This was my contribution to the Fandom for Hope and Relief compilation. Thanks to those that donated to read early and my apologies for forgetting I could post it about a month ago to the others! To the hosts of the compilation thanks for taking the time to create it and raise money for a worthy cause.

This would be shit if it weren't for the following: KniNut, Missy and Kenny for pre-reading and Mid for fixing my mistakes and shit. Also special thanks to Kenny's kids... she knows why :D Missy made me a beautiful banner. If I can figure out how to post it here I will!

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

8:00 a.m.

The sound of Bella throwing up woke me. Glancing at the clock, I'm surprised Jack and Ryder aren't up already. I can't help Bella through this portion of pregnancy, so I decide I will help in the one way I can. Getting breakfast ready for everyone. I grab the monitor and leave the room, pulling on a shirt as I go.

I hustle down the stairs, surprised to hear the television on. Poking my head in the family room, I see my three and a half year old son Ryder lying on the couch with his thumb in his mouth. On the television in front of him, an episode of Paw Patrol plays on what I have to assume is Netflix.

"Buddy," I whisper. "How come you didn't wake Mommy or Daddy like you're supposed to?"

Smiling at me around his thumb, he shrugs, then goes back to watching TV.

"You want to come help Daddy make breakfast?" I ask.

He shakes his head at me, pointing at the television. I chuckle to myself and walk into the kitchen to set about making some breakfast.

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

8:30 a.m.

I'm stirring pancake batter at the counter when Ryder comes running into the kitchen slamming himself into my legs. I look down at him laughing.

"I help, Daddy?" he asks, holding up his arms.

I pick him up and sit him on the counter beside the bowl. He grabs the spoon and starts stirring.

"Where's Mommy and Jack?" he asks me.

"Mommy's in the washroom and Jack's still sleeping."

"Mommy sick again?" He pouts as he asks.

"She is, buddy. Your baby brother or sister isn't being very nice to Mommy this morning. He or she is making her tummy sick."

He makes a face at that. "I'll tell baby be good."

I ruffle his hair. Hearing a cry from upstairs, I pluck him off the counter. "Let Daddy go get Jack, then we'll make everyone pancakes."

"K, Daddy. I go watch toons again."

I take the stairs two at a time, reaching the top as Bella comes out of our room freshly showered.

"Feel better, baby?" I ask, kissing her on the forehead and rubbing her stomach.

"Tons." She sighs. "Man this one is worse than Ryder and Jack put together. I hope I don't get sick every day of the weekend."

I give her a good, long look, starting at her feet and working my way up. I pause at the area underneath the small bump she is sporting, then trail my gaze up, stopping at her luscious tits, before looking her in the eye and running my tongue slowly across my bottom lip. The motion causes her to glance at my lip. "It won't matter, baby. Sick or not, I will have my way with you at some point."

She moans, and I laugh, turning into Jack's room.

"So not fair, Edward!" she calls after me.

"Go down and watch cartoons with Ryder. Jack and I will be down in a minute and I'll make breakfast."

"Da-da-da." Jack squeals when she sees me.

"Come here, stinky," I say, grabbing her out of the crib and making her giggle. "Let's get you changed and go have pancakes."

"Cakes!" she repeats, clapping her hands.

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

9:30 a.m.

The kids are a sticky mess by the time we're finished breakfast. I tell Bella to give them a bath while I finish packing for us. We're taking the time to go away this weekend, just us. With two, soon to be three, kids under the age of four, I figure it will be good to get Bella away.

Seth is going to watch the kids for us. To be honest, he isn't my first choice; hell no, Jasper and Maria were going to look after the kids, but her doctor put her on bedrest, and none of us want to take any chances with her or their baby's health.

I have just finished packing when Bella comes in with the kids. Ryder's hair is in his favorite hairstyle, the Mohawk, and he's wearing his "If you think I'm cute you should see my sister" shirt with a pair of camo cargo pants and little Docs. Jack's shirt reads, "If you think I'm cute you should see my brother" with a purple skirt and her Docs.

