Thank you for your patience. It has been quite some time and I am not sure how often I will update so I wouldn't say I am totally back…but I will do what I can.
I have been enjoying the great creative story lines written by the wonderful Mrs. Fraser… Fast and Furious and who isn't loving The Arrangement by Madison0705. That story has me hook line and sinker. Well done ladies! With those great stories I don't know if I have much to add, but so many of you have asked me to get this story going and I do miss you. Being selected as your favorite FSOG FF writer this past year was such an honor and I can't thank you all enough. So, the next story coming up is for your dedication and loyalty to me! Thank you!
This is the prequel to Caleb's story. I thought it would get you ready.
Thank you to all of you that have kept in touch and have been worried about me. Your thoughts and encouragement during my treatments meant so very much and gave me many smiles during a time that I needed it. You were an amazing support system! Thank you…truly. I am cancer free for now and that is all I can ask. Lilly
Prequel to: The Path of Caleb Grey (The next chapter will be loaded as a new story)
I silently grimace as I look at the photo I found in the back of my home office desk. I remember this photo being taken as though it were yesterday. It was our official Christmas card photo taken twenty-seven years ago. Caleb was two, almost three years-old, Henry ten, Phoebe thirteen and Ted fifteen. The kids are in their Christmas colors; red, green, cream colored sweaters and Ana and I are also color coordinated. I can't believe we use to do that. It makes me smile at what I have done over the years to be the ultimate family man. We are in front of our family room fireplace and everyone looks relatively happy. But I know better. That was the day Ana was so pissed at me she could barely smile in the photo. The reason for her anger happened the night before. I recall it as one of the last nights of activity for my swimmers…aka sperm. Now I laugh…not so much at the time.
I had a furious week at work. Deals were falling apart, I was working late, my children were driving Ana crazy so when I called three nights in a row to tell her I was working late, she let me know that I best get home on time the next night or she would have the kids in boarding school before I could pull down the driveway. She was pissed. All four of them had been acting out in some way. Everything from Teddy getting into a fight over a girl; Phoebe and Ava ditching Skylar at the mall and being what Ana said were the ultimate mean girls; Henry not turning in a report for school and getting a failing grade to Caleb climbing on the 20 foot Christmas tree in our foyer and knocking it over. That was just one afternoon's worth of infractions. She was done.
I in turn was exhausted, a bit cranky and my expectation was that she needed to deal with the problems at home. To make matters worse, earlier that day Elliot had come to see me and while making me laugh, he set up what was the catalyst to one of the biggest fights of our marriage.
"Elliot we are not women or ten and thirteen years old again. We are grown men and grown men don't go to the bathroom together, talk about shit that doesn't matter, get their haircuts and go shopping together and they certainly don't go with each other to get vasectomies. What the fuck is wrong with you?" I am leaning across my desk and even heard my own voice getting shriller and louder.
"Christian…Kate has given me an ultimatum and I know Ana doesn't want any more kids. Jesus, Caleb has fixed that for life for you." I nodded. My almost three-year old son had scarred Ana from even considering any more kids. He was such a handful that there was no way Ana would consider another baby. I brought it up the previous summer and she almost band me from the bedroom. I would have loved another baby. Ted was fifteen and growing up so fast. I wasn't that old. I was forty-three and Ana thirty-seven so we could have had one or two more children. But man, Caleb wore her out and she said no and if I brought it up again she would get her tubes tied. I knew that wasn't fair. She carried the children so it is was my job to take on permanent birth control. But going to get it done with my brother…no way. And I was just not ready to cave in on this issue. I also thought that Ana might still be a tiny bit willing to cave on her side if I worked her over enough. But back to Elliot.
"Christ Elliot…you want our mommy to take us too. Grow a pair…and go get it done. You don't need me to go with you. I mean I will drive you if you want…but going together….are you serious?" I could feel the sweat under my arms. This had me unnerved.
