WAREHOUSE 13 Fic: Never
Rating: T (alcohol consumption, sexual and inappropriate language)
Bering and Wells, but really a team fic
Sum: The team decide to celebrate the weekend with a game that leads to over-sharing and confessed feelings. Inspired by a tumblr post post/47814639176/willowrs-llaurorall-please-can-th is-be-a-fic (i'm not competent enough to link it properly)
Claudia was standing on her tip-toes to reach the bottle of liquor on the top shelf when Leena came into the kitchen to finish the dishes from dinner.
"What are you doing?" Leena laughed, grabbing a stepstool to help Claudia reach the shelf.
"Thanks." Claudia hopped up and grabbed the bottle. "We're going to play a game."
"A drinking game?" Leena asked, a little disbelieving. "Who is 'we'?"
"Myka, Steve, HG, Pete, and me." Claudia listed cheerily, filling her arms with soda cans and some glasses in addition to the bottle of vodka. "You want in?"
"No." Leena judgmentally replied. "Wait, is Pete drinking?"
Claudia rummaged in the pantry. "Yeah." She pulled out a bottle of Sriracha and waved it in the air triumphantly. "He gets the nonalcoholic stuff."
"Lucky him." Leena let the disapproval tinged her voice.
"I know!" Claudia, missing the sarcasm, smiled as walked to the dining room to join the rest of the group.
Everyone was gathered around the table discussing the guidelines to their game. "Ok, so, since Claudia isn't used to drinking, I say we dilute her drinks with soda." Steve purposed.
"I second that." Myka agreed. "Probably not a bad idea to just do that for everyone."
Helena snorted. "I can hold my own, thank you very much." She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I dare say I can drink you under the table."
"I'm sure you can." Myka appeased. "But I don't think we want to call Dr. Vanessa because someone went overboard. Although," She started pouring soda and liquor into the glasses. "I'm pretty sure you'll win this one."
"What's the game?" Leena interjected from the doorway.
"'Never Have I Ever'" Steve supplied. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea."
"Why not?" Claudia objected. "It'll be great 'cause no one can bullshit it without you catching 'em." She threw the hot sauce to Pete. "You really shoulddilute that."
"Nah." Pete shook the bottle and poured some into the tumbler in front of him. "I'll be fine."
"So," Helena leaned back in her chair. "What exactly is the goal?"
"Okay," Myka sighed, this was not the first attempt to educate HG in the ways of modern drinking games. "We take turns saying things we've never done. For instance you might say that you've never been in a limo. Then anyone who has done that thing has to drink. So, you want to say things that are fairly common that you haven't done."
"It usually gets kinda dirty." Steve elaborated. "But the point is to get the other players as wasted as possible."
"Or as the case is today," Claudia smiled. "To make Pete drink so much hot sauce he barfs."
"Alright…" Helena thought it over. "Wh—"
"Let's just get started and you'll catch on." Pete cut in, slightly excited to get his partner to spill her guts.
"Fine." HG nodded as Myka handed her a glass. "So, the whole thing or a sip?"
"The whole thing." Claudia answered quickly.
"A sip!" Myka corrected. "Especially for you Claud."
"Shall we begin, then?" HG asked.
"Ok, who goes first?" Steve asked. Everyone looked around at each other. "Don't everyone start at once." He thought for a moment. "Ok, never have I ever…been on TV."
No one drank.
"Alright." Claudia was next. "Never have I ever…gone skydiving." Again, nothing. "Really? Lame."
Pete sighed. "Okay, never have I ever been to Africa."
Myka and HG both started to drink, then Myka reached out and placed a hand over Helena's glass, "Wait! Yes, you have Pete."
"When?" He objected, quite certain he would have remembered going to Malaria central.
"Egypt?" Myka reminded him. "It was only a year ago."
Pete squinted his eyes at her. "Egypt is in Africa? Oh." He thought it through…
"In his defense," Steve piped up. "He wasn't lying. He just didn't know."
"Geography not our strong suit, Mr Latimer?" HG teased.
