90 Minute Masterpiece
"Bugs! You expect me to eat fucking bugs Simba?!" screeched Kovu. "Yes, yes I do so quit being such a pussy! You know the herds have migrated, this is our only remaining food source." Kovu silently trudged along as Simba continued his search for food. The lionesses were far off, searching for any remaining animals in the Pridelands." Kovu smirked and jokingly said to Simba, "Hey King Cunt…" Simba roared in anger and tackled Kovu whose body replied with a loud thump. "I'm in no mood for your shit Kovu, give me a good reason I shouldn't just eat you." Kovu was now quivering in fear "Simba I'm joking, I'm sorry please let me go." Simba grunted and walked off. As Kovu regained his balance he thought to himself, What the hell is his problem?
Simba nodded along scanning the ground for bugs he thought in the back of his mind. Was I too harsh? Maybe I should go apologize… Damn I'm turning into a softy. "Stop making me seem so FUCKING soft." A/N: Sorry …that you're a pussy. "WELL FUCK YOU TOO!" Kovu was in the background walking towards him, when Kovu finally caught up to Simba he asked, "You still haven't found food yet Simba?" Simba roared back "Hey Lord Douchebag I don't see you putting in any effort you're just standing back and watching like the little bitch you are!" Kovu responded, "Calm down King Cunt you don't need to strain your heart it's an antique and is bound to go out if you keep getting flustered." Simba and Kovu started to jokingly fling insults, "Well Lord Douchebag at least I'm not a bitching little pussy who doesn't have any balls!" Kovu joked back, "Well you're a gay little cunt that has never gotten laid." Simba, "You're an ugly, retarded, wimpy bitch that fucks Mashoga!" Kovu, "Fag!" Simba, "Retard!" Kovu, "Cunt!" Simba, "Ugly mother fucker!" Kovu, "Cantaloupe!" Simba, "What!?" Kovu, "Cantaloupe!" Simba "You just ruined it dumbass, we aren't four and five year olds." Kovu responded, "Technically we are." Simba rolled his eyes and said, "Just shut the fuck up!" Kovu whispered, "*sorry*"
"Hey Simba look food!" Simba looked down and sure enough, grubs! But he noticed something, "Hey Kovu these don't look like any grubs I've ever seen." Kovu laughed "Just eat them pussy," and with that Kovu painstakingly swallowed a handful of grubs. "Okay Kovu if you say so." He gulped down and entire colony and licked his lips. Simba, "Kovu these taste funny." And with that everything began to warp around them. The world turned into an LSD wonderland and Kovu and Simba ran off into the night. Simba had forgotten about these grubs, they were laced in hallucinogenics.
Dazed and confused Simba and Kovu stumbled back to pride rock after viewing the new wonderland around them. Back in the den things took a turn for the worst, one thing led to another and after a confusing, illegible discussion the hallucinations overpowered them. They were happy, scared, confused, sad, and angry all at once and somehow ended up in Upendi. *insert lemon here*Their screams could be heard from all around luckily no one was there to hear this horrific event after several hours the event was over. The next morning Simba and Kovu awoke from what they thought was a nightmare, but when they awoke it became a reality. The den was covered in blood and other not so pleasant fluids; Kovu had scratch marks on his back and couldn't sit. They soon realized what had happened. Both, "Holy shit… did we…" they looked at the den again then eachother in the eyes with horrified expressions they said, "…we…did." Simba began to scream "Holy shit. It was you I always knew you were gay. How will we clean this up and how could we explain this to Kiara and Nala?" Kovu, "Hold up I'm not the gay one I didn't nearly tear another lion in half last night!" Simba, "At least I could tear somebody in half your dick's so small that you couldn't even penetrate a fly." Kovu, "Fuck you!" Simba, "You already covered that fag, what the hell were you thinking!?" Kovu, "I wasn't, I mean I couldn't even tell what was happening it was the grubs that did this not me." Simba, "I still blame this on you, hurry we have to clean up before they return home, they would kill us and besides half of them already think we're gay we don't need some bull shit we accidentally did to prove it." Kovu, "Fine by me, but I still blame this all on you dumbass if you wouldn't have listened to me we wouldn't be in this mess." Simba, "My fault you're the retard who gave them to me and said they were fine. Besides you're the one who started all the crap last night I thought you were Nala!" Kovu, "I didn't start it you did I can't sit and you can so that means you did just means you "took control" last night!" Simba, "No it just means you have the dick of a newborn cub!" Kovu, "Shut the fuck up, why are you even looking down there?" Simba, "Kovu we're lions we don't wear clothes the problem is I have to look to see it." Kovu, "Just fuck you; well you have the shriveled dick of an old man!" Simba, "Are you so sure about that?" Kovu looked down and said "Just fuck you!" Kovu whispered to himself, "Lucky bastard." Then Kovu went silent and got straight to cleaning up the den and was soon followed by Simba."
After the den was cleaned and every trace of Simba's and Kovu's Upendi event were erased from the planet Simba saw the lionesses on the rise at the far eastern border returning with their kill. Simba, "Holy shit Kovu they're back. Never speak of this don't mention it, think it, and you sure as hell better not dream about it!" Kovu, "Okay I won't, neither will you we have to keep this a secret, they can never find out the truth about what happened when they were gone." Nala and Kiara were the 1st to arrive back. Kovu greeted them in a suspicious tone, "Hi guys you're finally back, nothing happened while you were gone nothing, Simba and I didn't do anything crazy like hav…Uf!" Simba punched him in the stomach right then and there and said "Sorry about him he had some bad "herbs" or something and has been delusional for the past few hours." Nala spoke, "Simba what was he talking about?" Simba, "Nothing, nothing at all he's just delusional and has been ranting on all day about some dream he had." Nala, "Oh, okaaay." And with that she and Kiara walked off. Kiara, "Mom what's up with Kovu and Dad?" Nala, "I have no idea, but something tells me that they did something and are trying to hide it. Now we just need to figure out what that something is. It can't be that bad the Pridelands are intact, the den is clean, Kovu's uninjured, they couldn't have cheated on us there aren't any other lionesses around, what could it be?" Kiara, "Mom maybe Dad's telling the truth it sounds like that's something Kovu would do he's not exactly the brightest bulb in the bunch. I'm kind of doubting that he even lights up at all." Nala laughed, "Yes, but your father is a spotlight when it comes to intelligence. Your father can lie and cover up the truth very well, but fortunately for us he has Kovu wrapped up in this too." Kiara, "Hey what's that supposed to mean, so what if he can't lie or act or even hold a meaningful conversation for that ...Ohhhh I see. We'll use Kovu against him so he'll be forced to do something stupid and tell us the truth." Nala, "Bingo!"
Simba and Kovu trudged along as they passed the water hole, Simba, "Kovu you dumbass you almost blew it why would you ever think of…Kovu?" Kovu "In Upendi where the passion fruit grow sweet." Simba roared, "KOVU WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SINGING THAT SONG AFTER WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?" Kovu, "Calm down King Cunt, my mind was wandering I wasn't even thinking about that!" Simba, "Just shut the fuck up you can't sing worth a damn you song worse that two cats being torn apart by hyenas, and even if you didn't this is no time for FUCKING SINGING!" Kovu, "It's always time for singing, besides I doubt you could do any better! I'm ten times the singer you'll ever be and besides the songs I'm in are a thousand times better than the ones you were in!" Simba, "You're sure about that? Why don't we let the lionesses decide?" Kovu, "Fine then Gramps just don't fall asleep in the middle of your performance." Simba "Shut the fuck up Kovu!"
