A/N DEIDARA'S SPEECH TICK WILL APPEAR IN VARIOUS FORMS WHEN HE TALKS DEPENDING ON WHAT HE IS SAYING AND WHAT FIT'S IN SO IT WILL EITHER BE UN, YEAH OR HMM.

"TALKING"

'SARCASM'

'THOUGHTS'

(DEIDARA POVish)

Deidara touched down at the edge of Whirlpool country to take a break, granted he should have taken one 5 hours ago but there really was no where to land in the middle of the ocean, it had taken him just over a week to get there and he was tired from flying the whole way.

'Maybe I should of stopped more often, all well I'll just go find a town or something now to spend the night in and tomorrow I'll look for a place to stay permanently.'

Deidara walked towards the town he could see a couple of kilometres away, and deciding against carrying his stuff he sent his bird into the air again and made it follow him, suddenly he thought of what Kakuzu's reaction was to 'losing' 5 million dollars. He laughed as he walked imagining the look on the old bastards face.

'Oi you there, stop." called one of the guards. Deidara almost had a heart attack not that he showed it, but he was great full that they seemed at least wary of new comers that way he could know when someone new came in to town, that's if they didn't kick him out strait away or turn him down.

"State your name and purpose, a young lady such as your self shouldn't be traveling alone there's been reports of a murderer around lately and we can't seem to find him any where." said the guard. Deidara's brow twitched at being called a girl.

'Why is it that every time I meet someone I have to explain to them that I'm a guy is it that hard to notice that I don't have fucking boobs hanging off my chest, geez.'

"My name's Deidara, I'm just looking for a place to settle down and live, yeah, oh and I'm a fricken guy thank you very much, un." Deidara said almost yelling the last part at the younger shinobi.

The other smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, um, sorry, it's just, you look so much like a girl at first glance so I kinda just assumed-" Deidara cut him off.

"Don't assume it only makes an ass out of you and me, especially when my gender is the topic, hmm." He said rudely.

The kid laughed.

"Yeah I'll remember that, this isn't the first time I've assumed something about someone and I've been wrong, sorry, ahm anyway let's get down to business ok?"

"Alright, how long is this gonna take, hmm." Asked Deidara.

"It shouldn't take to long, I'll try to make it quick seeing as you look like you could use some serious sleep."

"Thanks now let's get this over with, yeah."

"Follow me Deidara-san." Said the ninja walking off towards a building a few meters away.


The inside wasn't very spectacular, it had three rooms in total one room, the first one Deidara walked into had a kitchen and lounge room in one it wasn't cramped but just the right size for a few people on guard duty to hang around in after their shift ended before they went off drinking.

The walls and floors of the place consisted of red, blue and green paint and tan carpet that looked like it was all put in yesterday, the second room had an infirmary and bed room all in one and was hard to navigate through with out tripping over at least once, unfortunately for Deidara it seemed as if he had two left feet today and tripped over almost everything in his path, this seemed to bring great amusement to the younger shinobi in front of him.

"Oi stop laughing brat, un." He yelled at the kid.

'Damn I sound like Danna.'

"Alright, I'm sorry, come on I still need to ask you some questions before I let you go." said the kid turning away from him and entering the room at the end of the building.

Deidara got back up and walked quickly over to the room careful to avoid tripping over the junk on the floor.


"Ok, so Deidara-san where did you come from?" asked the little shinobi grinning at him.

"Amegakure, yeah." He replied lying through his teeth, not that the kid knew that, honestly he was criminal as if he would tell the kid where he was from, get real.

"Why are you here in Uzushiogakure?"

"Because I wanted to find a place where I could relax and live out my the rest of my wonderful life in piece away from all the shinobi conflict, hmm."

"Will you be posing a threat in the near future to fellow villagers through old acquaintances or are you a criminal getting away from trial?"

"Damn you got me, un, I'm an A class criminal running from the world and thought that this little island could offer some shelter and protection without being found out, yeah." Deidara said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh haha, mister funny, now answer the question smart ass." The kid demanded obviously annoyed at him. Deidara raised an eye brow at him.

"Woah, calm down kid, I'm just trying to lighten the mood, don't get your panties in a twist." Said Deidara in a playful tone making the kid get even more annoyed at him, it seemed the guy didn't like people messing with him all that much. A few veins came to surface as Deidara teased him.

"Alright I'll answer your question, un, no need to bust a vein, yeah, no I have no past acquaintances that could put anyone in danger, I'm a civilian looking for a new place to live, un." He said, the ninja in front of him let out a breath of air releasing his pent up frustrations just a little.

"Ok now I need to know your birthdate, age and blood type." he said.

