No, your not seeing things and FF hasn't screwed up. I posted a chapter that was in reality, utter shit. The following is the chapter that I wrote a while back and simply forgot about it. The crap chapter you red was written while I was sick. Sorry to anyone who is now confused. The Bella that I created in Worth the weight is not some sad wimpy cry baby. She is struggling with her weight and winning. Along the way she meets an amazing man and they develop a relationship. The chapter that was posted was all over the place and had too much going on. It had Bella acting like an idiot and Edward being forward. So please forgive me and try and enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 10-New Chapter
In the days following the attack at the gym, I had plenty of time to over analyze the situation. Dad had told me not to even think about coming into work and I was never so happy to have a father in the position that he was. Jasper and Alice came over to see me, it was then that Jasper informed me that Tanya had been barred from the gym. His attorney had informed her attorney that if her car even ran out of gas on the same block, she would be arrested. It was a comforting thought, but did little to ease the internal battle I waged with myself when it came to Edward.
The completely foolish part of me believed that if I hadn't been with him that night Tanya would have left me alone. I wouldn't be covered in bruises and wouldn't have required the multitude of stitches. The logical side of me knew that Tanya was a mentally disturbed individual. She would have done what she did regardless of the path I chose. She needed mental help and I hope that she could now get that help.
Edward's parents had sent flowers and his mother made chicken soup for me that she said would cure anything. However, I had begun to push Edward away. I rationalized with myself that it was only things I didn't let other people do and so denying Edward wasn't pulling away. It was utter bullshit and I knew it, but he let me set the pace and figure out things for myself.
I had received an email from Irina yesterday. Rose, the big mouth, told her the entire story. She informed me that she was returning to the states and wanted to take me to lunch. I know this was Irina's way of not letting me shut myself off from the world. I would worry about her later. First order of business today was a follow up with my doctor. The appointment had already been set up, but with the Tanya attack, I figured I could be checked for both issues.
"Bella." Maria, Dr. Banner's nurse was as beautiful as ever. I have never seen her without a smile on her face. The best part of her is that she can be professional when she needs to be, but she can also talk to you like one of your friends. She motioned for me to stand on the scale.
"Let's see what the truth machine has to say today."
I had confided in her the nick name I had given the scale; she laughed and asked if she could use that term in the future.
I watched the numbers flash zero and then had to open and close my eyes several times.
"Look at you girl! Down 25 pounds."
I stepped off the scale and insisted something was wrong.
"Let me try that again. That can't be right."
Three tries later, it was official, I was down 25 pounds and for a brief time I forgot about the bruises and stitches. My clothes were definitely loose on me and I could feel a difference in my activity level, but twenty five pounds? I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear Dr. Banner come in the room.
"Good morning skinny lady."
I couldn't help but smile. I never thought it would feel this good when the pounds came off. This was better than any spoon full of ice cream or hand full of potato chips. This was something I did, something to make me better.
"Congratulations are in order, but first I want to hear about this accident you had."
Even retelling the story to him didn't sting quite as bad. Tanya couldn't take away my feeling of pride in myself. She couldn't destroy all of my hard work. She had no power over me when it came to my weight.
He checked out my stitches and then instructed me to return at the first of the week and Maria would remove them. I offered my hand out to him as I always did at the end of my exam, however he gently took me into his arms in a very warm hug.
"You did good kid, your inspiring me to drop a few pounds."
I made an appointment for another month as he reminded me that we still had work to do. I smiled and thanked everyone as I left the office and made my way to the deli on Fifth Street. It was Irina's favorite and she would meet Rose and me at noon. As I entered the deli, I could hear Irina's distinctive laugh. I followed the laughter to find Irina, Rose and Emmett sitting at a large table. A very large dark haired man sat next to Irina with his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He was sipping a glass of ice tea as he watched the conversation around him. I crossed the room, catching the eye of Emmett who stood and pulled out a chair for me, leaning over and kissing my cheek.
"Oh my god!...Bella look at you!" Irina squealed as she rose from her chair and ran quickly around the table. Irina was always a beautiful girl, however today she had almost an angelic glow about her. Her hug was bone crushing and I winced as she hugged me.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I was just so happy to see you."