The two gathered the lionesses at the watering hole. Kovu "Okay the elderly go 1st." Simba "Fine I'll pick the song too." Kovu, "Fine what song does his royal dickhead want?" Simba, "Bohemian Rhapsody!" Kovu, "What?" Simba, "I know that you're retarded but how the hell have you never heard that song? Here watch this." *7 minutes later* Kovu with tears in his eyes, "So beautiful play it again." Simba, "Why don't you just watch me do it live?" Kovu, "Consider rephrasing what you just said next time." Simba, "Oh, just fuck you douchebag." Simba walks up and starts to sing "Mama, just killed a man…" Lionesses, "OH MY GOD HE SOUNDS LIKE JESUS, THE BEATLES, ELTON JOHN, AND FREDIE MERCURY COMBINED! GO SIMBA!" Simba "Kovu you're up." Kovu screeching like a dying cat, "MAAAMAAA JUSTTT…" Lionesses, "MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" Kovu "Okay Simba maybe you are a better singer." Simba, "My love song was better too." Kovu, "No it wasn't!" Simba, "Yes it was we could actually sing and besides we had Elton John and Tim Rice you didn't have real artists and the guy who sang sounded like a dying cat." Kovu "I don't remember another guy singi…Oh, Fuck You. But your right it was better, but the other songs I was in were better than yours." Simba, "Nothing beats Circle of Life, Hakuna Matata, I just can't wait to be…" Kovu, "Fine they're all better, I still think I could beat you if we sang something from this century." Simba, "Like what?" Kovu, "Justin Bieber." Simba, "Hah the writer's making you sing some gay song!" Kovu nervously, "…Yeah…the writer's making me…right." A/N: LMFAO! Simba, "What are you laughing at you're the one making him sing those songs?" A/N: I'm just sitting back watching you guys this is all Kovu." Simba looked at Kovu, "See I'm right you really are a gay and bitchy pussy!" Kovu, "SHUT UP!" Simba "Just admit it I'm a better singer, leader, I'm buffer, stronger, better endowed *if you know what I mean*, better looking…" Kovu, "Wait just a minute cunt, I agree with everything else but I am definitely better looking than you!" Simba, "Earth to Lord Douchebag we just asked every single lioness and lion in the next thousand miles who's better looking and I won 99,999 to 1. Not even Kiara voted for you!" Kovu, "Yes she did who else would it have been she's apparently the only one who's not visually impaired out here." Simba, "Mashoga was the only one that voted for you and that's only because he still thinks you're in a relationship with him!" Kovu, "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU MOTHER FUCKING CUNT!" Simba, "Lord Douchebag calm the fuck down before Kiara and Na…Kiara, "Kovu what's wrong?" Kovu, "Nothing I was just a little flustered by King Cunt that's all." Nala, "Let's get to the point of my we came down Kiara." Kiara, "Okay." Nala, "Simba, Kovu we know that you're hiding something from us we want to know the truth what happened to you two?" Kovu blushed and said, "Well…we kind of…we…we" Simba, "Ate some of the bugs at the far side of the water hole to get high." Kiara and Nala, "Simba, Kovu why would you do that you should know as kings that you're above all of that…" *cue 90 minute lecture* Simba and Kovu, "Sorry we weren't thinking." Kiara, "Do you ever think Kovu you could have gotten my dad killed!" Kiara and Nala just walked off with a turn of the head and a *sigh*. Nala, "Something happened while they were hallucinating and we're going to find out what."
Simba, "Fag why were you blushing? It's because you liked it! They know that something happened while we were hallucinating, and it's because you fucking suck at lying!" Kovu, "Whoa, wait just one second, I was blushing because I'm embarrassed, I actually have some dignity and would like to keep it unlike you." Simba, "Kovu fuck you, but really next time just shut the fuck up and we'll be fine we can't let anyone know, Kiara and Nala would divorce us and everyone else would avoid us and think we're gay. It's bad enough that most people already think that we don't need to prove them right!" Kovu started to choke up and midsentence started to bawl, "Fine…I'm sorry. I didn't think about that, I'll stay quiet I don't want to lose Kiara and even though it doesn't seem like it I don't want to lose our friendship. Simba you mean a lot to me you're my best friend. Besides you're the only person who would be nice enough to care if something happened to me. Kiara loves you more than she loves me and cares more about you, sometimes I feel worthless" Kovu sunk into the back of the den and started to fight back the remaining tears. Simba, "Don't say that you aren't worthless, you mean a lot to everyone around here, Kiara loves you and would do anything for you," Kovu sighed. "Look it's okay, even if Kiara left you, I would never leave you alone, it's okay if you mess up I don't want to lose our friendship either you mean a lot to me too, Kovu you're my best friend." Kovu, "Really!" Simba, "Yeah Kovu really." A/N: Now kiss you two. Simba, "What was that?" Kovu went silent and Simba leaned in closer to see what was wrong. Kovu looked up and brushed his mane against Simba's and licked him on his lips. Simba, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING FAG!" Kovu blushed from the embarrassment and came to his senses. Kovu, "Sorry heat of the moment you were there and I was sad and you were being nice and we were finally connecting and then the voice and I kind of forgot that you were a guy, I mean I knew you were a guy but I wasn't thinking so we you leaned closer I thought you were coming on to me so I brushed up against you and I...kissed you in the heat of the moment. I FUCKING KISSED YOU!" Simba, "Calm down fag bag ...I guess it's not that bad …it was only the cheek…WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING WE HUGGED AND YOU KISSED ME, AND IT WASN'T ON THE CHEEK, AND AFTER WE HAD SEX OH MY GOD ARE WE GAY!? WHAT THE FUCK'S HAPPENING!" Kovu, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to we can't tell anybody about this, but I'm scared Simba am I gay." Simba, "I was about to ask you the same question Lord Fagbag you're the one won kissed me!" Kovu, "What did you just call me!?" Simba, "Lord Fagbag." Kovu, "What the fuck happened to pussy or Lord Douchebag!?" Simba laughed, "You've been demoted I don't like having homos high in my ranks!" Kovu, "Simba, just…Fuck you." Simba joked, "Do you want to be demoted to Sir Dick-a-lot Fagbag?" Kovu saluted him and jokingly said, "Sir no sir!" They ran out of the den laughing and went down to the field by the waterhole and gazed up at the stars.
Kiara and Nala walked away from the den and saw Simba and Kovu laughing as they left the cave. Kiara, "Maybe they didn't do anything; they don't seem to be worried." Nala, "I don't know your father handles stress very well." Kiara, "Mom why do you always make Dad seem like a sociopath?" Nala, "It's because when he's hiding something he can hide his emotions better than one." Kiara, "Oh, well I know that Kovu is far from one he couldn't hide his emotions to save his life." Nala, "I still don't know."