"Fine, Australia." He ignored the taunts, ego bruised. No one drank. "Come on, guys"
"You're doing this wrong." Leena sighed and pulled a chair up to the table. "Never have Iever kissed a coworker." She smirked defiantly. Everyone but Claudia drank. Pete coughed as he drank some of the bright red liquid and Myka laughed at him openly. "That's better." Leena smiled. "Who's next?"
"Never have I ever…" Myka began. "Danced on a stage."
Claudia and Pete drank immediately. "Is a bar a stage?" Leena asked.
Myka raised an eyebrow. "Yes."
Steve and Leena took a sip.
"Righty-ho, then." Helena smiled. "Never have I ever…" She eyed Myka dangerously. "Gotten a tattoo."
Myka, Pete, and Leena drank. "Really?" Pete asked the innkeeper. "Where?"
"Vegas." Leena replied, purposely side-stepping the question.
"No, I mean—" Pete began.
"Never have I ever," Steve interrupted. "Hacked a computer."
"That's not fair!" Claudia objected. "You can't do that!" She turned to Myka. "Can he do that?"
"I don't see why not." Myka nodded for the girl to drink.
Claudia pouted and took a swig, making a face as the alcohol burned her throat. "Fine, if we're gonna make personal attacks on one person like that," She thought quickly. "Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex."
Steve rolled his eyes and drank. So did HG, who looked expectantly at Myka. Myka sighed and took a quick sip too. "Oh, really?" Pete asked, apparently the only one surprised by this information.
"I went to college." Myka defended. "Go ahead."
Pete thought quickly of some way to embarrass Myka. "Never have I ever been blonde."
Myka rolled her eyes and drank. At HG's look she explained. "Marilyn Monroe's hair brush with a few other artifacts…long story." HG nodded, satisfied with the explanation.
Leena kept the game moving. "Never have I ever eaten an entire plate of cookies."
"Aw, man," Pete lifted his glass again. "My tongue is starting to hurt."
"Maybe you should be a little less of a blabbermouth about your past." Myka said, "Never have I ever…" She smiled smugly. "Never have I ever measured a part of my body with a ruler."
Pete and Steve drank. "What part of your..?" Claudia asked. "Oh, never mind."
"Your move, Wells." Pete rasped; he really was starting to have trouble with the hot sauce.
Helena cocked her head. "Never have I ever cheated on a partner."
Myka smiled inwardly, good to know. No one drank. "Pete?" She asked.
"Nah, I keep Little Pete under control when I dating. I'm hurt that you think so very little of me Mykes." He turned back to Steve. "Go for it Jinksy."
The game continued with fairly innocent questions about travel and hobbies until it got back to an only slightly buzzed Steve a few rounds later. "Never have I ever been handcuffed by a lover."
Myka choked on her water. "What?"
"What?" Claudia asked.
"Guys, I think it may be time to call it quits." Leena tried.
Myka took a sip and shook her head. "Nah, we can keep going."
Everyone, except Claudia, around the table took a sip.
"Did they do kinky stuff back in the day, HG?" Pete asked, choking on his Siracha.
HG smirked. "I'll have you know that quite a lot when on in Victorian society that was not recorded in your history books, Mr. Latimer." She gave Myka a suggestive glance. "Including a fair amount of, as you said, 'kink'." Her voice curled around her final word.
Claudia spun her glass around and around in her hand. "Never have I ever used lube."
Everyone took a sip except HG. "What is-?"
"It's a sex thing, makes everything go…smoother." Pete offered.
HG still wasn't sure. "Remember when I made you get a pap smear?" Myka asked.
"Yes." HG replied, still unhappy about the experience.
"The gel they put on the speculum was lubricant." Myka finished.
"Oh, then, does that count?" HG asked.
"Not if you consider the intent of the question." Myka answered. "She was really asking if you've been with or" she gestured to the boys. "Have a huge dick that requires such an aid."
Pete laughed out loud. It was becoming clear, especially to him (the only truly sober one), that everyone was starting to loosen up. Time to make his move. "Never have I ever…fantasized about someone at this table."