"Serious as a hard–on…which I don't get to use until I get it done…but if I have to go…and you need to go…I figured you could go with me…we can get it done together…lay on the couch and watch TV and commiserate together." He leaned forward laughing. "Anyway from what I heard from Jason, you might not even need one after the drop kick Caleb gave you the other day." I shivered and protectively placed my hands over my balls just thinking about it.
"Oh Christ that was unreal. I was wrestling with Caleb and Henry Saturday morning on the family room floor and Caleb came running full speed and jumped square on my nuts…I thought I was done for. I mean the worst pain I have ever had. It was a square head on hit. I almost passed out. A bullseye that judges would give a full ten to….what is so funny Elliot?" I looked up and Elliot was laughing so hard he was crying. "Seriously….what is so funny? He weighs about 40 pounds now. How would you like forty pounds dropped on your nuts? "
"Oh come on…nothing makes us dudes laugh harder than to see another guy take a shot to the sac. I wasn't there but Taylor said he was walking by and he almost passed out in sympathy pains then he had to walk away he was afraid you would see him laughing. He said Ted was walking by and lost it too but Henry was trying to get you ice and oh….wait…" Elliot is laughing too hard to talk. "He said Caleb was trying to rub your balls and you were dry heaving. Oh where is the camera when you need it? Anyway…go with me to get our nuts done?" He looks at me still wiping his eyes. I just stare at him. What an idiot. Finally I get back on task.
"Do you realize how stupid that sounds? No….abso-fuckin-lutely not! I'm not sure yet that I am getting it done. I want to take one more run at Ana for another baby." Elliot laughs.
"Good luck with that Christian. Hell if I had been around Caleb before having kids I would have never had them either."
"What are you talking about? He is more like you than he is any of us. I mean I know he is a handful, but he is getting older, and a bit easier to handle. He only escaped twice this week." We both laughed. My son had been a security nightmare since the day he was born. Taylor had actually used tracking devices on him in certain situations. Caleb was just curious and if he saw something that interest him….even if it was in the tree in the backyard and up twenty feet….he was going to find a way to get to it. He literally drove Taylor and Reynolds to drink.
"Just consider it. Mom referred me to Dr. Jacobson and I went to see him. He said it won't hurt but for a few days…your nuts swell…then your back in business in a few days. You will be nailing your wife…without swimmers in no time. You have four kids Christian…you don't need anymore. Come on go with me it will be…well it won't be fun…but I just…I just…man…okay I just don't want to go alone."
"Are you scared or something?" Christ I felt like I was talking to one of my kids.
"Well….to be honest…I am a bit."
"And what am I supposed to do hold your hand then drop my drawers and ask the doctor for a two for one…or four for two. Jesus Elliot, this might be the most fucked up thing you have ever asked me to do. The answer is no. Now don't you have a house to build or something?" I had massive amounts of work to do and a conference call in thirty minutes. "Go see Sawyer…he was thinking of getting snipped…maybe you can go with him…although I am guessing he will tell you to fuck off."
"No…I'm not going to ask him…that would be gay."
"And what the hell…asking me to go with you isn't? I will drive you…but…" I started laughing. "I am not going with you to get it done."
"Will see. I will tell Kate…she will tell Ana and you will get so nagged about this that you will end up going with me." Elliot got up and cracked his neck. "FUCK…it's barbaric. How bad do you think it will really hurt? Like they go into your nut sac and snip…oh man I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it."
"I don't think they actually have to cut like they did years ago. I tried to research it but it freaked me out and I stopped. Let me ask you…do you want more kids?"
"I would…but you know Kate has had several miscarriages and she just doesn't want the heartbreak anymore. We have two great girls…she is done. Her doctor doesn't want her on the pill anymore…so I'm screwed here…well actually I won't be if I don't get this done. She told me I had until the end of the month."
"Or what? I mean what if you don't get it done…what is she going to do? She wouldn't cut you off would she?"