*Back by the waterhole*Kovu and Simba looked up the skies and called out what they saw. "There's a lion and a rabbit and look it's the hyenas." Simba, "Yeah there are many wonderful pictures we can see in the stars stories of the past. Look to the stars. Up there are the great kings of the past looking down upon us. Sometimes I come out here to speak to my father, he's my greatest advisory." Kovu, "Did you eat some more of those grubs Simba?" Simba, "Fuck you, I'm serious their spirits are up in the heavens watching over us." Simba, now singing, "As you go through life you'll see there is so much that we don't under…" Kovu, "Quit fucking singing, it's a great song and all, and I like it but tonight I just want to look at the goddamn stars!" Simba "Shut the fuck up every time I have this conversation I sing this song, I have to fucking sing the fucking song! Without the song it becomes some weird discussion followed with a long awkward silence!" Kovu, "So like the se…" Simba, "Birds and the bees, yes the birds and the bees." Kovu, "You aren't afraid to cuss me out but you can't say se…" Simba, "After what happened with you, Kiara, then what happened with you and I, I never want to hear that word again." Kovu, "Fine just sing the fucking song." *Simba sings We Are One* Kovu crying, "So beautiful just so fucking beautiful!" Simba laughed, "Whatever you say pussy." Kovu turned his head towards Simba and spoke, "At least I can hear the word se…" "Don't you dare say it!" "Without whining like a little cunt." Simba cocked his head to the side and smiled, through his teeth he muttered, "If you weren't married to my daughter I would fucking kill you, but since you are all I can do is this!" Simba charged towards Kovu, "Wait, Simba stop ittttttttt!" Simba tackled Kovu off of the small cliff that separates the Pridelands and former Outlands. Kovu screeched, "Why do lions have to get thrown off of every fucking cliff the ever come across? Why can't we just stand by the cliff and look down at the world, but no apparently lions are forced to stay at fucking sea level!" Simba laughed, "Lord Fagbag calm down it's just a tiny drop off it's not like I threw you into the gorge or anything so stop whining like a little bitch! Wait I just had an idea. If you fell into the gorge you'd die and that means there wouldn't be anything to hide anymore" Kovu halfheartedly laughed, "Simba what are you talking about?" Simba's eyes appeared to be blood red, he stepped closer and roared! Kovu started to sprint in the opposite direction of the gorge that was one fall he didn't want to experience. "Simba calm down, we can talk this out, wait why the hell are you even chasing me again?!" Simba roared, "It's because you're an annoying, retarded, bitchy, douchebag, fag that has a death wish! And you're the only other person who knows so with you gone I wouldn't have to worry anymore!" Kovu continued to sprint but was running out of breath and slowing down. "Simba I thought you said we were best frieinnnnn!" Simba tackled Kovu and flashed his claws, Kovu winced and closed his eyes, he was filled with fear and started to cry, but just before Simba slashed across Kovu's neck ending him for good, he sheathed his claws, leaned in and said "We are best friends dumbass! So stop crying like a pussy and get the hell up!" Kovu was enraged, he jumped up and attempted to slash Simba across the face but he missed by a hair, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT YOU TRIED TO FUCKING KILL ME!" Simba laughed, "April Fools Dumbass!" Kovu went berserk, "YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, MADE ME CRY, AND MADE ME PISS MYSELF JUST FOR A FUCKING FAKE HOLIDAY THAT WAS 12 FUCKING DAYS AGO!" Simba chuckled, "That sounds about right." Kovu turned around and looked Simba straight in the eyes and said "I fucking hate you and your dumbass antics!" Simba pull off his signature smirk and said, "Kovu you know you would die of boredom if I wasn't here to make your life a living hell." Kovu chuckled, "I guess you're right." Exhausted from the day Simba and Kovu collapsed on the ground next to eachother. Simba, "Goodnight homo don't get any ideas." Kovu defensively said, "Fuck you have fucking bad dreams!" Kovu whispered under his breath *I love you* Simba rolled back over, half-awake he was able to mutter, "What did you say," before he collapsed and fell asleep. Kovu thought to himself what the hell did I just say? He soon dozed off after choosing to ignore it.
The next morning Simba and Kovu awoke by the water hole. They were still on edge about the web of lies they were now caught in. Kovu spoke to Simba in a hushed tone, "Maybe we should just come clean it's really starting to get to me, I can't stand being watched by Kiara and Nala all day." Simba spoke, "There's no way we can just come clean, everyone will think their king and co-king are gay and will turn away from us, we'll get divorced, and soon we won't have anything. They'll never believe the truth, look just don't say anything." Kovu, "I know but we have to try I need to get this off of my chest and besides Kiara and Nala won't leave us over something this retarded." Simba grew uneasy, "We can't say anything at all, end of story." Kovu spoke. "Simba what if all of this means something?" "Like what?" Kovu spit it out, "What If we really are gay?" Simba roared, "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT FROM WE WERE HIGH AND HALLUCNATING END OF STORY IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN THAT!" Kovu, "Geesh calm down King Cunt I was just joking."
Kiara and Nala walked up to them and had a million questions to ask, they had caught the dead end of the conversation. Nala spoke 1st "Simba what did you do that was so bad while you were hallucinating? Spit it out come clean!" Then Kiara went "Yeah what the hell did you two do that was so bad that you can't tell anybody? ANSWER ME KOVU! Kovu didn't know what to do he sunk down and started to cry then Simba broke in. "Nala, Kiara. Kovu and I" Kovu interrupted Simba mid-sentence, "we kind of accidentally…ate all of your hidden stash of candy when we were hallucinating and had the munchies. We knew you told us not to touch them because they were for some special event, I had a heart attack and was ridden with guilt. Kovu began to sob *acting* "I ruined your special event I didn't mean to I knew it meant a lot to you. I didn't mean to can make it up to you two somehow." Nala and Kiara are now delirious.*acting* Both "We were kidding we just didn't want you to eat our goddamn candy! I can't believe you're crying Kovu!" Simba was about to kill Kovu and through closed teeth said, "See I told you retard it was nothing to them." Nala and Kiara walked off and stoped laughing. Nala, "So much for the truth we're just going to get bullshit lies, but luckily for us Simba has Kovu to deal with, so we know he'll eventually come clean or mess something up because Kovu can't act." Nala paused "What the hell are they really hiding from us, what did they do?" Kiara, "I don't know but it's pretty bad if it's making Kovu cry."
