Chapter 82 –Legacy
I can't believe my mom just told me that Ana is in full blown labor. Evidently she is dilated to nine and if I don't hurry I will miss the baby being born and we are in fucking traffic. Screw this…"Open the door Taylor…now…unlock the fucking door." I get for security reasons my door is always locked but fuck…my wife is in labor. He doesn't argue and gets out with me and he knows I don't care what happens to the damn car. We both take off running, Taylor can't keep up with me and that is usually not a problem, but I am jumping over bikes on the sidewalks, dodging behind cars, oh fuck I just practically knocked some old man down. "Sorry!" I yell out but keep running.
We make it to the emergency door and Ryan comes running past us and almost in slow motion I see the car keys in Taylor's hands fly past me as Taylor tosses them to Ryan.
"Middle of the street, middle lane, block up from 7th and Barton." Taylor yells to Ryan as we keep running and Jeb is motioning for us to follow him. "Run sir it sounds like any second."
"What the fuck? Why didn't you guys let us know sooner?" I can't believe that this is a news flash. The last time Ana was in labor it was a two day event. How is this one popping out so quickly?
"Sir she was fine when we got in the car…I mean she looked fine to me. Then she yelled out right before we hit Interstate 5 and then she was like in labor doing all this panting and squeezing Gail's hand and shit it was like instant. She called you and as soon as she hung up she screamed so loud I almost drove off the road. Over here sir." He points to a room and as soon as I open the door I hear Ana scream. Her legs are in stirrups and my mom is holding one hand, Gail has the other and Dr. Green is sitting on a stool in between her legs.
"You are doing good Ana…this little lady is in a hurry. Here is Mr. Grey. Glad you could make it." Tell me she didn't just fucking say that. If I wasn't' so worried about Ana I would call her out. I nod and Gail moves out of my way.
"Ana…I will be outside. You're doing great." Ana burst in tears and I lean down to kiss her.
"What is going on baby…Dr. Green?"
"Your daughter doesn't want to wait for her due date and Ana went into full labor moving doubly fast…unlike when your son made his appearance, this one is ready to go. She is too far to stop it now. We have excellent blood pressure, strong heartbeat, 37 weeks and the baby is fine, she is almost 100% effaced and this little girl is crowning." I know I look confused. "Mr. Grey you can see the baby's head." I walk down and look at my wife and oh Christ…maybe I didn't need to see this. What the fuck is that? I know one thing she has dark hair.
"Don't look Christian…oh mother fuck, son of a bitch, fuck fuck cock fuck shit….Ahhhhh" She is squeezing my hand so hard I am going to have to remove my ring. Holy shit. What the fuck was that? Was that my wife yelling or did Satan just enter my sweet little wife's body. She has never swore like that.
"Sorry Grace. Sorry. It hurts. Can I push? Please. Dr. Green what is happening?" Ana is crazed and in so much pain. This is unacceptable.
"Dr. Green…why isn't my wife on something like one of those epidurals. Don't you see how much pain she is in?" I realize I have screamed out.
"Again, Mr. Grey it was too late for that. Ana may have been in labor last night and not realized it…we don't know…but this is quick…we are here now and I need you to calm down so you can be supportive." She gives me a dirty look. Yea I get it. Shit I wonder if the sex we had this morning triggered this. I feel guilty as hell now but I will ask her later, I don't think that is information my mom needs to hear.
"Ana…do you want me to step out honey?" My mom looks up at me.
"NOOOOO Grace. Don't leave. Don't leave." What the hell? Ana didn't act like this with Teddy but she never got very far in her dilation. She is like a demon right now.
"Okay honey you are almost there…right Dr. Green?"
Let's go…another contraction. Mr. Grey please take over the count that Mrs. Taylor was doing. Slowly to ten please. Come on Ana…there you go. Good. Mr. Grey and Grace let's lift her legs…I think we can push now."
"Push? Shouldn't we be pushing her into the operating room to get this baby out of there? What are we doing here?" I am confused.
"Mr. Grey…I told you…your daughter will be here in just a few minutes. Now hold Ana's leg up and let's push Ana. On the count of three….push….push….push….push….okay hold up. Her head is almost there." I feel like I am in a dream. The nurse is standing there with a suction…this is happening.
"Christian…are you okay?" Ana screams out. I must be in a daze. Man up Grey. Your wife is sitting there with her legs up in the air and a baby reading to pop out of her…fucking man up.
"Yea…baby I am fine…you're doing great. I am sorry I didn't get here sooner. We left the car in the middle of 7th and ran…I got here as quick as I could…I had no idea you were ready to deliver. Are you okay baby?"
"Its fine…its fine." She sounds out of breath and she is ringing wet. My mom wipes a strand of wet hair from Ana's head. "No more Christian. No more."
"What? Babies…Ana we can discuss this later."
"NOOOO ….sex…oh mother fuck ahhhhh" There is Satan again. Jesus my mom is going to need a shower to wash the filth coming out of my usually demure wife's mouth. I suppose this isn't a good time to tell her to watch her language. No more sex…yea right. Good thing I know she doesn't mean that. I know I am laughing and it is totally inappropriate, but no sex…I look up when my mom is snapping her fingers at me and giving me the evil eye. Oh….She doesn't think that is funny. Whenever we were kids and she wanted us to give her our attention she snapped at us. Hell…is she really snapping at me now? Yep…she mouths 'knock it off Mister.' I mouth back…'what?' She opens her eyes wide…as to say you know what…I open mine back as to say…no sex my ass…I am the former fucking DON of Seattle. This almost makes me laugh again but then I focus when Ana squeezes my hand so tight I grimace again.
"Okay Ana….ready to push….I think we can get her out ready…..and push….push…..push….push….Okay good job her head is out." I was looking at Ana but then I look down and see a shock of really dark hair…lots of it then the cutest little face I have ever seen. Dr. Green suctions her mouth and holy hell she lets the world know she is here crying right away. Oh fuck I am crying…Ana is crying and my Mom is sobbing.
"Is she okay…is she okay?" Ana is trying to look down.
"Come on Ana…one more little push…push…push…push…here she is…okay here she is. Good job Ana." Dr. Green has her and is wiping her down. "Mr. Grey…here you go…cut your daughter free so you can take her." I cut her umbilical cord and Dr. Green wraps her up and hands her to me. Oh my god she is so tiny and beautiful. I am crying like a school girl. She is feisty too…crying her little head off. I walk over to Ana and lean down with the baby and kiss them both."
"You are amazing baby. Here you go…here is your daughter, Phoebe Grace." Ana kisses her face and little hand and my mom gasps…we never told her what we were naming the baby and she burst into tears harder than before.
"Oh my god she is beautiful isn't she Christian?" Ana is kissing the baby and me back and forth and we are both crying. "Hi sweet little girl….you surprised us. Is she okay Dr. Green? She looks so tiny."
The nurse takes her and I watch as they weigh her. "Apgar is good…perfect. Her weight…this little lady is a whopping six pounds four ounces and she is eighteen inches." Yep she is definitely smaller than Teddy who weighed in over eight pounds and was a lot longer. She is dainty. "Her lungs are clear and for three weeks early…she is just fine." We both breathe a sigh of relief and the nurse hands the baby to me while Dr. Green works on Ana.
"What are you doing Dr. Green?" I have no idea. The C-Section was rather obvious.
"We need to deliver the afterbirth and get Ana taken care of. She is fine and this is routine. A slight tear Ana….I will need to give you just a few stiches. Let me numb you up."
