I confess, I'm having writers block with my other fics, so I figured maybe doing some oneshots would help. This is, of course, BBRae since that is my favorite pairing with the Titans (odd yet oddly balanced couple). Besides, they're amusing to throw together. So many possibilities with such different people.
Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.
Strongest of Emotions
"Silkie!" Beast Boy called out as he searched the common room for the little pet larva.
"I cannot find him anywhere," Starfire said with a worried frown. She lifted the couch calling, "Silkie!"
"I'll go check the hallways," Beast Boy said as he raced out of the common room.
He started with his own room then moved to Starfire's. Nothing. He went through two other room then made his way to the last one. Fidgeting, he stared at the door. Going in there would mean his death if he was caught. The room's owner was very touchy about her space.
In the years since the defeat of the Brotherhood of Evil, he had entered a kind of truce with her. They rarely fought now, and he wasn't too eager to change that. The truce meant he had a chance to get her to like him. He really really really - did he mention really - wanted her to like him. That and he wanted her happy. Going into her room wouldn't accomplish either of those things.
He traced his fingers over the name on the door, Raven. The person he would destroy the world for if she asked it of him. Odd to think that he, the goofy green guy, would fall for the serious goth girl. She wouldn't want him in her room and he wanted her happy above all else...But, he had to go in so he could find Silkie. Well...maybe he didn't. He could just tell Starfire he couldn't find the larva. That perked him up a bit. Then he would get to live...but Starfire would be sad. Beast Boy couldn't leave one of his friends sad. So, taking a deep breath, he opened the door.
The breath he'd been holding whooshed out when he saw that the Raven wasn't in there. All he had to do was take a quick look around for Silkie then get out. She'd never have to know.
Out of habit, he slid the door shut behind him and began looking around the room for the little larva. The room was perfect for Raven. A little dark with shelves full of books. Blue and black were the dominant colors from sheets on the bed to the color of the walls. He looked in the closet, then under the bed. As he stood back up, his eyes landed on the mirror resting on the nightstand.
"That looks familiar," he said to himself as he tilted his head curiously. Then he remembered and quickly tried to look away. Too late. A glowing red and black hand shot out of the mirror and grabbed him in a firm grip. He let out a scared yelp as he was dragged into the mirror.
When Beast Boy woke up, he had a splitting headache. Sitting up, he rubbed at his forehead. "What happened?"
Slowly he opened his eyes. When he saw where he was, he groaned. "Awww, man. Not this place again."
Around him was the dark and barren land of Nevermore, Raven's mind. She was definitely going to kill him now. Unless he could get out of here before she found out. Could he do that? Wouldn't she know that someone was in her mind that didn't belong there? Well, he wasn't sticking around to find out.
He stood and made his way down the path towards the 'Forbidden Door'. What kind of name was that anyway? He wondered. It wasn't exactly forbidden since it was the way out. But, that's what Raven called it last time he was here. He looked around again. Things sure hadn't changed much. Guess that means Raven hadn't changed much either. Or at least her mind hadn't.
He shuddered a little and wrapped his arms around himself. "This place is still creepy."
"Same old Beast Boy."
Spinning around, he came face to face with a pink cloaked Raven. He groaned again. "Happy Raven."
She laughed and gave him a hug. "Hi ya, BB."
He smiled, mostly because the laugh was Raven's laugh. The one he'd been trying to get out of her since they first met. "It's been a while."
She released him from the hug. "No it hasn't. I saw you this morning."
He frowned in confusion then understood. This was still a part of Raven, and he saw everyone's favorite demoness that morning at breakfast. So technically, he saw Happy Raven too...Wait. Wouldn't Happy seeing him mean that Raven was happy at some point?
"I couldn't have. Raven would have to be happy for you to see me. Wouldn't she?"
Happy nodded. "Of course. But I was happy this morning."
"Raven doesn't do happy," Beast Boy pointed out. He should know. Raven told him that nearly every time he tried to make her laugh.
"Well, silly, I must or I wouldn't be here," Happy returned with another laugh.
Beast Boy was grinning by now. He did love that laugh. "Well, I have to get out of here before Raven is feeling rage, because I'm not supposed to be here."
"I'll walk with you to the end of my domain within my mind."
Since he liked hearing the laugh, Beast Boy didn't object. He turned and began making his way towards the door again. It seemed so far away. Typical of him, his mind began to wonder while he walked. Focusing was never his strong point. What did Happy mean by 'domain?' Did Raven already know he was here? Was she even now plotting his death? He shuddered.