Simba and Kovu lay by the water hole. Simba, "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING TRY TO FUCKING LIE YOU FUCKING FUCK!?They didn't believe us at all but it did buy us some time for now, we have to figure out how to break the truth to them." Kovu, "That too many fucks for one day Simba." Simba, "THIS ISN'T A FUCKING TIME TO JOKE!" Simba started to write a plan in the sand with his claw. Kovu sighed, "Why don't we just gradually tell them just give them enough info to keep them satisfied until we can come up with a plan." Simba, "That's the smartest thing you've ever said, but dumbass that's what I just wrote in the sand. Lord Fagbag I just realized something," Kovu "What!" Simba started to laugh, "You finally learned how to read." Kovu, "Fuck you!" They started to walk back to the den. Simba, "We'll just tell them what happened last night 1st then gradually make the truth come out." Kovu, "So when are we going to tell Kiara and Nala." "Tell us what?" Simba, "Oh, hey Kiara, hey Nala." Nala, "Simba tell us what really happened." Simba, "Fine. So when we were high…we came back to the den and completely trashed it and broke quite a few items, and ruined some irreplaceable items." Kiara, "Tell us what else you two did." Simba and Kovu, "Nothing but that…we swear!" Nala "TELL US NOW!" Simba took a deep breath, "Kiara, Nala after we trashed the place and came to our senses Kovu was still a little dazed so he became extremely depressed. So after I tried to comfort him and he calmed down, he went silent. So I leaned forward to see what was wrong and Kovu came close…then he…brushed up against my mane like a hug." Nala and Kiara, "Go on." "Then he…kissed me." Nala and Kiara, "YOU TWO ARE TELLING US YOU'RE GAY!" Simba and Kovu, "NO IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Kovu started to explain himself, "No it's not like that, Simba had nothing to do with it. I was a little buzzed still and I was really depressed because I started to think about how you could leave me, how you stood up for Simba, but not for me even though Simba doesn't need anyone to stick up for him but I do, and then I thought about how all I really had was Simba's friendship and how I had acted and how I was going to lose it then I started to cry. But Simba being the nice guy he is told me how I was his best friend and how he wouldn't turn his back on me ever and how he would stay even if you left me, then he said no matter how bad I screwed up he'd always be there and how I meant a lot to him." Kovu had started to bawl mid-sentence. Nala and Kiara, "Awwww, that's so cute and sweet!" Kovu started to finish, "So then I stopped to replay those words the kindest thing anyone had ever said and he thought something was wrong so he leaned in to see. He was so kind that I kind of forgot he was a guy, I mean I knew but I wasn't thinking and when he leaned in it looked like he was coming onto me so in the heat of the moment I brush up against his mane and fucking kissed him, but it was all because of what he had said I kissed the words not him!" Nala and Kiara, "So you're saying you're gay but Simba's not?" Kovu, "No, I'm saying neither of us are gay it was the heat of the moment and he was just being so nice and forget it. Kiara just divorce me now!" Kiara, "Kovu it's okay I understand, I'm not going to leave you or divorce you I understand that you weren't thinking that happens all the time." Kovu, "Kiara thanks for understand, HEY!" Kiara and Nala ran off giggling. Kiara, "Love you Kovu!" Simba, "We dodged a bullet there." Kovu, "Tell me about it."
*Later that night outside if the den* Kiara and Nala walked up to Simba with big grins plastered onto their faces. Nala laughing, "Simba, what you told Kovu was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, but I still have a question about it. Why didn't you guys just tell us we would have understood Kovu does stupid stuff like this all of the time? As long as you didn't enjoy it or kiss him back!" Simba angered, "Believe me I sure as hell didn't." Simba cockily, "Besides Kovu was buzzed and even if he wasn't who could resist me? *Simba flexes* Lionesses, "OH MY GOD LOOK!" *lionesses faint*. Kovu in the background muttered, "Show off." Nala and Kiara started to walk off. Nala whispered to Kiara, "Kiara I still think they're hiding something." Kiara, "Mom give me a break, for Dad and Kovu that kiss was the worst thing they could dream of." Nala, "Maybe for your father but I still thing Kovu loved it!" Kiara, "MOM!" Nala, "What it's the truth; they spend 99% of their waking hours bickering with eachother they'd make the perfect couple." Kiara, "Well I guess you're right, but I can tell you Dad and Kovu aren't gay!" Nala, "I still have my doubts about Kovu." "MOM!" Nala, "What he's skinny, weak, sissy, annoying, cocky, vain, and annoying he's basically your average day teenage girl , just 10 times worse!" They walk off into the distance giggling on and on.
*In the den later that night* Simba and Kovu took part in a silent celebration. Kovu, "Yes, the bought it, they really bought it!" Simba nervously, "Hey, it was the truth, just not all of. I'm still surprised that they took it so lightly. I thought they would kill us." Kovu, "Wait, what if they didn't buy it and are just putting on another act." Simba, "I was thinking the same thing; Nala's too smart to fall for this, but I don't think we have to worry about Kiara anymore she believes us. She's too sweet and naïve to continue their hunt." Kovu, "Yeah you're probably right I'm just glad that they didn't find out that we…" Nala and Kiara, "WHAT DID YOU DO EXACTALLY!?" Simba and Kovu were startled and yelled, "Why do you guys have to always come in at the worst possible moment?" Nala, "SO WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?" Nala and Kiara circled Simba and Kovu their eyes filled with anger they were sick and tired of being lied to. Simba, "Guys all we did was…" Nala and Kiara roared, "WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR MORE OF YOUR LIES, LET KOVU SPEAK!" Kovu was nervous and started to ramble, "Well, well we didn't do anything we just…we just…watched…the…grass grow, yeah we watched the grass grow." Kiara, "KOVU STOP WITH YOUR BULL SHIT WE WANT THE REAL TRUTH AND NOT SOME POOR THOUGHT UP LIE!" Kovu sighed, "Fine! The truth is we hired prostitutes while we were high and had a good time." Kiara and Nala were growing restless, "WITH WHAT MONEY AND WHERE DID YOU FIND THEM THERE ARE NO LIONS IN THE NEXT 20 MILES! STOP WITH YOUR SHIT THE TRUTH KOVU, THE TRUTH!" Kovu looked up from the ground, his eyes started to quickly shift around the room. His breaths grew heavier and he passed out at Kiara's feet. Kiara, "God damn it Kovu!" Nala screeched at Simba, "TELL US THE GOD DAMN TRUTH ARE WE'RE GOING TO SPREAD WHAT YOU ALREADY TOLD US YESTERDAY AROUND THE ENTIRE PRIDELANDS!" Simba defensively stated, "Alright, alright already I'll tell you the fucking secret." Kiara and Nala, "Good." Simba started to mumble, "Kovu and I …" Nala, "What did you say?" Simba "Last night Kovu and I h…" Nala "You did what?" Simba whispered, "WE HAD…" and he pretended passed out hitting the ground under him with a pleasant thump. Nala and Kiara were now delirious, "WAKE THE FUCK UP SO YOU CAN TELL US YOUR FUCKING SECRET!" In their outrage they stormed off and went away from Pride Rock to bicker.