"Oh now you numb me." Ana laughs. What the fuck are they stitching? I walk down to look.
"Oh for heaven's sake Christian…that is normal. Let Dr. Green do her job." My Mom lectures me again. She is gazing at the baby and I smile at her then walk over to her where she is standing. "Here mom…would you like to hold Phoebe Grace Grey." She practically pulls her out of my arms and sits down to hold her while inspecting her closely. I take Phoebe's picture and quickly send it to Mia, Brady, Elliot, Kate, Gramps, Sawyer, Andrea, Ray and even Carla.
Look who showed up early. Meet Phoebe Grace Grey.
I kiss Ana again and tell her I am going to step outside to tell Gail and Taylor. When I get there my dad is waiting and talking to the Taylor's and my security team.
"She's perfect. Phoebe Grace weighs Six pounds four ounces. She was born at 4:44 and she is healthy as a horse. Pissed that we didn't have a welcoming party for her…but all is well." Taylor, Jeb and Ryan all shake my hand and Gail hugs me. "Dad…you… can come in the room in just a few minutes but they are you know…doing stuff to Ana real quick. " He puts his hands up like he doesn't even want to go there. My cell buzzes. It is Mia calling.
"Oh my god….oh my god why didn't you tell me…is everyone okay?"
"Yes great…she is perfect. I assumed Elliot would call you I literally had no time Mia it happened so fast."
"Elliot called me but I thought he wanted to bug me about something we were arguing about. Shoot…I will be over soon. Give Ana my love, the baby looks so tiny in the picture."
An hour later we are in the room with my parents and Gail. Elliot has called to say he has Teddy with him and they are coming in the main entrance. He assures me Reynolds is with him as well. Taylor and I walk out to the front to greet them so I can tell my little guy what is going on before he is overwhelmed. Elliot is carrying Teddy in the front entrance and both Taylor and I notice a few paps waiting so I let them know we will have a statement later. These guys know not to take a photo of Teddy and surprisingly they honor that request. Elliot whispers something to Teddy as he carries him in and he twirls around in Elliot's arms and gives me a big smile when he sees me
"Daddy…daddy where's you been?" He squirms out of Elliot's arms and comes running to me. I hear one of the paps say 'Damn I could have made a fortune off that picture…too cute.' I pick him up and he is telling me how he was at Unc Yell-lots house and he held Ava and he had a hot dog and Unc Yell-Lots played baggie ball with him and they had ice cream and Unc Yell-lots farted or as he says, 'tooted' in the car. At this he laughs and I kiss his little cheeks. Elliot mouths that he didn't tell him anything about the baby. We walk over to the waiting area and I put him on my lap. I see Taylor walk over to the paps just in case this is too tempting for them.
"Hey buddy…guess what? Your baby sister is here?" He looks around the room and looks under the chair making both Elliot and I laugh.
"I no see her daddy." He shrugs his shoulders. "Where's mommy?"
"Would you like to go see mommy and the new baby? She is really little Teddy…so you have to be gentle okay?"
"Like with Ava?"
"Yes like with Ava. Do you remember what Daddy told you her name is going to be?"
"Yes…Bebe." I smile
"Close enough buddy. Ready. Now Mommy is in a bed and we can't be loud but she is so excited to see you." He nods and looks unsure so I pick him up and Reynolds, Taylor, Elliot and I walk up to maternity. "Okay ready to see your baby sister?" He puts his head on my shoulder and then waves to Ryan and Jeb. They both high five him. We walk in the door and the first person he sees is my dad.
"Hi Papa. We, we…we have a baby. Where's Mommy?" Gail excuses herself to go in the hallway making more room.
"There is my baby boy. Come here Teddy Bear." I hand him to Ana who still has the IV in her arm. He looks at her arm and then at Ana's face.
"Mommy have an ouwie?" He burst into tears and she hugs him. "No sweetie…mommy is fine. I missed you today. Did you have a good day?" He nods but looks around the room clearly a bit confused and overwhelmed as everyone is looking at him. "Grammie you have my baby?"
"No precious boy look over there." She points to the bassinet.
"I no have a baby. I have a duck." We all start laughing and Elliot cracks up.
"Yea…about that…I told him I had a duck in my stomach when I passed some gas on the way over." I can't believe he hasn't noticed Phoebe who is in the bassinet right next to Ana's bed. Either that or he is ignoring it. I prop him up and have him sit next to Ana.
"Here buddy…here is your baby sister." She is wrapped up so tight and so tiny he might not have even seen her. I pick her up and gently place her in Ana's arm and he is intrigued. We give him a minute. "What do you think buddy? Isn't she pretty?" My little guy shyly looks up at my mom and dad, then Elliot and finally back at Ana and me.
He bends down and kisses Phoebe on the cheek and tenderly as I have ever seen him kiss anyone and whispers "Bebe?"
"Yes that is Bebe?" He leans down and kisses her one more time and then scoots closer to Ana. We are quietly holding our breath.
"Daddy…does Bebe have pennies?"
"No…no pennies." He thinks about this for a second. "Phoebe is a girl." I tell him although I know he has no idea what I am talking about. He is still thinking this over when Mia and Brady walk in and he is ready to go play.
"Unc Brady has pennies." We all laugh not sure which pennies he is talking about.
We have been home with Phoebe a week. My schedule at work has had to all be changed. Little Miss Grey has messed up our schedule around here. God damn she is a sweet little thing. Ana is nursing again so right now I don't get to do much with her, hold her in the morning and at night or when Teddy is taking a nap. But my one full time job right now is Theodore Raymond Grey. He has been doing great with her, he just has been a bit emotional when it comes to Ana sometimes. He gets a bit bent when she is nursing. He is fascinated and wants to know why he can't have some of mommy's milk. We told him he use to but he is wanting a taste of Ana's puppies. That makes two of us. One week down…five to go.
Pink…god damn pink shit everywhere. Pink balloons, pink flowers, hundreds and hundreds of outfits in pink, stuffed toys…pink. I am about to go out of my mind. As soon as it hit the papers and news that Phoebe was born the delivery trucks were pulling up non-stop with gifts for the new addition. Andrea said there are enough baby clothes to supply an orphanage so that is what we tell her to do. I have asked her to go through the cards, write down what was sent so we can properly thank people and then donate everything. With that said, the items that have been sent to the house, my mom's house and my dad's office…unreal. I know we didn't get this much stuff for Teddy. I wonder if it is because these little girl outfits are so fucking cute. Ana changes Phoebe just because she wants to try new clothes on her. I have heard Gail squeal like fifty times when she is in the laundry room. "Oh look at this…how adorable…oh my gosh, she will look as cute as a little bug in this…" But everything is fucking pink. I hope my daughter grows up and hates pink.
Changing Phoebe's diaper took some getting used to for me. With Teddy I just move his little junk out of the way, wipe his ass and bam he is done. Little girls are a bit more complex.
Up until last week I thought Ted was this little guy…you know his cute little feet, little legs…so young. But now he looks huge to me. Phoebe is so tiny and dainty. Like Ava I guess. My mom can't wait to take a picture of Elliot and me holding our daughters. I guess I understand why it amuses her. We aren't exactly the kind of guys that know what to do with little girls but now that I have one, I can tell she will own me lock stock and barrel.
