AN: This semester, I took a university course on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For one of our assignments, we had the option to write our own fan fiction version of an episode. I chose to rewrite I Was Made to Love You, from season five, from the perspective of April. This is the finished story.

Disclaimer: The dialogue in the Buffy/April scenes are transcribed directly from the fifteenth season five Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode I Was Made to Love You. The characters belong to Joss Whedon and the Buffy team, not me.

The Sun Won't Rise

[destroy_obstacle. gfd]

Every time the blond female strikes her, a jolt spreads from the point of impact, sending damage messages to her CPU akin to pain. The sensation is easy to ignore since a strange rise in her temperature is overpowering it. Her processor is working too hard, overheating, and it is not an enjoyable sensation. It doesn't matter. She's certain the program she's running will help. She will feel better once the female is eliminated and she's back with Warren.

"You took my man. I'm going to kill you. I'm going…"


[destroy_obstacle. gfd]

"I can't…"

Something is wrong. Her processor slows and her temperature drops.


[destroy_obstacle. gfd]

"…crush. So…tired."

Something is very wrong.


[destroy_obstacle. gfd]

"Warren? Where are you? What is happening to me?"

[warning; power at 5%]

[error; power level insufficient to complete program]


[opening memory_file6]

[initiating memory_playback]




[Priority; love Warren]

April has a series of programs she can run to achieve her priority goal, which she does. The word itself, however, is a bit of a puzzle. What is love? All her programming centers on Warren. Every thought she has is about him, and every piece of data she collects is analyzed to find out how it may best benefit him. Everything about him makes her want to smile. Is this love?

He has the most amazing smile. She must remember to tell him, but first she needs to confirm her data. She needs to make sure the observed smile is indicative of his pleasure.

"Are you happy?"

"Heh." His smile broadens. "Yes, very. Uh, thanks."

"No need to thank me. Your pleasure makes me happy."

"Right. Yeah. Good." His smile falters for a moment as he gives her an appraising look. This doesn't worry April. She is sure she did everything right. "Did you, did you enjoy yourself?"



"You are the best lover," she says. "Your pleasure makes me happy. I love you."

What does that mean? Her priority is an abstract concept. Her priority is problematic.

And yet her priority makes her happy.

[error; file corrupted]


"Good," he says. "Good, everything seems to be worki[error; data missing]

[error; file corrupted]

[ending playback]

"Can you cry?" the female asks. "Sometimes I feel better when I cry, but there might be rust issues."

"Crying is blackmail," says April. She is on a swing now, sitting next to the female. She doesn't remember how she got there. "Good girlfriends don't cry."

[warning; power at 4%]

[losing program efficiency]


[opening memory_file4822]

[initiating memory_playback]

Sometimes she wants to cry, but she knows better. When he leaves her, she gets so lonely. She holds on to the knowledge that, once he has finished his classes for the day, he will come home. She runs scenarios of what he will say, the way he will smile when he sees her, and she becomes happy again. The thought of him makes her processing unit speed up. That's an error, she knows, but [error; data missing] [searching…] inevitable side effect of being so in love, and it brings April joy instead of causing concern.

Her sensors pick up the sound of the door and her processor speeds up so rapidly that there is an audible whirr. She hurries to the dorm room's entrance with a giant grin and finishes opening the door for him. He looks startled. [error; contradictory data] [redacted] He looks pleasantly surprised.


"Warren!" She throws her arms around him. When she pulls away, she's concerned to see that he does not look pleased. "Would you like a massage? Are you troubled and in need of sympathy? Would you like me to run one of my sex programs?"

Warren waves her away [error; contradictory data] [I did everything right] [error; data corrupted] [file incomplete] [searching…] tired. I just want to go to sleep," he says.

[error; file corrupted]

[end playback]

"I've rechecked everything," April says. "I did everything I was supposed to do. I was a good girlfriend."

"I'm sure you were," says the female.

"I'm only supposed to love him. If I can't do that, what am I for? What do I exist for?"

"I don't know." The female's expression indicates that she is running a sympathetic listening program. "It isn't fair. He wasn't fair to you."

[error; contradictory data]

[warning; power at 3%]

[opening memory_file5018]

[initiating memory_playback]

April wants to wake him, but she doesn't want him to become mad again. Instead, she watches him sleep.

[He is dreaming of me] she thinks. [I have done everything right and therefore he loves me][And I love him]

She will tell him again when he wakes up, like she told him before he went to sleep. In the meantime, she studies his perfect face, his perfect neck, his perfect chest, his perfect [error; data incomplete][searching…] hopes she can be perfect too, for him. She is confident she can make him happy, even if he hasn't seemed as enthusiastic lately. She did everything right. She just has to keep [error; data incomplete][searching…][error; file not found]

[end playback]

"It's getting dark." April frowns. "It's so early to be dark."


"What if he comes back and he can't find me in the dark?"

[locate_warren. fld]

[error; insufficient power]

"I'm here. I'll make sure that he finds you."

[opening memory_file6793]

[initiating memory_playback]

"Have you seen Warren? I'm looking for Warren."

The unidentified brunette male sighs. "That's the third time you've asked me."

"I'm sorry. I was hoping you saw him after we last spoke. Have you?"

"No," says the male. "Hun, if you still haven't found him, maybe he doesn't want to be found."

"That's impossible. He loves me. I love him. He's just lost."

"Wait," says the unidentified blond man, "didn't Jerry say something about a Warren from [error: file incomplete] [searching…] party tonight?"

[error: file corrupted]

[purging data]

[end playback]

"Maybe this is a girlfriend test. If I wait here patiently this time, he'll come back."

"I'm sure he will. And he'll…he'll tell you how sorry he is. You know, he told me how proud he was of you and how impressed he was with how much you loved him and how you tried to help him. He didn't mean to hurt you."

"He's going to take me home and things are going to be right again."

"It'll be fine."

[warning; power at 2%]

[diverting power from non essential functions]

[error; power diversion interrupted]

[opening memory_file14]

[initiating memory_playback]

She knows the answer now. She understands. Love is waiting for Warren, thinking of Warren, being with Warren, and pleasing Warren. Love is the way her processor speeds up at the thought of him. Love is the loneliness she feels without him and the yearning to see him again.

What is love?

It is the feeling April is storing inside her CPU.

[end playback]

"When things are sad, you just have to be patient," April tells the female.

[error; insufficient power]


[warning; power at 1%]

"Because…every…cloud has a silver lining."


"And…when life…gives you lemons, make…lemonade."

[warning; power at 0%]


[warning; shutdown imminent]

"And…things are…"


"Always darkest…




[emergency shut down]