Simba opened his eyes and thought "Are they gone?" He looked around and sure enough they were off in the distance angrily waiting for them to emerge. Simba whispered so they couldn't hear. "Kovu wake up. Kovu wake the fuck up!" Kovu muttered, "Okay King Cunt I'm up. I'm up" Simba whispered into Kovu's ear, "They're waiting for us outside we can sneak out the back way like Kiara used to and head to the Female Lands which have been deserted ever since they came to stay with us." Kovu silently agreed. They silently moved the small rocks blocking the exit and slipped out the back way. They cautiously watched the grass, peeked around corners as they crawled low to the ground. Then when they reached the tall grass far beyond where Kiara and Nala could see broke out sprinting. They jumped over the river and crocodiles den, ran through the thick brush and finally stopped at the steep drop down above the Female Lands. Kovu started to whine to Simba, "Let's find another way down or you can go and make a path for me." Simba was aggravated and told Kovu, "I don't think so." Kovu "Simba what do you meannn?" Simba threw down Kovu and then jumped down with him, landing on him with a loud pleasant thump. Kovu moaned, "Not the 800 pounds again!" Simba angrily stated, "Why the hell do you think I weigh 800 pounds. Kovu shot back at him, "Why the hell do you always land on me fat ass?" Simba roared, "I'M NOT FAT I'M FUCKING BUFF! I'M ALL MUSCLE AND MY ARMS ARE TWICE THE SIZE OF YOURS! BESIDES I CAN BENCH AN OBESE ELEPHANT YOU CAN'T EVEN BENCH KIARA! FUCKING WIMP!" Kovu got defensive, "I'm not a wimp I can bench Kiara, besides your arms aren't twice as big as mine, *Kovu looks down* maybe they are but I'm not a wimp!" Simba went back, "YES YOU ARE, AND BESIDES YOUR IN NO POSITION TO CALL ME FAT YOU MIGHT BE A SKINNY LITTLE TWIG BUT YOU STILL HAVE A FAT STOMACH AND I HAVE AN 8 PACK! YOU'RE JUST A SKINNY WIMPY TWIGY BITCH WHO'S TWO HEADS SHORTER THAN ME AND HAS MUSCLES THREE TIMES SMALLER THAN ME! AND ANOTHER THING YOU'RE JUST A BITCH WHO IS ALWAYS TRYING TO GET ON MY SHIT LIST, AND I FUCKING HATE YOU AND WANT YOU GONE!" Kovu started to bawl, "Fine you don't have to be such a bitch about it, just get off of me!" Kovu was depressed and bawling still, he walked away from Simba and into the den they had previously stayed in. Kovu started to think to himself. "What if he's going to leave me, he's my only friend? What if I never see him again? What if he really means it and all I am is his retarded son in law? Why can't we stay friends, I didn't mean it I was just joking,…just joking." Kovu cried himself to sleep and began to dream. *dream sequence* Kovu awoke the sky was pitch black even though it was the middle of the day. He saw Simba running away leaving him. He jumped up and ran after him. He began to yell but his screams were silent. He cried in his head, "Simba wait!" but Simba couldn't hear him no one could hear him. He continued to run as the world around him started to crumble the ground beneath him disappeared and he began to fall. "Ahhhhhh!" *end dream sequence* Kovu awoke sweating and screaming, he looked around the cave crying, "SIMBA, SIMBA WHERE ARE YOU?" He burst out of the cave and started to frantically search. He saw Simba in the distance. Simba lay silently only making the slightest noise when he exhaled. Kovu sprinted to him, and lay down beside him crying. "Simba I'm sorry about last night please don't leave me, please I couldn't live without you you're my only friend the only thing on this earth that really cares about me." Simba slept through all of this. Kovu felt better to have him beside him and wrapped Simba's paw around him then fell asleep. Simba awoke the next morning and felt something soft and warm to his side he muttered, "What the hell?" He looked to his side and saw Kovu peacefully sleeping smiling. Simba jumped up he wasn't sure what this meant and began to pace frantically, he thought to himself "What does this mean I remember being angry at him and falling asleep why would my arm be around him? He must have moved himself there, but why? I'll have to ask him later." He sat silently about 30 feet away from Kovu waiting wondering, he seemed to peaceful to wake. Kovu awoke and looked to his side Simba was gone he began to worry and jumped up to search for him. Simba spoke, "Kovu why so serious all of the sudden?" Kovu ran up to him and hugged him, but Simba pushed him off, "What the hell? You really are a fag." Kovu started to ramble, "Simba I'm so sorry about last night I didn't mean to upset you. I thought I had lost you and that was the worst felling I've ever had I'm just so glad to see you again, you're my only friend and the only person who has ever cared about me. Simba you're like a father to me, you've taught me more than anyone else has, and you seem to be the only person who really cares, and you really are my best friend. Having you angry at me was far worse than even Nuka's death." Simba, "You really feel that way Kovu." Kovu nodded, "One last question Kovu, WHY THE HELL WAS MY AROUND YOU LAST NIGHT WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO NOW!?" Kovu, "Nothing, we didn't do anything. I was just so depressed and lonely and then seeing you still here meant the world to me. I just needed to be by you, knowing you wouldn't leave me." Simba was really touched by this and was lost for words, but he was also creped out by this entire ordeal. Kovu spoke again in a soft tone, "Simba you mean the world to me and you matter more than the world itself to me. You really are a father to me and I wouldn't be able to live without you." Simba and Kovu smiled and walked off into the distance completely silent.
Kiara and Nala had been watching them since last night; they had heard their plan and followed them out. Kiara and Nala, "AWWWWW! THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER! KOVU'S SO SWEET!" Kiara, "I can't believe Kovu feels that way about Dad." Nala, "I know they make such cute friends. I can't believe that Kovu's so caring and emotional. They really are just like a son and a father. Especially when Kovu hugged him, and then last night how Kovu reacted he's so sweet." Kiara, "Let's head back to Pride Rock and leave them be." Kiara and Nala walked off and then said in unison, "That's their secret that's why they were so embarrassed by it they don't want us to know how much they really care. AWWWW!"
Simba and Kovu went from laughing and smiling about their present situation to a much more serious mood. They had completely forgotten about Kiara and Nala they still needed to explain themselves and needed a plan. Simba, "Kovu we forgot about Kiara and Nala what are we going to tell them? We're going to have to eventually go back." Kovu war now worried, "I don't know Simba, I just don't know." They started to frantically think and then they both realized something and blushed from the embarrassment. Both, "We'll wait for the question, and tell them the truth." They nodded in agreement and walked back to the den nervous about what was about to come. Back in the den Simba laid down and Kovu went and lay beside him, "Simba." "Yeah Kovu." "I want you to know that everything that I said back there was true." Simba picked up his head and smiled, "Really!" Kovu smiled back, "Yeah Simba really!" Both, "Goodnight." They both put their heads back down and smiled; Kovu put himself against Simba and fell asleep. This reminded Simba of Timon, Pumbaa, and him, so he couldn't help but smile too. They awoke in unison the next day and didn't move they just picked up their heads, smiled, and looked around. They turned their heads to the left only to see Kiara and Nala standing staring at them. Kovu quickly yanked his arm away and jumped away from Simba who was in the process of jumping up too. Both screamed, "KIARA, NALA WE CAN EXPLAIN!" Kiara and Nala just laughed, both spoke, "There's no need to we heard you last night, and we think it's sweet that you two fell that way but are too embarrassed to show your soft side." Nala, "It's okay guys we know about you two we understand." Simba and Kovu screamed back, "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WE AREN'T GAY WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!" Kiara and Nala, "We know we heard last night, Simba we heard how you're like a father to Kovu. We understand that you guys are best friends we never doubted you two or even thought about that! Simba we didn't think you were gay when you spent all that time with Timon and Pumbaa and you three were even worse than Kovu and you." Simba and Kovu, "THANK GOD YOU WERE THERE LAST NIGHT!" Nala and Kiara laughed, Kiara, "We think it's cute that you two have and soft side you guys are such cute friends." Simba and Kovu sighed, not this emotional crap again." Simba, "We're just friends and that's it Kovu was just beside me because he was cold." Nala, "Simba we were there he was sleeping next to you because he doesn't want to lose you." Nala and Kiara, "AWWWWW!" Both, "So was all of this really over you two not wanting to show your soft sides." Simba and Kovu nodded. Nala and Kiara, "AWWWWW!" Simba and Kovu rolled their eyes. Simba, "Come on guys lets go home." Nala and Kiara were in the front giggling and talking about how sweet that was, while Simba and Kovu trudged along in the back. Simba spoke, "We did it, we lucked out, but we did it! I can't believe they think we would do all of this over be embarrassed about our "soft sides" give me a break." Kovu agreed, "I know we really did luck out I never thought we would get out this easy." Both stood in the back laughing and silently celebrating. Nala and Kiara looked back and noticed their celebration, Nala whispered to Kiara, "What is that about? Are they hiding something from us again?" Kiara rolled her eyes at her mother and said, "Kovu and Dad are just glad that we understood them quit being so untrusting and uptight. You're acting just like Zira!" These words tore through Nala who then defensively stated, "I AM NOTHING LIKE ZIRA WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT!? YOU KNOW WHAT KIARA YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE BITCH WHO DOSEN'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU TOLD SIMBA HE WOULD NEVER BE MUFASA, YOU HAD NO IDEA WHO HE WAS AND NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING, JUST LIKE NOW YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT US AND DON'T THINK YOU DO! YOU AND KOVU ARE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE EVEN WHEN YOU TWO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! BOTH OF YOU ARE TOO NAÏVE, JUDGEMENTAL, BITCHY, STUPID, YOU GO FOR CHEAP SHOTS EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG! YOU TWO ARE TERRIBLE AND SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN!" Kiara broke out crying and sprinted away from Nala, sobbing she went into the cave where she, Timon, Pumbaa, and Kovu had taking refuge from the rhinos. "I'm not loved by anyone why do I even live there? I should just leave all of them!
