sparkles?"

"Can you be quiet so I can talk?"

"Yeah, yeah, you have the floor Cujo." Stiles wince when Derek growls at the nickname.

"I want you to pretend to be my lover, okay?"


Anne: Hi! Um *Nervous shuffle of feet* this is my first fic on this wonderful fandom and of course I was sucked into the Sterek world! (Which I'm driving everyone crazy with it. Buahahahahaha) Well, I was lurking around the Teen Wolf Kink Memes and I found a lot of good prompts and I decide to start with this one: Derek/Stiles, miscommunication, accidental boyfriends. I've seen plenty of fic where Stiles uses Derek as a fake boyfriend for one reason or another or the Sheriff thinks their dating or something. I want to see Derek use Stiles to get out of a jam. Like, some really persistent grocery cashier or barista is always hitting on him so he finally tells her he's seeing someone and she gets suspicious because he's always alone so he drags Stiles into his mess. Fluffy, cracky, happy, please.

Well! I hope you guys like it!


It was a cold Thursday night at the Supermarket in Beacon Hills, not a lot of people were shopping since it was near closing time. A few single moms, single men, and a few colleges guys shopping for snacks. Derek was the only one doing actual shopping; he did the shopping twice a week since he had to feed 5 teen wolves, an older undead wolf, three humans that eat like wolves and himself. His pack was always hungry; their excuse was that they were growing boys and girls. Derek still didn't understand how Peter fit in that explanation; however the Alpha was not interested in an answer.

When he had everything he needed, he made his way to the cash register, groaning low in his throat when he saw that Jennifer was there. She was Derek age, with long, blonde hair, a pair of blue eyes that had a playful glint in them, full, luscious pink lips and a body out of this world. She was a beautiful woman and every male that shop at the Supermarket made their way to her register.

Jennifer had her blue eyes set on Derek.

She wasn't Derek's type at all.

They were only two registers open; the express line and Jennifer's and since he had more than 20 items he had to put up with Jennifer. He made line and grunt when her eyes settle on Derek; she smiled and waved at him. The Wolf just nods to her and start playing with his iPhone. Since Jennifer started hitting on him, Derek tried to have his pack do the shopping but every time one of them did, they purchased the wrong stuff. If Boyd did it he would only buy meat and cereal, if it was Isaac he would actually buy every single piece of candy and ice cream he could find, and Erica would just get arrested for public nudity as she tend to almost have sex with the butcher in front of everyone or just blow the money on clothes. And Peter would just try to pick up every brunet with light brown eyes he could find; not minding age, gender, or sexual orientation. So, yeah, Derek is the man for the job.

"Hi, handsome, you really are a sight for sore eyes." Jennifer smile at Derek as he began to put his shopping in the register.

"…Hi." He replies and gave her a look. She ignores his attitude and urge on.

"Anyway! I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to this amazing party! Its Electro House music, maybe a bit of Dub-Step and Eurodance. Maybe not your kind of music, but want to go?" She asks him out, he glance at her and sighs. Every time she would ask him out and he would always give her the same answer.

"No, thanks." Jennifer puffs her cheeks in a way that she thought it was adorable, but Derek found it annoying as hell.

"You always blow me! Don't you find me attractive?" She actually questions him as she keeps ringing his groceries. Derek is shock at the emotion and misery the girl was emanating from her. It made him feel a bit of an asshole, but he seriously wasn't interested!

"I am sorry Jennifer, but I'm in a relationship." The girl looks at him and snorts.

"I don't see a ring."

"I ain't married, but I am with someone." Why in hell he told her that he didn't know and he knew she didn't bought his shitty lie.

"Yeaaaah, riiight. As if a girl in her right mind would let a hot piece of ass like you alone. She's gotta be crazy or frigging blind to not see the looks you get." She told him, "Till I see her, I won't stop asking you out, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Broody. And that would be $206.78 please." Derek growls at the girl, paid for his shopping and left. Jennifer was a persistent little shit! Derek growls and floors the car, he made to his house in record time. The Hale Manor, as Stiles calls it, was rebuild, painted in a soft hue of blue and dark brown woods. The pack helped rebuild it and it looked beautiful and warm.

As he got near, he saw Isaac waiting for him at the porch of the house; he tries to calm a bit his rage when he saw the cute blond bounce from foot to foot. Isaac was getting used to the house and to the other betas, and hated when Derek left for long periods of time, missing his physical connection to the Alpha. When Derek got out Isaac almost threw himself to him, but backs away when he felt the anger from his Alpha. Derek sighed and tried to calm himself. He hugs the blond, basking in the knowledge that he could touch and hug and scent mark his pack now, he now realize how much he missed that physical contact since Laura was gone.

"Why're you so mad?"

"It's nothing; I was just overeating to something." It was an half lie, and Derek knew that he could lie as smoothly as silk, however he also knew that Isaac was a smart cookie and that could totally see through his veiled true, but Isaac droops it and decide to help with the groceries.