Ana walks into my office and she looks tired. It is almost eleven and she is in her robe, her hair in a bun and she is holding Phoebe. I get up from my desk and take the baby from her and she plops down on the couch. "Baby, as she been fed?"
"Yes. She eats like a lumberjack for being so tiny. I am so tired." She burst into tears.
"What's wrong? Go take a nap babe. I have her. With Teddy out with Mia I can give her my attention."
"I haven't spent any time with Teddy. What if he hates me? I didn't even say goodbye to him when he left with Mia."
"He was so excited he didn't even say goodbye to me. Baby…he won't remember this trust me." Mia picked him up this morning to take him to the Children's Museum and get him out for the day. He loves hanging with Mia and he always comes home with ridiculous amounts of toys and shit. She spoils him and nothing we say or do can get her to stop. She made Wilson and Reynolds wear shorts and a t-shirt today so they wouldn't look like bad ass security guys while they were out.
"You are doing everything you can do. Maybe you should pump a bit so I can give her a bottle and you can sleep."
"No. I didn't pump with Teddy for almost six weeks. I can't."
"Ana we have two kids now, both in diapers. It's a lot. You're doing great. I am exhausted and I don't even have to do half the work you are doing. Why don't you go pump, I will play with Phoebe and then I will come up and take a nap with you when I bring her up to lay her down." She looks at me and scrunches her eyebrows.
"What's that look?"
"Why do you want to come up and lay down with me?"
"Because I love you and thought it would be nice to hold you. Is that okay?"
"Sure but no funny stuff. I am not giving you a blow job."
"Wow…tell me how you really feel. I wasn't going to ask for one…today…maybe in a few days it would be nice…but I know you are tired. I promise I won't bug you." I put my fingers up. "Boy Scout honor."
"You were thrown out of the boys scouts." She looks at me and I wink at her. I can't promise to keep my hands off her ass or tits. I know we can't have sex but her body is looking good right now. Her stomach has a little pouch but fuck I am a lucky man. I know not all woman look this good after having a baby. She leans her head against my shoulder and we both stare at our daughter.
"I think she will look like me, but have your eyes." I look down at Phoebe who is sleeping soundly.
"Yea, I think she is going to look more like you too, but why do you think she will have my eyes."
They are already so gray. I can't believe how dark her hair is. My mom sent one of my new born pictures and she looks exactly like I did. Look at her little feet though."
I pull her sock off, which looks like a sock and shoe…Ana called them baby doll socks…and look at her super tiny feet. I cup her foot in my hand and my index finger is almost twice as long as her foot. God, she is so sweet. I know I keep saying that, but she is like really delicate and perfect. I laugh out a sigh.
"She has your feet." Ana tells me and I raise my eyebrow.
"She does. I hope they aren't as big…well maybe I do. They look like Teddy's too. You are clipping her toenails, I am not doing that. God damn they are so small…look at that." I kiss Ana's forehead. I think this is the first time the three of us have just sat here other than in bed and Ana is always nursing when we are up there. "I wonder if she will be funny and animated like Teddy. Or quiet."
"I don't know, hard to tell. I really do feel bad Christian. I haven't given him any time since she was born. Let me put him to bed tonight okay. Do you think he is doing okay?"
"He's fine and you know he is getting use to her. Other than when he told my mom to take her home with her the other day because she was crying too much."
"I know…oh my god that was so funny, I wrote it in his baby book. First reaction to new sibling…take her back she cries too much." We both laugh. He really did this. Phoebe was crying like newborns do and Teddy crawled up into my mom's lap and said, "Grammie…take baby Bebe home…take her back she cry too much." My mom started laughing pretty hard and said she couldn't take the baby back because the baby lived at our house and he pulled his face to hers and held both her cheeks and said, "Grammie…just do it." That really cracked me up because whenever he gives me shit about not picking up his toys or eating I will tell him, "Teddy…just do it."
Ana and I had a two hour nap before Phoebe woke up and I didn't even think of copping a feel or anything. We were both so tired. Ray and Maggie are coming today as they haven't seen the baby yet. We haven't seen them since the whole story came out about my previous lifestyle. I am a bit nervous about it, as the father of a little girl now, I sure as hell wouldn't want to find out my daughter married a guy like me. I hope he doesn't hate me.
I open the door to greet Maggie and Ray and give Maggie a kiss and shake Ray's hand. He looks me in the eye and tells me flat out, "You and I need to have a conversation my friend." Yep…I am going to get my ass chewed out. What can I say and what can he say that I haven't already replayed in my head over and over again.
We all enter the family room and Ray asks where Teddy is. We tell him that Teddy will be home before dinner and that he is with Mia. Ray makes his way over to the couch where Ana is holding Phoebe and he picks the baby up and shakes his head. "Well look at this Maggie. Isn't she the sweetest little thing? She is smaller than Teddy was isn't she? She looks like you pumpernickel. Just beautiful." He sits down next to Ana and kisses her cheek. "You feeling okay Annie. You look tired."
"Well dad, you know we are just not getting much sleep, but Christian has been great with staying up late at night with Phoebe and staying home to help. We just didn't expect her so early. But my labor was quick…oh my gosh, so quick…so all is well." She rubs his face and leans over and kisses him. "How are you dad? You didn't return my calls right before she was born. I know you were upset, and before you tear my husband's head off…I wasn't lying in the interview. Christian told me everything before we got involved."
"Well I am not here to talk about that with you. I am here to see my granddaughter and my little buddy when he gets here. So…let's not go there." I didn't think Ray would feel comfortable talking to Ana about this. But I know damn well he will want to talk to me.
"Ray…Maggie can I get you anything?" Ryan walks in and takes their bags up to the guest room and I nod to thank him. Gail comes out with ice tea and cookies and I suggest we sit outside where it is a great day out. Ray nods and hands me Phoebe before pulling himself up.
"Ana…should I lay her down in the Pac and play? I can move it by the door so you are closer." She nods that she would like me to do that so I hand Phoebe to Maggie and lift the Pac and Play and move it right in front of the door. As I am about to walk outside Ray grabs my arm.
"You know…if we are going to enjoy our three day visit…you and I should talk young man. I need to get some things off my chest." I nod and motion for him to follow me to my office where we will have some privacy. I look at Ana and nod. I can take whatever Ray has to dish out. I owe him that much. He doesn't know about Elena or my past. I will tell him whatever I need to tell him to assure him that I would never hurt my wife.
He sits down on the couch in my office and looks tired. I pick up my phone and let Taylor know we are in my office that I am not to be disturbed and that Ana and Maggie are outside on the deck unsecured. He sends Ryan out and I shut the door.
"Ray…I will answer anything you want me to and will tell you things you may not want to hear, but I want you to know that I am sorry for any pain that this whole thing has caused you…or concern and I hope you believe me when I say that my past is my past and I would never hurt Ana."
"I know you love my daughter and you're a good father and husband. But god damn it Christian, you should have come to me and not made me find out all the sordid details in magazines and the TV. I don't know what to believe at this point. That is my daughter out there. How do you think this all makes me feel? I hope you don't make my little girl do all that kinky shit to satisfy your needs….but what you do in your bedroom is your business as long as you treat her with respect and don't hurt her. Because so help me god Christian….if I ever find out you are torturing her or hurting her I will break your fucking neck." He looks up at me and gives me a cold stare.
"Look I deserve that based on what you know. I am going to tell you everything because I am not going anywhere and you and I need to sort through this shit. Can I get you something stronger than ice tea before I begin? I know I need something." I get two glasses of bourbon from my wet bar and hand him a glass.