Kovu and Simba stood stunned when they saw Kiara run off sobbing, they had been completely oblivious to the entire argument and were shocked to see Kiara just rum off like that. Simba spoke 1st "Kovu what the hell do you think that was about?" Kovu was still puzzled by what had just happened and paused before responding, "I don't know, I just don't know." Simba was just as puzzled as Kovu was, "Nala seems angry she must have said something critical, but then again Kiara can get emotional she probably just took something the wrong way." Kovu agreed with Simba, "Yeah you're probably right…for once she's probably over reacting." Simba realized something, "You know this means we won't have to worry about them anymore, and they'll be too focused on their current predicament to even think about getting the whole truth from us." Kovu, "Prewhat-a-ment?" Simba rolled his eyes and sighed, "Kovu when I got you a fucking dictionary for your birthday, I EXPECTED YOU TO ACCTUALY USE IT! Have you ever even cracked it open yet?" Kovu thought for a second, "No I don't think I have." Simba, "Well you need to; you have the vocabulary of a retarded new born cub." Kovu, "What's voc-a-bu-lary?" Simba muttered to himself, "And he's got the brains of one too. *Now yelling* JUST OPEN THE FUCKING DICTIONARY IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO DO!" Kovu decided just to ignore Simba they started to run over to Nala who was far ahead of them. When they caught up with her they started to ask questions, Simba was 1st to take a shot, "Nala what happened to Kiara and why was she crying?" Nala quickly responded, "I put the little bitch in her place she thought she could speak like she was so high and mighty so I told her the truth. Just like you should of when she made her bullshit Mufasa comment to you." Simba was surprised, "Nala I know she can be a little bitchy, but you still can't just put her down like that you have to tell her what she did wrong 1st. Believe me I wish I could put Kiara in her place all the time, but if we did she would continue to overreact like this and we would never be at peace with her again." Nala was aggravated, "I can do whatever I want I am the queen and I don't care if she gets upset she needs to learn how to control her emotions! Besides if we never correct her she'll never learn!" Simba analyzing his every word on wrong word could make her go berserk and he didn't need two lionesses rampaging through the Pridelands. "I know you're right, I wasn't saying that we didn't discipline her I'm just saying we should kindly do it so she doesn't have a fit again." Nala started to stomp off, "Forget it I don't care anymore!" Simba and Kovu just shrugged and decided to walk back to Pride Rock. Simba was relieved by this and said, "At least they're too preoccupied to even thing out us right now, we're off the hook…Kovu…Kovu…KOVU ANSWER ME!" Kovu just looked up for a split second and looked back at the ground. Simba walked towards Kovu, "Kovu what the hell is so interesting about that particular spot?" Kovu looked up, "Oh. Nothing I'm just looking up pre-occ-u-pie-d in the dictionary you gave me." Simba just rolled his eyes and walked on, "Of all the lions my daughter picked why did she have to pick the retard, I think even Nuka would have been better!" Simba laughed when he looked back at Kovu angrily pawing at the pages, Kovu's anger soon swelled, "HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN SPELL THAT? WHERE THE HELL IS IT? SIMBA THE DICTIONARY'S BROKEN!" Simba walked over laughing slid the book by him and instantaneously opened the dictionary to the right page. Simba smiled and said, "Right here Dr. Dumbass." Kovu was angry, "Fuck you!*he paused* How the hell did you do that?" Simba lifted his paws into the air and said, "IT'S MAGIC!" Kovu, "REALLY!?" Simba chuckled and then said, "YES! IT'S THE MAGIC OF NOT BEING A DUMBASS!" Kovu started to walk again, "Simba, just fuck you!" Simba, "I bet you'd like that Lord Fagbag!" Kovu pounced on Simba who was still laying down only to be flung off and hit his head on a rock. Kovu yelped, "FUUUUCCCCKKKK! OW! OW! Simba help me." Simba broke out laughing, "Sorry you're on your own dumbass, so quit whining like a little bitch." Kovu finally recuperated and saw Simba in the distance out by Pride Rock, Kovu started to sprint towards him. When he got close he started to slowly creep towards him, only to realize that he was sleeping, now was his chance. Kovu pounced, "GOTCHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Simba had been awake and could hear Kovu's footsteps; he flung himself out of the way at the last second sending Kovu flying off of the edge of Pride Rock. Kovu yelled from the bottom, "REALLY AGAIN! WHY DO WE HAVE TO FALL OFF OF EVERY FUCKING CLIFF WE COME ACROSS?!" Simba laughed from the top of Pride Rock. "Kovu it's your fault you should've known that I could hear you!" Simba could hear Kovu whimpering but couldn't see him. "Kovu where are you? Kovu? Hello." "GOTCHA! AYEEEE!" Kovu rolled up into a ball in pain Simba had tried to kick him in the stomach sending him back off of Pride Rock, but his foot was just a few inches to low. "MY CHILDREN! WHAT THE FUCK SIMBA!" Simba was red and out of breath laughing, "Kovu I'm sorry I was aiming for your stomach." Kovu was delirious, "YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN! I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIR, PISS OR DO ANYTHING FOR A WEEK!" Simba chuckled, "Doesn't look like you're going to have a cub either, Kovu roared in defense, "OH JUST FUCK YOU! I ALREADY HAVE A CUB ON THE WAY!" Simba rolled his eyes and said, "Don't remind me I'm just now getting over the fact that Kiara chose you." Kovu, "Hey, hurtful!" Simba, "You don't have to whine like bitch you pussy." Kovu looked at Simba, "Simba whatever happened to that I don't remember?" Simba looked up, "I don't know." Simba, "AHEM!" A/N: She's working on it give her a break! At least she didn't get fucked by Kovu! Simba roared, "OH FUCK YOU, I LIKE THE OTHER WRITER BETTER BRING HER BACK!" A/N: Hey I'm giving you the better lines Simba besides I'm only standing up for her we all know that Kovu's the only gay one here!" Kovu, "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE JUST A B***H! WHAT THE H*** WAS THAT YOU'RE BLEPPING OUT MY CURSE WOR*** ****** ****" Simba laughed, "I take that back I like you, and no Kovu he's not bleeping out your curse words he's bleeping out all your words because you're a dumb ass fag!" A/N: Bingo! Simba roared in laughter and was turning red again. Kovu, "Ha, hey King Cunt I got my speech back!" Simba pleaded, "Come on 5 more minutes. PLEASE!" Kovu, "Now that I've got my speech back I have a few things to say." Simba ran to the den to get away from Kovu's lecture on the history of nothing. Kovu yelled from outside, "Hey get back here douchebag!" Simba had already gotten into his spot and began to drift off. "SIMBA! SIMBA! SIMBA! HEY SIMBA LISTEN TO ME!" Simba hadn't even been asleep for a second he mumbled to Kovu, "You couldn't talk for two minutes that's it you couldn't have found that much to say in two minutes!" Kovu, "Well actually…" Simba, "Kovu, just go to bed." Simba put his head back down and let his mind drift away into oblivion. Kovu waited for a few minutes and then he rolled up next to Simba, wrapped his arm around him, and without thinking he whispered, "Goodnight Simba I…." and dozed off. That night Kovu had the worst