I am going to miss the kids while we're gone, and we've never gone away at the same time either. I can tell Bella is just as nervous about it as I am. The doorbell rings, signaling Seth's arrival, and he doesn't even wait for us to open the door before walking in.

"Hey guys? I'm here," he calls up the stairs. "Let the fun begin!"

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

10:30 a.m.

"Holy shit, I thought your parents would never leave!" I groan. "They act as if I'm not a responsible person or something. As if I don't have my own fucking kid—am I right?"

I glance down, and Jack is grinning up at me. Ryder, on the other hand, is scowling, his hand held out in front of him.

"You sayed bad words, Uncle Seth," he says, opening and closing his fist. "You gotta give me four dollars for the swear jar."

I laugh and dig around in my pocket. I pull out a twenty and hand it to him. "Here you go, little man. That should buy me the whole weekend."

His eyes get really big. "I never saw a monies with a two on it."

"Really?" I ask. "Well, your dad must be real good about not swearing around you then."

Ryder nods his head in agreement.

Your dad is a giant pussywhipped ass,I think to myself. Imagine big old Edward afraid of his tiny, little wife to the point where he won't even swear in his own house, I scoff internally.

I look over at Jack, and she's still grinning up at me, thumb stuck in her mouth.

"You don't need that thumb in there, missy! Take it out!" I pick her up and throw her in the air, making her giggle and squeal.

"Me next, me next, Uncle Seth!" Ryder yells, pulling on my pant leg. I put Jack on the ground and pick up Ryder, throwing him in the air. He almost hits the ceiling. Oops, that wouldn't have been good. He's loving it though, shrieking and laughing.

"Higher! Higher!" he yells.

"Dude, I can't go higher, you'll hit the moon!"

"Moon, Unna Sef, me moon," Jack says, tugging on my pants.

"You want another turn, princess?"

"Yes-yes, yes peas."

I put down Ryder, scooping up Jack and throwing her into the air. She shrieks, giggles, hiccups… then pukes all over me.

"Ugh, Jack, gross." I shudder. "Now Uncle Seth has to take a shower."

Jack and Ryder laugh at me as I take Jack into the living room and put her in her playpen with some toys. I turn on the TV and find some cartoon about dogs.

"I'll be right back, little man."


"Edward, are you sure they're going to be okay?"

"I'm sure they're fine, baby. This is supposed to be a nice, relaxing weekend. We aren't supposed to be worrying about the kids."

She sighs. "I know, it's just—"

"Hey." I grab her hand and kiss it. "It'll be fine. If you want, we can call when we get to the hotel."

She turns her head to the side and smiles at me.

"Thanks, babe."

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

11:30 a.m.

I hop out of the shower and change into the clothes I stole out of Edward's closet. Man, his arms must be huge now. Where there once was no space around my bicep, there is now a half inch of space. I need to hit the fucking gym again. I haven't really been since Chloe's been born.

I bound down the stairs. It's quiet. A little too quiet. When you have a four month old, quiet is good. It means the kid is finally asleep and maybe, just maybe, Mommy is up for a little something-something. But when the kids in question are almost one and almost four. Quiet means—

"Are you fucking kidding me? Ryder Jacob Masen, what in God's name are you doing?"

"Bad word Uncle Seth, bad word!" he chides me. "And who is God? Do I know God? Can God come to the park with us? You owe me and Jack two dollars!"

"I don't owe you any money, you little punk. I gave you twenty dollars so I could swear more! And darn dude, how do you talk so fast?"

He grins at me, all while standing in a pile of toilet paper that Jack is still unraveling as she crawls around him.

"How did she get out of her playpen?"

Ryder shrugs his shoulders.

"Well, where did she get the toilet paper?"

He shrugs again.

I sigh. "Okay, well, let me clean up, then we'll go to the park before lunch."

"It's lunch time," he informs me.

"What?" I turn around to see if I can find the time.

"Time for lunch now, see?" He shows me a watch that is flashing 11:45 a.m.

"Shit! How long was I in the shower?"

