DATE WRITTEN: 4/14/13
TITLE: People Lie, Things Die
ANIME: El Cazador de la Bruja
PAIRING: Yuri: Nadie/Ellis
STATUS: Oneshot: Completed
RELATED STORIES: None
WARNINGS: Mentions of sex between two females, mentions of violence, trigger warnings for heartbreak.
~Nothing in your life is constant except yourself~
They say love lasts forever. What they don't say, is that the one you love won't last forever.
I'm not a little girl, I don't believe in Fairytales and I definitely didn't want to be the helpless damsel in distress, waiting for a man to pave my path to freedom. I didn't need that. I could be fine on my own. I had been all my life, what would change my independent lifestyle? Nothing could tie me down. I wouldn't be responsible for anything and I would not fall for those traps people set.
But then, she came along.
And she ruined everything.
Her blonde hair and deep blue eyes, I still swear, they almost looked purple. She was the epitome of innocence. Something that I, the purest definition of sin, should have never even crossed paths with. But I did. And I did much more than that. She came to me as an angel, but when she left; even I wasn't sure what she was anymore.
Ha, you're supposed to focus on the good times, right? Oh, sure, we had plenty of those. Damn good times. Her laughter was contagious, she was fascinated by the most infinitesimal of things. Butterflies, a bird's song, even bubbles. I think she could look inside a bubble, and see an entirely new universe within it. Exactly the way I could look into her eyes and see my past, future, and present. That's the effect she had. She made you want to repent your sins and change, and you would see every wrong you have ever done in your life inside those knowing, universal eyes. And hell if she didn't make you feel like the smallest thing in the world.
In reality, I think she may have been a wolf in sheep's clothing. That girl could knock you flat on your face if you hurt something she cared about. I was proud when one of those "somethings" became me. I had spent my nineteen years of life only worried about me, myself, and I. Providing for myself, taking care of myself, worrying about myself.
She was only sixteen, but she was wise beyond her years. She was only a little girl, but she was far from human. Everything about her screamed at me, inhuman perfection. Her soft pale skin, indigo eyes deeper than the oceans ran, her silken hair the color of the hot desert sand I walked on, her innocent, chime-like laughter. The way she would smile at me and ask me those naïve questions. What a lie, she was not naïve. She knew far too much for a kid. I should have left her alone, but when I took up taking care of her, I wasn't aware she was a fatality waiting to happen.
She tore them down like a tank.
My walls, the walls I built to keep everyone out. Everyone else was bad, they wanted money or sex or to hurt you for no good reason. Because you weren't beautiful enough, smart enough, rich enough, good enough. Spit on them, I turned out damn fine. I hated them all and only interacted if I needed to, for money or food. I didn't need them, and what they needed me for was no good to me. I had learned when I was little that you would lose everything you cared about. Mom? She'll pass. Dad? He'll leave. Pets? Those die real quick, and they can't take care of themselves so it will always be on you to make sure they're fine. Family will die, friends will leave, animals will die, objects will break, homes will be taken away, cars will crash, and jobs will be lost. It will all be torn straight from your hands and soul. So, I learned if you didn't have anything, you wouldn't lose anything. I didn't settle down. I wouldn't let anyone leave me or take away my house, so I didn't give them anything to steal. And god damn her for taking her little hammer and tapping on my walls. She made cracks. So little, I thought nothing of them, I didn't think they were dangerous.
But look what happened.
Suddenly, she pounded her little hammer and shattered the walls. They broke, and I could only watch in horror as she stepped over the debris and into my life, staring up at me with her stupid, all-seeing eyes.
That first day she was in danger. I put everything on the line for her. My life, my money, my everything. I wasn't supposed to have anything for her to steal. But she did. She stole it all. I protected her, I took a bullet for her, I killed and fought tooth and nail to keep us together and out of harm's way.
That first day she kissed me. It was night and the moon was full, staring down at us humans to pass her judgment. I looked back at her, the lunar goddess could judge all she wanted. My place in hell was promised. I turned my head at the call of my name, shocked when soft lips pressed hard against mine. It was an amateur kiss, her first, but she was determined and passionate. I put myself into damnation. I kissed back.
That first day I turned her white wings black. We were in an abandoned hotel. She took that short dress off, saying it was hot. I looked her up and down. She was pretty, she was filling out well. She walked up to me and asked if I was hot, as my face was red. She took my shawl off. I took the bait and shed my other clothes. That night was the heart of what sin was.
She stole it all. And she left. My body and heart, my tears and emotion. She picked me apart like a doll-maker and chose my most important parts, and she left.
I love you, Nadie.
You're a liar.
When she found what she wanted, she turned to me and spoke to me those words that would only leave a demon's filthy mouth, not my angel's… But I stole that angel and I consumed it. She did exactly what those disgusting and untrustworthy humans are supposed to do. I thought she was different, she wasn't human… But she thought like one and she was greedy like one. She said my time was done, and that she no longer needed a pawn. She was safe and knew what her life was now.
It is dangerous for you.
Being around you was.
Nothing is ever secure in life. Everything can go wrong. Do you think someone is healthy? They can die. Do you think someone is trustworthy? They can lie.
The Devil used to be an angel, and I'm the one that made her into the ruler of Hell.
I'll see you there… Ellis.
I am very heartbroken and depression is at its worst at this point and I really couldn't decide whether or not to do a sad story or write a good one to take my mind off of it. It's better than a couple of other alternatives. I chose good, because it does no one well to wallow in misery. But while it is good, it still has my sorrow wrapped into it. To help me let it go.
I think I'm losing my best friend. We won't be able to talk and I don't know when I'll see her again. I dwell on the worst case scenario, but… What if I don't get to see her again, if she has to move? People always told me I shouldn't get attached to anyone because nothing and no one in your life will ever be a constant promise. You will always have yourself, but people, animals, objects. They all leave eventually. I say this to you as a lesson, but something else I know that I need to say is; it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Do you know why? Because when you're sad, you have to have something to remember. Experience, memories, it's a part of the human life. Your heart is always going to make stupid decisions without your consent, so if you develop relationships with someone, all I can say is don't be sad if it comes to an end. Because you had it, and while you had it I hope it was wonderful.
Another lesson I feel everyone really needs to learn but never pays attention to; always be grateful for what you have. You never know what tomorrow brings.