Herrroo how y'all doin? (hey tell me in the review section I really do care. I like to say hi to my followers and faves) Alright another song fanfiction I really love these cause they're easy and they don't really need a whole schpeele. It's just wam bam thank you ma'am…okay bad comparison well the song is Come Wake Me Up by Rascall Flatts. Enjoy!
I can usually drink you right off of my mind, but I miss you tonight.
I smack my hand down on the table as I try to drag myself up off the floor. Blood smears my face and the bloodlust consumes my mind. It's nothing to get her off my mind. I dig my nails into the table and finish off another bag. I throw it somewhere behind me and feel my eyes glaze over. I try and not think about her, but it's too much and another spasm of longing passes through me making me stumble into the table and another set of lab equipment crash to the floor. The noise hardly registers to my ears. I've locked the portals for my own sake to not do something that would get me staked. I decide it's best to grab yet another bag.
I can normally push you right out of my heart, but I'm too tired to fight.
I feel the ache in my chest and groan. How can humans live with these things? They only bring pain and suffering. I grab at my chest and stagger to the small kitchenette fridge. I can't fight the feeling of her here, with me. I hit the wall and in a bout of anger I punch through it sending a shower of plaster and asbestos into the air. I pull my hand back and decide it's not worth it. I fall to the floor in a mess. I stare up at the ceiling and my arms reach out for her. Why isn't she here? Why did she have to leave? Why am I such a monster?
Yeah the whole thing begins and I let you sink you into my veins, and I feel the pain like it's new.
I remember when she came to me. She was standing in the lab shivering and wet. She dripped onto the floor and I turned around to look at her. She had hardly a thing on. She was soaked from head to toe and her teeth chattered.
"Claire what's wrong?" I remember saying as I rushed to her. She shook her head and I began to smell the salty tang in the air. She had been crying. "You smell of tears." At the sentence she began to cry more. I didn't want to, but I had to leave her side to get something to heat her up. I came back with blanket from the cot in my room and hold it out to her. She takes it and wraps it around herself. "You shouldn't have been out in the cold rain like that. You could have hurt yourself and you might get sick." I tried to stay calm. She was wearing on my nerves at her density.
"I know," She sneezed. "I shouldn't have done it. I should have taken the portal, but I just – " She began into a fit of coughing and led her to the couch. I set her down and ran my hands up and down on her upper arms. She continued to shiver. I ran away again fairly quickly and hurried to find the vial. I came back pulling out the stopper and held it out to her.
"Here take this. It'll stop the coughing and clear up your throat." I watched as she cleared her throat and down the viscous liquid. After a twist of her face she stopped coughing. She continued to shiver, but I wasn't going to be the one to help with that. Not with my body temperature. I left and came back with an armful of blankets. She laughed softly and shimmied off the other one. She began to numbly take off her clothes. I stepped back wondering what she was doing. "Claire…?" She stopped halfway and looked up at me.
"I'm not getting any warmer in these wet clothes." She said it almost without feeling. A statement. A conclusion. And that's how I would treat it. I closed my eyes and felt a tear slid down my cheek onto the floor. I pushed the memory out of my mind. But it settled in my heart.
Everything that we were. Everything that you said. Everything that I did and that I couldn't do. Plays through tonight.
I unraveled the blankets and we lay together on the couch. My arms wrapped around her. She had stopped shivering, and she lay with her arms around my neck. "I couldn't believe I said that. And I can't believe he left. I took our relationship for granted." I sat listening not wanting to hurt her with my input. "He's gone and he's never coming back now." I felt her tears against my chest as she curled up in the blankets. She buried her face in my chest and I was glad I had at least become her friend. A friend she could show up at in the dead of night, take her in, listen to her talk, and hold her whilst she cried. If nothing more I was a friend. A great friend. "I really screwed up Myrnin. I can never do anything right." She said through sobs. I made shushing noises to try to calm her and ran a hand down her hair to quiet her.