"When I was fifteen my parent's friend…" I tell him everything about Elena. I feel he has a right to know. I tell him about years of counseling and ending it with her when I was twenty one. I share with him that I was obsessed with building my empire. He knows about my birth mother and the abuse and tries to interject that maybe that was what drove me to Elena, but I counter I knew better at some point and it was on me. I confess that I was a horny teenager that didn't resist all that much.
"So when I met Ana I was still only in the mindset that I didn't want a girlfriend, just someone…a woman that would provide sex to me in a contractual arrangement. I was immediately attracted to her from the physical stance…I was taken with her like no other woman I had ever met. I never intended to date her or have her as a girlfriend. I won't disrespect you and tell you I didn't want her sexually right off the bat. You wouldn't believe me and I would be lying. But I knew fairly quickly that she was not going to be like other women I was with. She was innocent and smart and I did broach the subject with her about entering a contractual relationship with me because Ray…that is all I had ever done. But I swear to you that never happened. It didn't happen for several reasons. First Ana didn't want anything to do with that type of arrangement and pretty much told me to fuck off…well she didn't say that but she might as well have. Secondly I instantly fell for her…and we both wanted more…so it never happened. I gave that lifestyle up the minute I met her. I respect her, love her and we have a great intimate life together. I hope you will believe me and understand that I am a better man because of your daughter and she gives me everything I need. She has given me two beautiful children and we are so happy. I will never ever hurt her."
"Okay…okay…is there anything else I should know?"
"No….I mean like what?"
"I don't know….you two aren't like swingers or any of that shit are you?"
"Ray in the three years you have known me have you not figured out that I would fucking kill another man if he even touched Ana. I am obsessed with her, possessive of her and there is no god damn way I would ever let my wife be with anyone else. Give me a fucking break here. I told you we are a normal happy young married couple. If you want me to tell you I don't have sex with your daughter…I think that it is pretty obvious by the fact you have two grandchildren out there and that we do. And if you expect me to stop having sex with my wife…that ain't happening either. But other than that…nothing goes on in this house that doesn't happen in the homes of every other married couple…and with all due respect those that are not married." I look at him so he knows I am referring to him and Maggie.
"I don't expect you to go celibate here just because I found out about your past…I am just saying…don't hurt her. She is a little bit of a thing and you're a big guy…you could hurt her if you practiced some of the stuff I read about." I put my hands up to stop him.
"I would never hurt her. Look this is awkward as hell Ray…having this conversation with my father-in-law about my sex life with his daughter….but I promise you we practice very safe sex in the context of how we mutually satisfy each other and she is always safe and a willing partner. God damn this is fucking bizarre…I don't know what else to tell you. I can't do anything about what I did as a young man…but I am faithful, respectful and in love with my wife…your daughter and I promise you…you have my word…I do nothing to hurt her. I don't practice that lifestyle anymore."
"So you are not whipping my little girl or anything."
"God no…did you hear anything I said? I would never…fuck Ray…I am telling you that is not what Ana and I have. Please…believe me…I would never hurt her." I swear I feel like getting on my knees at this point and begging him to believe me. It would crush Ana if Ray and I had a falling out. I like him and respect him a lot, and understand why he is worried.
"I can't and won't ask my daughter about this Christian so I am going to trust you and never bring it up again. But…I need to say this one last time….if I ever find out you hurt her….well you know what will happen."
"Yes sir…I do and I understand. But I need to say this one last time….it will never happen."
We shake hands and walk out to where Ana is sitting talking to Maggie while she nurses.
"Oh holy Jupiter…I need to take Benson for a walk." Ray is beet red when he sees Ana nursing. He turns around and just as he is about to go out the door Mia and Teddy come barreling in the door.
"Pop Pop!" Teddy runs into Ray's arms. "I saw stars fishes and held a baby tutle." He can't say that word for the life of him. He tells Ray about his day and talks non-stop. "You see baby bebe Pop Pop. She cries. She drinks milk on mommy's boobie." Ray just nods his head.
"Come on little fellow, let's take Benson for a walk and you can tell Pop Pop all about your day."
I watch them walk outside with Benson and Reynolds shakes Ray's hand and tells him that he will be following them. Ana wants Reynolds to oversee both Teddy and Phoebe. I want Phoebe to have her own CPO. We have debated this nonstop. Taylor thinks we are good to go until Teddy starts school. Mia snaps her fingers in front of me.
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
"No what did you say. Sorry."
"I need to talk to you privately.
"What's wrong?" I lead her to my office. She seems nervous.
"Well…nothing is wrong, but I need to run something by you."
"I want to own my own radio station. I want to buy out the station, the FM division…and I don't know how to do that and I want your help."
"Mia… that is a huge step. You have to go through the FCC for that and very few if any stations are profitable. Why do you want that headache?"
"I just do…I have found what I like to do and I want the morning slot and…"
"Mia… stop. If you want the morning slot that is one thing…but once you own a station…you need to drive revenue which might even mean firing yourself if your ratings aren't very high. Tell you what…I own a fraction of your station…as you know. Let me have Ros pull the numbers…look at it from an acquisition viewpoint and then we can talk. But you don't buy a station so you can have the main morning drive. There are other ways we can go about that." She nods but I am not sure she really gets it. "Anyway, I thought you were going to start the surrogate process soon." She shrugs.
"We aren't ready. We want to wait a few years. I am only twenty three Christian and we like our weekends and freedom. Right now…we are still really selfishly enjoying our own time together. So….think about it…I mean helping me go about this. I have to go. I promised Gramps I would pick him up and take him to go see Judge Roberts. He is in a nursing home now and Gramps wants to visit him."
"Ok…you have Wilson with you right. Gramps needs help getting in the car."
"I know and of course I couldn't shake Wilson if I tried."
"I will give this some thought Mia…I promise." She kisses me and I walk her out wondering if this is something I should stay out of or help her out.
When I walk back out into the family room I smile as I see my father-in-law…who I hope is truly sincere about not holding me to my past taking pictures of Ana, Teddy and Phoebe. Teddy is holding the baby and is all smiles. I watch leaning against the large column that divides the family room from the grand foyer.
"There he is…get in there son…I want a good family picture to put up in the house. Teddy give your sister back to your mommy and let your daddy in the picture will ya?" Ray nods at me. I guess this is his way of saying he has put everything behind him. I nod back and join my family on the couch. Ana has Phoebe, Teddy is on my lap and I put my arm around Ana and I know; just know that this picture will show a man that has a big smile on his face, with no more demons or secrets to hide. Just a happy man with his family.
Taylor and I are on our way to pick up Gramps. Grams died a year ago today and I want to keep his mind off things.
We walk into the Harbor Club and everyone stares as usual. I am not wearing a suit today, and dressed casually in blue slacks and a sweater as I went with Ana to take Phoebe to my mom's office. She has an ear infection and she was up all night.
Phoebe is a little over five months and the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Teddy was cute…so fucking cute at that age, but Phoebe is so gorgeous that people stare at her. She has huge round eyes as gray as slate…and my exact color. It is unreal how much they match mine, but other than that she is all Ana. She has dark almost black hair that is coming in curly. Her coloring is lighter than mine…she is pale like my wife, with rosy cheeks and the cutest little red lips. Mia said she looks like Snow White.
