This is the detailed version of Chapter 1 – Ana and Christian- Having a Baby! This follows After the Boathouse Proposal- same characters, same theme and for those of you who like my version of the relationship between Elliot and Christian, I hope you agree with my belief that that he might have been the reason Christian made it home that night from the bar. Enjoy Chapter 1 and I will have the one-shot up this weekend as I am traveling for work right now.
Thank you for all the great reviews, comments and support. Lilly
Chapter 1: Pregnant, No, No, No.
"I know neither one of us is ready for this, but I think you'll make a wonderful father," Ana tells me tearfully. "We'll figure it out." This isn't like putting a fucking puzzle together.
""How the fuck do you know?" I am yelling at her. "Tell me how!" I am scared shitless. This is the last thing I expected her to tell me tonight. I actually thought she was PMS she was acting so strange all day and tonight. I have to get out of here before I say something I will regret even more. "Oh, fuck this!" I put my hands up in the air. I give up. If she can't see how much this will fuck up our lives, I don't know what else I can say. I need to get out of here and think without her fucking waterworks making me feel guilty.
I can't believe this is happening. Fuck! I shouldn't have walked out on Ana, but god damn it how did she let this happen. I should let her know I just need to have some space to calm down and think this through but I am still too fucking pissed. I am standing outside of John Flynn's office and it is locked up. I just walked here on auto pilot and I desperately need to talk to him so I call his cell and he doesn't pick up. Shit. I look around and keep walking. My cell vibrates and it is Flynn.
"John, I am sorry to bother you but I need to talk to you. Please." I am pleading with him.
"Christian," he is whispering. "I am sorry but I am at a school function with my children can we talk in the morning?" How ironic. See this is what kids do to you. They take up your free time, what little you have and they require way more than a selfish prick like me is willing to give.
"Sure John. I will call your office in the morning." I am just standing here like an idiot on the street. My cell vibrates again. It's Taylor. If I had wanted his company I would have told him. I text him.
I am fine I just need to walk – stay there with Ana
Christ if he heard how I rejected my wife when she told me she was pregnant, he would probably want to quit. Both he and Gail love Ana and I can't imagine I will be welcome in my own home after going off on Ana when she told me. Pregnant! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! I wanted to show her the world. I wanted to take her to Africa for our anniversary next year, spend New Years in Aspen and take her to Australia in the spring. She's fucking 22 years old, she's too young. I don't even know if I want kids. I told her maybe down the road, but was I ever serious about that? God damn it! I won't leave her, I love her way too much and she is everything to me. Shit, what if she thinks I left because I don't want her and the baby. Christ I should go back, but I don't want to talk to her right now. I am so pissed off.
How did this happen? Well when you fuck twenty times or more a week, I suppose the odds are against you at some point. But she was careless. At some point she forgot to get her damn shot. As much as we fuck, she shouldn't have even missed a day. I lost control of this. I should have been more on top of it and dragged her to see Dr. Greene myself. I will be calling Dr. Greene as something about the math on this doesn't work. I know this baby is mine that isn't even a question, but how could she be pregnant when she had a shot right before the wedding and it is suppose to be good for 90 days. Well, in the future, this will never happen again. One kid and that will be it. Fuck! I don't want this to be happening. Was Elena right? She told me Ana would end up pregnant right away as a way to keep me. But surely Ana wouldn't feel the need to get pregnant to keep me. I'm not going anywhere. I love her so much. She is the only thing that matters to me. I don't want to share her with anyone or anything including a fucking kid. Wow, I can't say that. She's pregnant now and that is my baby, my child. That is not just a fucking kid it is my flesh and blood.
I'm just so scared to have a child. What kind of father will I be? A terrible one! I am startled when a car horn goes off. I have just stepped in front of a car crossing the road. "Fuck you," I yell at the idiot who doesn't realize that the pedestrian has the right of way. I look up. How the hell did I end up here outside of Esclava? I didn't even pay attention but I have walked about ten blocks. I look at my cell. Ana hasn't called me. I text Taylor. What if she left? Shit. She can't leave me.
