Heavy Heart, Weightless Cloud
Pairing: Rachel Berry x Jenny Schecter
Crossover: Glee x The L Word
Rating: M(For language, sexuality, and mature content)
Summary: Alternate Universe – Rachel followed her boyfriend Jesse St. James after graduation, living in Los Angeles seemed like an amazing idea at the time until the flames between the two eventually died out. Now on her own, Rachel finds herself auditioning for minor roles around the L.A. area until she eventually lands a job as a personal assistant – to none other than the infamous Jenny Schecter. As the two work closer together, a connection is formed and the two find themselves in a passionate love affair. The passionate relationship, however, soon evolves into an abusive relationship as Jenny loses sight of herself, becoming controlling and possessive. With Rachel unwilling to leave Jenny's side, will she eventually learn to let go?
"Addicted to the love I found
Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud…"
Rachel sighed as she flipped through the newspaper articles she had been reading after being utterly disappointed with the jobs section of the classified ads. Sitting across from her, Jesse looked up from the assignment he'd been working on for one of his classes and raised a brow at his former flame's obvious frustration. "What's the source of your vexation this time, love?" He inquired, setting his lap top off to the side in order to dissect Rachel's brain. The petite singer held his gaze for a moment before deciding it was time to finally vent out to her best friend about everything that had been on her mind in the past few weeks since their breakup. Yes, she had followed him to UCLA after they both graduated from their respected schools to further their careers in the performing arts as well as invest in their romantic relationship but the latter hadn't worked out quite as well as they had thought. While Rachel was thriving in school and excelling in all of her classes, with the exception of dance, the former glee diva was not completely fulfilled.
Jesse was in his senior year, he held a part time job as a video editor for a company he assured Rachel was confidential so aside from his busy schedule, the connection between the two eventually died out much to the petite singer's dismay. It was too late for her to go back to Lima, however, so the two managed a friendship for the time being until Jesse was ready to fully commit to Rachel once more. The young ingénue played with her fingers, nervously chewing on her bottom lip before she found the right words to say. "Jesse, you know I love you, I love living here in L.A. with you and I'm happy with what we've got working for us. It's just that…I'm not, well, I don't know how to put it into words as you can tell. I'm struggling, babe. I've got classes and homework to keep me focused but on my days off, I'm all alone waiting for you to come home from work. It's so difficult finding a job and you really haven't been supportive. I don't want to play the doting housewife role anymore. Do you get what I'm saying?"
Rachel made a face, the one Jesse knew he could never resist so in turn he made a similar expression not to mock her but to convey his helplessness in the situation. He reached over the table and playfully ran his fingers up and down over Rachel's forearm before he enveloped her palm in his own. "Rach, what is it that you want me to do? We brought up the idea of having you go back to Lima so you could audition for NYADA to your fathers but they oppose the financial strain they'd be under. You don't want that, they don't want that, and I certainly don't want you to be on the other side of the country away from me. California is expensive but the jobs out here are minimal and honey, you need years of experience to work in the simplest jobs. I'm trying to pull some strings for you, love, but please bear with me." Jesse told her gently, bringing Rachel's hand up to his lips before kissing it. He sighed and batted his eyelashes, causing Rachel to smirk before she swatted him away.
"You almost made California living sound glamorous when you say it like it that. I don't know, Jesse. I'll keep trying because I know it would mean a lot to you if I could help pay the bills in any way. I also need something to keep me busy when I'm not in class." Rachel replied, eyes shifting to the window before returning back to her best friend. Jesse bit down on his lower lip before he found the right words to say in turn. "I told you that you needn't worry about such trifle things but I suppose if all those extracurricular activities aren't enough for you, then I say we should take some time this evening to look for job postings online." Jesse said with a small smile, enjoying the same affectionate smile play on his former love's lips. Rachel bounced excitedly in her seat, clapped her hands a few times before throwing her arms across the table to envelop Jesse in an awkwardly positioned embrace.
"You're the best! Okay, okay. Well, first of all, I need to get ready for Ms. July's class and when I come back after being worked like a dog, I'll shower, we'll cuddle and look for openings about becoming an extra on any upcoming films. Otherwise, I'll stick to something practical for way below minimum wage." Rachel said in one breath before she shot out of the chair to enter their shared bedroom. The young man left alone in the dining room simply sighed and ran a hand through his curls. "She's a piece of work, St. James, but she's worth it." He thought to himself before returning to his assignment.
The Planet – 7:49 P.M.
The unusual rush that had befallen the popular gay and lesbian hot spot in West Hollywood was finally coming to an end, giving Kit Porter a chance to enjoy her last break with her favorite regulars. Barring the absence of both Jenny and Tina, the entire group had made it with much gossip to be spread around. "Well fuck me sideways, Jenny finally decided to spare us her presence this evening. Gotta say she's missing out because I spent all day thinking about the dialogue I could provide for her in her next book regarding my character: Fuckity fuck cock sucker mother fuck incest blah blah blah shit balls. Brilliant, am I right or am I right?" Alice asked with sarcasm dripping heavily with each and every word. The girls shared a laugh, Bette rolling her eyes at her friend's inability to maintain maturity at her age. Tasha smirked and wrapped an arm around the petite woman, leaning in and adding, "If I recall correctly, you spent the entire day on your back screaming my name and clawing my back. Am I on point or am I on fucking point?"