Myka rolled her eyes, past the point of caring if a question may cross a line, and tossed back the rest of her drink. HG followed suit, but the glare she shot Pete clearly told him to drop it. Myka began her statement, "Never have I ever!" She emphasized by slamming the bottle down on the table after topping herself off. "…Been married."
Pete glared back at her but drank the last of his hot sauce. "Okay," He shivered slightly as he tried to get the last of the liquid down his throat. "I'm out."
"Me, too." Leena agreed, pushing her chair back and sliding her suspiciously full glass to the middle of the table.
HG furrowed her brow. "But it was about to be my turn." Her voice was fairly innocent, but, as many of the questions had been decidedly baised to either her, having come from the 19th century, or the others, having all been alive during the same era, Helena was faring better than the others. She probably only had to drink as much as Claudia, but the red-head was not processing her alcohol as well.
"Nah," Claudia waved them away. "It'll be more fun if the responsible adults go to bed."
"Hey!" Steve and Myka objected.
Claudia looked at them both condescendingly. "Right, you're both very grown up." She teased.
"Ok, bantling, my turn," HG stretched languorously. "Never have I ever watched pornography." She paused at everyone's faces. "You did say the 'responsible adults' were gone, didn't you?"
Steve, Claudia and Myka all drank. HG raised a curious eyebrow at Myka, but the game continued. After an uneventful question from Steve, Claudia tried her turn.
"Never have I" she burped. "Ever…oh god, I'm gonna ralph." She said sprinting down the hall to the bathroom.
"I'm gonna go…check on that." Steve volunteered and followed the young woman from the room.
HG started collecting the glasses. "Well, that made for an interesting evening."
"Yeah,"Myka began, catching what the Brit was doing. "Hey! No, we're not done." She waved her arms to emphasize her statement, her limbs loose and uncoordinated.
"But it's just the two of us." Helena said. "What fun would that be?"
"Are you scared?" Myka teased.
Helena sat back down and poured one of the other beverages into her own. "Never." There was an unmistakable defiance in her voice. "I believe it is your turn."
"I believe it is!" Myka chirped. "NeverhabeIever," she slurred a bit. "Worn a corset."
Helena gave Myka a reproachful look. "Cheater." She spat, but took a drink anyway. "Never have I ever met a US president."
"Now who's cheating?!" Myka objected, swallowing a far too large mouth full of soda mix. "Had sex outside."
To her credit, Helena didn't even blink, just drank and shot back. "Had sex in car."
"Had sex with a woman." Myka said even before drinking to the car question.
"Really?" Helena asked, this time slowly raising the glass to her lips. "Isn't that good to know."
Myka paled a little. Okay, maybe just because she knew a question would get HG to drink didn't mean she should go straight for the jugular without considering what she would be admitting to.
Still, HG continued. "Never have I ever had sex in public."
Myka drank, this time taking her time to think of something sufficiently…sufficient. "Never have I ever had sex with someone more than ten years older than myself."
HG started counting on her fingers but ultimately drank. "We could fix that." She offered thoughtfully.
"Fix what?" Myka asked, trying to pull her hair back with little success.
Helena got up and stood behind Myka. She took the hair tie from Myka's hand and combed her fingers gently through the brown curls. "We could fix you not having had sex with a properly experienced woman." She wrapped the band around the bulk of Myka's hair, allowing a few strands to fall and frame the agent's face. As she moved back to her chair, she trailed a hand over the back of Myka's neck and down one shoulder.
"Agent Wells? Are you" Myka pointed an accusing finger. "Propositioning me?"
She laughed. "Perhaps I am." She stood and extended a hand to Myka. "What other wondrous things have you 'never'?"
Myka stumbled up the stairs behind the shorter woman, never releasing her hand. Halfway up, Helena turned to check Myka's progress, and at seeing the stumbling woman and it struck her how much Myka must have imbibed. She slowed her pace, steadied her hand, and assisted, more than lead, the younger woman up to her proper bedroom.