Derek sighs again and he still could hear Jennifer's horrendous threat. "Till I see her, I won't stop asking you out, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Broody. Fucking shit. He needs to think of something and fast.


It was Thursday night, it was raining and it was cold as fuck. Stiles was sitting at his desk with his laptop on and doing some research about vampires. He needs to know if they were real, if they explode to ashes if you staked them, or if they sparkle in the sun. He was dress in a white wife beater and a pair of jeans that they had shrunk in the drier, but since he had been too lazy to do laundry he had to use them, and red Convers. The jeans were snug and they rest at his hips, showing a lot of his smooth skin and fit figure. He sighs and sprawls himself back on the chair, he scratches his head and plays with his hair, since he let his hair grow he still wasn't used to it and the need to brush it and style it with gel so it won't flop or stay flat.

Stiles was bored out of his mind, and the research was being completely fruitless, except for the Vampire-Theme porn site he found, which he was totally going to explore later. Scott was with Allison and blow him off after promising him, Stiles, a night of Mario Kart and pizza since the Sheriff was working. Stile stood from his chair and stretches his arms and back, he gives a happy sigh when his back cracked. He turns around to close his window; he lets a very manly (totally girly) scream.

Derek was standing beside his window, eyes glowing in the dim lit room.

"Jesus! Fudge! You need a fuckin' bell! Can you not knock first? My God!" Stiles complain and made his way to Derek.

"I need your help. Come with me." Stiles should feel angry at the wolf, but the urgency in the Alpha's voice made him worry for the safety of the pack…and Peter.

"It's everything alright? Let me just grab-"

"You look good like that, come." And with those words, Derek grabs Stiles by the waist and jumps out of the window; Stiles yelps and hits Derek in the back of the head.

"You fucker! I'm just human! I break easily!" The boy complains again, Derek growls at him and drags the brunet to his Camaro.

In the car, Stiles hooks his iPhone to the radio and smirks when his Alternative Rock begin to pump out of the speakers, he knew that Derek hates Alternative, so it was a bit of pay back. Derek grunts but kept quiet.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure of you kidnapping me? Couldn't get enough of my awesomeness?" Derek snorts at the comment.

"I need a favor."

"Yeah? Tell me something new, buddy. Like what's gonna happen in the new Supernatural episode? Or better yet, do vampire sparkles?"

"Can you be quiet so I can talk?"

"Yeah, yeah, you have the floor Cujo." Stiles wince when Derek growls at the nickname.

"I want you to pretend to be my lover, okay?" Silence. Derek Hale had managed to shut Stiles into an awkward silence. Derek could feel Stiles' brown, expressive eyes drilling holes at his face; his mouth was open in a shock expression. The wolf could feel the blush start on his own ears travels his cheeks and settle on his chest. He was embarrassed as hell. And at the mercy of a 17 year old kid that had the mind of an evil genius. Stiles begin to laugh, he laughs so hard he began to cry and wheeze. Derek felt like the biggest loser in town.

"Y-you! Wan-want me to be your "lover"? What the fuck, Derek! Haahahahahaahaha!" Stiles laughs and Derek still didn't found it funny.

"Just for tonight, okay! I just want the cashier to back the fuck off! I can't deal with her advances!" The explanation just made the teen laugh even more and Derek roars at him. "Forget it! Really, just, just forget it! I drop you back home." Derek was going to turn back when he felt a slender hand on his arm. He looks at the brunet besides him and he stops breathing. Stiles' eyes are shiny with mirth, his usually pale cheeks are a pretty red and his lips were cherry red.

"I'm sorry, Alpha my Alpha, but I just found it hilarious. Keep driving, I'll help you. Never had a date to the Supermarket with a hot werewolf before, and what's going on with this cashier?" Derek told him and Stiles laughs again and nods.

"I only help you coz I find it hilarious as fuck, and maybe I can see her make you squirm." They arrive to the market and made their way inside, it was a bit crowded but it was okay, it was only 7 o clock, still early. Stiles grab a shopping cart and begin playing with it; he stopped in front of Derek and pressed his chest against the Wolf. Derek could smell the soap, sweat, and the Chocolate Axe that came from the teenager body and the small spark of arousal that was always in Stiles' scent.

"Now, Der-Der, be a dear and treat me like a fake boyfriend should be treated and buy me chocolate." Derek laughs, took a box of Dove dark chocolate and threw it in the cart. Stiles smiles and begin to push the cart. He was talking a mile a minute about anything and everything, Derek responding with a grunt, a short sentence, a laugh, or with his eyebrows. The wolf didn't want to admit it, but he loved to spend time with the hyper teen. He felt normal and that he could move on with his life. He loved how the teen had become confident enough to actually have the guts to stand up to him or be as bold as to kiss him in the cheek when Derek told him he could get the whip cream.