Phoebe is a sweet little thing and she lights up and lives for attention from Teddy. He is still rambunctious and my best buddy, but he is starting to see that his little sister isn't just a blob and now that he can make her belly laugh and smile he will sit and play with her and act like he is her teacher. He is really quite sweet towards her, although sometimes he is a bit too rough. She takes it pretty well and I think she will hold her own. She is so much smaller than he was at that age. She is my little sweetheart. She will cuddle with me for hours and not move. I love my evening time with her after I have Teddy settled down I love to just rock my baby girl. Ana thinks I am way gentler with her than I was with Teddy. I toss her up in the air and she loves it but its true I don't rough house her like I did him. She is just so dainty and I could totally see her being a dancer. I told Ana I would love to get her ice skating lessons when she gets a bit older. Growing up I always found the girls that did the Olympic skating to be so graceful and super-hot. Maybe I don't want her doing that. Back to Plan B….lady sumo wrestling. Ha…that is what Elliot and I always say we are going to enroll Ava and Phoebe into so we won't have to deal with boys bothering them.
We have a good routine at home. Ana checks in on Grey Publishing one day a week taking both the kids to the nursery. Sometimes she goes twice a week. Hannah comes over one day a week and on those days Gail watches the kids. The other days Ana is full time Mom which I notice…she won't admit it…but it is what it is…the days they don't go to Grey Publishing and the days they have Ana to themselves…Teddy is much more calm when I get home, Phoebe is not fussy and I come home to a happy place. Days they are running late or at GP, Teddy is usually tired and out of sorts, Phoebe is tired because she didn't sleep well at the nursery and Ana is tired. Just an observation. Okay I still don't like her leaving the kids to work. I made more money this past year than I did in 2009 and 2010 together. We don't need any more money. I would like to sell Grey Publishing along with a few other divisions. Maybe even GEH.
I have had more travel than I would like and last week I had a meeting in San Diego so I took Teddy with me, and Taylor brought Sophie. I don't usually do that but I thought Teddy would have more fun with another kid and I am glad we did that as she had so much fun. While we were in the meeting they hung out with Nolds in the hotel room then we took them over to Sea World for the day. I don't think he is ready for the whole Disney trip. We talked about it but decided to wait until Ava, Phoebe and Jax are three or four, Teddy is six and then go with Elliot, Kate, Sawyer and Frankie. If Taylor wants to include Sophie that would be fine but he has taken her several times already.
Teddy loved Sea World. He still thinks Elmo walks on water so seeing him do a show made his day, but he loved the dolphin show and the penguins the best and still is talking about it. Sea World also has this area where it is supposed to be like the Artic and they have a snow blowing machine so kids can go sliding and make snow men. We were there for over an hour. I carried him out at closing with his head on my shoulder, he was exhausted and I was laughing because Taylor was so tired he could hardly walk out of the place. He and Sophie went on those log rides and he was soaking wet. Teddy was pissed that he wasn't tall enough to go on and I was so fucking thankful for that. Who wants to get drenched in water….am I missing something here?
We walk through the club for our regular booth and everyone stops us to as we walk into the club to ask me about my kids. I doubt they really care they just want to impress me. I never ask other people I don't know very well about their kids. I basically don't give a shit. Yea, I guess in some ways I am still an asshole. Gramps made me laugh when some fucker from Seattle Mutual Trust asked him how he likes being a great grandfather. He looked at him and point blank said…"That is stupidest question anyone has ever asked me." He walked towards our booth shaking his head mumbling what a superficial son of a bitch the guy was. I guess when your 90 you can say what you want. For the record, it was a stupid question.
We are seated and order our lunch and I notice Gramps has been dragging today. He needed both Taylor and I to help him walk up the steps and he held my arm all the way in which he doesn't usually do. His eyes have been really bad lately and he asked me to order him some books with larger print, which I asked Andrea to do right away. I am worried about him. I bring up my thoughts of selling off some of GEH or going public, as if anyone will be honest with me it will be Gramps.
"Now listen to me Christian…you are getting bad advice. Sell some of your divisions if you want to start backing away a bit but don't go public. That will be the end of GEH."
"I will just start over if I get the itch Gramps…but with two kids, more money than I know what to do with…I just don't need to work sixty hours a week anymore and I hate leaving Teddy so much and I want to spend more time with the baby. I just feel restless…want to take my family around the world, spend time with them. I could never make another penny and have enough. So if I go public, there will be a board of directors, I get even wealthier with the sale of stock and I can phase out in several years. I am only 31 years old Gramps…I can take ten years off and still come back in my forties. I have years to keep doing this and I am giving away money at this point. I just sent a check to the IRS for two hundred million dollars Gramps… I don't feel like subsidizing the federal government anymore." He scoffs at my comment and shakes his head.
"Christian…you are thinking with your heart. Think this through. You have a legacy. You have employees. Hire a CEO and appoint yourself as President if that is what you want. But think about this son. Cut back…but keep GEH private. Sell off some divisions if you want…hold off on buying more if you want to slow down…but don't go god damn public. Everything you built can be tarnished by one vote. You asked my god damn opinion…that's it. Sit on this. Terrible time to go public anyway. You will have the Feds and SEC breathing down your damn neck…who needs that?"
I nod and listen. He's right…going public will just make my life and company an open book. Things are too perfect in my life right now for that.
"So…how is little Phoebe Grace? Ana stopped by yesterday with her and she was sitting up on the floor by herself. She sure is a beautiful baby. Teddy and I put together a few puzzles. I think those things were hard for a kid not even three yet. But he is sure smart he got right though them. Now tell Ana she has her hands full with two kids she doesn't need to come over and keep me company in the middle of the week. I appreciate it and I love it but she has better things to do."
"Gramps…she comes to see you because she wants to and Teddy misses you if he doesn't see you all week. You know that." It's true. Teddy in his own little mind worries about Gramps being all alone. Funny how kids pick up on things.
"Little Ava…what a peanut she is. Cute little thing. Elliot and Kate were over yesterday and she is standing up and scooting around holding the furniture."
"Yea he told me she is starting to get around. I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks. They are coming over this week sometime I think."
"Will you have more children Christian? This being a father has been good for you." Gramps sips slowly on his scotch but I notice he hasn't eaten his lunch.
"Yes…I hope so. I would like one, maybe two more, but I have to get the wife to agree on that one. Gramps eat. You haven't touched your lunch."
"Not too hungry son. A little off today. In fact…would you mind if Taylor took me home after lunch rather than going back to Grey house. I didn't sleep so well last night. A little tired. You are a wonderful father Christian. That little boy he sure loves you and your daughter too. I am proud of you. Your wife is a special lady. A lot has been said about her acceptance of your past life shenanigans, but it is clear she is in love with you. You always make her number one you understand me Christian?"
"Of course Gramps." Where is this coming from? I must have a frown on my face.
"Well…just appreciate her. You won't ever find love like the one you two have again. So don't you ever mess it up. Nothing makes me happier than to see how you have bounced back from all the difficult and scandalous issues in your life. I look forward to seeing you and Teddy every Saturday more than I probably tell you. That little guy is something else isn't he?"
I smile at this. "Yea…he's my buddy. He adores you too Gramps. He loves going to your house each Saturday."
"Well…I look forward to those Saturday visits more than anything else in my life. You have been good to me son." I feel uncomfortable with Gramps demeanor today. He is not usually so affectionate with his words.
