"Jake Tries Backyard Wrestling"

Rated T for a little bit of stupidity

Disclaimer: I pretty much do not own the SWAT Kats or its characters.


This was a boring summer day for Jake "Razor" Clawson. It was too scorching hot, the air conditioning was broken, there wasn't anything to at least drink, and to top it all off, nothing was on. No comedies, no movies, and perhaps nothing that involved sports. His good friend and comrade Chance Furlong aka T-Bone was out on the town to do some grocery shopping of his own and to run a few errands. For Jake, this was plain boring.

"Geez, not a damn thing is on. Sure is nice for Chance not to pay the cable bill here..." Jake said as he was already being bored of flipping channel after channel. This was already hell to be exact. Perhaps nothing on but educational television, women's talk shows and nothing but old black and white movies. "Where in the heck is he coming back with the food? I've been having to drink nothing but milk all day!"

Jake was already being fed up with the morning suddenly getting to him just like a horrible itch. Every time each minute or second passed, Jake felt frustrated.

But somehow, with so much unexpectance, Jake switched another channel to something more interesting. It just seemed to be two guys just brawling in their street clothes. They were whacking each other with chairs and just brutalizing each other with broken tables. It was a show that Jake hadn't never seen before. Sure it looked a little violent, but Jake took a really good interest to it.

"Hmmmmm, never seen this show before..." Jake replied as the skinny kat was hitting the big kat with pretty much a kitchen sink, leaving the one they call Razor chuckling, "Ouch! That oughtta hurt! I wonder what's gonna happen next..."

And then, the skinny kat managed to lay the big kat down on the table and perhaps just punching him down, just to rough him down enough for the skinny kat to do something impossible.

"Heh, I wonder what this guy's gonna do now..." Jake said with such quiet patience as the skinny kat, which went by the name of Vaughn Cena, started to climb the ladder and then got up on the roof of his house. Seeing the big kat just dozed off on the table, Vaughn was ready to take flight as Jake held on to the edge of the seat hoping to see something amazing, "Oh, please tell me he ain't really gonna do this..."

"JAAAAAAAAAHN DENVAAAAAAAAAAA!" Vaughn shouted in victory as he took a leap from his roof...

...and managed to land on the big kat successfully, therefore breaking the table in half! Jake just went ballistic on what happened on TV. He couldn't even believe his eyes for a moment!

"My god! I can't believe he did it! How on earth is that even possible?" Jake said as he put his hands over his head in amazement. That big kat on the TV took the harshest damage that Jake had ever seen. Sure, he may have watched WWE, TNA or UFC, but this was something interesting. This was outside and it was on a roof. He was pretty much turned on by this kind of violence.

But Jake suddenly had an idea on his sleeve. He had a stack of mattresses and tables all used up in the junkyard. And he had matches and lighters sitting all across the living room table. With a evil smirk on his face, Jake planned something so much sinister and joy to his face, he was willing to try it out.

Hours had finally been passed as the tow truck that Chance had been driving had suddenly pulled up. The man who became T-Bone suddenly got some groceries so that Jake wouldn't have to starve for the rest of the summer, and thank goodness for that.

"Jake, I'm back! You don't have to starve like a hobo anymore!" Chance shouted out, just reminding his partner that he was back in the chop-shop. He then noticed that Jake wasn't responding for some reason. "Jake, you around? I told you I'm back!"

Still no answer. Chance checked the living room, the bathroom, and even the garage. There was still no sign of Jake, no matter how hard Chance looked and searched.

"Where in the hell is that guy when I need-" Chance spoke to himself, but was cut off by a strange smell of fire going right through his nose. "Where is that smell coming from...?"

Chance had suddenly traced the smell from outside. He managed to travel past demolished car after car until Chance suddenly saw a very disturbing sight. One that he would have never imagined of seeing.

It was Jake standing on top of 7 stacked cars and he laid out a crash test dummy on top of 6 tables in which the fourth table was suddenly set ablaze with fire. Chance saw this and looked pretty annoyed at Jake's stupid stunt.

"Jake, are you on crack? You can't try this!" Chance shouted to Jake as he spent his time ignoring him, but since he was his friend, he decided to speak down at him anyway.

"You can't tell me what to do Chance! Vaughn Cena told me to do this!" Jake shouted down on him.

"Who in the hell is Vaughn Cena to begin with? Have you been watching that horrible backyard wrestling channel?" Chance replied as Jake sneered a little bit, "There's a reason why you shouldn't try something like this at home! You're gonna be killed!"

"Blah bla-bla blah..." Jake said as he was now mocking Chance's voice, much to the stronger kat's irritation, "Okay, enough waiting! Time to get butt slammed!"

As Jake was about to make his soon-to-be-painful dive, the man known as Razor stanced himself like an Olympic diver. Just taking a deep breath, he was about to make his near-death dive.

But as he was about to leap, a bee-kat somehow came down right on the top of Jake's ankle. Without knowing yet, the bee cleaned his stinger and injected right in the skin of Jake Clawson himself. Jake finally felt the pain go through him.

"YEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWW!" Jake screamed in pain as the bee-kat flew right away leaving Jake to hold his foot in pain while he was hopping in one foot. However, it proved to be a mistake as he was now hopping backwards...

...only to fall intensely into the six tables that he had stacked. The test dummy was spared knowing that he slipped down from the first table. And the heat containing the fourth table almost burned the fur off of him. Luckily, Jake wasn't even engulped in flames, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch!

"AGGGGGGH!" Jake squealed in horrible pain, "My ass is burned off! Oh, great John Denver in heaven, why did I have to do this?"

Seeing his friend Jake in pain, Chance sighed.

"Want me to call a doctor?" Chance spoke down to Jake.

"Please! And maybe a burn unit as well..." Jake said as the pain kept getting worse by the minute.

"I'm on it then..." Chance said as he left Jake's sight to call a doctor about Jake's stupid-ass stunt. As soon as Chance left, Jake looked up to the hot sky, just regretting this stupid little moment that he wanted to forget.

"Owwwwhhhhhh, my burnt balls..." Jake said in agony as he blacked out. Totally a reason why nobody, especially no kat should try this kinds of dangerous stunts home. And Jake learned that painful lesson today.


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