"Absolutely…do you not know my wife? Once she gives and edict…that is it. It is getting the balls snipped or I will have to go to your son and borrow some condoms."
"He isn't using them yet." I lean back in my chair.
"You sure about that? I mean he is a stud."
"No…he isn't quite there yet. Kissy face…copping some feels but he hasn't been laid yet." Elliot raised his eyebrow at me. I know he was thinking that I was getting laid at fifteen and he was fifteen when he got laid the first time. "Trust me…I have a tight leash on him and security tells me about every move he makes. I know." I was confident of this and Elliot shrugged.
"Well by next year at this time….you won't be telling me that." Elliot got up and helped himself to some grapes in the refrigerator behind my bookcase.
"Back to the topic. If you need to get it done…man up and schedule it. Quit bugging me to go with you. We done here?" I opened the file folder on my desk with some legal documents to sign trying to send Elliot the message it was time for him to go. I looked at my brother and he was literally sweating and I started laughing again. Ros knocked on my door and handed me the folder for our conference call.
"Hey Elliot…why so glum?" He looked at her and shook his head.
"My wife is making me get snipped and I want Christian to get his done with me." Ros burst out laughing. Like a roar not just a laugh.
"That is the funniest thing I have heard in days. Two brothers going in together…that is just plain gay…and that is coming from me!"
"Well thanks Ros. I was hoping for some moral support here." Elliot did look glum as I recalled and I knew he was dead ass serious about me going with him.
"Elliot…do you mind not bringing this shit up…it is kind of personal don't you think? If I ever get it done, I wasn't planning on announcing it in the Grey House Headlines."
Ros waved us off and left laughing.
"Just think about it okay Christian? I gotta head out." I loosened my tie and sat down shaking my head. I was not going with him and getting this done. When my wife decided to cut me off due to our birth control …I would consider it…but who the hell gets a vasectomy if they didn't have to? I was soon to find out…
When I indeed did come home late the next night…hornier than hell, I was met with the cold shoulder and glaring eyes. Those blue, blue eyes that mostly warmed my heart were ice cold that night. But as I look back, I didn't much care. I was tired and wanted nothing more than a quick fuck and a good night sleep with my wife safely in my arms. I checked on each of my kids, grabbed the warm plate that Gail left for me and scarfed my dinner down quickly working my way right up to the bedroom where Ana was sitting in her rocking chair and throw rug in front of the fireplace, drinking Amaretto. How I remember that…I don't know. But I remember thinking that it was unusual for Ana to drink Amaretto rather than her nightly cup of tea or wine.
I removed my tie and threw my suit coat on the bed. "Aww god what a train wreck the past few days have been. I missed you. Come over her baby."
"Yea right." She didn't get up. That should have been my first clue she had business on her mind and it wasn't the kind I was thinking.
"What? I did miss you and the kids. Been a bitch of a week. I'm sorry I haven't been here but we got everything done that we needed too finally, so I should be back on schedule and home at my normal time going forward. I am sorry the kids have been out of sorts, I will talk to them tomorrow."
"No need superman. I got it covered." Back to her book. Cold shoulder. "They will each be writing essays all weekend and Caleb will be attached to your hip." Okay…not going to override her there. She was dealing with them…not me. I knew I would have extra duty over the weekend so she could have a break.
"Come on baby…don't be mad. Come here I missed you so much. You know what I need right now….come of over here and give me some of your sugar." I kicked off my shoes waiting for my usually accommodating wife. After a few minutes where I actually almost fell asleep I jumped up. "Ana…what is going on? God damn it don't give me shit because I had to work late and take care of business. Don't act like I would rather be somewhere else than with my wife and kids. I am too tired for that bullshit. Now I am tired, extremely horny and missed you terribly so please come over here."
I can still remember what took place next as though it were yesterday and not twenty five years ago.
"You want to have sex Christian?" she purred at me. That was more like it.