Again with the shrug. "Long time, I think. Longer than Daddy does. And Daddy usually takes Jack in there with him and closes the door."

"Okay, well, don't tell your mom and dad on me."

"Okay!" He smiles wide.


"Did you get hold of him?"

"Nah, maybe he took the kids to the park. I'm sure they're fine, baby. I'll try again in a little bit."

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

1:00 p.m.

"Jack, stop putting sand in your mouth," I tell her, gently moving her hand away and wiping her tongue with my fingers.

She grins at me. "Sef, sand," and tries to eat it again.

"Jack, yucky!" I groan, and hoist her up out of the sand.

I look around and spot Ryder at the top of the playground. "Hey, little man, I'm taking your sister to the swing, want to come?"

He hurriedly climbs down and runs over. "Will you push me really, really high?"

"Of course! I'm your uncle; I will always do the stuff with you that your parents are too afraid to!"

"Like pushing me to the moon?"

I laugh. "Well, maybe not that far."

I get Jack settled in a baby swing as Ryder climbs onto the swing beside me. I alternate pushing each kid, then step in front of them and pretend as though they have kicked me and knocked me down. I used to love that game as a kid.

We play on the swings until Jack looks like she is going to fall asleep. I check my watch and notice that it's almost 2:30 and time for her nap.

"Hey, Ryder, it's time to get your sister home. We can come back tomorrow."


I turn and lift Jack out of her swing when Ryder says, "Watch me, Uncle Seth."

I pivot my head just in time to see him stand on his swing and jump. Except the only things that leave the swing are his arms. He pitches forward, and I try to catch him, just barely getting a piece of his T-shirt. I hear the sound of the material tearing, but I am unable to get my arm around Ryder before he falls.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he blurts out.

I laugh a little; though, I know I shouldn't. "Little man, I know that probably hurt, but you shouldn't repeat stuff you hear Uncle Seth say, okay?" I crouch down in front of him. "Are you okay?"

He sits up, sniffling a little. "I think so, but my shirt is ruined, and I sayed a swear and Mommy will be mad and my arm hurts."

I pick him up and put him on my lap. "Not much I can do about the shirt, but let's see your arm." I look at it and brush the sand off it. There doesn't seem to be a scratch on it, not even a red mark, so I kiss it.

"Feel better, little man?"

He nods his head.

"Good job, let's take the princess home for a nap then we'll have some ice cream."


I start kissing Bella's neck when she sighs again.

"Edward, I'm worried. We've called three more times and there is still no answer."

"Relax, baby, my brother isn't a moron. He would call if there were something really wrong. If not us, then at least Jasper or Claire."

She sighs again. "You're right. I'm being silly."

I would never agree.

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

4:30 p.m.

Ryder hasn't seemed like himself since the park. The kid even turned down ice cream. To make matters worse, he won't use the arm he landed on. It doesn't look swollen, but now I'm a little concerned he may have sprained it.

The phone vibrates in my pocket, and I answer it before checking caller ID. "Yeah?"

"Seth? It's Garrett. Something came up and I have to leave the bar for a bit. Can you cover me? I don't want to bug Edward."

"Can't, dude. Edward's away and I have his kids for the weekend."

"I literally only need an hour. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an emergency."

I debate calling in Rachel, but I don't want to bug her for only an hour. I decide it would be okay to take the kids to the bar for a little while. "Fine." I sigh. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

I get to the bar and exit the car. I strap Jack into the front carrier thing they left for me and lift Ryder out of the car. He is still favoring his arm, and I am getting more than worried now.

We walk in the bar, and Garrett comes around as soon as he spots us.

"Sorry to do this, man. My sister's boyfriend got in a wreck and she needs me to drive her to the hospital—she busses to work. My dad couldn't leave work to do it, but he'll pick them up later."

I wave him off. "No worries, man. Take all the time you need."

He rushes out the door.

"Hey Ryder, want a Coke?" I ask.

He smiles at me. "Yes please, Uncle Seth."

Trying to pour a Coke with a kid strapped to my chest is fun… not.