They stepped into the land he was sure was the source of air fresheners. Which he'd thought last time too. In fact, Happy had laughed at that one. Hmm? Do the things that amuse Happy amuse Raven? If so then she really did think he was funny. He grinned.
"That would be so cool," he said out loud with a big grin.
"What would be?" Happy asked him.
She stopped after a few feet. "Well this is the end of my domain."
"So I just have to go through the maze then I'm home free, right?"
"Not anymore. A different emotion needed a bigger area because it grew. So, there was some shuffling of things. Now you have to go through the maze and the other emotion's domain."
"What do you mean by domain?"
"Each of us had our own area within Nevermore. It's one of the methods used to keep me in check so that my powers don't hurt people." She waved with a happy laugh. "See ya, BB."
She was already gone, and the air freshener area seemed to waver away. He was back in the barren and dark part of Raven's mind.
"Dang it," he grumbled, kicking as a stone on the ground. "Now I have to worry about this new emotion."
Sighing he continued walking. "I'll just have to see what happens next."
As he walked he saw the maze pop up. Like the last time, Timid Raven appeared. Unlike last time, she didn't seem perpetually close to tears. She even gave one of Raven's shy smile's. He saw that more often than anything else, but even those were rare. Usually, he only got to see it for a second before Raven pulled her hood up to hide it. He wasn't sure why, but it embarrassed her when she had strong feelings of any kind - except for anger. That one just made her feel guilty.
"Hi," she said quietly with a slight wave. "Do you want me to show you through the maze?"
He grinned and nodded. His expression turned to shock when she blushed. Raven never blushed. Then again, this was Timid Raven. She might blush all the time. He followed her through the maze. "Do you know anything about the next emotion I'll meet."
She gave him a questioning look, then seemed to realize what he meant. "Oh. She's the strongest of us all now."
He remembered Raven's strongest emotion from last time. Rage. Oh goody. A groan escaped him before he could stop it. Timid seemed to shrink and her eyes watered.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled.
"It's not your fault," he replied with a sigh. "I just don't want to have to fight my way out of here again."
Before he could continue, Timid opened the door leading out of the maze. "The end of the maze."
She vanished before he could ask her more information. Sighing, he resigned himself to finding the answers on his own. As he walked the scene changed and he could have sworn he was back at the tower on the roof. The only reason he knew he wasn't was because the Raven standing facing him wore a purple robe and was smiling warmly.
"Hello, Beast Boy," she greeted him. "Welcome to my domain."
"And which part of Raven are you?" he asked curiously.
"I think it best I let you figure that one out," she responded evasively. "Come. I'll show you the way."
As they walked he found himself being led through the tower, but it wasn't the tower. The halls didn't go in the same direction and stairs weren't in the right places. He did see a lot of doors. Way more than was actually in any given hall of the Tower.
"Why does your domain look like the tower?" he asked curiously.
"Our domains are a reflection of us. For example, Timid. She is shy and embarrasses easily. So her domain is a maze, where she can hide easily." She smiled at him again making his heart skip a beat. "My domain is my home. Where the things that matter most to me are."
He tilted his head. "Your friends."
"Timid Raven said you're the strongest of Raven's emotions."
"I thought that was rage."
"It was. I've been getting stronger for years. The first big growth was when I met the Titans for the first time. For a while Fear and Rage battled for dominance then. I'm very afraid of losing my friend. My family."
It confused him how all of the Ravens spoke as if they were one and yet as if they were separate. They acknowledged the different sides and yet always used I when talking generally about Raven. He had to listen carefully to make sure he didn't lose track of what this part of Raven was saying. It made sense for them to speak this way. They were all Raven after all. Just different parts of her. It didn't make it any less confusing.
"When did you become the strongest?" he asked.
"Right after my father destroyed the world." She turned to him. "My reason for being angry was gone then. I was no longer going to end the world. My father couldn't control me anymore. And I was free at last." This purple Raven gave him a warm smile. "Then there was you."
She nodded. "Yes. You are a big reason for my growth. In fact, the biggest reason of them all." Opening a door, she said, "This is the exit to my domain."
"It's going to drive me crazy wondering which side of Raven you are," he grumbled as he walked forward.
He heard a laugh behind him and she said, "You'll figure it out. No one knows me better."
