I was sitting on my usual chair at the bar talking with Mira.
"Lucy… why are you so sad? You haven't talked with Natsu since Lisanna got back from Edolas."
"Exactly Mira. Since Lisanna is back –no offence, I know she's your sister and I'm happy she's back-…since she's back Natsu is all the time with her. We haven't been in a mission together for 3 months. I miss him Mira."-I said slaming my head on the table so hard that everyone in the guild looked at me.
"Don't be silly Lucy… Between Natsu and Lisanna is nothing. They are just really good friends."
"Yeah, right…"-the guild's doors opened and I lifted my head to see who was. It was Natsu. He was heading towards me.I wanted to get up and leave because I didn't wanted to talk with him since he doesn't even look at me because of Lisanna.
"LUCY SIT DOWN!"-he yelled seeing me getting up from the chair. I froze. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?"-I yelled sitting back on the chair. He came closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"You are my problem weirdo!"- he said kissing me on the lips. I was breathless. My face was redder than Erza's hair. "I found this."- he said giving me a piece of paper. I recognize it… it was from my diary.
*SLAP*-I was mad at him for reading my diary so I slapped him. "Why did you read my diary Natsu?"- I asked him with a killing look on my face.
"Because I wanted to know why you don't talk to me anymore."- he said rubbing his cheek.
"Well you could just ask me!"
"When? I barely see you."
"It's not my fault you are all the time with Lisanna!"- I yelled. Words just came out of my mouth. When I realized what I just said I looked around me. Lisanna was sitting behind Natsu.
"I-I'm sorry Lisanna… I'm really s-sorry…"- but she started to laugh.
"You are funny Lucy. All Natsu does is telling me how much he likes y-"- she didn't get time to finish because Natsu said "Shut up Lisanna. You are the one who is telling me how much you like La-"- he didn't get time to finish either because Lisanna yelled "SHUT UP NATSU!"" and she started to blush madly.
"Anyways…"- Natsu said turning his head to look at me. "So, I found this."- he said taking back the paper from my hand. He run towards the stage and took the microphone."This is what Lucy thinks."- he said and after that he started to read what I wrote on the paper.:
I'm attracted to people I can't have. He left me here all by myself and now he's far away with someone else. It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does. It just hurts so bad to know that the person you love doesn't want you, will never give you a chance, and that you never had a chance to begin with. It hurts to be a teenager, to watch the person you like walk in and out of your life and you just want to kiss them every time you see them but you know they don't feel the same. Being secretly in love with him is the hardest feeling. I get hurt, I get jealous, I cry and I get broken but the saddest part is he don't even know about it. Out of all the people I've ever met he is the one who makes me draw those silly little hearts on my papers. When I see him my heart melts but then I see him with her and my heart hardens into stone. I can't talk to him anymore. When I talk to him I realize how much I love him and when I realize how much I love him, I realize I can't have him and that makes me love him even more. And I just don't want that happening. It would hurt more than it already does. I'm holding on to the thought that he's not mine. I'm going to look him in the eyes, smile and say "you're not mine". Then I'll walk away, turn around at the last moment and say "but I wish you were." Sometimes all you can do is walk away, hide your tears, and just pretend you're okay. Life is unfair. There are times when I'd stare at the sky at night and wonder why he is my entire universe when I'm not even a little star in his. I want to be the girl he can't stop dreaming about, talking or smiling about, the girl that's there for him when he needs me, the girl who brings out that faithful side of him, the girl who makes him laugh, the girl who he can pick out of millions and say "she's the one I want", the girl who can pick him up when he's down, the girl he trust his heart with. I want to be his realist who he can love unconditionally, but most importantly I want to be his future and his forever. If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of his breath on my neck, the warmth of his lips on my cheek, the touch of his fingers on my skin and the feel of his heart beating with mine. Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone onther than him.
What can I do… I am madly deeply truly passionately in love with Natsu Dragneel!"
After he finished everyone in the guild stared at me. I started to cry. I was ashamed.
"H-how could you do that? It was my diary. You had no right to do this. What do you want to prove with this? That I'm stupid and I love someone who would never love me back? Well you're right. I'm stupid. I HATE YOU NATSU DRAGNEEL!"- I yelled and run out the guild but I didn't got far because he caught me. He wrapped his hands around me and hugged me tight. At first I struggled to get free. But the warmth of his chest soon calm me down. I cried in his arms fo 10 minutes. After I finished she lifted my chin with his fingers and gazed in my eyes. He wiped my tears with his thumb. I could see love in his eyes. I thought my heart is gonna jump out of my chest. He kissed me on the lips and whispered in my ear "I love you Lucy Heartfilia. Don't you ever run away from me! I will always love you."- after those beautiful words he claimed my lips again with a passionaly kiss.
Now I was his and he was mine.