"Well, my birthdate is may 5th, I'm 19 and my blood type is AB, yeah, anything else, un?" Deidara asked tilting his head to the side like curious little puppy, eyes widened in fake innocence. The younger ninja blushed and hid his face behind his bangs as he looked down, Deidara smirked.

"No that's all, you may go, but if you need ever anything I'd be glad to help Deidara-san it was nice meeting you." He said still looking down at his lap whilst he tried to fight the blush that just refused to go away.

"Sure thing, it was nice meeting you to kid, yeah." Said Deidara as he walked out of the room.

"Tamiki." he said, Deidara stopped and turned.

"What, un." Deidara asked with confusion lacing his voice.

"Ahh, it's my n-name, T-Tamiki that is." he stuttered feeling his face grow even hotter and knowing his blush was now brighter.

"Ok then nice meeting you Tamiki-kun, un." Deidara turned and walked out of the room and didn't stop until he was out side the building, down the street and around the corner.

'Hmm now where would I find a hotel to stay for tonight, maybe, maybe, maybe.'

"Excuse me young man but are you lost?" Deidara jumped and turned around surprised to find that an old lady had snuck up on him from behind and gotten the right gender without looking at his face or him yelling at her.

"Yes I am very much lost, un, could you please point me towards the closest hotel or inn near here?" Deidara asked sweetly, the old lady smiled.

"Why of course boy, just go down that street and take a left on the third street branching off on the left side, then continue walking until you come to a place called The Poisoned Apple, it's a cliche name but it's a nice place, middle class really not to good that it draws attention but not to bad for all the crooks to get together there, but just be warned the owner doesn't tolerate rudeness of any sort so be sure to be polite." She said and gave him a smile before walking off down the street.


The old lady was right it was middle class, and pretty much unnoticeable, Deidara had walked past it five times before he actually took notice of it, it was the perfect place for him to go by unnoticed, the innkeeper was a bit rude but gladly accepted the money he gave for a room and showed him to it giving him his room key and telling him to call if he needed anything, with the undertone of 'if you need something don't bother to call come and get it yourself or ask instead of yell for him.'

The room was plain it had wooden walls and floors with a bed a wardrobe and a desk with a bathroom attached, he had paid for the best room in the place and it had been the only room with a the privacy of a non-public bathroom. Deidara opened the window to his room and flew his bird inside with all his stuff still on top of it.

Shrinking the bird he threw his bags to the other side of the room, placed his little bird on the desk and collapsed onto the bed falling into a deep sleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.


(ONE WEEK EARLIER POV AKATSUKI 5 HOURS AFTER DEIDARA LEAVES)

"MOTHER FUCKING SON OF BITCH, I'LL KILL THAT LITTLE PRICK." Yelled Kakuzu as he stormed out of his room and into the kitchen where everyone was currently sitting around the table eating dinner.

They all looked up at him curiously as he stormed into the room cussing worse than Hidan does in a month.

"Kakuzu shut the fuck up we're trying to fucking eat here asshole." Hidan yelled at him, Kakuzu fixed him with a glare that just screamed I'll kill you even if you are immortal.

"Shut up you stupid piece of shit nobody cares for your opinion." Kakuzu retorted, Hidan opened his mouth to respond when Sasori cut him off.

"Kakuzu what happened, you have never lost your temper like that before?" asked Sasori in a monotone, Hidan glared at him.

"Hey bitch don't-" Kakuzu cut him off this time making Hidan even more annoyed at being cut of and ignored.

"That little fucking brat of your's stole 5 million dollars from me, I swear to fucking god if I ever see that brat again I'll kill the little shit." Kakuzu said, Hidan burst out laughing along with Kisame, Pein and Itachi hid smiles, whilst Sasori openly grinned at him with Konan trying to hold back fits of laughter and was shaking with the effort.

"Fuck, only Deidara could pull off that shit and get away with it, not to fucking mention be five fucking hours away from us at the time, man Kakuzu I'm surprised you didn't see this coming and race off to your money the second the fucking meeting ended." Hidan dissolved into fits of laughter after speaking holding his sides and wiping tears that streamed down his face.

"Fuck you Hidan, make sure you're up early tomorrow, we're leaving early seeing as I now have to gain back an extra 5 million dollars." Kakuzu said as he turned and walked back to his room.

Hidan turned to everyone after he got his laughter under control.

"What's your fucking bets he's sitting in his room crying like the pussy he is?" Hidan asked, Kisame gave him a grin.

"It's a sure thing."

And as if to prove them right a muffled sob came from down the hall, Hidan just burst out laughing again.

A/N PLEASE REVIEW ;P