This is a one shot for a chapter story I'm planning on writing. Had some help from Wikipedia for some of the questions. This is just for fun so if you don't like it don't read, this is my play time in the transformers world. It's possible other one shots will join this one, but that depends on my muse. Enjoy, read and review!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything 'cept Megan, my OC.
Quit while you're ahead, all the best gamblers do. -Baltasar Gracian y Morales
"I'm just saying that there's no way that a little squishy like you can do it without help."
"Is that so?"
"Ya, it's so. You squishies may be naturally confusing but there's no way you can get Prowl to fritz his processor on purpose."
"Sam, Mikayla and Miles managed it in one conversation he happened to overhear."
"That doesn't count. Miles is odd even by your human standards, and he had backup from Sam and Mikayla. What I'm saying is that no single human could fritz Prowler intentionally."
"Careful Sides', don't wanna break your voice processor with all those big words now do you?"
"Watch it squishy."
"I have a name you know. Quit calling me squishy."
"Make me squishy."
"Ok, how about a bet?"
"…what kind of bet?"
"I have five minutes to make Prowls processor fritz. If I win you have to stop calling me squishy and no pranks on base for at least two weeks. If I lose you can have all the washes and waxes your heart desires for two weeks. Sound fair?"
"Make it all the washes and waxes me and Sunny could want and you have a deal."
Prowl of course had no idea what was in store for him when aforesaid human came walking innocently into his office. He also had no idea that the elder twins were waiting just down the hall with a timer set for five minutes. He acknowledged the little femme with a nod of his helm, but didn't turn his attention away from the data packs set into neat piles in front of him.
"Good morning." He rumbled, still not turning away from his work.
"Sorry to bother you but I have a bit of a problem. You see my English teacher gave us some word problems we're supposed to solve but I can't make any sense of the questions." She held up a paper that had a number of questions printed on it, whipped up in a hurry for the bet.
"I've asked the other bots and they don't understand the questions either, so I was hoping maybe you could help me out. I figured the bot with the best logic processor on base could make these questions make sense. You don't have to if you don't want to, I can always ask my teacher on Monday." She shrugged her shoulders and did her best to look disappointed.
Prowl vented a sigh, and looked up from his work to the little human.
"I suppose could dedicate a portion of my circuits to your problems for a few minutes."
He turned his attention back to the data packs. The human gave a smile that was so reminiscent of the twins that had Prowl seen it he may have had more warning about what was going to happen. Unfortunately for him he missed it. The human straightened the paper and made as if to write what Prowl told her.
"Ok so first question is, 'If a tree falls in the forest with no one there to hear it fall, does it make a sound?'."
Prowls hands slowed over his data packs, his optics dimming slightly, but they quickly brightened as if nothing had happened.
"Sound is created by waves of pressure passing through the air. This process happens regardless if there is an audio receptor there to hear it."
"That's true," the human hummed. "But one could argue that sound only exists as sound when perceived as sound through the ears, other wise it is just vibrations in the air."
Prowl felt his logic processor give a mighty lurch, his servos pausing on the data packs as he tried to not think about the new view-point the human had pointed out and the flaw in his thinking. The human acting as if completely oblivious to his problem scribbled something down on her paper before turning back to him.
"Ok, next question is, 'Could an omnipotent being create a rock that even it couldn't lift?'."
Prowls movements ceased completely now, as his processor dedicated a few thousand of his circuits to the problem, instead of the few he had thought it would take. His optics flickered between dim and bright, like someone was playing with a light switch.
'Either the omnipotent being can create a rock it cannot lift and cease to be omnipotent, or it cannot create a rock it cannot lift it would also cease to be omnipotent. So really omnipotence is dependent on if omnipotence is logically possible or not.' Prowl's processor spun in circles, he tried to clamp down on the wayward thoughts but his processor couldn't let it go. The human looked up at him, had he been paying attention to her he would have seen the mischievous glance she had thrown at his still form.
"Why don't we come back to that one?" She said with all the innocence of a sparkling.
"Next question asks 'What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?'."
Prowl could now feel the processor ache coming on. He shuttered his optics and ran a servo over his face plates trying to relieve the static build up in his helm. His processor was running faster than the little human in front of him could imagine and yet she could come up with questions that could stump even his logic circuits.
"Pass." He said, his words almost sounding strained.
"Next question, 'If someone who always lies says 'I'm lying', does that make them a liar?'."
A single spark jumped from Prowl's helm. Prowl, of course was to busy trying to keep himself from over heating his circuitry to notice, but the little human troublemaker saw it and smiled.
"Ok Prowl. Last question and then I'll leave you alone ok?"
Prowl regarded the small organic with dim optics. All he could want right now was for the little femme to leave so he could get his processor on straight and his work finished. Not even pretending now to be writing down answers to her questions she met his gaze with mischievous hazel eyes.
"How is a raven like a writing desk?"
The sound of Cybertronian metal hitting the floor rang through the hallway out where the twins stood. Sideswipe glanced at his timer in surprise.
"Well paint me surprised. She actually did it in less than five minutes. It only took her three!"
The human femme in question took that moment to walk calmly and casually into the hall, a happy smile on her face. She stopped at the feet of the twins and beamed up at them.
"You might want to comm Ratchet or Prowl might not be getting up anytime soon." She said cheerily before continuing on her way.
She paused before rounding the corner and called back at them.
"Oh, and Sides! What's my name?"
"Megan." He mumbled sullenly.
"What? I can't hear you Sides." She said mockingly.
"I get it Megan, I won't call you squishy anymore."
"That's right you won't. I'll see you guys later then, stay out of trouble."
Sunstreaker politely waited until Megan had rounded the corner before turning to his twin.
"Nice job bro. You lost a bet to a human."
:Sideswipe to Ratchet.:
:What in the name of the Pit have you done now?:
:Nothing… but, you might want to head over to Prowl's office. Looks like he fried his logic processor again.:
:And you and your infernal twin wouldn't have anything to do with that would you now Sideswipe?:
:Honestly Ratchet this time it wasn't us! Megan did it.:
:Humans may be naturally confusing but I somehow doubt that a single human could intentionally fry Prowl's processor. You two are getting the wrench for this one.:
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