Beast Boy was back in the barren area. To his relief, the exit was right in front of him. He ran towards it, glad to get out without angering Raven. He froze as a shadow loomed over him. A very malevolent shadow.
"Beast Boy," Raven growled behind him. "What are you doing in my mind again?"
He yelped and spun around. Sure enough, the normal blue cloaked Raven stood in front of him with narrowed eyes. She stepped towards him with black magic glowing around her hand threateningly.
Beast Boy gulped. "Hi, Rae."
"I...I'm sorry, Rae. I don't know how I got here. The hand jerked me in again," he said quickly, holding up his hands as if that would stop her anger.
"What were you doing in my room in the first place?"
"Looking for Silkie." The changling quickly explained everything that led to him being sucked into the mirror. He explained so well in fact, that he was babbling pointlessly.
It seemed to have worked though. Raven's hands stopped glowing as she took on a less threatening stance. Her eyes were calm once again as she sighed. "I can't really blame you for something you didn't entirely do on your own."
He blinked. "Huh?"
"One of my emotions pulled you in," she grumbled as if embarrassed by this fact. To confirm his suspicion, she pulled her hood up to hide her face.
Beast Boy stood. "Really? Oh." He hesitated, unsure of what to say. "Um...Look I'm sorry for going into your room, but I didn't want to disappoint Star."
She sighed again. "It's okay. I know you don't like seeing any of us unhappy. You wouldn't have been able to help yourself." Raven gave a small smile he couldn't see because of the hood. "You've irritated me enough with your insistence that I be happy for me to understand that by now."
He gave a nervous chuckle, finally beginning to relax again. "Yeah...You would know about that."
"I hope none of my sides hurt you."
He shook his head. "No, just the opposite. They were all very happy to help me."
"Figures," she muttered.
Grabbing him by the arm, she pulled him towards the exit. Within seconds, they were standing in her room again. He'd never been happier to see it despite thinking that she might still kill him later. He gave her a wary look. She didn't seem angry anymore. A little annoyed, but not angry. Relaxing, he gave her a small smile.
"Actually, one of your sides did confuse me. I thought anger was your strongest emotion."
She nodded. "It was before my father's defeat anyway. I had a lot to be angry about."
"True, but what replaced it?"
Raven shifted uncomfortably. "It doesn't matter." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "According so some, nothing. I don't have emotions."
"What stupid bastard said that," Beast Boy snapped, surprising Raven. "I'll pound him into dirt. Who said that?"
Realizing that he meant the threat, she chose not to tell him about the documentary done on the Titans and the harsh things that was said about her in it. "Pound him? For telling the truth?"
"It is not true." His anger redirected to her. "There could be nothing more untrue. You care. In fact, you care too much. You fight her own emotions everyday to protect everyone. You bleed for people you've never even met. You fought your own father to protect others. None of the rest of us, not even Robin, could be as selfless and caring as you."
She stared at him. "You really think so?"
"Of course I do. In fact..." He trailed off as realization struck. "It's your strongest emotion."
Met her eyes with wonder. "Love."
She would have called him a liar if she didn't already know it was true herself. She'd known it for months. Ever since she came to understand just how she felt about the people around her, especially a certain green teammate. That he knew it was her strongest didn't really surprise her at all either. What she wanted to know was why he was staring at her like she'd grown a second head?
"Raven..." He hesitated then took a calculated risk. "I met Love while I was in there."
She felt fear rise to the occasion and tried to keep it under control. "Oh, did you?"
"She told me that I was the reason she'd become the strongest of your emotions. At least the biggest reason." He was watching her carefully, wishing she'd lower her hood so he could see her face. "Is that true?"
"Love talks to much," she replied a bit irritably.
"That didn't answer my question."
Raven spun away. What was she supposed to do? Ignore it. That's it. It wasn't like she had any experience with this particular situation. Before her father's defeat, she thought it would be impossible for her to love anyone this much. That would have been very dangerous. Things would have been blowing up everywhere with that kind of emotion. Love was very powerful even when she wasn't the strongest of the emotions. Raven hated to think what she could do now if her powers still went berserk whenever her emotions reacted...and all of this was beside the point. What did she do with Beast Boy? Love didn't come with an instruction manual. Besides that, Raven was terrified. What if he didn't feel the same? She wouldn't blame him if he didn't. Not with the way she treated him, but still...it would break her as nothing else had. Even her father with all his power couldn't hurt her as much as one word from Beast Boy could.