I smiled and then kissed her cheek. "Rena it's no big deal. I haven't seen you in months, how are you?"
Something big had to have happened, her smile was electric and she had almost a bounce to her posture. Completely unlike her.
Irina had dark hair, deep blue eyes and the palest skin I had ever seen. Hell, she made me look like I had a good tan. She once told me that her grandmother used to make her bath in milk to keep her skin as pale as it was. She believed that the color of your skin was the true measure of your heart. Her family insisted she be pure. The milk baths ended shortly after she became a citizen.
"Well, Bella…I would like you to meet Ivan, my husband."
I turned to see the man that was sitting beside her, who was also very handsome. He was smiling like he had just won the lottery and by the look of Irina's ring, I was pretty sure he spent the whole thing on it.
Ivan hadn't stopped smiling the entire time he slowly placed a gentle kiss on her upper cheek and then said something into her ear. I had to look away, I felt like a voyeur, stealing a moment from a young and in love couple. He then cleared his throat and I glanced back to see him holding out his hand toward me.
"Pleasure to meet you, Bella. Irina talks about you nonstop."
I looked at Irina and gave her a questionable look. She looked lovingly into Ivan's eyes as she nudged his shoulder.
"Don't worry; some things will go to the grave with me." We both began to giggle at that.
"Ivan it is a pleasure to meet you as well, only I'm slightly pissed that I didn't get an invite to the wedding."
Poor Ivan, his face fell and he quickly looked at Irina.
"I told you they would be mad if we married without your friends there."
He was so cute, he was so much bigger than her, but you could see that she could bring him to his knees. He would do anything for her.
"Ivan, its fine. I know how I rank with her. She will tell me about your children when they graduate from high school."
Everyone was laughing now and even Ivan cracked a smile.
"So at least tell me how you met this human wall." Ivan was a very big guy, even sitting, he was several inches taller than Emmett.
"Well you remember how my aunt called saying that my grandmother was ill and I had to come quickly?" I nodded my head as I did remember her scurrying around her apartment packing in near tears.
"Well, his grandmother and my grandmother are friends. They made up this huge lie that they were both sick and had to have us there to take care of them. They just knew we would be perfect for each other and when I laid eyes on him I didn't want to leave his side."
"So, when we found out about their little match making scheme, we contracted a plan to make them think we hated each other."
Ivan chuckled as he again took a sip of his ice tea.
"You should have seen the two of them. The more we pretended to hate each other, the more detailed the grandmothers became."
"Yes, but the meetings in secret were nice." Ivan winked at Irina as he added to the conversation.
Irina admitted that they decided to get married just prior to leaving. He asked her to marry him only a few weeks into knowing each other.
"I just knew she was the one for me."
Turns out, Ivan is a pediatrician in Seattle, and Irina will be working with him at his office until she becomes pregnant.
"I can't wait for her to be carrying my baby."
And there it was, the Hollywood moment that brings tears to every girl's eyes as she watches the big screen.
"Rose was telling me about this big hunk of man she has managed to snag. Bella tell me about the new man in your life?"
I took in a deep breath and chose to be honest. There has never been a discussion of our relationship between Edward and I. Going to Seattle and playing pool with him didn't constitute a relationship other than friendship.
"I have met a very nice guy, his name is Edward, and he is a lot of fun to be around."
There truthful and to the point. However, Irina was never one for sedulity. She had no issue ever telling you just exactly how things were.
"Yes, Bella, but how is he in the sack?"
I gave her a go-to-hell look as I responded, "you know I don't fuck my friends."
The statement held more than just a sexual meaning. Several years ago, another one of our friends went behind Irina's back and slept with her boyfriend at the time. Rose caught them and let's just say the girl was arrested for indecent exposure when she was found running down the street naked after Rose threw them both out.
"But he isn't a friend; at least that's how I understood it."
Rose and Irina exchanged a look. They had been discussing things behind my back. Rose for one knew I hated that. She would hear about it later as I wouldn't start anything in the restaurant.
