Seriously guys, I am in a weird mood and don't ask me where this came from because I do not know at all!
I don't own Criminal Minds at all and there is a tiny bit of alcohol, well quite a bit of alcohol use in this but not much!
Enjoy... I guess...
"Reid are you cheating?" JJ accused as she slipped yet another fifty note into her pile from Morgan's without anyone noticing.
"What!" Reid gasped as he rolled the dice and bought yet another lot. Morgan snickered at the remark and nodded along with the rest of the team.
"Yeah Pretty Boy, how do you keep stealing all my fifties?" Morgan pointing to the diminishing pile of fifty dollar notes. Reid shrugged and then pointed to Garcia, who sat next to Morgan.
"Why don't you blame Garcia?" Reid defended, as Hotch took his turn on the dice.
"I would never do that to my man!" Garcia patted Morgan as if he were a little dog and Morgan put on a wide smile as Reid poked his tongue at him.
"This is rigged," Hotch growled, "Every time I roll, I get sent to jail or have to pay taxes!"
"Yeah that police woman's out to get ya," Emily's nodded as she downed yet another shot and swayed a little.
"She looks like Strauss, she even has Strauss's pose: Yelling at someone," Hotch pointed out as he moved his piece to jail. The whole team bellowed in laughter.
"She Does!" Emily hiccuped.
Rossi picked up the dice, determined to role an eight. He slowly and carefully shook the dice in his hand. He took a deep and calm breath and released the dice.
"Yes!" He shouted, "It's all mine!" He fumbled with the money from 'Free Parking' and hurriedly put it into his large pile.
"Someone's getting a little bit protective," JJ whispered to Emily, who snickered wildly and almost fell over backwards as a result but was saved as JJ reached back for her.
"JJ, it's your turn," Reid reminded, he had his eye on a specific lot for a while and he'll be damned if anyone was going to take it from him.
"Yeah, yeah calm your farm," JJ said as she picked up the dice and rolled, "Hey I'll buy this!"
"NOOOOO!" Reid screamed, his eyes glaring daggers at JJ, who was now wide eyed.
"Too bad bucko," Making her hand noticeable to Reid as she took yet another fifty from Morgan, "It's mine."
"Morgan, did you see that she took your fifty!" He rapidly pointed to JJ, who had now already taken the fifty.
"No way Pretty Boy, don't go putting the blame on her because she bought the lot you wanted," Morgan patronized.
"But…" Reid whimpered as JJ poked her tongue out at him and quickly smiled at Morgan.
"No 'buts' Pretty Boy," Morgan shook his head.
Rossi handed the lot card to JJ who gladly took it and put it in her pile, giving Reid a mocking smile.
"Come on, Baby needs a good roll," Garcia chanted as she throw the dice at the board. Chance.
"God please be a good one," She wished as she reluctantly picked up the Chance card, "Awww nuts, why does the hospital need twenty-five dollars?" She looked down at her pile, she only had a little bit of money left. Rossi glared at her and extended a hand for the money. Garcia grumbled as she handed over twenty-five dollars.
"Don't worry, Baby Girl," Morgan hugged the now moping Garcia, giving JJ the perfect opportunity to take more than a fifty dollar note but this time Reid was ready. Reid pulled out his phone and turned the camera on. He smirked, now she won't get away with it. Yes.
"Alright, you guys want proof, here's your proof that JJ's a thief!" Reid declared proudly as he played the video. They all gasped in shock. JJ shrunk into herself as Morgan looked hurt.
"You stole from me!" Morgan gasped, shocked that his friend would do such a thing to him.
"Aww my poor baby," Garcia cooed, softly holding Morgan in her warm arms.
"How come she doesn't get sent to jail," Hotch mumbled, crossing his arms, pouting.
"What does Judge Prentiss charge with stealing money from another player?" Reid asked, everyone turned to Emily , who took another swig at the new bottle in her hand.
"Death!" She shouted, throwing a hand up as a declaration.
Rossi leaned over to whisper in her ear, "That was banned, remember?"
"Oh," Emily looked confused for a moment before she thought up another punishment, "Removal from the game!"
"What!" JJ gasps, shacking was dread, it was worse than death.
"What does the jury say?" Reid shouts, a big wide smile was spreading across his face as he smugly looked at JJ.
