Have you ever walked into a room and know instantly that everyone was just
talking about you? Have you ever had it happen eight times in a row?
It was Monday, the day back at school after Mr. Shue's failed Valentine's day
wedding. All the Glee kids had skipped out on Friday, February 15. Mostly
because some of us had been sneaking drinks at the hotel during the wedding
and had horrible hang overs, but mostly just because we had all stayed out so
late that school the next day didn't seem like the best idea. With today being our
first day all together again all any of us could talk about was what happened the
previous weekend. We were catching up and sharing our opinion on the
wedding. But how did any of that have to do with me, and how did it explain
why everyone suddenly went silent as soon as I walked into the choir room?
I walked in, Sam at my side, and everyone fell to a sudden and awkward silence.
I glanced over to Same, my eyes wide with question. He just smiled back softly
and took my hand in his. He wasn't helping, I had a feeling that he knew what
was up, but I didn't expect he was going to tell me. If he hadn't already then he
didn't plan to, it seemed.
We took our seats in the middle row, next to Tina and Blaine. I sunk into my
chair, bashfully looking down to my sneakers as everyone tried to keep from
staring. They tried to seem casual and a few people began to strike up small talk
with one another, trying to escape from the awkward cloud that hung over the
room, but I knew their minds were still planted on whatever they had just been
I racked my brain for anything that might have come up concering me over the
past few days. Did I do something embaressing at the party that I don't
remember happened? I had a few drinks, but I didn't get drunk. I don't think I
did anything out of the ordinary. Actually, I thought the wedding went well -
y'know, despite the fact that Ms. Pillsbury ditched Mr. Shue at the altar. But
other than that I thought all the Glee kids really enjoyed themselves. I even took
turns dancing with everyone. So what was up?
I slowly glanced up to spot at least three of the New Directioners staring at me
again, they adverted their gazes quickly as soon as they noticed that I saw them.
That was it, "What?!" I spit out, sitting up straight in my chair. I threw my arms
up slightly in frustration, breaking my hand away from Sam's in the process.
Everyone froze again, and silence filled the room. Some slowly looked at me
and others hid their face, looking down ashamed. I looked around at everyone,
trying to find an answer. Finally I turned my attention to Tina. She would tell me
what was up, wouldn't she?
She saw me looking at her and gave me a small smile. Tina brushed at her 80's
style dress, straightening it out nervously. "Tina?" I said in a firm voice,
interrupting her figiting.
She sighed and looked down, "We were all talking about Santana, when you
walked in." She admitted, her voice low and quite.
My heart stuttered at the mention of her name. Santana and I had broken up
over a month ago and I was with Sam now. I still had feelings for Santana, yes. I
mean, I would always love her. She's still my best friend. Though . . we haven't
really talked much lately. But, that's besides the point! What did Santana have to
do with anything?
I looked at Tina, shrugging. "Sooo?" I drew the word out, trying to show her
that I needed her to elaborate more. Tina huffed a bit at my reply, she looked
straight at me now.
"About Santana and Quinn, at Mr. Shue's wedding." She said in a thin voice.
My mind kicked into gear, thinking over what happened at the wedding. I
remembered seeing Santana with Quinn a lot that night. They sat next to each
other during the ceremony and also spent a lot of time together during the party
afterwards. But it didn't seem out of character from how they normally acted
together. In fact, I was glad to see Santana having fun.
I shook my head, still not seeing the issue. "Okay, and?" I said, annoyance
shinning in my voice this time.
Tina half-rolled her eyes at me. "Brittany, they hooked up after the wedding."
She said quickly. Maybe Tina hadn't said it so quickly but it sounded off in my
head in a fast blur. Her words swirled around for a moment in a haze and it took
a moment for me to register that I was still in the choir room, everyone's gaze
glued to me and reading my reaction. I must have looked sick, I felt sick.
My stomach turned at the news and vivid image of Santana and Quinn together,
kissing and touching, ran through my mind. Yup. I felt sick. I stood up quickly,
throwing my bag-pack over my shoulder. My legs quivered at the movement and
I fought to keep standing.
"I, uh . ." My words wouldn't form, I was focusing too hard on trying not to
faint. Instead I just shook my head hard and walked out of the room. Sam called
after me but I ignored him, running down the hall once I exited the choir room.
I raced to the girl's bathroom, tears beginning to blind my vision as I crashed
through the door and threw my bag down on top of the sinks. I looked into the
mirror, my face was hot and red around my eyes. Dammit. I wiped at the tears,
trying to make them disappear for good. It was ridiculous that I was crying,
right? I mean Santana and I had broken up and I was with Sam now. It's not fair
for me to cry about this. Or feel utterly and completely pissed off that she slept
with Quinn. Of all people, too, Quinn.
In a rush of fury I dug through my bag, searching for my phone. I punched at
the touch-screen and hit Santana's name, calling her. The phone rang five times
before cutting to voice-mail.
Santana's voice called out in a joyous falsetto, "Hey, it's San! Sorry I couldn't
get your call, leave me a message and if you're lucky I'll call you back. Thanks."
I could imagine her smirking as she recorded the message, winking playfully as
she teased the listener, saying that they had to be worthy of her returned call.
My heart sank, at the thought. Was I worthy?
I gathered my things and walked out of the bathroom after wiping any excess
tears off my face. I headed away from the choir room and towards the parking
lot. I was just going to skip fourth period and Glee practice. I wasn't really in the
mood to deal with school things right now. I just wanted to go home and sleep.
I got in my car and drove home, the ride was short and quite. I didn't bother
turning on the radio, my thoughts were so loud it wasn't worth it. I wouldn't be
able to focus on what was playing anyway.
Once home I went straight to my room, turned on the TV and plopped down on
the bed. Lord Tubbington meowed at me sonorously, trying to get my attention
but I ignored him. "Not now, Lord. I'm not feeling too hot." I said in an
inflectionless tone, my face buried into the pillow.
He huffed and jumped down from my bed, waddling over to his Kitty-Kastle
play set. I lay there for a while, quite, with the resonant murmuring of the TV in
the background. I didn't pay attention to what was going on, I wasn't even
facing the right way to be able to watch it. But I didn't care. I didn't feel like
moving or doing anything for that matter.
I closed my eyes, they were heavy from crying, and slowly I drifted to sleep.