"He is a friend Irina; we went out as a group and to a pool tournament in Seattle with his parents."
Thankfully, the food arrived and the subject of Edward and I was dropped. We spoke about the house that Irina and Ivan were buying and how his family wanted to throw a huge party to celebrate.
"Mom, however, won't let it go that we weren't married in the church, so she refuses to acknowledge that we are married. Ivan said for me to just plan one and then everyone would be happy."
The conversation shifted to wedding planning and how they would have a huge affair due to the size of each of their families.
"So, Rose, you said something about a possible change for you?"
Irina was eating her salad. She held the forkful of lettuce just outside of her mouth while she addressed Rose. My appetite was still very low and I was mostly pushing things around my plate.
"Um…well…yeah….as a matter of fact, Emmett and I have made a decision."
I looked to Rose who was looking at Emmett. I could tell by the flexing of his muscles in his arm that he was squeezing her hand under the table. I didn't like the look on her face. She turned back to face me, her face sad with apprehension.
"Bella….we wanted to talk with you first, but with what just happened, we decided to wait until you were better."
I sat my fork down on my plate and waited the news she had to share with me.
"Emmett has asked me to move in with him, but I won't do it if you are…."
Rose was quick to jump in with her sympathy for me. Emmett made her happy and just like Tanya by not taking away how I feel about myself, I won't let her keep these two apart.
"Rose, you know I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. Go live in sin with your human wall." I had always used humor as a way to hide my true feelings. I didn't want to be alone. I had never really considered Rose and I wouldn't live together. We had been a team for so long, but the reality is that she has moved on. She met a great guy and she needs to write her perfect fairy tale story with him.
"I know you can handle life on your own, but I feel like I have to choose between the two of you."
Her admission made me angry. "Why do you have to choose? I'm still going to be your sister, nothing will change that. I don't mind Emmett; he's good for getting things off the top shelf and lifting furniture so I can vacuum under it."
The table was laughing, except for Rose. She knew that the funnier I got, the more upset I was inside. I could see the tears begin to form.
"Rose, Emmett makes you happy. He loves you and wants to see your ugly face every morning. Go and have a great life with him. Really, I'm so happy for you. Besides, I will have an entire apartment to myself; I may convert your bedroom to a theater."
I smiled at her and reached across the table to take her hand. I tried to make her understand that this was the way it's supposed to happen. We grow and things change. It's just how life is. Irina and Rose had scooted their chairs together to talk about weddings. Rose had her wedding planned since she was three and Irina was the same, so I knew they could handle things. I watched out the deli window at the cars that drove by. I wondered how many of them were headed to work, to school, or off to see a secret lover.
"Can I ask you something?" Emmett's husky voice interrupted my pairng of a couple that was currently standing outside the window arguing. In my mind, she had found out about his secret crush on her brother.
"Sure." I responded not taking my eyes from the arguing couple.
"Edward told me about how you had to cancel on him a few weeks ago."
The mention of his name gained my attention and the couple forgotten. Emmett had placed his arms on the table, his upper body only a few inches from mine; leaning toward me.
"Rose said there was more to it, but she wouldn't tell me and that it was your story to tell."
I looked back out the window, the couple now replaced by an elderly lady walking her tiny dog. With Rose moving out, maybe I should find a dog. They love you unconditionally and only want to be fed and taken to the bathroom.
"And you want me to tell you?" My eyes now back on his face.
"Yes," his answer was straight and to the point; no "only if you're comfortable," just yes.
"What if I don't want to tell you?"
"Then I'll make up my own version; you won't look good in it, trust me."
Emmett could play word battle just as well as I could. No point in dragging it out.
"I found out that men can play this game where they have girls they take out to be seen with and girls they take back to their apartment and have for their sexual benefit with no concern for the girl involved."
"And…." His voice showed no emotion for what I had just said.
"The story is they make these amazing plans to take the girl to a nice restaurant. Then at the last minute, they make the girl think that by changing the plans to going to his apartment it's to be alone with her. In reality, it's to hide her from his friends. "
"And you think because Edward wanted to take you to his house instead of a nice restaurant, that he is hiding you?"
