Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
AN: My writing skills are weak. If that disturbs you, please alt-F4 now. I am trying to write this story from Harry's point of view. I sometimes mess that up. I know I have having issues with present tense verse past tense. I seem to switch between them without me seeing it. Also, don't expect me to update a lot. I just got a huge contract with Raytheon.
Ch 3 Then the plan blew up
I don't know understand this filing system. Who files with adjectives like bad, crazy, blonde or Greek instead of what they did or even their name. I think the guy was hanging out with dementors too much. I also have to wonder what was making a nest in the one of the filing cabinets. I don't think it was a rat. Rats don't make little doors or little spears. So it wasn't rats. I had to wonder if borrowers were real. Did I miss them in Care of magical creature's class? I doubt Hagrid would have taught about them anyway.
"Harry!" I knew that voice. The mad wizard of Azkaban was on his way to torture me again. I wasn't wrong that all people with the name Filch are crazy idea. At first, I thought he was a nice quiet guard. Oh boy was I wrong. He just played guard because he was in London that day. I also noticed that he seems to get crazier the longer I am around him.
"I'm not doing it" I greeted. There is nothing like stopping him before he gets started.
"I haven't asked you to do anything yet." Did you notice the 'yet'? I did. I tried to do the Snape glare. I think I need to get greasy hair to pull it off. Warden Campbell walked in. He had that 'I know something you don't know' smirk on his face. Why did I feel like someone who was about to be threw into a wall very soon?
"He has good news." I think it was the Scottish accent that made even that sound like I wasn't going to enjoy this 'news'. I turned up my glare a couple wattage points as Finlay shoved a bunch of sorted files off the table. I worked hard on those piles of paper.
"Hey!" I stated to gather the papers. What the heck was that? I could see little eyes staring at me from a hole in the baseboard. Those were not rats.
"Take a look at these charts." Finlay made that sound like I was about to see a gorgeous naked woman. I didn't see anything good. Those papers were full of runes and odd esoteric drawings. I bet these two old fools are going to use these to bash my head into a wall.
"What am I looking at here?" I am sure I mentioned I didn't take runes. These weird little lines make no sense at all. I just bet there is math hidden somewhere in all that mess.
"These are rune schemes taken from various rune stones here on the island." Again with the knowledge they should know I don't have. I listened to him blather on and on about this rune and that scheme. I guess the look of confusion was enough. "How about I show you one?"
"That sounds like a good idea." Confusion seems to be the emotion of the day. I really wanted to be mad and glare at people. Why did the stupid mad wizard actually make me curious? When in doubt, I will just stare at the confusing writing. I do believe I am going insane, because they almost make sense. If nothing else, this saves me from bleeding to death by a thousand paper cuts.
We walked down in the basement. I didn't even know this building had a basement. Ok. That is just a big rock with a bunch of those annoying lines on it. What's the big deal? Did I say that out loud? Guess not.
"Ok. What's the big deal?" They must see something that I just don't see. How do people just casually conjure a table? I can do it. I just can't do with a wave of my wave like sir wacko just did.
"See here." Why did he want me to study? Don't they understand I am in prison for crimes against society? I should be lying in a cell being bored. There was a plan. Granted, they didn't know my master plan. Right now, I'm not sure I know the plan either. "And see here." So the lines on the paper match the lines on the rock.
"Yes. That group of lines looks just like that group of lines." Who needs to study runes if all you have to do is match up lines?
"This is from your tattoo on your chest." Just the way he said it meant that was really important. Have you ever had a bad idea that you thought was innocent? I just had one. I reached over and touched the lines on the rock. Did I mention all those paper cuts? Blood plus runes equals PAIN!
I would explain to you what just happened, but I don't think there are words to discuss it. I was everywhere on the island at once. I knew where everyone and everything was located. I even found those little rat beings. Dementors were all over the north side of the island. Campbell wasn't kidding about the maximum security prison being a scary place. The dementors had a huge nest directly under the prison. I just can't wait for these nightmares about that place.
There was something else. Information and knowledge flew into my mind. All those runes were a language. Math, chemistry, physics, charms, curses, and various other magic were at my fingertips. Everything just made sense. I truly understood everything about everything. Then it was gone. Ever had that odd thought run through your mind for no reason? Well as that knowledge and power was ripped from my mind, I just knew I was about to wake up in a hospital bed. Then I fainted.