"Yay!" They all shouted in tune.
"Nay!" JJ shrieked, her mind was racing, she had to do something.
"You don't get a vote," Garcia emphasized each word, still holding Morgan in her arms, rocking him slowly.
"Ahhhhh… I get the right to a lawyer!" A big wide smile appeared on her face.
"Does the judge allow?" Reid asked to the highly intoxicated Emily.
"Yes…" She declared, although she didn't seem to know what she was saying yes to but who cares.
"Fine, since Hotch has been a lawyer, he's yours," Rossi appointed to a now hopeful JJ.
Hotch and JJ went to the corner of the room to discuss a plan of action.
"Well what do we do?" JJ urged towards Hotch, who was thinking.
"Well…" Hotch mumbled, thinking hard.
"What?" JJ questioned, stress creased across her face.
"Well…" Hotch mumbled again, still staring at the floor in concentration.
"What?" JJ was getting impatient.
"Well…" He said once again and this sent JJ right off her face.
"What!?"She shouted, causing everyone sitting on the floor to look at her with curious faces.
"I don't know," Hotch shrugged simply, not caring really but heck.
"What do you mean you 'don't know'?!" She was getting desperate and angry, she ain't gonna leave this game, she was going to crush Reidfor runing her perfect plan: Stealing from Morgan.
"They've got the evidence, we've got nothing, best thing to do would be to try and ease the sentence to fifty roles in jail," Hotch explained.
"Fifty rolls! What, I can't do that," JJ exclaimed, fifty roles, that would make her bankrupt and she would lose the game.
"I can try to get less time but it's not likely," Hotch said, looking back to the team, who were now having a staring contest while they were discussing their plan.
"Fine, let's take them," JJ marched over to the group, Hotch following her.
"Alright let's start," JJ declared, interupting the staring contest.
"Sixty rolls in jail!" Judge Prentiss declared, hammering down a bottle of beer as a sign of the final sentance.
"What, I thought the most I would get was fifty!" JJ was enraged by the turn of events.
"They had a good case," Hotch shrugged at her, clearly not phased with it, "Not like you don't deserve it," He mumbled.
"What?" She asked.
"Nothing," He quickly replied.
JJ placed her piece in jail and angrily grabbed a bottle of beer and chugged it down.
"Alright my tur-," Morgan didn't even get to finish the sentence when Emily collapsed on the broad game, ending it in a bang.
"Damn," Rossi said, staring at the splattered game pieces that flew everywhere.
"Well, what are we going to do now?" Reid questioned, looking bummed that the game had ended before he could permanently end JJ.
"Don't worry my lovelies, I always bring back-up," Garcia chimed, putting forward a whole cooler full of beer.
"Looks like the night has only begun," Morgan laughed.
"Guys… guys, have you ever wondered why… why we're alive?" Reid was laying on his back, staring aimlessly at the ceiling, that now seemed so interesting.
"No I haven't, I'll try to think about it now," Hotch slurred out, he wobbled from the ground and placed himself in a chair and began staring at the floor, a hard look on his face, thinking.
"You see, I think t-that it has t-to do with that w-we were m-made f-for g-greater purposes," Reid explained, flapping his hand around for another beer and eagerly slurped it down.
"Oh my god!" Garcia gasped, amazed at Reid, "That is s-so deep!"
"Yeah, it is," Reid started giggling uncontrollably before crawling over to a now passed out JJ and resting himself near her, using her legs as a pillow.
"Rossi where are we?" Morgan questioned, eating left over peanuts that scattered the floor.
"I-I have no idea," Rossi was confused as he hopped on a swivel chair and started to spin himself around, giggling like a 12 year old girl.
"I have it!"Hotch shouted, they all stared at him, waiting for an answer, "No, wait, it's gone."
They all resumed what they were doing. Morgan soon grew tired of finding peanuts and curled next to Reid, cuddling him.
Garcia started to draw mustaches on all the people who had passed out while Hotch continued to think.
The door flew open and there stood a hideous monster. Rossi screamed in terror and ran under the tabled. Hotch was in shock and fainted. Garcia hid under the mass of sleeping people. They were all frighten, they were all scared at this... being.
"What are you all doing!" Demanded the Monster, a monster called Erin Strauss.
I hope it made you laugh because I did! Review and stuff and contact me if you have any ideas!