[Authour's notes:
I apologise for this. Just getting rid of some silly giggly energy after watching Lord of the Rings again with a bunch of friends after reading 'the Very Secret Diaries'. o_O
... Lots of silly energy... ]

A letter from Kurosaki Hisoka to the fanfic writers of Yami no Matsuei.

Hello. It has recently come to my attention of something out there called a 'lemon'. Normally I don't mind lemons, they make a good drink when mixed with water and sugar, lemon bars are quite good, and I happen to know for a fact that Tsuzuki is quite fond of lemon meringue. But this is not the kind of lemon I am talking about.

I'm talking about sex.

Not that I'm complaining about sex, mind you. I do realize that both Tsuzuki and I are 'angst monkeys', but that doesn't stop us from having a lot of fun rolling around on the bed trying to decide which one of us is on the bottom. And it generally involves lots of chocolate, which even I can't complain about.

No, what I'm referring has to do with the bastard Muraki. Yes, he and I have had... relations before. I can't argue that, and I can't say that I particularly enjoyed it.

What annoys me is this recent trend in the amount of lemons concerning Muraki grabbing me, tying me up with several lengths of ropes, chains, duct tape or lord knows what ever else he uses to bind people to beds, walls, ceilings or what ever is handy and have his evil way with me.

I hate playing the 'helpless maiden'. I'm not helpless, and Tsuzuki is far from a shining prince on a white horse. See the 'angst monkey' comment for reference. And the rug burns from it are getting annoying. And have you ever tried to remove small pieces of duct tape from your *ahem* -?

Anyway. In conclusion, Me + Tsuzuki + chocolate = good. It's therapeutic and fun. Me + Muraki + bondage = bad. It's not only painful, but the constant occurrence is getting annoying.

Either stop or I shall be forced to run away to the Bahamas and have a mad passionate affair with Watari's owl, 003.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Kurosaki Hisoka, Shinigami.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Umm... I actually don't have a problem with Muraki/Hisoka, it just wouldn't let me go.

#^^# Sorry.