"No, you can do many things right. I know you loved that boy. I saw it in your eyes. In the way to acted. You loved him and if he didn't see it then he didn't deserve you."
Tonight your memory burns like a fire. With every on it grows higher and higher.
I am sitting now as she cries on the floor. For someone so strong it was odd to see her cry. She could face the draug with a blink of an eye, but an abusive loved one hit deeper than any cut or bullet. She made me promise not to wring the boys neck. Now I sat with her in my arms as I had done only weeks ago. I slowly rocked back and forth to soothe her into sleep. She began to hiccup from lack of oxygen and she took huge gulps of air before she stopped breathing altogether. I pushed the hair back from her face when she let the air out. She stopped hiccupping.
She is in my arms – in a different time and a different place - and I play absentmindedly with her hair. Her sleeping breath whispers against my breath and it tickles the skin there. She nuzzles closer to me and our bodies press together, almost defying the laws of physics. I stare at the ceiling reminiscing in the previous events. My body battles the fight between warmth and frigid. She mumbles in her sleep and I look down at her. Her eyes are glued shut and her lips are moving, but no noise comes out. I kiss the top of her head and she stirs. She hums quietly. After taking a few breaths she moves and lifts herself up. The sheet falls off of her shoulders and reveal her to me. I hum deep in my throat. Her sleep ridden eyes trace the features of my face and I reach a free hand to brush my knuckles against her cheek. My other hand travels down the length of her body and stops at her hip and trace circles with my finger on her exposed flesh. She leans down and kisses my softly. Her hands move to either side of my head and I cradle her head in my hand. The kiss deepens and I find myself pulling her close to me. Our legs tangle up in each other and our body temperatures clash. She breaks away for breath, but she lingers still close to me and I kiss the corner of her mouth. Her arms slither to wrap around my neck and hold me as she lies on my chest.
I bite back the anger as she screams. "You're a selfish bastard! You think you can do whatever you want and it won't affect anyone around you!" I shook my head clenching my fists. "Is that it? Are you done with me like you were done with all the rest of your little toys?" She continues to scream as I close my eyes.
"You were never a toy! You were always Claire! I never wanted anything else from you! I loved you Claire! I still do, but what I did was unacceptable." Open my eyes and she is reflecting my anger and pain. "I understand if you leave." I move to get out of the room and hide, but she is walking towards me. I stop, stunned. Faster than my eyes can register she reaches out and smacks me.
"Don't even say that. I will work through this with you. Do not expect me to give in so easily." I barely have time to recover from the slap before she is kissing me. I kiss back with just as much fervor.
I feel my heart twist into an impossible shape as I think back to those memories. Times were so easy before. Now I lay on the dirty floor wishing for her to come back.
And I can't get over it I just can't put out this love.
I try to drag myself up. I get to my knees before more pain sends me back to the ground. I growl and hit the floor with my fist. It cracks and the pain that I pretend is their throbs through my mind. It dulls the thoughts of her, but they could never go away. Why is she so hard to get over? Why is she different? I wished she was here to tell me the answer. I wish she was here. I wish.
I just sit in these flames and pray that you'll come back.
More memories flood my mind at the thought of her. I feel the tears begin to spill over my eyes. They hit the ground in small blood stains.
"Claire!" I cry out as she walks away. "Claire stop!" She shows no signs of turning around. "Don't leave me." I whimper as she slams the door. She won't come back now. There's no way that she will ever come back to me. I really did it this time. I could smell her tears and hear her try and quiet her sobs as she runs out into the sun. I don't know why I have to be such a monster. Why do I have to hurt everyone I love?
The pain is no longer and I continue to smash the floor. Before long I have hit the dirt below and I still have her on my mind. I want her. I need her. She is everything I represent and everything that has kept me from the darkness.
Close my eyes tightly, hold on and hope that I'm dreaming. Come wake me up.