Emmett leaned forward and it scared me slightly.
"Bella, you know when a guy meets a girl's friends for the first time he always gets the 'if you hurt her, I will kill you' speech?"
I nodded acknowledging that I did know about this.
"Well then, you need to understand something, Edward doesn't play games, unless it's pool. He doesn't have a hidden agenda when it comes to you. Everyone knows how he feels about you, so your theory about him is absolute bullshit. The day you cancelled on him, he called me to find out what kind of trouble you were in. He was ready to do anything possible to make sure you were alright. "
My heart was now in my stomach. I could feel the tears starting and I swallowed hard to keep them at bay.
"Rose had to tell us it was nothing serious and that you had to work it out by yourself. Hearing now what the truth was, I'm not so certain I want you and Edward together. He deserves someone who can be honest with him, not someone who assumes that based on some douchebag actions, that every guy is scum."
His words cut me like a knife. I had no doubt he would run back to Edward and tell him the sorted tale. With a final swallow of my drink, I leaned into Emmett and responded, "Then I guess it's a good thing Edward is only friend material for me, but then again you may not feel I'm good enough for that either."
I stood smiling at Rose and Irina, tossing money on the table before telling the girls I would see them later. I made it back to my apartment before the tears started.
Bright and early that Saturday, our apartment was full of firemen in muscle shirts and shorts. It was a sight for certain. I avoided Emmett. Rose had been happy for days as she packed up her things, and I didn't want to be the reason for the smile coming off her face. With as many men as they had recruited it didn't take them long at all. They had all of Rose's belongings packed up and in the back of several pickup trucks.
"Edward volunteered to stay at the station so Emmett could help Rose."
Garret had been making jokes with me while he carried box after box out of the house. I was glad for his friendship, since Emmett was now in charge of who I could and could not befriend.
"I hear he is a great guy. It just confirms the rumors." I joked as the last box was loaded.
"Bella, don't let Emmett get to you. He and Edward have been friends forever; he's just concerned."
Sweeping the kitchen floor, I stopped and looked up at Garrett, "Yes….well, he had no reason to be; I'm not the one who attacked a girl over him."
Garrett said nothing while shaking his head. I was really getting sick of this drama that was being caused by Emmett. In the future, I would just ask Rose out for coffee or something if I wanted to see her. Emmett has no reason to ever darken my doorstep in the future.
After everyone left, I lit some candles and laid down with a book I had been waiting to read. I had just opened the cover when the door bell rang. I considered for a second not answering it, but then decided against it. I walked slowly over to the door and peeked through the peep hole. There standing, still in his uniform, was Edward. I unlocked the door and slowly opened it, my best "friend" face in place.
"Hey Edward, you just missed Emmett and the guys. I'm sure they will need your help over at his house." I stepped back waiting for him to thank me and then head over but he didn't.
Staring in my eyes he said, "I'm not here for Em, I'm here to talk with you."
I blinked several times, not able to open my mouth to invite him in. He took the initiative and walked past me. Closing the door, I questioned if I should have just kept reading my book.
"So….how are things?" Yes, my lame ass attempt to clear the uncomfortable tension in the room. It's sad how events can change the way two people interact with each other.
"I didn't come here to talk about the weather Bella." His tone was pissy and I debated asking him to leave. Dealing with Emmett and his man period was enough for a lifetime.
"Then please tell me why you are here then?" My tone just as clipped, but I didn't care.
I moved behind the kitchen counter, I had to put some distance between us, maybe diffuse the tension.
"Garrett called me. He said I needed to know what Emmett had been up to. So I called Em and asked him what was going on. He told me about your conversation the other day. He gave me some song and dance about you not being able to handle some things in my world."
Now I was puzzled and pissed off. Who the hell did he think he was trying to decide my life for me?
"So, I called him out on it. We've been friends long enough that he knows when to butt the hell out. I still can't figure out why he felt the need to say what he did to you."