She was drug out of her thoughts when Beast Boy turned her around and lowered her hood. Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing?"
"I wanted to see your face. It's hard to tell what you're thinking with the hood up."
He was frowning, which concerned her. Beast Boy shouldn't frown. He should always have that goofy grin on his face. The one that irritated her because it made her want to smile back at him. "What's wrong?"
"I...There's a girl..."
Her heart sank but she sighed and said, "And you like her."
"No. I love her."
She shifted a bit and waited for him to get to the point. That way she could tend to her bleeding heart in peace and solitude. It would probably take a while since it was still sinking in that she'd lost him for good.
"She's amazing. Beautiful. Kind of like a rose. A bold red one that catches the eye but you know if you touch it the thorns will get you. At the same time, you can't help it. You have to touch."
He was still watching her face very carefully. She was starting to wonder just what he was looking for.
"Just tell her how you feel." She gave him a weak smile. "She'd be an idiot not to feel the same as your a good guy. A goofy idiot, but a good guy."
He drew in a deep breath. "I love you."
She glowered at him. "Not me. Tell the girl you love."
"I just did."
When he noticed she was blushing, he grinned at her. "I love you, Raven."
"How can anyone, especially you, love me? I'm a monster. A demon spawn." She looked away from him. "I was born to destroy the world."
"Yet, you saved it...multiple times I might add. I don't care who your parents are or where you've come from. I just care that you are Raven." He took her hands when she would have raised her hood again. "Rae, I know you better than anyone and I know how much you care about the world. I know that every time you throw me out a window it's only because you use anger to hide all your other emotions. I understand you. And, I love you. Thorns and all."
She took a step back in defense. Her eyes softening, and he could see her hands shaking.
"Rae, I don't mean to scare you. I just..." He rubbed at the back of his head. "After talking with your emotions today and realizing that Love was the strongest, I kind of hoped that you felt the same." He turned towards her door. "It's okay though. I'll leave you alone now."
"Wait...Beast Boy...I..." Raven grabbed his hand. She couldn't say it. She'd spent so many years hiding her feelings that she couldn't express them. She didn't know how anymore. Raven gave him a pleading look to understand what she couldn't say. He didn't seem to be getting though as his green eyes still had that hopeless look. She felt him pulling away and panic took over.
The next thing she knew, she was placing her lips against his gently, as if unsure of herself. Another first. She'd never been unsure of herself before. Confidence was necessary to control her powers. Also, she'd never even thought to kiss a boy before. Passion was something that was forbidden to her before her father's defeat. She liked it. At least, she liked it with Beast Boy. He tasted warm and male. Something in her stirred to life for the first time.
Beast Boy's arms went around her waist and pulled her closer. She let him, loosing herself in the moment. Another first. This seemed to be the day for those. All of them were happening within minutes of each other too. She wouldn't have had it any other way.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers as he took a ragged breath. "Okay. I think I got the message this time."
"Good." Her breathing wasn't so steady either. It made her feel a little...giddy. "What now?"
"Now we just see what happens next. Starting with a date. You, me, and a restaurant. You pick."
She stepped back to meet his gaze. "Alright."
He grinned at her. "Good. We'll go tonight."
"Hey, you kissed me already so no need to move too slowly."
He started to lean in for another kiss when the door burst open. The two of them jumped about with startled yelps.
"I have found him, Beast Boy," Starfire proclaimed with a big smile.
"Found..." Beast Boy remembered the thing that led him to Raven's room in the first place. "Silkie. That's great. I'm glad."
"We shall feast to celebrate," Star informed them still smiling. She was looking between her two friends as it occurred to her that they were both blushing and in Raven's room. "Is something wrong, friends?"
They shook their head.
"No, Star, but we'll have to celebrate another night." Beast Boy gave a lopsided grin. "We have plans tonight."
"Oh, this is wondrous," STar said with a cheer. "I will leave you two alone then." She made her way down the hall to inform Robin of these new developments.
"The entire world will know about this within an hour," Raven said dryly.
"No help for it," he agreed.
She looked at him. "I like italian."
Beast Boy took her hand with a laugh. "Let's go then."
Raven actually found herself smiling at him as she let him drag her out of the tower. And to think, she almost killed him for going into her room earlier. Good thing anger wasn't stronger than love anymore.
That's it for this one. Please R&R