We talk a bit more…argue about the check as usual and head out. I am worried and wonder if I should call my mom. He holds my arm as we make our way out of the club saying hello to business acquaintances. Many stand out of respect when they see him and shake his hand and he puts a good show on acting like he is thirty years younger but he isn't fooling me. He seems weak and off.
I let Taylor know we are heading over to Gramps house. "You don't need to go with me, go back home and this fine man will take me Christian."
"No Gramps. I don't have another car here and I want to make sure you get settled in. It's fine. Really." I text my mom and mention that she should come by to see Gramps on her way home from work.
"Put that damn phone away…I know you are sending a message to your mother. I am fine. I am just tired son." He pats my hand as we sit in the back seat. "You worry too much over me Christian. You are a good grandson."
We arrive and I help him in the house, let Riley out and open some of the curtains as it is dark in the house and that always bothers me. His caregiver doesn't come in until dinner time on Monday's. I watch Gramps walk into the family room and sit in his chair. He turns on some classical music and leans back. "Want something to drink Gramps…coffee, tea or water?"
"No…just going to close my eyes for a bit. You go on now. Riley and I will be fine. Thank you for trying to keep my mind off today son. You know I love you right?" I can barely catch my breath.
"Love you to Gramps. I will just be in the kitchen." Something seems so wrong today. Maybe it's just because it is the anniversary of Grams death, but I don't think he looks good. I check my phone and read my mom's text. She said she will stop when she gets off at five. It is only two. I walk into the kitchen and sit at the table and return some emails and let Ana know I am going to hang here at Gramps for a bit and then send Taylor to the grocery store to pick up some root beer, Gramps favorite. He might drink that since he didn't really drink or eat all day. I know he isn't feeling well because he ordered his usual scotch and only had one sip.
I make a few calls, walk around the corner and see Gramps has fallen asleep. Riley is lying next to him on the floor so I make myself a cup of coffee, call Andrea and return more emails. I pace around restlessly, send Riley down to the mailbox for Gramps mail and notice how quiet the house is other than the music playing in the family room. It must be like this all the time. I am so use to Teddy running around, noise in the house, Phoebe babbling that this quietness almost gets on my nerves.
Taylor walks back in and I take the root beer from him, put some in a glass of ice and grab a banana to see if he will eat that. He has been sleeping an hour. I know he is 90 years old and is entitled to a nap, but I don't want him to be awake all night either.
"Hey Gramps…brought you some root beer. Thought you might want to wake up and….Gramps….Gramps…. GRAMPS…..Taylor…..No….no…no….no….."
"Elliot….you need to get over to your Grandfather's house right away."
"What …why what's wrong?"
"Just get over here."
"God damn it Taylor….tell me please."
"Elliot…it's not good and your brother…you just need to get here."
I call Carrick next and he tells me he is on his way and he will call Grace. I can't get the boss off the floor. He is crying with his head on his grandfather's lap. There is no doubt…this wonderful man sat down in his chair and peacefully died in his sleep. I loved the guy myself, but he was lonely and had a good life. But…the boss…we all knew he would fall apart when this happened…but this is fucking breaking my heart. I step in to check on them. He is still on the floor with his head on his grandfather's lap just crying and saying… 'no' over and over again. He loved that old man so much and the old man worshiped him. I need to call Ana. I decide to call Jeb first and have him ready to go. Gail can watch the kids as Ana needs to get over here now. I get Gail on the phone so she can be with her when I call. Gail is worried about her rushing over here, but he needs her. She is the only one that will get him off the floor. I was going to call the ambulance but when it was clear he was gone, I decided to wait and let the boss have his time.
"Ana…Mrs. Grey….I need for you to come over to Mr. Trevelyan's with Jeb."
"What's wrong? Is Gramps okay?"
"No Ana he isn't. Christian needs you."
"Taylor you're scaring me. What happened?"
I fill her in about lunch, staying with him here, Christian worried about him and not leaving and then how we found him twenty minutes ago. She cries out and is hysterical. I hear her sobbing and Gail comforting her. "Christian…oh god…Gail…he won't be able to cope without him…oh god Christian needs me…no…this can't happen." She is sobbing. God…my heart is breaking.
I walk to the front door when I hear Elliot's truck pull up and walk out to meet him. He jumps out and almost runs to the door. I stop him and shake my head. "Your brother is on the floor Elliot…he won't leave him. I know this is hard on you too…but…"
Elliot puts his head against the door frame and I see his shoulders shake and I reach over and put my hand on his shoulder. I know he adored the old man too. They might not have been as close as Christian and his grandfather…but that is only by a fraction. I hear him let out a sob and he turns and slumps down sitting on the step, puts his head in his hands and cries without any shame. God, they loved that man.
"I wanted him to live forever man. FUCK. Give me a minute. Please…" I walk down the driveway look around, send Wilson a text because we will need to get to Mia on this soon, but I will let her dad break the news to her. I just want to make sure he is ready to go. I turn around and see Elliot wiping his eyes and he looks up at me and nods. He knows he has to do this. Next to Ana, he is the only one that can break through to the boss. I follow him in, and fight back my own tears when we walk in. The boss is holding his grandfather's hand now, but still on the floor.
"You can't leave me Gramps. Please…I need you still. Please…you said you would be here…no…no…no please." He is full out sobbing. I fucking have to walk away. I guess I always knew that this would be the one thing to break Christian Grey. But he will recover. He loves his wife and children too much not to. But this will tear him apart like nothing else has ever touched him. He fucking loved that old man so much. I watch Elliot as he steps in the room and bends down and kisses the old man on the forehead and then squats down next to Christian who hasn't moved. He just continues to cry. I notice the root beer has spilled on the floor where he must have dropped it when he came in and found his grandfather.
Elliot doesn't say anything, he is too caught up in his own grief. He reaches over and squeezes Christian's shoulder, but that is all he is able to do. I am struck by the love these two men had for this man and the picture in front of me. They are both on their knees, crying, Elliot has his hand on the old man's arm and Christian still has his head on his lap holding his hand. They worshiped him….it couldn't be more clear.
Carrick and Grace arrive and Grace just loses it when she sees her grown sons. Elliot stands and takes his mother in his arms and she keeps saying, "Oh Dad…oh dad….no….sweet daddy….please…I will miss you so much." I see Carrick squat down and try to talk to Christian but he isn't moving. He walks back towards me.
"Have you called the paramedic's or anyone?"
"No sir…I wanted you all to have a moment with him first. I can. Did you want to get Mrs. Beeson here?"
"Oh hell. Mia….let me call Brady and ask him to pick her up and get her over here. We need to get Ana over here so she can get to Christian. He will need her."
"She should be here any minute sir. Gail has the kids."
Thirty minutes later, Mia and Brady arrive and Mia of course is hysterical. Elliot has called Kate…but she can't leave as Ava who is sleeping and he told her to just stay there for now. He has pulled himself together and along with Carrick has taken charge, comforting his mother and sister and calling the funeral home. We have the paramedics on the way, as he has to legally be declared dead, and the police arrived but are respectfully sitting outside. The boss…still hasn't moved.
I turn when I see Ana walk through the front door. Her eyes are swollen and she tries to compose herself but when she sees Grace she loses it hugging her and trying to comfort her. She hugs Elliot and he leans down to talk to her.
"Ana…you need to get him to stand up so the paramedics can come in. He is a mess…and fuck…." Elliot fights back his tears and puts his thumbs in both eyes to fight the tears. "He needs you…you are the only person that can get him off that floor right now. You talk to him and I will help him up." She nods and places her hand on Elliot's cheek.