Not wanting to continue this game of telephone they seemed to be playing, I walked back over to the door and opened it.
"Edward, it wasn't Garret's place to call you about what happened between myself and Emmett. God, I thought girls were bad about gossiping, but men take the flipping crown."
I turned back to find Edward now sitting on my sofa with his feet propped up on the coffee table.
"Your right, it wasn't their place, but it was your place to tell me when Emmett said what he did."
I walked heavily over to the sofa with the intent on putting a quick end to this game.
"What he said to me is between Emmett and myself. This isn't third grade and we aren't all on the playground telling one another who we can talk to and who we can't. Emmett has a right to his opinion and I have a right to mine. If he feels that I wouldn't fit in because of things you do, then whatever."
He removed his feet from the table, his face flushed and his eyes dilated.
"He doesn't have the right to go run his mouth about you and me. He doesn't get to choose who my friends are. He can't keep up with things in his own life and until he does, he needs to shut the fuck up about mine."
His words didn't get past me. Something was going on with Emmett, that meant something to do with Rose and that was completely my business.
"What is going on with him?'
Edward hung his head as he responded, "I'm not sure yet, but I will tell you when I have proof."
"Then tell me what you suspect?" I demanded.
He slumped back on the couch, closing his eyes as his head hit the pillow.
"Don't you think it's weird that he asked her to move in this quick?"
I rolled my eyes. Edward was worried about losing his bro-mance with Emmett.
"Edward, no one can put a time clock on love. Back in the day, people met on Sunday and got married on Wednesday. I find nothing suspicious about them wanting to be together."
"Oh, don't get me wrong. I know he loves her, I'm just questioning the rush."
I had to try and get him to understand that he was worried for nothing.
"Edward, if you had met the girl of your dreams, wouldn't you want to wake up with her every morning?"
He looked at me with a tortured face. His was hiding something.
"I would do the right thing and marry her first."
I couldn't help myself as I began to laugh, "You are a lost breed, Edward. No living in sin for you?"
He smiled, but it didn't reach his face, "I was born a gentleman, Bella."
And just like that, the tension was gone.
"So…can I ask you something?"
"You just did." I said, keeping a straight face.
"Can we start over?"
I just stared at him kind of speechless. He wanted to start what over?
He sat up and I followed him.
"What I mean is, can we start our relationship over again, minus the Tanya and Emmett drama?"
I was all about the lack of drama in my world. "Sure."
Edward suddenly stood tall and held out his hand, "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. I'd like to take you out sometime."
And cue the tension. With his hand still outstretched, he looked at me and tilted his head.
"Edward, we are friends right?"
He took his hand back and sat down beside me.
I couldn't look at him this time. I wanted to send him a letter and admit this one or anything instead of telling him in person.
"Ok…so, you remember the day that you called me from the seafood counter about the prawns?"
His bewildered face worsened. The scared little girl that lived deep inside me was begging me to keep it from him. Embarrassment was something to avoid. Instead, I dug in deep and took a breath and told him the entire story. When I was finished he sat very still looking at my blank television screen. He face turned from confusion to anger and I waited for him to start shouting at me.
"Bella, you want to know what makes me angry the most?"
I closed my eyes responding, "That I lied to you technically."
He chuckled and turned to fully face me, "No, that a guy that acts like an ass gives the rest of us good guys a bad reputation."
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was not expecting this at all.
"I don't want you to ever think I am embarrassed to be with you. I have talked about you with my parents, my friends, my coworkers. They all know everything about you."
His eyes told me everything, he was being truthful.
"So, now that you know where I stand, can we start over?"
I smiled as I nodded, "I would like that."
"Good, there is a concert in the park this Saturday, I'll pick you up at three and we can listen to the bands and then have dinner there or wherever you decide."
I could feel the happiness begin to bubble inside my chest.
"Oh no, you bragged about having mad cooking skills, I want prawns."
"Prawns it is then."
*Beta note-any errors you might see are mine and not Cayce's. I don't think there are though. I enjoyed this chapter better than the depressing previous one. Thanks Cayce.* Kim Roland-Edwards (Kimmie41)