imaginable nightmare he dreamt that everything and everyone was gone and he was alone roaming a vast dark gloomy world only to discover there was nothing left on the planet, nothing at all. He ran calling out names but his screams were muffled, there was nothing left no one there for him he began to cry. *end of dream sequence* Kovu awoke crying and scared he looked over to his side to see Simba under his arm still. He was filled with relief and then, with tears in his eyes, he hugged Simba and was filled with a sense of protection and warmth, Kovu slowly fell back asleep without ever letting go. The next morning the two awoke once again in unison, Simba noticed Kovu wrapped around him hugging him and muttered, "Kovu what's this about?" Kovu quickly ripped his paws away from Simba, he blushed from embarrassment and was able to whisper to Simba, "I kind of had a nightmare and was scared…everything was gone no light, sound, or people anywhere so when I woke up I was terrified that I would be left alone so I made sure that I had reinsurance." Simba, "What by hugging me fag?" Kovu blushed again, "Sorry. I was scared! I've never had people in my life who cared before and now that I do I never want to lose you guys. You're what keep me going on every day. You mean the world to me Simba I was afraid I might lose you! " Simba wasn't sure how to respond, "Why am I so important to him? He still has Kiara it's not like she has left him. Has she?" Simba spoke cautiously, "Kovu… is something happening between Kiara and you?" Kovu, "NO, nothing happening it's just she has nothing in common with me she's great, but without you I'd be…alone." Simba understood what he meant. "Oh, I get it now. Kovu." "Yeah Simba." Simba sighed, "Sometimes I feel the same way…why should you have to worry though I'm not leaving anytime soon and neither are you so there's nothing to worry about, nothing at all!" Kovu smiled, "Yeah! Simba...I know I've said it before, but you really do mean a lot to me and I want you to always remember that…Hey you want to go to the lake by the waterfall?" Simba was still thinking about what Kovu had said and was caught off-guard, "I know that I sometimes hate Kovu, but he really means a lot to me, even though I want to kill him sometimes…okay most of the time." Simba looked up and answered, "Yeah let's go, Kovu you mean a lot to me too." The two started to walk towards the far off lake silent, but smiling.
Nala and Kiara were watching off in the distance they had bonded last night and were back on the search for the truth. Kiara spoke softly while she peered through the dense brush. "Mom why are we still doing this, we already found out the truth they were just afraid to show their soft sides." Nala thought for a second, "It's because of the way they reacted they seemed…happy, not just happy eccentric, I think they're hiding something much deeper and it was just a fluke that Kovu decided to show his soft side." Kiara, "Mom they were just excited that we understood them and didn't start making false acquisitions." Nala spoke a little louder now, "You've been using that dictionary that your father gave Kovu haven't you." Kiara nodded, "If only Kovu would crack it open for once, your father has had a rather hard time trying to water down his vocabulary for Kovu." Kiara and Nala giggled, Nala stopped and stood completely still for a few moments, "I still think it's weird." Kiara glared at her, "Find what weird?" Nala paused again and looked at Kiara, "Last night when we got back to the den how Kovu was sleeping next to Simba, just hugging him." Kiara rolled her eyes at her mother, "Mom get over yourself, I thought it was sweet." Nala, "I just don't know. Come on." Nala started to run over to where Simba and Kovu had disappeared and she looked around. "They're heading to the lake." She continued to sprint to the lake and Kiara followed. "KOVU WATCH OUT!" Kovu barely made it out of the way in time, they had made it to the lake and were relaxing. Kovu yelled from the outside of the lake he hadn't gotten in yet and was just lying by the side, "Hey, watch out! It would help if you I don't know STOPPED TRYING TO LAND ON ME!" Simba laughed, "Calm down Lord Douchebag and stop being a bitch, I was just diving and besides I'm not going to hit you you're out of the lake." Kovu, "Yeah, but it still helps if you DON'T GET ME WET!" Simba rolled his eyes, "Lord Douchebag don't be such a bitch if you get wet it's not the end of the world, so get over it Fagbag. Now I see why you were hugging me you're a little fag! THINK FAST!" Simba splashed and Kovu ended up with a face full off of water. Kovu roared, "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY NOW!" Kovu jumped into the water and started to chase Simba who was swimming away and laughing. Simba laughed and said, "I wouldn't be so sure about that." Simba splashed Kovu again. Kovu was laughing too now, "Get back here, I'm going to fucking get you and then I'm going to kill you!" Both of them were swimming and splashing in circles laughing, until Simba got an idea, "HEY KOVU!" Kovu turned his head, "WHAAAAAAAAA, OH COME ON! Simba? Simba where'd you go?" Simba had splashed Kovu as a diversion...Kovu, "Div-ver-sh-un?" A/N: KOVU DICTIONARY! Kovu looked up, "Oh yeah." A/N: AS I WAS SAYING! Simba had splashed Kovu as a diversion so he could get underwater for his other plan. Kovu screeched, "OWWWWW! MY CHILDREN!" Simba revealed himself and gasped for air, "DAMMIT KOVU YOU MOVED AGAIN! I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU IN THE STOMACH SO YOU WOULD CRAMP AND DROWN!" Kovu was recuperating from the hit, "YOU TRIED TO KILL MY CHILDREN AGAIN!" Simba laughed and said, "Stomach to make you drown not your balls your stomach." Kovu was subdued by the pain, "That's just as bad, but WHY?" Simba shrugged and laughed, "It's because you're a fag and I was bored, so why not entertain myself?" Kovu was still frozen in pain he had moved to the shallow waters to rest, "Simba I fucking hate you, you're just….impossible!" Simba joked with Kovu, "I'm not impossible if I was impossible I wouldn't exist, therefore I am merely improbable." Kovu had his mouth wide open, "What the hell does that mean? And what's im…im-pr." Simba cut Kovu off midsentence, "Dumbass! This is exactly why I bought you that dictionary...Kovu why the hell do you have to be such a dumbass?" Kovu, "I'm sorry that I'm not as in-tel-lee-gent as you!" Simba clapped his hands, "Congratulations Kovu you almost learned a new word!" Kovu's pain had subsided, "SIMBA JUST FUCK YOU!" Simba couldn't help but laughing, "Kovu just lie down before you hurt yourself, or did I already cover that?" Kovu roared, "YOU ALREADY COVERED THAT CUNT! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT MY BALLS ARE INSIDE OF ME!" Simba rolled his eyes and started to climb out of the water, "It's not my fault they're tiny and are light enough to be moved." Kovu jumped out of the water and roared, "FUCK YOU SIMBA LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID LOOK!" Simba was lying down only to have Kovu shove his groin in Simba's face, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Simba kicked Kovu in the groin knocking him down; Kovu lied in pain stomach up. Simba noticed Nala and Kiara both had angry looks on their faces, Both of the lionesses roared, "JUST BECAUSE YOU TWO HAVE SOFT SIDES DOESN'T MEAN YOU GO AROUND TOUCKING EACHOTHERS "SOFT SIDES"!" Simba was confused, "What the hell are you two talking about?" Both, "YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WE SAW KOVU HUG YOU LAST NIGHT AND NOW WE CATCH YOU WITH HIS DICK IN YOUR FACE, WE'RE DIVORCING YOU TWO FAGS, LEAVING AND ARE TAKING THE REST OF THE PRIDE WITH US!" Simba and Kovu stood in defense; Simba spoke, "WHOA! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! I KICKED KOVU IN THE BALLS BY MISTAKE WHEN I WENT FOR HIS STOMACH AND HE HAD TO BE A FAG AND SHOW ME WHEN I WAS RESTING! I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE IT AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER IT! NOTHING HAPPENED HE WAS JUST BEING AN IDIOT!" Nala and Kiara, "SURE WE BELIEVE YOU! QUIT BULLSHITTING US IF YOU TELL US THE TRUTH WE MIGHT LET YOU OFF EASY! SO ARE YOU TWO WILLING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU'RE GAY?" Simba and Kovu roared, "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WE AREN'T GAY, NOTHING HAPPENED AT ALL! IT WAS JUST STUPIDITY; WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OR THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! NOTHING HAPPENED AND WE SURE AS HELL AREN'T GAY SO STOP BELIEVING THAT!" Kovu, "Guys before you talk again listen to me! Nothing happened I was just angry and was being stupid Simba kicked me so to get back at him when he was resting I…showed him up close that's it! It doesn't mean anything it was just payback Simba didn't want it or anything like that I was being stupid!" Nala and Kiara, "We don't believe you! You two have been acting too oddly lately! TELL US THE REAL TRUTH!" Simba spoke, "THAT IS THE REAL TRUTH THE 100% TRUTH!" Kovu broke he couldn't handle the guilt anymore, "Nala, Kiara the reason we've been acting so strange is…that…when we were high…we kind of…went to the den and we were dazed and confused…one thing led to another and we went to full Upendi. It wasn't Simba's fault he thought I was Nala and it wasn't my fault it was those goddamn bugs!" Simba, "KOVU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Nala and Kiara, "YOU TWO HAD SEX! WHAT THE FUCK YOU TWO REALLY ARE GAY! WE'RE GOING LEAVING YOU TWO FOREVER DO YOU CAN SATISFY YOUR CREEPY FUCKING URGES! WE CAN'T BELIEVE IT WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT!" Simba spoke, "We've regretted it all week we couldn't think or control our actions Nala it's not what you think we aren't gay it was just thoughtless, senseless, meaningless sex that I didn't even start it was all Kovu who initiated it I thought it was you I swear!" Nala, "GO SUCK KOVU'S DICK SIMBA!" Simba, "Nala please it wasn't like that I didn't feel anything before, during, or after it wasn't gay it was the drugs. Besides I love you and no one else I would never cheat on you especially with someone as ugly as Kovu. Please believe me it's the truth we didn't even know what was happening! We aren't gay we love you two please believe us!" Kiara, "Mom, Dad's right Kovu was being stupid and couldn't think and Dad isn't used to that kind of stuff it wasn't his fault he couldn't control anything, besides Dad isn't gay and he never was or will be, it was all just some fluke believe me I know Dad wouldn't do that he can't even stand being hugged by Kovu or any other guy, let alone having them that close to him. Listen to Dad he speaks the truth." Nala, "Kiara I don't know I want to believe him, but after everything else…Simba I love you look me in the eyes do you love me and only me?" Simba looked into her eyes and without moving said, "Nala of course I love you and only you, you're my soul mate, my other half I'm nothing without you I have never and will never love anybody else but you." Nala had tears in her eyes, "I believe you Simba I'm sorry for doubting you, I love you! I forgive you and Kovu I believe you two, you aren't gay." Kiara, "Kovu do you feel the same way about me?" Kovu looked down and paused then looked Kiara in the eyes, "Yes I love you and only you with all my heart!" Kiara, "I forgive you and believe you I'm really sorry for doubting you." Simba, "It's agreed that we will never speak or mention any of this ever again!" All four, "AGREED!" The four walked home laughing at the whole ordeal. When they got back to Pride Rock Nala spoke, "Simba…Kiara and I need to be alone tonight to discuss this don't come after us." Simba nodded in silent agreement and the two girls walked off. Kovu let a breath of air out, "I'm glad they took it so well and didn't leave us. I don't know what I would do if they did." Simba spoke, "Yeah, it sure would be tough I'm glad they understood, but remember even if they did leave we would always have eachother." Kovu paused and then smiled, "Simba you really are great the way you helped me through so many things this week and the way you understood me and didn't walk out on me when bad things happened. Thank you." Kovu hugged Simba and with tears in his eyes said, "You really helped me make it through this…and you helped me find who I really am you gave me a better life." Kovu continued the one sided embrace then Simba hugged him back, "Kovu you help me through a lot to I want to let you know that you are the most important person in my life you help me through good times and through bad times and you never leave." The two let go and started to stare across the vast Pridelands and laugh, "Kovu this is all ours we have to protect it and make it a better place, us together." The two looked at eachother and nodded then they went silent and the two lied next to eachother then Kovu spoke , "Simba?" "What Kovu?" Kovu paused, "I think that I might." "You might what?" "Simba I think I might love you." Simba was surprised by this, "What do you mean? Are you…gay?" Kovu shook his head, "No…I don't think so…I didn't mean that….or maybe I did…I don't know Simba…I don't mean it that way…I just really care about you like how a son loves his father…I guess?" Simba was relieved, "Okay, that's what you mean! I care about you a lot too Kovu you're my best friend, I think we're as close as a father and son." Kovu whispered, "Simba if I really did love you…not like a father and son…what would you say?" Simba was caught off guard, "I don't know Kovu…I don't know." Kovu, "Neither do I." They paused for a few seconds and said, "Goodnight." As Simba dozed off Kovu muttered to himself under his breath, "Simba I think I might love you." And Simba sat there in thought I don't know what I would say, I would say no. He means the world to me more than Nala does, but I love Nala and I have to stick with her." Kovu thought for hours and finally came to a conclusion, I love Kiara to much to leave her, I would have to say no even though Simba mean the world to me I took an oath to unite Kiara and I. But, if we ever do break up I…don't know." Nala and Kiara were far off in a peaceful slumber happy to know the truth at last. Simba and Kovu lay there silent, smiling, and sleeping. The sun slowly peaked its head over the Pridelands and everything turned gold. Simba and Kovu laid there silent thinking about the question thinking of their answer. Simba and Kovu began to drift away even though it was the middle of the day. Everything faded into shadows and everything was lost.
To Be Continued in
"Is this true love?"
I do not own any of the Lion King characters or areas depicted in this story; most are owned by Disney. I would like to thank Petitprincess for letting me use Mashoga and the Female lands that are owned by her. I TLKSimba only own the story and nothing else.