There is only one place that smells like a hospital ward. If you guessed that I was in a hospital ward, you would be right. I know I should feel in pain, but I didn't. I guess I should wake up because I can hear voices.
"What did you do this time?" Bones asked me. I jumped out of bed. I felt great. My vision was perfect. That annoying tweak in my back was gone too. This was great.
"Whatever that was, everyone needs to try that." I yelled. Finlay and Colin were looking at me like I had grown a second head.
"Are you alright?" Warden asked me. Why wouldn't I be? I ran in place for a moment. I rolled my shoulders, flapped my arms, and counted my fingers.
"Oh No!" I yelled. I held up my left hand. They couldn't see my thumb. "My thumb!" I know I was being a brat, but this was fun to watch their faces. I laughed when my thumb popped out.
"Enough!" Bones roared. I don't think he thought that was very funny. "Back on the bed." I sighed as I just knew he was going to do more tests.
"Sir, Fudge is back. He wants to Potter right now." I heard a guard say. I grinned at Bones as I dashed for the door.
"Can't keep the big man waiting, now can I?" I yelled as I raced down the hall. I could hear the old bone saw yelling, but I wasn't stopping. Hey. I just did break out of the hospital ward in a prison. That should be on my first of firsts.
One advantage of being a trustee was getting to roam around the complex. I knew where most of the doors went to now. So I had no trouble going straight to the old baby-kisser.
"Minister. How are you this fine day?" I saw no reason not to be happy. I think this was cause I was feeling just so damn good right now. I even grabbed his hand and shook it.
"Mr. Potter. Really!" I wanted to laugh, but I was too busy shaking his hand. I saw he had his entire minion crew with him. Why does the toad wear pink? I guess my observation skills are improving because those were the same robes fudge sickle was wearing yesterday.
"Have you thought of wearing green?" I asked the toad. She didn't like that at all. Then again, I was implying she was a toad. I wonder when Fudge started to glow. Then again, the toadies were glowing slightly as well. I wonder if I hit my head again.
"Mr. Potter!" Fudge really shouldn't yell. I think that is bad for your blood pressure. I look him directly in the eye. Eyes really are the windows to the soul. I could see him mind working. You would think an adult wizard would have more going on inside their heads. It really was empty in here.
"Minister!" I yell back. This soul gaze think is really freaking him out. I can see his fear building. I really can't blame him. My magic was crawling over his skin like a bunch of hungry ants. I think my eyes are glowing too.
"Potter! Stop!" That would be the warden. He was going to ruin all of my fun. I stopped my little magic show. I had a plan. I must stick to the plan. Now all I had to do was remember what the plan had me doing next. I dropped into a chair, put my hands in my lap and tried to muster up the most innocent expression I could. My magic even helped by making a glowing ring over my head. I really should think about trying out for a play sometime.
After a few moments, the whole group settles down. "Mr. Potter. I am here to tell you that your demands are going to be met. Now undo everything you did."
The plan was coming together. What was the next step again? "Great!" When in doubt, stick to one word sentences.
"I have a boat waiting. We can get you back to London so you can start on the paperwork." I think the Minister didn't want to hang out here on the giant floating rock anymore.
"I will out process Lord Potter at once." Colin reported. I almost forgot he was there. Oh look, Weatherbee is here too. Is that a unicorn too? What happened to me again?
The next couple minutes were confusing to me. I know we left the meeting room. I remember walking. I remember Sir Colin talking to me about goats. The goats are important somehow.
"Just put your hand in the bowl." When did Finch get here? Something is right. He is going to get me hurt again, I just know it. Why was sticking my hand a bowl? I know this isn't good, but I do it anyway. Pain. Here comes the pain. Nope. It was just a bowl. Nothing happened.
"Why am I doing this again?" I don't think they know either because that look only means two things; someone smart is talking or whatever happened shouldn't have happened. I'm betting on the second cause Hermione isn't here and Finch is trying to catch flies with his mouth wide open like that.
"The magical ink should have exited your body." I yank my hand out as fast as possible. I was right. He was trying to hurt me again. Bones is here. When he show up? Then again, I still don't feel right.
"Your magic is still in flux from whatever happened earlier." Flux is not a good word to hear when talking about my magic. Unless they add capacitor, cause then it would be cool. I am back in that druid circle room again. This room has a couple bad memories. I wonder what would happen if…
You would think someone would have noticed that I wasn't quite right in my head, especially when I took a running leap at the big donut again. It seemed like a great idea at the moment. That ended when I crossed the pain line. If you don't know what a pain line could be. It is a line that when crossed causes a lot of pain. My magic reacted again. Good news, I didn't go flying toward a wall. Bad news, I got stuck. This was not the time to discover how much foreign magic I have in my body, which seems to be an incredible amount.