I beg this to be a dream. Please let her wake me up to my fitful form with a kiss. I will turn and see her beside me with a smile on her face and tousled hair. I'll wrap my arms around her and never let her go. Never let her get hurt. Even if I am the one hurting her. She'll be my anchor. The one who makes sure I don't slip back into the darkness. I don't know what I'd do if I did. Even now I feel its wispy talons pick at my mind and try to drown me. I get up as the pain dulls, but a new pain replaces the old. The pain of a broken heart. I had heard of many a people dying from it. I had never thought I would be one of its victims. Even in death the heart is the most powerful organ. It is essential and without your other half it has a tendency to kill you.
I know that you're moving on. I know I should give you up,
I can see her leaving as I pick myself off the floor. I hear the door slam all over again and it knocks me down. I hit the floor with a thud and hurry to get up. I run to the door and pound on its frame. She isn't coming back. She made her choice a long time ago and it wasn't me. It hurts more now. I step back and feel heat rise within me. It fills my veins and I wish that it would consume me. Then she could finally be rid of me. She wouldn't have any regrets when she sees me. I stand in the middle of the lab and the fire is getting hotter.
But I keep hoping that you'll trip and fall back in love. Time's not healing anything.
I told myself that after a while it will just feel like it did with Ada. I'll find something else to occupy my time, but it was impossible. Everything I did. Everywhere I went. Every waking and sleeping thought was involved with her. She was everywhere. She left her scent in everything. I could taste her as I smelt the air. I could feel her in the room despite them being empty for so long. I still can't get her off my mind. Now that no one bothered with me I had to find a way to get her off my mind. I couldn't I was consumed by her every turn I made, every step I took, every word I spoke. She crawled into my heart and once she left her shell remained lodged in the center. I gripped now at my chest as the fire continued to burn inside me. Tears and blood covered my shirt and I closed my eyes even tighter.
Baby this pain is worse than it ever was.
Even now I can hear her in my mind. It fills my thoughts with nothing, but her. It was always her, but now the pain heightens my misery. I can smell her in the room and despite her being gone for four years it smells like she is still standing it here. Her warmth surrounds me and the fire from before is more comforting. It soothes me and relaxes my muscles. I slowly fall to the ground against. Her scent fills my nose as I growl at my mind for taunting me.
I know that you can't hear me but baby I need you to save me tonight.
"Claire, come back." I whisper and put my head in my hands. I feel numb and alone. I am hollow and I let the darkness consume me. Her voice is in my head though and it battles the insanity. "Why won't you let me go? Let me slip into the insanity so at least I can get you out of my mind. It hurts to know you're not here. You'll never come back to me. Let me go please." I tried to choke out. Her light blazes through the darkness and I see her eyes behind my eyelids. The warmth recedes, but it comes back in waves. I dig my nails into my scalp. "Let me go. I don't need this pain." Finally as I look up I open my eyes. Her face is staring back at me. Her warm brown eyes inviting me to drown in the illusion. "You aren't real." She nods.
"Yes I am." She whispers. I won't let my brain trick me into believe. I shake my head.
"No you're not." I whisper back. She reaches out and puts a knuckle under my chin. She puts my face up as I try to look at the ground. She leans in and kisses me. Even though my face is tears streaked and blood is dried at the corner of my mouth she continues to kiss me. I let go of my head and reach out to touch her. My hands hit her solid figure and pull her closer. She takes the bag off of her shoulder and tosses it out of the way. She holds my head deepening the kiss. As she breaks away she stares into my eyes. "You're real." She nods giving me a quick kiss. I begin to cry for reason different than before.
"Myrnin," I had longed forever to hear her say my name again. "I love you. You damn fool." She kisses me again just after I manage to say,
"I love you too, fy nghariad."
He he he he angst angst angst sorry no not sorry. I hoped you liked it I really like angst because I like making people feel and most people are willing to feel pain than joy