"Yes I think that is clear." At this point I was laying on the bed with my pants open and my hard dick in my hands. I raised my eyebrows at her and motioned with my finger for her to join me on the bed and on my dick. No point in prolonging the inevitable. We were both tired…and horny. I knew my wife and she had become an insatiable minx over the years. She met me fuck for fuck and as she hit closer to forty, she was on fire most of the time. "Come on baby…take care of me and I will make it worth your while." I felt something hit me in the forehead and grabbed it from behind my head where whatever it was fell. I looked at the item in my hand in surprise. "What the fuck is this Ana?"
"Umm….I think you call it a condom, prophylactic, raincoat, party hat, rubber it goes by many names. You decide."
"I know what the hell it is Anastasia…but why are you throwing it at me?" I was sitting up at this point, my once hard dick slowly deflating.
"Christian…you have refused to get a vasectomy. I. Am. Not. Having. More. Children. PERIOD. Do not hint. Do not pout. Do not ask. The baby factory is closed! After the past few days of these kids…I am done having more babies. I love them. But no more. I quit taking my pills four days ago. You want to get laid…wrap up the big boy…or go see the doctor with your brother and get this done. Your choice. Or…settle for a blow job or even a hand job. But….I have asked you to take care of this…now hopefully I have forced your hand. Elliot is going in two weeks…join him at the party."
I saw red. Like….madder than I had been in a long long time. "You just went off the pill without talking to me? Well that doesn't work baby. I have some say in this and I am not wearing one of those god damn things. We are married and well…that is just fucked up. Now get over here and let's hope this isn't your fertile time."
"What? Are you fucking kidding me Christian? Correct me if I am wrong here fine Sir…but as I recall…you aren't the one that has to carry a baby…you didn't basically give up your career to raise our kids and this is my body and I get the final vote. So…put the god damn condom on or jerk off in the bathroom Christian. I almost don't care right now."
"I have needs too asshole. Now….put it on or forget it. What will it be?" Wow…what happened next was even being a major asshole for me. I remember walking over to her. Still so pissed…but determined to show her who was really in charge. I hadn't acted that way in a long time….but something about her not consulting me and quitting her birth control and forcing my hand made me furious. But I was the master of hiding my hand. I walked over to her and put my hand out to her pulling her up slowly from the rocking chair. I reached down and kissed her softly.
"Let's not fight. I have missed you these past few days. I wish you would have talked to me before going off the pill. I am not quite ready to get a vasectomy but I can adapt for one night. I kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear and I whispered softly. "All day I thought about your hot wet pussy baby. I thought about getting inside of you and taking your stress away and having you make me feel better. I am sorry the kids have been acting up….let me make you feel better." I ran my hands up and down her side and slowly lifted her shirt up then removed her bra slowly. One thing about my wife, she always wore sexy lingerie for me…that night was no exception. I removed her bra one strap at a time, kissing her neck, her clavicle, each of her shoulders slowly. I felt her caving underneath my touch. And when I reached down into her pants and circled her clit and felt her wetness, I also felt her walls come down, heard her purr and she started kissing me with vigor. "Hard and fast baby? I need this." I walked her backwards to the bed as we were all over each other.
"Yes…yes Christian. You will….ah god that feels amazing…you are wearing the condom right?"
"Hmmmm….baby bend over. Get that luscious ass up where I can grab it and play with that amazing rosebud. Oh Ana…look at you. You are my goddess. I need your wet pussy." I kissed her feverishly…the back of her thighs, her back, her neck, and everywhere I could. She responded with ardor. We were both tired, tense and in need of each other. We were also both digging in our heals….I was pissed that she stopped taking the pill and didn't want more kids…she was pissed that I was working too many hours and was putting off the vasectomy that she thought I should get without question. But sex was our antidote for all that ailed us and after brief but rough foreplay I slammed into her pussy from behind. She grunted out several times…asking for reassurance that I was wearing the condom ...I grunted an unintelligible response that could be interpreted either way in the heat of passion. It wasn't until we lay there in the afterglow and she put her small hand in mine feeling the unopened condom package did she realize I had fucked her unprotected. And…I had deceived her.