White ceiling tiles equals hospital. That is one constant in my life.
"I see you are awake again." Why do doctors like to tell you stuff you already know? I looked at him with my best glare. I guess by his big grin that didn't work.
"What happened?" Information would be good. I would love to know what I was thinking when I pulled that stunt. I am trying to use my inner snake not my outer lion.
"First off, you didn't get de-inked as planned. Then you decided to try another cleansing. If you remember what happened the first time, the second was even more spectacular. It was quite the light show." My head was pounding. Did Finch think of a way to put a marching band inside my head? Why was my forehead bandaged up?
"What's with the bandage?" More information please.
"Your scar ripped open. It appeared like black smoke poured out of it." That would explain the pain and drum solo.
"So the prodigal son is still alive." Finch would arrive for the big finale. How did he fit a bass drum in here? I turn my best evil glare at him. It must have been really scaring because he turned pale. Oops. My magic is all out of whack right now.
"I'm not in a good mood right now. So don't try me." I grumbled. I would like to believe it came out as innocent boy being grumpy. I take a quick glance around the room. I think it came out as badass super wizard might kill you any moment kind of way. I pull my magic back in. I jumped when I noticed my bed was floating a few inches off the floor.
"So am I good to go?"
"I would advise you check in with St Mungo's." The doc was an alright guy. He didn't try and keep me in prison. On second thought, he sucks. That was a lot of potions he was giving me to take with me. I drank a few of them. Not sure what was in them now that I am on the pier. How did I get here again?
"Are you listening to me, my boy?" Oh look. Fudge is here again. I wonder how long he waited for me. I guess we were talking about something. That was some potion.
"Let's be on our way." I ordered as I walked toward the boat. I hope I said my goodbyes already. I would go do that now, but throwing up on someone is not a good way to say I'll miss you. A wave of emotion washed over me as I stepped on the boat. I could feel someone didn't want me to leave. I bet I was feeling Finch. He was going to miss his latest pet project.
I watched my new friends as the boat pulled away from the docks. I planned to wave as they shrunk into the distance. They weren't shrinking. I looked down to make sure we were moving. The boat was moving, but the island was being left behind. The waves were washing up on the docks. My friends were running for higher ground. Azkaban was not letting me leave. It was like a puppy following after me.
The boat started to pull away from the island. Guess the giant rock doesn't have enough horse power to keep up. I was going to escape after all. Pressure started to build in my gut. It wasn't like that hooking feeling of a portkey. This was more subtle. I think I might have some serious gas soon. I might be throwing up after all. I leaned over the railing so I didn't have to mop up the deck when it hit me. I am not sure who was more surprised me or Fudge. I saw him scream as I was ripped off the back of the boat.
Remember those giant metal sharks? I do. I really remember now that I am in the water with them. I thought they looked big before. Now they are truly gigantic.
"Oh SHITE!" I screamed. Have I ever mentioned that I don't know how to swim? Gilly weed doesn't really teach you as morph you into something that swims. My magic came to the rescue. This is something straight out of a cartoon. I am running on the top of the water with a bunch of metal man eating sharks chasing me. Feet don't let me down now. I dodge as one of sharks jumps from the water to my left. I leap over another as it comes up from under me. This might actually work. I wonder how I am doing this.
"Oh no." My magic walking feet failed. Have you ever wondered what your last thought would be before you die? I have seen my life flash before my eyes before. It really is exciting. Right now, I am thinking the cartoons are right. Never question the physics. Wow, that shark has a lot of teeth. I almost tried to count them as it sucked me into its stomach. This is neat. The teeth aren't touching me. They are just forcing me down the throat. I wonder what this looks like from a different point of view like from the back of a boat as the only guy who can save your bacon.
I am not sure how much time passed, but it is really comfy in here. It is dry and warm.
The floor is even padded.
"Lord Potter." I was almost asleep too. I look around at the whole big house gang.
"That's me." When in doubt, plead insanity. I can get away with it after being eaten alive.
"Looks like you won't be leaving so soon after all." What is with old men and pointing out things you don't want to know? Dammit, I have a plan to follow!