About an hour after we've been at the bar, there is a steady stream of people keeping me busy, and my phone rings.




"It's about fucking time you answered your phone. Where are you? It sounds like the bar."

I laugh. "It is. Garrett needed to leave for a bit, but he should be back any minute. It was an emergency."

"Want to know what else is an emergency? Me getting laid, which I'm not, because my wife is worried about our kids, because the person responsible for them isn't answering his goddamn phone."

I feel a little guilty; especially, when I see Ryder is looking like he may cry, and he's holding his arm again.

"Hey Ryder, Daddy's on the phone, want to talk to him?"

Please don't tell him you fell. Please don't tell him you fell. I chant in my head.

"Daddy? Hi, Mommy! I miss you! Yeah, lots of fun! McDonald's. Uh-huh. No, nuggets. Books and apples! We went to the park! Love you, bye!"

He shoves the phone back at me. "They want to talk to Jack now."

I laugh, holding the phone up to Jack's ear.

"Mom-mom. Da-dad." She giggles. "Park. Book. Wove you. Bye."

I grab the phone back and say goodbye to Edward, just as the bar door opens and Rachel and Garrett both walk in.

"Hey, Seth," Rachel says. She leans over and gives Jack a kiss, turning and doing the same with Ryder.

"Hey, Rach. How's it going, Gar?"

"He's okay. He bumped his head, so they want to keep him for a while."

"That sucks."

"Hey, Seth? What's wrong with Ryder's arm?" Rachel calls over to me.

I look over and he is holding it across his body and won't let her touch it.

"He fell at the park and landed on it. He says it hurts, but I can't see anything wrong with it."

"He may have fractured it. Take him to the hospital to be on the safe side. I'll take Jack back to your place and drop her off with Claire."

"You think it's really broken? There isn't even a bruise."

"Better to be safe than sorry, right?"



"I'm glad we finally got to talk to the kids."

"Me too." Glad because now I may finally get some.

She sighs. I groan. "What, babe?"

"Ryder didn't really sound like himself. I mean, he still talked, but it wasn't nearly as fast or as much as I would have expected. You don't think something is wrong, do you?"

I bury my face in the pillow and try not to cry.

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

6:00 p.m.

"What happened to your arm?"

"Uncle Seth dropped me."

The nurse shoots me a dirty look. I raise my hands. "It wasn't like that... He fell off the swing and I didn't catch him on time. I was holding his sister and only got a small grip of his shirt."

"Then my shirt rippded and he dropped me."

Nurse is now smiling at me, the almost hero. I try not to roll my eyes. "The doctor will be in to see you shortly."

We wait about forty-five minutes before the doctor comes in.

"Hello there, young man. My name is Doctor Jake. What's your name?"

"I have an Uncle Jake, but he's dead and in heaven. My name is Ryder. This is Uncle Seth. He's Uncle Jake's live brother and my daddy's fake brother." He points at me. "He dropped me."

The speed at which this kid can yap, Jesus, now I see why Edward gives me shit for giving him Coke.

Dr. Jake is looking at me like WTF?

"He fell off the swing. I didn't drop him. I just didn't catch him in time."

"And what is a 'live' brother?" he asks, putting the live in air quotes.

"He means 'alive,' because my brother is gone, and since I know what else you're going to ask, his dad was taken in by mine so 'fake' brother," I say, putting the fake in air quotes.

The Doctor spends the next ten minutes manipulating Ryder's arm, asking him where and when it hurts, before sending him down for an X-ray.

We wait another forty minutes until he gets taken for one, then it's back up to wait another twenty minutes for Dr. Jake again.

"He's got a fracture." He walks through the door, looking at the X-ray. "We'll need to cast it."

"Can I have black?" Ryder asks with a smile.

I'm glad he's excited about the cast, because his parents are going to kill me. I vow I will not answer the phone for the rest of their time away.


"Bella, please, please just relax for a second, will you? Seth is very responsible. He's probably giving the kids a bath. Or reading to them before bed."

"I'm not going to be able to relax until I talk to them, Edward."