"He loved you so much Elliot. He was talking about you the other day when he was over and how good you always are about fixing the house for him and he said you always made him laugh." She is trying to let Elliot know that Theo loved him too. Hell he knows that but I think it is typical sweet Ana…to try and reassure him when we all know that Christian is the one that had the old man's heart.
She walks in and takes a deep breath, covers her mouth and cries silently for a few seconds. Seeing her husband like this with his dead grandfather has to be hard. Hell we have all lost a grandparent or even a parent. It might be hard for some to understand how deep the boss's grief is right now. After all Theo was 90 years old. But this old man meant everything to him. Hell he named his son after the guy. He probably was the main reason he turned out so successful as he listened to everything his grandfather told him to do.
"Christian." Ana puts her hand on his head. I am standing behind her along with Elliot. She won't be able to pull him up. "Christian." He lifts his head slowly wraps his arms around her legs, leans his head into her knees and sobs. She rubs his head and cries along with him trying to bend down. "Christian…please stand up. I want to hold you. I need to hold you. Please." He continues crying but he gets on his knees, kisses his grandfather's hand and looks for something to pull himself up with. Elliot grabs him by the arm and pulls him up and he almost falls on top of Ana hugging her. I stand behind her to make sure they are okay. This is grief at its fullest. He has nothing left in him physically. She guides him over to the couch and at least he has stopped crying. He leans back on the couch with his head against the wall and takes her hand but doesn't say anything. Finally Grace comes in the room and sits on the other side and takes his other hand.
"Honey…the paramedics are here. They need to come in the room. Do you want to stay in here while they confirm Gramps has passed away…then they will be removing him? Or do you want to go in the other room.
He looks at his mom and leans his head onto her shoulder. "Mom…I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you okay? Gramps would have my ass right now if he saw me. I should have been there for you."
She pulls him to her shoulder and together they cry silently while the police and paramedics remove Theo from his home.
This afternoon is the funeral. Christian has pulled himself together, although he has had moments where he just breaks down. He feels he owes everything to his grandfather. Without him he would have never tried to redeem himself and stay close, and that his grandfather taught him everything. He keeps saying he doesn't know if he can run his business without Gramps to bounce things off of. I just listen as I know it is his grief talking.
He is giving the eulogy and I don't know how he will get through it. The only thing that has gotten him through his grief these past few days is Teddy and the baby. He has played with Teddy, fallen asleep with him in his bed, and spent hours outside playing with him. Then he has insisted on taking Phoebe every morning when she wakes up and after she has been nursed. We have made love multiple times since Gramps died. Christian has needed me and I want to give him any comfort that I can. It seems after each time he comes out of his grief a bit more.
We are keeping Riley. Christian asked me if we could handle another dog and of course I agreed, as we have plenty of room and he is a great dog. Christian has spent a lot of time outside with Riley and I think it has given him comfort.
We all knew this day would happen, but none of us really wanted to acknowledge it. Christian's grief will take a long time to get over…if ever. He has been trying to be sweet and helpful, as the kids don't understand but I can see how heavy his heart is. Elliot came over last night and they got so smashed that Elliot fell asleep on the couch and left early this morning. Christian left right after and Taylor called me to tell me he is at Gramps just sitting in the house. I need to give him this time. He needs this.
I have never felt so broken. I know Gramps lived a long life. I am not mourning his loss of life. I will just miss him so much I can barely stand it. He was there for me throughout every obstacle, happy moment and all my business adventures. I almost always call him first when I have big news. How do I adjust to this void? I keep playing his voice mail messages that I have saved. I want to hear his voice and it has only been four days.
I walk through the house and make my way to his office. I know Gramps left most of his money to Scott and Daniel, as he knows the three of us have more than we know what to do with… and he left roughly ten million to charity. He left one million to Elliot for all the damn repair work Elliot would never accept payment for and all of Grams jewelry to Mia…which is very valuable with the exception of one diamond locket that he left Ana. It was Gram's favorite. He left me the house and the contents to do whatever I want to do with it. I think he knew I might just hang onto it for a while so I can come over here and feel his presence somehow. The four great grandchildren, my two, Ava and Daniels son inherited all his stocks to be managed by me. He put five million aside to be invested for any future grandchildren which is good because Scott's wife is pregnant and that came up when everyone was bitching about who got what. There are several investment properties he owns as well, that he left to Elliot and me jointly and so we have to look into those as neither of us knew he had them. One of them is a god damn casino in Nevada. Both Elliot and I were shocked by that.
I sit at Gramps desk and see his cigars. I light one up and lean back then open the desk drawer and right on top is a letter addressed to me. What the hell? When did he write this? The medical report showed he died of congestive heart failure – or old age as my mom said. I think he knew it was a matter of time. He was so emotional that last week as I look back on it. I slowly open the letter and lean back in his chair.
If you have found this letter, you are in my office and I am in a better place. I mean that sincerely son. I miss your grandmother and believe somehow in God's universe we are together again, in each other's arms forgetting the sorrows we left behind. Please do not mourn me, I had a wonderful life, and I assure you I am in a better place now that I am back with my girl.
I have been ready for this for a while but my worry about you has kept this old lonely heart ticking. I worry about your false sense that you can't cope without me. I know how much you love me Christian, and if there ever was a grandfather who was ever loved as much as you loved me or as proud of their grandson as I have been of you, then there were too lucky men in this world. But…you must move on.
You have your children now and they along with their mother must consume your thoughts. You are a good man, a good father and a good son to my Gracie. We were blessed the day she brought you home. I often wondered what about that little meek boy with the big gray eyes made my heart melt. You weren't an affectionate or demonstrative child. In fact you were aloof and frankly a bit of a little twit. But I remember the day that you reached over to me….trusted me and wanted to see my pocket watch like it was yesterday. We just clicked didn't we son? We just knew who each other were…and that bond only grew stronger over the years.
Teddy Roosevelt was quoted as saying: The boy who is going to make a great man, must not make up his mind to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats. I have often thought of you when I recall that quote. Your inner strength is profoundly strong. Never doubt yourself.
As the years went by and we became closer I knew you weren't being honest with the rest of us about your life. I almost had you followed and looking back I wish I had. I would have torn Elena Lincoln apart with my bare hands. But remember this… your past doesn't define you Christian. Remember that. If it had…you would have never been able to be the businessman, husband and father that you are today. Keep that past buried son. I never let it bother me for a second, always respecting you for the grandson you were to me, and the genius of a businessman you have proven yourself to be.
I like to think I had an influence in your life. I hope I did. I hope that you won't disappoint me, but you will if you don't manage your grief. You need to stand tall, remember our great conversations, and when you are confused about a matter, think about what I would say to you. You usually figure it out anyway.
Christian your dad loves you and he is a smart man. Use those last Monday's of the month to talk to him. Take him to lunch. He would like that and he will only give you the best advice a father can give his son. This is the time in your life while you still have him…to finally break all those barriers between you too. For me…do this.
I leave this world with a few worries. You need to be my eyes and ears on this earth. Get along with your Uncle…it will do no one any good to see your mother and her brother apart over legal issues. That is why I purposely left them off my will. They will need each other, the material things in life they already have. I thought I would insult you if I left you money, but I want you to take your time going through the house. That is why I left it to you. Ana will enjoy the many first edition books I have here. Your brother will be able to update it and you can do what you want with it, but there are boxes and boxes of interesting legal documents about acquisitions over the years I thought you would want to go through. I trust you to do the right thing with the house.