What is Mrs. Grey doing?
She went into the library. She was quite upset.
Don't let her leave.
Yes sir, will you be back soon?
I look up and see Elena Lincoln staring at me.
"Christian, are you okay?" I don't say anything. Of all the people I don't need to be talking to right now it is Elena Lincoln. "What are you doing here? Have you finally come to your senses and left that child bride of yours or do you need a sub? Tell me love, what brought you here."
I still don't say anything. I just look at her. Fuck she is disgusting. I keep walking, cross the street and enter the bar across from the salon called "Papa's Bar and Grill." Another irony. I sit down at a table in the back and look up to see that Elena has followed me. I don't want her here but I don't have any desire to tell her to leave either. My mind is elsewhere. Fuck, I can't believe I am going to be a father. I can't believe my wife is pregnant. No, No, No.
"Let me guess, Christian. Little Ana can't keep you satisfied."
I walk over to the bar and order a bottle of red wine. The wine isn't that great here, but I don't care so I order the most expensive bottle of red wine on their menu. It is going to make me feel like shit tomorrow as it is some shit wine costing all of $40 a bottle. He asks me how many glasses. "One." That bitch can get her own wine.
I sit back down and pour myself a glass of wine. I look at my phone and close my eyes.
"Aren't you going to offer me any wine Christian?" I don't respond and she gets up and gets herself a glass, pours some wine and sits down.
"Did you have a fight with your wife?" Elena smirks and I still don't respond to her. "I am talking to you Christian."
"I didn't invite you to join me and I don't want you here. Contrary to what you may think, I was just taking a walk and I wasn't coming to see you. So take your wine and sit somewhere else."
"Christian, I am sorry about the way things happened at your birthday. I shouldn't have approached Anastasia that night. I just knew you were making the mistake of your life being with her and it looks like I was right." I give her a glaring look and slam my wine down pouring myself another glass.
"No, you're not right, even though it isn't any of your fucking business, she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am totally in love with her."
"Oh Christian, are you still squawking about love. Don't be ridiculous. Anyway will you accept my apology? My life has been dreadful with your mother ostracizing me with all of our mutual friends." Elena is trying to get my sympathy and I could care less. How have I never noticed that she is really not that attractive? She needs a pound of make-up to even be presentable. Ana is so naturally gorgeous that it is no wonder Elena is jealous of my sexy hot younger wife.
"I don't give a fuck about your social problems. My mom has her reasons for doing what she did, what did you expect Elena? Not interested in your apology or having anything to do with you and yes I am still squawking about love. Ana is amazing. Now leave me the fuck alone." I pour another glass and slam it down.
"Well, you sure don't act like a man in love. What's the matter darling. You can tell me."
I just glare at her.
"What does little Ana want to have a baby or is she not giving you what you need?" Elena is trying to piss me off and I just too preoccupied with the baby news to give a fuck about anything she has to say. But maybe she needs to know a few things.
"First of all shut the fuck up Elena. Second, my wife is the best fuck I have ever had and I can't even think of a single woman I have ever been with that matches her on her worst day. She is beautiful, passionate and more than enough for me. The only regret that I have is that I didn't have her sooner in my life. Third, when are you going to realize that our age difference has finally caught up because as I look at you right now Elena, I see a tired, older woman who I have absolutely nothing in common with and certainly not anything I would still fuck. So, quit with the bullshit." I get up and walk to the bathroom. I am hoping she is gone when I get back. She is still sitting there and I sit back down. I don't say anything and I finish the bottle of wine. Christ I have never drank this fast in my life. I can feel it going to my head.
I get up and order another bottle and when I sit back down Elena reaches over and touches my arm. I pull away and freeze. I can't stand that she just touched me. Elena looks shocked and I am surprised at how vile her touch is too me. She reaches in again and runs her long nail over my wrist. "Let me fuck whatever is bothering you away. I know you don't mean what you just said to me." I know my face must reveal how repulsive she is too me. I feel sick and pull my wrist away, slam my wine down, pour some more and drink that as well.