I'm going to kill my brother for this.

Seattle, Washington

Friday, September 18, 2015

9:00 p.m.

By the time, the cast is done and dried and we've gone to my place to get Jack, then get home, both kids are passed out. Ryder was given something for the pain at the hospital before they put the cast on and it knocked him right out. I thank God they have the door into the house from the garage.

I take Ryder out of the car first, carrying him right upstairs to put him in bed, then do the same with Jack. I grab a pillow and blanket from the hall closet and bring it downstairs. Bella told me they changed the sheets on their bed, but there is no way I am sleeping somewhere that my brother fucked.

These kids sure are exhausting, and I think to myself how grateful I am that my kid isn't nearly this active. That is the last thing I remember.


"There is still no answer, Edward. I think we should just go."

I grab her by the shoulders and sit her down on the bed. "Babe, it's 10:30 p.m. Don't forget he only has a four month old. He's not used to having to run around after older kids. Let's just make the most of this hotel room, and if we can't get him in the morning, I swear to you, we'll go home. Okay?"

"Okay," she says, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Don't apologize, babe."

Seattle, Washington

Saturday, September 19, 2015

8:30 a.m.

I'm woken by a heavy cast to a very sensitive area.

"Ouf." I grunt, grabbing myself. "Careful, little man."

"Sorry, Uncle Seth. Jack's up."

"Thanks, buddy. Let Uncle Seth get up. I'll go get her."

I walk up the stairs and into Jack's room. Man she stinks this morning. I try to remember what I gave her for dinner yesterday and come up blank. Fuck, I hope Claire fed her.

I'm in the middle of changing her diaper when my phone rings. It's Edward, so I let it go to the machine. There is no way I'm talking to him right now. The guilt I feel would have me admitting shit right away.

I take Jack downstairs and walk into the kitchen in time to see Ryder holding the milk jug over a bowl. I plop Jack on the floor and reach for the jug just in time for Ryder to drip it. Milk splashes all over him, me, and the floor and wall.

"Shit," I blurt. "Sorry. I didn't mean to swear," I tell Ryder's disapproving little face. "Don't copy Uncle Seth; he's bad." Ryder nods. "Let's go grab a shower, then I will get us breakfast."

Remembering Jack can climb out of her playpen; I take her in the living room and flip the playpen over so she's sitting underneath it. Then I move the couch in front of the living room entrance. Confident she now can't go anywhere; I scoop up Ryder and take him upstairs. We both hop in the shower—him with his casted arm sticking out of the curtain.

Once we are finished, we dress and go downstairs, and I send Ryder in to play with Jack while I make waffles.

Seattle, Washington

Saturday, September 19, 2015

10:00 a.m.

I know our day is going to be fucked when I see it's raining. What can you do with an almost one year old? Not much. I decide we can make a blanket fort and watch movies on Netflix or something.

"Hey, little man, can you just keep an eye on your sister while I run upstairs for blankets for the fort?"

"Okay, Uncle Seth."

I take the stairs two at a time and begin my search for blankets. I take the comforters off Ryder and Jack's beds before begrudgingly grabbing the one off Edward and Bella's. I take them downstairs and drop them in the living room, which I notice is empty.

"Shit, where did they go?"

I hear giggling coming from the kitchen and hope they aren't trying to pour something again. What I see in that kitchen makes me stop dead in my tracks.

"Holy crap, your parents are gonna kill me," I breathe out.

"Crap!" Jack says, clapping her hands, causing what she is holding to fall on the floor.

I lean over and pick up the Sharpie, "Where did you get this?"

"This!" she repeats.

"Ryder, where did she get this from?"

He shrugs. I am a dead man. The once pristine white cabinets are covered—and I mean covered—in scribbles of Sharpie. Jack has it all over her face, arms, and legs, not to mention the onesie she is wearing.

I almost wish Ryder had put pants on after our shower because his legs are covered too.

"Ryder, why didn't you stop her?"

He shakes his head. "I tried Uncle Seth, but she just colored on me."