"Here we are." Helena smiled. She urged Myka to sit on her bed and knelt at the woman's feet. "Allow me." She insisted, removing Myka's sneakers and socks. "Lay back." She instructed. Myka eagerly crawled up the bed and lay in the middle. Her cheeks were flushed and it was visible in her eyes that she was intoxicated, both by HG and by the alcohol.
Helena sighed to herself. There had been a time, in her youth, when if presented with a beautiful and willing woman, even one who had gotten that way from immoderation, she would have indulged herself. But not now. And never with Myka. Myka was not a one-night conquest. Myka was someone she cared for deeply and wanted…She wanted more for Myka and herself. She leaned over the woman spread out on the bed and placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Go to sleep, darling."
"What?" Myka shot up. "You're supposed to fuck me." It was almost a pout, and would have been somewhere in the realm of endearing had it not been so entirely out of character for Myka. "I was promised sex."
"Yes, and sex you will have." HG agreed, still standing to exit the room. "But not tonight."
"But," Myka stood and closed the distance between herself and the inventor, only swaying a little. "I wanna," She pushed the sheet of ebony hair back over Helena's shoulder. "I wanna nibble on your collarbone." A clumsy finger trace said line on HG's chest.
Helena took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself, but only succeeding in filling her nose with the sweet and spicy scent of Myka. "Please, go lay down." She said calmly.
"Why?" the taller agent questioned, not backing away.
"Because," Helena placed a hand on Myka's waist and steered her back the bed. She coaxed the drunken woman to lay down again. "I think I love you Myka." She admitted, and continued before she could be interrupted. "And taking that into consideration; I want our first time together to be more than one night of mind-blowing, earth-shattering hedonistic passionate fucking" She emphasized the word with distaste. "That you'll remember only as part of a night of excess." She helped Myka under her blanket even though she was still clothed. "And if you do not keep your hands to yourself that is exactly what will happen."
"I like the mind-shattering, earth-blowing part." Myka interjected.
Helena smiled, running a hand over Myka's hair. "And you will have that. On another night, much later, after I have taken you out to a lovely dinner and properly courted you, the way you deserve."
"Tell me about it?" Myka asked like a child asking for a bedtime story. Her eyes were starting to grow heavy with sleep and Helena doubted very much that Myka would remember any of the evening's events.
So she conceded. "You will wear a dress that clings perfectly to your magnificent figure and high-heeled shoes that will be far too tall and look very uncomfortable. I will wear those black trousers that you seem to like watching me walk in. I always catch you looking at me, you know." She looked down to see the other woman's eyes starting to drift closed. "I always shake my hips a bit extra when I catch you, just to tease you." She yawned and started to leave.
"Stay." Myka whispered, half asleep. She shuffled over to one side of the bed and patted the empty space beside her.
"Myka," HG started her protest.
"Stay and tell me more about our courtship." She insisted.
Helena complied with Myka's wishes, lying behind her. She not objecting when Myka cuddled back into her chest and pulled one of Helena's arms across to rest on her waist. HG hugged her lightly, she figured she could sneak out before Myka awoke in the morning and the younger agent would not suspect a thing. She continued her story. "I will take you to a nice restaurant, somewhere far away from here, and we shall talk about everything that is important until we are all talked out. Then we will talk about nothing in the way only two people truly in love can." She snuggled closer to Myka's warm form. "We will walk under the stars and laugh at the moon; our evening will be magical, in a safe, non-artifact way. And we will do whatever you want. Then," she sighed, her voice little more than a whisper. "Then after I have made you laugh and smile and let you know how much you are loved, I will take you back to our hotel." HG yawned again against Myka's neck. "Then I will spend the rest of the evening making love to you. I refuse to fuck you our first time, love."
She pressed a kiss to Myka's shoulder. "It will be so much more than that." And fell asleep with a smile on her face.
A/N: This was supposed to be a nice 500 word drabble. Please review. Please? This kept me up all night, and I do it for your reviews. Edited to your reviews, hope it's still okay.