"No, Elena, you will never touch me again. I haven't thought of you as anything other than the old fucking bitch that taught me how to fuck in years. Hear me again Elena, there is absolutely nothing about you that I find remotely attractive. I can't believe I wasted years on you. Look at you, you are an old used up bitch. I have told you and I love my wife more than life itself. We have an amazing relationship, she is everything you could never be and she is beautiful as well. So don't ever fucking touch me again." Elena's cold face is frozen. I shiver. Fuck she is a mean cold bitch. What did I ever see in her?
"Christian, I wasn't serious darling. And wow, I know you can be cruel, but this is me baby, you don't have to pretend. You don't have to over react. I was just teasing. I am happy with Isaac. I miss our friendship of course, and miss your mother despite how she feels about me, but I guess I can see that you are really going to try and make it work with Ana, although I will never understand why. I don't bear either of you any ill will and I can see that you prefer to be alone to work out whatever is bothering you. Please tell me though you're not thinking of knocking that girl up."
I slam my fist hard on the table knocking her wine glass over. I grab Elena by the back of her neck and pull her close to my face. I see several people staring but no one steps in. "That girl is my wife and yes we are thinking about starting a family not that it is any of your fucking business. Yes leave. I shouldn't be here and certainly not sitting with you. I got distracted over something and needed a walk, but you need to be clear, the wheels on my marriage have not fallen off and you are nothing more to me than a bad memory and I am glad I don't have to deal with you on anything anymore including the salons. So get the fuck up right now and leave me alone Elena or so help me god I won't ask you nicely the next time." I can tell she is nervous now and she pushes her chair back.
"Well, my business is going wonderfully and I am pleased that I don't need your guidance to run it anymore. So, I guess this is it. You don't even want to try and work out our differences?" She stands up and picks up what must be her purse but it looks like a god damn suitcase it is so big.
"There is nothing to work out Elena. I don't want you in my life and I don't see any reason for us to ever talk to each other again. You have crossed way too many lines in my life. Please go." I stumble up to stand even though she doesn't deserve for me to be a gentleman, I always stand when a lady leaves. And I want her to leave so hopefully this will get her to move her ass out the door.
"Well then, Christian, I will always wish you the best. Do I get a hug goodbye?"
I just stare at her and finally whisper. "No Elena. Just please leave." She looks hurt but finally leaves. I just don't give a shit. I sit back down and drink the rest of the bottle. Fuck I am getting smashed. I see her walk out the door. Thank fuck. I wonder if I will remember this conversation later. Who cares? I have bigger problems like the fact that I am going to be a father. Fuck!
I need your help, come get me. I send a text to Elliot.
A few minutes later Elliot replies. What the fuck r u talking about?
I am at a bar called Papa's Bar and Grill cross from Esclava, just fucking come get me.
I see Elliot's name come up on my phone. God damn it why does he have to call me. "Elliot can't you just drive over here and pick me up. I fucked up bad and Taylor isn't here, no one is here." I can hear that I am slurring my words a bit.
"Christian you sound wrecked. What the hell happened?"
"Are you going to fucking come and get me or not?" I stand up and shit the place is spinning. "Bourbon." The bartender looks at me like he might not comply with my request. "You have a fucking problem? I said I want a glass of bourbon." I throw a hundred dollar bill on the bar.
"Christian, I will be there in twenty minutes, don't fucking go anywhere and maybe you should quit drinking."
"Fuck off. Don't tell Kate you're coming to get me, she will call Ana. I fucking mean it. Don't be a fucking pussy and tell her." I can hardly talk. Shit. I am encouraging my brother to lie to his fiancée. I can't worry about that right now.
I put my head down on the table and before I know it I hear a chair pull out next to me. Christ did I pass out?
"So what the fuck has happened?" I look up and Elliot is sitting next to me with a beer in front of him and a glass of water for me.