Keep an eye on your brother. I worry about him being truly happy. That smile and gregarious personality is hiding something and I haven't been able to get it out of him. He loves you more than anyone else…he will tell you.
And finally…pull yourself up Christian, be the man I know you can be. No more tears for me. I have treasured our love, our relationship and your trust in me. I love you son. Continue doing the right thing. Be strong. Be honest. Stay shrewd. Be faithful and learn to trust a bit more. My last wish on this earth is that when you are my age, you have a wonderful grandson that loves you as much as you have loved me. Thank you my dear boy. Thank you.
I am honored that there are so many people in the church today for my dad's funeral. It is packed and standing room only. He was such a great man. I am sitting next to Mike and Carrick and just feel so sad. I loved my dad so much. I was a true Daddy's girl my entire life. My dad was a genius and just a wonderful father and the perfect grandfather.
Scott and Daniel have the normal grief that children have when they lose their grandparents. My three children are so grief stricken I worry about them. But they grew up with him and all three were close to him in their own way….but it is Christian who loved his grandfather maybe even more than he loves us. I don't mean that in a jealous way. They were just so close.
I look behind me where my children are sitting in the pew behind us. Brady is holding Mia's hand. He looks so handsome in his dark suit. I am trying to get Mia's attention to hand her Kleenex. She is sniffling like a damn seal. I nudge Carrick and he hands her the tissue. For heaven's sake Mia…come prepared. I smile at Kate who is holding Elliot's hand. He has been so quiet lately and I can't help thinking something is on his mind. Even before dad's death he was just not himself. I turn around a little more to get his attention and he looks up at me, gives me a half-hearted smile and pats my shoulder. He too looks so handsome in his dark navy suit and baby blue tie. I turn around the other way and smile at Teddy who is on his knees coloring. We had such a debate about whether he should attend the service today. Carrick and Mike thought he was too young and to be honest Ana worried about it too. But in the end, we decided to include him. He has been well behaved and he looks adorable in his little suit. Christian has his arm around Ana and catches my eye. He smiles and nods to me. I know his heart is broken. I hope he can get through this. I watch as his lean tall body walks to the podium. He looks out and all across the church. I hear people whispering that it is the Christian Grey speaking. If they only knew that today he is just a broken-hearted young man.
"Good Afternoon. I am Christian Trevelyan Grey, the youngest grandson of one of the greatest men to have walked the earth; Theodore Michael Trevelyan. On behalf of my mother, my Uncle and the Trevelyan Grey family, we thank you for your condolences and for your presence today.
My grandfather didn't grow up in a privileged life. He grew up on a farm, working to help his family and something many don't know about him, he dropped out of high school for two years so he could help his father work the farm full time. It was after the depression, but my great grandfather had never recovered from that devastating time in history and eventually they lost the farm. Gramps went off to WWII at eighteen years old. Saw the worst things a young man could see fighting in the Pacific and when he came home he wasn't even twenty. He earned what would have been equivalent today to a GED and then went to college and law school. He was a self-made man and many have called him the greatest attorney to ever reside in the state of Washington. He was always getting asked to run for political office, become a judge, serve on some legislative committee. But that wasn't Gramps. Instead he became the greatest legal voice on mergers and acquisitions in not only the state of Washington, but the United States and internationally. I am sure it comes as no surprise that everything I learned, my fascination with the world of mergers and acquisitions and my success came directly from listening to every word Gramps had to say. He was brilliant and he was my mentor. I am thankful I had him to guide me, and even just last week, hours before he passed away, his brilliant mind was guiding me against something I was considering. Actually he was chewing me out." Christian looks up and smiles. "I heard you loud and clear Gramps….I won't do it." The church fills with laughter. Christian talks about his grandfather's career, his achievements over the years, shares some funny stories about his professional life and even how he fixed things as a man in his eighties. One call from Theo Trevelyan and things always happened. He shared how his entire Executive Team at GEH would miss his grandfather as they had come to rely on him at their quarterly meetings. He paints a true picture of my dad's greatness. Mike should be up there speaking but he is not comfortable talking in large crowds so he asked Christian to do it and he is doing a brilliant job making me laugh, cry and smile. I know this can't be easy with his grief so strong. But he seems stronger this afternoon. His shoulders are pulled back and he has his swagger back. Ana whispered to me that since he came back from Gramps this morning he is more his old self.
"But…for those that didn't know him privately I would like to paint the picture of who Theo Trevelyan was outside of his professional life. He was brilliant…we established that. He was no nonsense…and told you the way it was as he pointed his cigar at you. He was witty, charismatic, loved a good joke…loved his scotch and over the last year he developed a passion for M & M's. He was the most well-read man I have ever met, a charmer…even at 90 years old, women loved him….but the only woman he loved died exactly one year to the day he did. My grandmother Addie- Adelaide Trevelyan was the love of his life and he wrote me a letter that assured me that when the time came of his passing, he would be in her arms again…a happy man. I know that is true.
My grandfather earned the honors of having his first great grandchild named after him. My own son, Teddy who is going on three years old, adored his great grandfather." At that moment Teddy, hearing his name pops up and before any of us can stop him and he runs out of the pew and up to the podium to Christian. "Hi Daddy." Everyone laughs. Christian bends down and because of the microphone we hear him tell Teddy to go sit with Mommy and Uncle Elliot. "I stay here with you." Christian picks him up and whispers he has to be quiet. Teddy looks out at all the people and shyly puts his little copper head on his daddy's shoulders and listens. His little hand softly touching Christian's face. "Daddy, no cry anymore okay? It's alright." Oh god…from the mouths of babes. He has seen Christian water up over the past few days and it has upset him. Christian tries to get his composure and I hear people in the church sniffling and cooing. It is the sweetest most, tender moment but so hard to listen to if you know like I do how much Christian's heart is breaking and he is trying so hard to be strong.
"They say a truly great man will live on after his death through his legacy. He left us all so much. My brother and I were talking last night and we feel his strength and his influence in everything we do. I know that my grandfather will live on." Christian points to his head. "He will be up here with me always." He pats his chest next to his heart. "He will always be in here." He then puts his forehead to Teddy's little head. "I will pass on his wisdom…his legacy will live on. I will be the man he expected me to be, the father I have grown to love being and the husband….my wife deserves. That is just part of the legacy of Theo Trevelyan."
Okay everyone…I know you hate me for having Gramps die….but to be true to my story….it had to happen. I have made this as close to real life from the beginning. (Well as close to real life as a young kinky billionaire with that lifestyle could be) With one last chapter to go….I wanted to take this full circle and show how Christian has grown as a man… that his biggest influence in life was his grandfather and how he will cope going forward. Hopefully…you see that this was my plot and that this was the intention to show how a broken man could be healed…how the influence of a great mentor made him whole. I believe Ana's love in this story line was important but it was also about the love of family in particular his relationship with Gramps and Elliot. Gramps was a very key person in my story and I couldn't let him live forever…but I could make him live forever in Christian's heart and that is what I hope I did.
Last chapter…a long epilogue sometime next week. I will tie up many loose ends…Tristin will make a re-appearance…tell you what is going on with Elliot and update you on Mia and Brady. I Love everyone who has supported me and been so kind to me…I need to go cry…I feel sad losing Gramps too! Lilly
Oh yea...get me to 10,000 reviews and I will write a few more chapters...kidding...well maybe not.