"Well, why didn't you call for me then?"

He starts to cry. "'Cause I didn't want to get in trouble. I don't want Jack to get in trouble. It's my fault. Daddy asked me to put that marker away when I was finished drawing with it and I didn't."

"Buddy, I'm not mad at you. I could have helped you stop her if you had called me, though. Come here, I'm not mad."

I lift him into my lap. Jack crawls over to us and pats his back. I rock him back and forth. He starts to sob and tells me his arm hurts, so I give him some of the medication the doctor gave me for him. I hug him to me and rock him some more, until I feel him go dead weight in my arms. I put him in the living room to sleep for a bit and tuck his blanket up around him.

I go back to the kitchen and grab Jack, who is sitting in front of the cabinet, touching it saying, "Piddy."

"No, you little monster, it's not pretty! Your mom and dad are going to kill Uncle Seth!"

"Kill Unna Sef!" she shrieks.

"Shhh, Ryder's sleeping."

"Shhh, Rye seeping."

I laugh as I place her in her playpen and grab Edward's laptop to see if there is a way to get the Sharpie off everything.


"How many times have you tried, babe?"

"Enough that I am really worried and I just want to go home, Edward."

I sigh heavily. "All right, let's get packed and on the road."

I am seriously going to punch my brother right in the dick for this. Let him see how it feels. And I'll never trust him to babysit ever again.

Seattle, Washington

Saturday, September 19, 2015

2:00 p.m.

After I scour the internet for half an hour, I decide to use the Magic Eraser—which they thankfully have in the house—on the cupboards, and stick the kids in the bath and use dish soap to try to get the Sharpie off them. For the most part it has worked. I can still see some faint Sharpie on the cabinets. It's worse with the kids, though; the dish soap hasn't worked very well, and even though I have kept them in the bath for over an hour, it's still on their skin. The problem is I don't want to use anything harsh like rubbing alcohol.

I have just given each of the kids a snack when I hear the sound of a car in the driveway. Wondering who it can be, I go to the front of the house. Edward and Bella are here already?

"Shit!" I yell.

"Shit." I hear from the kitchen. I rush back in there.

"Jack, don't say that word," I scold her.

"Oh crap, your parents are home," I tell them, giving them each a kiss on the forehead. "I'll see you guys later. Love you!"

"Bye, Uncle Seth! Thanks for dropping me and getting me this cool cast!"

"Shit!" Jack says, clapping.

I. Am. Fucked.

I hear the front door open.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

I rush to the front hall. "Hey! You're back early! How come? Oh, would you look at that! Claire's calling me. Gotta go! Bye!" I run out the door and jump in my car. Thanking my lucky stars I had switched with Edward and Bella for the weekend, I start the car and whip it out of the driveway.

Seattle, Washington

Saturday, September 19, 2015

2:15 p.m.

"What in the hell was that about?" Bella asks me.

"I have no bloody clue," I say, walking past the living room—which, I note, is a complete disaster.

"Oh. My. God! Ryder, what happened?" I hear from Bella, who has walked into the kitchen. "My poor baby!"

Rushing to catch up with her, I notice Ryder sporting a black cast.

"Uncle Seth dropped me," he says.

"Oh, my poor baby!" Bella says again, scooping him up. "Baby, what is that on your leg?"

By now, I'm in front of Jack, and I can see black stuff all over various parts of her body.

"What the—"

"Ryder!" I hear my wife's angry, no-nonsense voice. "What did you do to yourself, your sister and, my kitchen cabinets?"

I notice then the faint black on the cabinets. "Ryder Jacob Masen, you have some explaining to do. You know we don't color on the walls, or ourselves," I say in a stern voice.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He huffs. "It was Jack."

"Ryder, language. Where did you hear that from?" I ask him, as Bella turns to Jack and says, "Jacklyn Daniella Masen."

Jack's lower lip trembles before my cherubic baby girl opens her mouth and says, "Shit."

I am officially wondering what the hell we were thinking leaving my moronic brother in charge.

I am going to kill him, and tell Claire.