"Get me another bourbon." I push the glass of water away and he pushes it back in front of me. He looks like he is pissed. Why is he pissed? His girlfriend isn't pregnant.
"No more booze. Start talking." Elliot is glaring at me.
"I fucked up bro, I am a motherfucking dickhead and I fucked up."
'If you fucking cheated on Ana, I will kick your motherfucking ass." Elliot is about an inch away from my face pointing his finger at me. He is really pissed.
"Get out of my face Elliot." I won't hit my brother but he better get out of my face. "No, I didn't cheat on my wife, I love her. But I walked out on her tonight and I am a motherfucking dickhead."
"God damn it Christian. We have already established that you're a motherfucking dickhead. Just tell me what happened. I have to be at a construction site at 4:30 am and it is going on eleven so tell me what the fuck happened before I throw your ass in my car and just drop you off at home.
"Get me a bourbon and I will tell you a secret." I look up at him and reach for my wallet so he can pay for my drink. I drink the water in front of me and shiver.
"Put your money away. You can barely talk. But fine you want more I will get you more but you have to tell me what happened." Elliot gets up and buys me a shot of bourbon and slams it down on the table in front of me. He leans back in his chair, "start talking."
"You can't tell anyone. Not your fiancée, mom, dad, Mia, Amigo no fucking one."
"Okay, I won't. What the fuck happened god damn it. You're making me nervous."
"Ana told me tonight that she is pregnant. I was so fucking pissed off about it I yelled at her, accused her of getting knocked up on purpose and then walked out on her." I slam the bourbon down. "I'm an asshole."
"You motherfucking dickhead! What is your god damn problem? Your gorgeous wife tells you she is having your baby and you treat her like that. What the fuck is your problem?"
"I don't want to have any kids right now and maybe never. Elliot you know how fucked up I was when I was adopted. What kind of father could I be? I will suck at it." I slam my fist on the table. "I wanted to take her to see the fucking world. I wanted to have her all to myself. Now it will be crying, diapers, fuck ass nursery shit songs, old people cars, no sex and a fat wife. Fuck, fuck, fuck this isn't what I want right now." I rub my hands through my hair. I feel Elliot's hand on my shoulder and he is back in my face.
"Well too fucking bad! You should have thought about that before you fucked your wife 21 times a week. Are you that fucking selfish? You have more money than you know what to do with and you will be able to afford nanny's and shit anytime you want to go somewhere. Mom will be all over this. She will love taking care of her grandbaby. Hell Christian, I don't know what kind of father you will be, I don't know what kind I will be someday, but you don't get to decide that now. It's too late for that. You need to man up, go back to your wife, and make this right. I am not even going to listen to this shit anymore. You're drunk as hell, you're really pissing me off and you need to apologize to your wife. Come on I'll drive you home."
"What if she won't forgive me?"
"Shut up Christian. Just. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You sound like a god damn immature selfish prick and you need to go home, sleep this off, and change your god damn attitude. You know that Ana loves you even though you can be a real fucking asshole. You and I are not done talking about this. I will be coming by to see your ass tomorrow when you're sober and if I am going to beat the shit out of you, you will be sober enough to remember why. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt because I love you and you're my brother, but tomorrow, you better have a change of heart. Now get the fuck up before I knock you out and carry you out of here." Elliot is really pissed. I get up and holy mother fuck, I am wasted. I should punch him for grabbing me but he is right. I wish he would hit me.
We walk out of the bar and I almost fall off the curb. Elliot grabs me by the neck and pushes me to his truck. I start to argue about getting in, I don't know why but I tell him I will just walk home. If I get in the truck I will pass out.
"Don't say another word Christian. I mean it, get in the motherfucking truck." I start laughing. "There is nothing fucking funny, and you are about to see me lose it little bro. Now get in the god damn truck." He has the door open and he is pushing me in.
The next thing I know we are in the garage at Escala. Taylor is waiting for us.