"You asshole. How could you?" She jumped up and was furious.
"How could you Ana…make this major decision without telling me? I didn't agree to it. I only agreed to hold off having more babies…thus you were on the pill…but I never agreed to get a vasectomy and I sure as hell didn't agree to wearing condoms again like a god damn teenager. You are my wife. If I want to fuck you…I will. You end up pregnant…this is on you." I pointed my finger at her yelling so loud I was surprised I didn't wake up my children. I then bolted up and took a shower, immediately realizing I had messed up royally. When I came out of the shower to beg her forgiveness she was gone….in one of the guest rooms with a note on the door that said…."If you come in this room….I will call Taylor and tell him to remove you from the property for abuse. Because that was what you did." I felt terrible. The old fucked up Dominant was never that far away.
We worked through it…well I apologized repeatedly for almost a week before she would even speak to me. I finally caved in and agreed to go with Elliot to get the vasectomy and made sure I was home early from work to earn her favor. I fucked…no made love to my wife with her putting the condom on me to make sure I wasn't deceiving her again and took the kids out for a full day while she slept in and read books.
I had the vasectomy two weeks later with Elliot at my side to commiserate. I won't lie…when Ana got her period a few days later, I was a bit disappointed, but it would have been the wrong way to conceive a child. I never "abused" my wife's body again….and respected the boundaries she set forth from that time on. But the family photo I am holding in my hand was taken that very next day. It wasn't one of our happier moments. The kids never knew the difference but I will forever look at that picture and be reminded of that asshole that still lurks beneath. I also remember the vasectomy excursion that took place two weeks later. If something so miserable could be hilarious…it was that event.
"Rock, paper scissors to see who goes first?" Elliot looked at me with sweat and was deathly pale.
"Elliot…for fucks sake…I will just go. The sooner I get this done…the sooner I get laid again skin to skin. Christ when did you become such a pussy?" We are whispering in the waiting room.
"Oh I'm sorry 'Mr. I used to get off on pain,' I don't like getting my nut sac cut open…you clearly as the old King of Pain have a much higher tolerance for pain than I do. I'm the same kid that fainted when mom took out my sliver as a kid. This is terrifying."
"Man up…how do you think it felt when the ladies had our children? We need to get this done."
"Man you really hate wearing raincoats on your dick don't you? I would wear them forever or until Kate went through menopause to avoid this. My heart is beating so fast…if we wait a few minutes longer they can skip the vasectomy. I'm about to have a fucking heart attack here." I couldn't believe how nervous he was. He was literally shaking next to me.
"Quit it Elliot. You remind me of the dogs when we take them to the vet."
"Mr. Grey you can come back." We both stood up. "Mr. Elliot Grey."
"No he is going first." Elliot is pointing at me. "Mr. Christian Grey. He is Mr. Christian Grey. He is going first." He was pointing and pacing and I was starting to feel bad for him.
"No, I am sorry but we are set up for you first Mr. Grey." The nurse was standing at the door waiting for Elliot.
"Go on you pussy….just get it done." I nudged my brother secretly glad they called him first. Elliot took a deep breath and slowly stood up and then fell into a dead faint flat on the floor. It took over an hour to get his heart rate down enough to get his vasectomy. Meanwhile I went first and if I were honest, it didn't hurt that much. However, when I got home and the sedative wore off I laid on the couch with a bag of ice on my sac. I fell asleep only to wake up an hour later with Caleb playing show and tell with my balls to Piper who was at our house. The whole damn house new something was wrong with Daddy's balls and looking back I almost laugh over the whole event. Within a few days we were back to our daily plus sex and all was well. Time flies. Man it seems like yesterday.
"Hey what are you doing all alone in here? Did you talk to Cal?" I look up at my still beautiful wife.
"Looking at this picture…remember it?" I hand her the photo and she rolls her eyes at me still pissing me off when she does that.