Shane burst out laughing at her best friend's expense, Bette stammering at the disturbing image of Alice engaging in sexual intercourse playing in the back of her mind, and Alice remained unperturbed, no blush in sight. "Hey, what makes you think I wasn't thinking about that important piece of character development during our morning romp? When you're having sex, that's when you think about the most meaningful things in life. It's awesome, I can think of no better time than when having an orgasm to think about that kind of stuff." Helena nearly spat out the coffee she had been gulping down during the conversation, taking a minute to absorb the information Alice had shared with the group. "Fuckity fuck shit balls mother fuck are the most brilliant things you can come up with when Tasha is inside you? Really, Alice, have you no shame?" The classy woman asked, an equal amount of sarcasm drowning her tone of voice.
As laughter erupted in the cafe, two familiar women made their way to their usual table looking frantic and displeased. When Alice looked up, the smile upon her face quickly faded as Jenny looked down upon her before the prissy woman sat down across from her. The two women shared an interesting love/hate relationship but ever since Jenny became absorbed with the typical Hollywood fame and success following her best selling novel, she became nearly intolerable; to be honest, if it wasn't for Shane, Alice would have done away with Jenny a long time ago. Tina's hair was mildly disheveled but Bette paid no mind as she stood up to greet the woman with a tender hug and "friendly" peck on the cheek. The amount of sexual tension in the room rose rapidly with these two consistently dancing around each other despite the issues both of them possess.
"Kit, darling, I'll take a low-fat white chocolate latte, regular size please. I'll also add a vanilla biscotti to that order as well. Thanks, you're a doll." Jenny said, as she laid out her planner and purse on the table, disturbing the space of those who sat beside her. Kit merely raised her brows before she stood up from the chair she had barely sat down on five minutes ago. "Your order is on the way, your highness."
As Jenny began unloading a few things from her purse, Tina sighed as she attempted to attract the other woman's attention. "Jenny, I don't think you understand how vital it is to be present during the auditions for the movie. The producers want the actors and actresses reflecting us, or Lez Girls, in a realistic manner that grips our audience. You need to set your priorities straight." Tina's suppressing the stress in her voice but it doesn't seem to be working. Jenny, on the other hand, didn't seem to be fazed by the pressure her partner was applying. She smirked as she continued to look through her purse, pretending to be looking for an object she didn't need in that moment in order to annoy Tina. That was working quite well. "…I don't know what you're rambling about, Tina. When did I ever say that I wasn't going to be present for the auditions. Don't take me for some fucking idiot."
Shane introduced her palm to her face at that moment, knowing exactly what her best friend was doing. Goading Tina was not a good thing to do but Jenny was never too shy for confrontation. She thrived on drama, breathed drama so if nothing interesting was going on in her life Jenny would find a way to somehow bring it to life.
Tina's jaw clenched, unintentionally slamming her hands down on the table which startled some of the girls sitting beside her.
"Don't take you for a fucking idiot? You've got to be kidding me. If anyone's undermining anyone around here, it's you. Just this morning you sent me a text saying you weren't interested in studying the performances for some of the actresses who wish to portray you in Lez Girls. Do you want me to show you the text you fucking asshole?" She hissed, tension quickly rising in the air. Jenny simply smirked and looked up, meeting Tina's intense glare.
"You're quite the professional using such mundane language to speak to me like that. Do you feel like an adult when you color your vocabulary with such childish profanity? Besides, I don't know what you're talking about. Why wouldn't I be interested in the auditions? In fact, I posted a few ads on the internet looking for a personal assistant, one who doesn't piss me off and a few ads regarding the roles available for Lez Girls. What makes you think I could trust you to find me an actress who isn't some half retarded high school dropout cunt who thinks she could play somebody as emotionally vulnerable as I?" Jenny responded with an amused glint in her eye.
"You self serving, narcissistic piece of shit!" Tina screeched, jumping up from her seat only to be restrained by Bette who decided enough was enough. Everybody knew Jenny was simply playing a game, one that aggravated each and every one of them. It was never a good idea to give Tina a hard time when she was under stress because she too could become just as intolerable as Jenny. When Bette and Shane finally managed to pull Tina away from the table, Alice picked up her jaw from the floor and turned to look at Jenny.
"Oh my god, it's like we've all died and gone to Hell. Jenny Schecter is the fucking devil. How do you live with yourself treating people this way?" While her tone was playful, the question was quite serious. If Jenny was unhappy with her life in some form, she made it her duty to make the lives around her just as miserable. However, when she was happy, she was quite a decent person to be around. Despite her success, Jenny was miserable and there was nothing anyone could do to change that fact, no matter how much they tried.
"Don't exaggerate so much, Alice. While I appreciate Tina's hand in my rising success, she doesn't quite get the bigger picture here. If this movie is going to be done right, it's going to be done my way and if I have to be a fucking asshole about it as she so eloquently put it, then so be it." Jenny replied tersely, presenting a piece of paper she'd pulled from her purse.
Alice rolled her eyes at the typical response she'd expected from her "friend" and carefully unfolded the flyer. Reading it over, she looked up and simply shook her head. "You created your own ad seeking talented actresses to audition for Lez Girls and you didn't tell Tina about this? Do you enjoy pissing people off to the point they want to murder you or what because I still don't understand how someone could possibly function this way."
When Kit finally returned with Jenny's order, Jenny took the latte from her friend's hands and took a sip before she decided to reply. "What can I say? I like to shake things up a bit and if the ride's too bumpy for you baby then I kindly suggest you get off. Life's too short to be wound up so goddamn tight." Jenny whispered, the smirk turning into a frown before she turned her head the other direction. Life felt like a waste of time. She was rising to the top yet she had no one to share her success with. Sometimes she can't help herself for being who she is. She's bored. She's horny. She's lonely. Jenny wants happiness just as much as her friends seem to have and it feels like it's impossible for her to earn that right. Whatever. If they can't handle her friendship, then they should have abandoned her long ago just like everybody else.