"Did you call him Elliot?" Taylor looks pissed too. Well fuck him. "He works for me Elliot or did he forget that?"
"Get out Christian before I do or say something I will regret. I will be seeing you tomorrow and we will talk about this then. And when I show up, don't even think about making me wait or make some excuse. I won't tell anyone about this because it's not my place. No one will ever know you told me until you and Ana announce this together and you work this out. So don't worry. But so help me god, if you go up there and say one thing out of line to your wife and I find out I will kick your ass. Got it?"
I nod and reach out to shake his hand. "Thanks Elliot, I won't say anything to her bad. I love her so much. You know she is everything to me right? I just wasn't expecting this. I will be good I promise. Don't be pissed at me?" I lean back and close my eyes. The door opens and startles me. Taylor nudges me out of the car. I see him look at Elliot and shake his head. "Fuck off Taylor." I shake him off and almost fall out of the truck.
"Sir, let me help you upstairs." I stumble to the elevator. When the elevator finally stops I exit and Taylor goes up to his quarters clearly disgusted with me and I run into the table in the foyer. Hmmm is this where the fucking little sperm escaped. I have fucked Ana on this table numerous times. "Shit." I scramble through the double doors and there she is, Mrs. Mother Goose. My wife.
"Mrs. Grey." I know I am barely standing and shit, even this drunk I can see that my wife is hot. No wonder she is pregnant, I can't keep my hands off of her.
""Oh…you look mighty fine, Anastasia." I want to fuck her. Pure and simple. But my pecker surely won't cooperate right now.
"Where have you been?" Oh here she goes.
I put my finger to my lips and smile at my wife. "Shh!"
"I think you'd better come to bed."
"With you…" I know I am snickering at her. But shit she is so fucking hot. I tell her she is beautiful and lean in and smell her long gorgeous hair. I lean on her and almost knock her over. She is so small. Did she shrink? She tells me to walk and that she is going to put me to bed. That is nice of her. She should be mad at me. My baby is so sweet. Baby. Oh yea, the baby, shit.
Ana tells me that I need to get in bed and we finally make it to our bedroom. She tells me I need to sleep. I don't want to sleep, I want to fuck.
"And so it begins. I've heard about this."
Ana looks confused. Don't play dumb Ana. "Heard about what?"
"Babies mean no sex." And that is one of my major issues. I need to be fucked all the time, and I only want to fuck Ana. And now she will never want to fuck. Ana tells me something stupid like if that was true there would only be one child in each family. I laugh because that makes sense. "You're funny."
"You're drunk." No shit. Ana pushes me onto the bed and I flop down. Christ the room is spinning.
"Join me." I can't sleep without her she knows that.
"Let me get you undressed first." Oh baby yes.
"Now you're talking." She starts taking off my tie and jacket. She is being bossy. I put my hands on her hips. Oh, I think my dick might be coming back to life. "You should always be in satin or silk." I pull her forward and put my mouth next to her belly. A baby is in there. My wife has another human being inside of her. "And we have an invader in here. You're going to keep me awake, aren't you?" I have a visual of Ana holding a baby and being tired all the time, not wanting sex and not having time for me." You'll choose him over me," and I realize I am jealous of my own child.
"Christian, you don't know what you're talking about. Don't be ridiculous- I am not choosing anyone over anyone. And he might be a she."
A she! I hadn't even thought about that. What if it's a girl? I don't want a baby but if I have to have a child - it just has to be a boy. I can't have a daughter. The only thing I know about females is not something I can even think about with a daughter. I don't know how to talk to little girls. I don't know what they like to do. I don't know why they think they way they do and I know what boys do to girls. I will end up in jail if I have a little girl because I will kill anyone that even comes near her. I don't want a baby and I just can't have a girl. I am going to be sick. I need to close my eyes and pray that I wake up in the morning and realize that this was one of my nightmares. In the morning Ana will be normal, she won't be pregnant and I will have my world back they way it was. The room is spinning. "A she…Oh,God."