"Oh yes. That is when you went all caveman on me as I recall and we didn't speak for a week. But you ended up getting the vasectomy and here we are." She smiles at me and kisses my forehead before sitting on my lap. She still likes to cuddle and snuggle in my lap after all these years.
"Do you ever wonder what one more child would have been like Ana? Ever have regrets that we didn't have one more?"
"Regrets? No? But I wonder if one more child would have made Caleb different. You know maybe less selfish…more adaptable."
"I don't think his being the youngest has anything to do with the person he is. And selfish isn't a word I think of when I think of him. But, he has never been the same since he was stabbed. He has been secretive….distant and engaged from a distance since that horrible day. We lost the son we knew…the fun loving child of his youth the day that motherfucker plunged that knife in our son's heart. An army of younger siblings wouldn't have changed the impact that day had on his life." I pull Ana closer and rest my head on her arm. When I think of my youngest son I grow weary. Now, I am keeping his secret because I don't know how to tell Ana what I learned earlier.
She whispers with a sadness. "I know. I try to pretend everything is okay. He engages with his nieces and nephews, he comes by to see us, Jason and Gail. He meets with Henry, Ted and Phoebe regularly….we let him go around the world for three years for god's sake. He dates beautiful women. He is covered daily in every damn periodical in print as the most eligible bachelor in the world. And…if you want to measure success…he surpasses even his own expectations. My god what did the Wall Street Journal call him…the best architect of the century and that he will be remembered in the same sentences as Frank Lloyd Wright, Caldor, Johnson and Pei. Yet I can't help feeling he is hiding something Christian. He was stabbed over eight years ago…we have supported him, loved him…I don't know what else to do." Ana wipes a tear away. I am so damn sick of that kid making his mother cry, but I hold my anger to comfort my wife. I can tell her enough to let her know that I am trying to address the situation.
"Ana…I talked to Henry this morning. He told me that Mike has reason to believe that Tongo has been lying to him as well to protect Caleb, and they have been following Tongo for the past month to see if we can figure out what is going on. Now don't say anything to even Ted about that until we know what is going on. I hate that we have resorted to this but we all know…Caleb is hiding something and it is getting worse not better. It is eating at him…that I know for sure. You can sense it even talking to him on the phone." I take a deep breath and rub my eyes. "But yes, I talked to Cal and he will be here for Christmas Eve and day." I turn her to look at me. "But interesting…he mentioned that he was bringing someone with him." Ana sits up. I try to gauge her response. I need to divulge what I know very slowly. And I know so little…but enough to be so upset that I don't know how I will sleep tonight.
"He is? A woman? Who is he bringing? Oh my god…that could be exciting. Maybe he found someone. He is about the same age you were when you met me….maybe he found his true love…oh this is great. I wonder who it is. He was dating that Jillian for quite a while. Do you think it is her? I am calling him for more information." Ana jumps up. "Do you want some tea?"
"No…I'm good." I hold up my bourbon and watch her walk away. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the second part of the news that Henry told me until I know more and understand it. I can't even comprehend what Henry told me. It doesn't make sense. Caleb doesn't know that Henry and I have that information. Caleb is bringing someone home for Christmas alright. But first he has to fly to South America where his mystery guest lives. I rub my eyes again and wonder how this secret was kept from us for so long. From what I can see…this secret is at least four years old.
I look at the photo that Henry sent me earlier of the beautiful child….whose name I don't even know….who is my flesh and blood. My grandchild…that part can't be denied. That copper hair….once again….on a child I didn't know existed less than eight hours ago.
Caleb…why? Why have you deceived us? Why do I think there is much more to this than a child he has hidden away in South America? There must have been a reason to hide this innocent's existence from us. But what…what else is Caleb hiding? What path did you take Caleb Grey that forced you to keep this beautiful child a secret? Do I let him know that we have found out about his secret…or wait until Henry can uncover more? Well one way or another Caleb…your web of lies is about to be over.