A few classmates of Stiles were there in the Supermarket, and watch the pair with wide eyes, especially Stiles. He looks so different dress in a pair of low hung jeans and a white shirt, he was actually turning heads.

When the teen and the Wolf got to the produce part Stiles was trembling with cold.

"You're cold." Derek observed.

"Thanks for noticing Alpha Obvious. If you had let me grab my hoodie." He shut himself up when Derek gave him his leather jacket.

"Use it." Derek order and kept walking, pushing the cart. Stiles ran after him, waving at Danny when he saw him, Danny and the guys that were with him leered at the hyper kid.

"You know him?"

"He's hot, why have you not introduced us?"

"Coz I thought he was straight." Danny said and saw when Stile jump the older boy's back so he could be carried him piggy back style. Derek huffed and tries to control his wolf when he felt Stiles' legs wrap around his waist.

"You're milking this out, aren't you?"

"Um, duh! I need to gain something out of this."

When they got near the cash registers Derek groans and Stiles gives him an amuse look.

"She's hereee." He sang and giggle at Derek grumpy expression.

"Yeah, she's here. The blonde one." When Stiles looks at her, he let a low whistle that sounds shrilled to Derek's ears.

"Dude! She's hot! What the hell's your damage!?" Stiles ask in wonder.

"Kate." Derek answer and he hear Stiles' heart speed a mile. Nervous energy surrounds the boy.

"Oh, man. Fuck, I'm sorry. That's wasn't what I meant, I ugh!" Derek grabs Stiles hand and gave it a squeezed.

"It's okay. I know what you meant."

The girl looks at Derek and smiles at him; she waves a bit and returns to her customer. Stiles grab Derek's hand and drew him towards him until he could feel the older man's body plastered against his back.

"Okay, act like a doting boyfriend, Sourwolf."

"Like a doting boyfriend? How in hell do I do that?"

"Um, I don't know! Kiss my neck, or brush your hands against me, or something! I can believe I just asked you to kiss my neck, I haven't even had my first kiss!" The boy whines, Derek froze behind Stiles. He had forgotten that Stiles was virgin, that maybe he shouldn't had asked him any of this. But the boy is so warm, and smells so good, and Derek knew he was weak and that his desires were out of place…He turns Stiles towards him, he caresses a baby soft cheek while his thumb trace the full lower lip. He bends a bit and presses their lips together. It was a soft kiss, chaste, when Derek broke the kiss; Stiles give him a dazed smile and turns toward the register. He caught the eye of the blonde girl and smiles at her; she glares at Stiles and continues working.

"Now that we got the first kiss out of the way, do the doting, horny boyfriend routine." Stiles orders, Derek smiles when he hears the breathless boy order him around. As the where I the line, Derek strokes Stiles' body, his stomach, his arms, his chest, his nipples, he losses himself in the feel of his hands touching a warm body so intimately after so many years been without the touch of another, that he let his instincts run wild. When they arrive to Jennifer, Derek has his hand under Stiles' shirt, pulling at his nipples and his mouth was sucking on his neck trying to make the biggest love bite in history.

"Der, Derek we're at the register. God." Stiles moans and presses back, Derek gaze at Jennifer and let go of Stiles' succulent neck. Jennifer glares at them.


"Hi" Derek replies with a husky tone that made Stiles shiver and Jennifer blush. With difficulty Derek let go of Stiles so they could load the groceries on the register.

"So, this' your partner, Derek?" Jennifer interrogates the Wolf, Derek nods, his eyes focuses on the sliver of skin every time Stiles bend down to grab something from the cart. The pale, flawless skin calling to him, to keep touching the virgin flesh. He shook his head and ignored his wolf.

"I never peg you to be into jailbaits." She says in a cruel tone, Stiles gives her a glare.

"And you care why?"

"No reason. Hey, ain't you the underage son of the Sheriff? Does he know that you go around town with older men?" Jennifer says in a nastier tone than before. Stiles blush and Derek could smell the humiliation coming in waves from the boy, Derek growls at the girl, his eyes flashing red. Jennifer gasps and gives a step back. Stiles put himself between the two; he glares at her, grabs the front of Derek's shirt and crashes their lips together. Derek put his hands on the boy's hips, pressing him more to him; Stiles moans at the contact, it made the wolf almost go wild. Derek broke the kiss; he took out a wad of cash, threw it at Jennifer's register and took his shopping. The younger boy smirks at her.

"Maybe I'm jailbait, but I'm the one that gets to take him home." He told her, wave a good-bye, and ran after Derek; leaving a pissed off Jennifer, shock onlookers and a few arouse classmates. Stiles whooped when he sat in the Camaro on their way to Stiles' house. Derek chuckle and gaze at the kid.




"I had fun, don't worry, and you welcome!"


Anne: So…till next time!