i actually have carpal tunnel syndrome right now, so updates will be deathly slow, but i am already working on the next chapter. it's slow progress, but i'm making things happen... slowly but surely.

disclaimer- i don't own KH

been a long time since i wrote a fanfic for this...

ChApter 1

Our story begins with a young girl named Saskia Dranon. Dranon, of course, is not her real last name, but that name she abandoned many years ago. We are not quite to that point yet though, oh no. Instead, we begin with a rather young Saskia. One of a mere ten years of age.


A young girl with wide, curious blue eyes stood out against the bright horizon. Her brown hair stuck up all around her, similar to her six year old brother. He smiled goofily and tugged at Saskia's hand.

"Let's go this way!" he said, directing her toward the forest. She stumbled after the kid in silence, then a pleasant idea struck her mind.

"How 'bout a game of hide n' go seek?" Saskia asked her brother quickly. He smiled widely and bounced a bit on his toes in his clown-like shoes.

"Yeah! You're it, Sas!" he cheered and turned her back on the forest. He then went tumbling down the yellow and green hill to the forest. A tiny smile spread across her face then, like a good player, turned her back on her brother. She began counting slowly.

"1... 2... 3..." Saskia's toes itched a bit in impatience, "4.. 5.. 6. 7. 8910!" She smirked slightly; she was such a cheater, "Ready or not- here I come!" Saskia went dashing down the hill with the grace of a wild cat on the hunt. She entered the great forest, a bit surprised that it even blotted out the sun and sky with its expansive canopy. Saskia continued forward, fearlessly, but only because she was on the hunt. Her slightly rounded mountain lioness's ears perked up to the sounds of the forest. Chirping birds, and oh! The snap of a twig. Saskia whirled around, expecting to find her brother, but instead her eyes fell upon a rabbit running away into the underbrush.

Saskia pouted slightly, but continued on her adventure quickly. Her slick, tan tail flicking back and forth in slight annoyance. She couldn't find a spot of six year old sunshine in the forest. She could only journey furthur into the forest. It was the only way she could continue to look for her brother. She constantly glanced behind her, checking to make sure she didn't simply pass him by. Ears pricked again, she glared into the darkness of a cave. Not a sound came from it.

Saskia slowly approached it, wondering if her brother had hidden himself within the everlasting darkness that was the cave she was entering. Saskia continued with her slow approach, and her eyes adjusted quickly. She breathed in the slightly salt tinted air curiously. She didn't recognize such a scent even in the slightest. Her gaze fell upon a door. A great, wooden one that was simple in design, despite the golden borders and handle. Saskia's small hand curled around the door and pulled it open slowly. Sunshine leaked in from around it, and when she gazed out, her eyes were burned bitterly.

Saskia covered her eyes for a second, and then simply shielded them. It was a bit brighter than she'd expected there. The scent of salt was stronger out there too. Thus it dawned on her, her brother had run out to the door and entered it. Saskia eyed it nervously. It was a bit too sunny for her to be comfortable, but she entered anyway, leaving the door propped open with a rock. She entered the small cave slowly, eyes searching her surroundings carefully. Her brother wasn't there.

Saskia exited the cave, only to be greeted with an intensity she was unprepared for. It hurt her eyes more than the last time. Everything glowed out there. Saskia couldn't move forward or search for her brother out there. She quickly scampered back to the cave and returned to the reality she was used to. Her bare feet slammed against the forest floor as she ran home with tears streaming down her face.

"Momma! Papa! I cannot find _!" she cried pitifully. Saskia had expected her mother's warm embrace and her father's calming words, but that was far from what she received.

"You were supposed to look after him! He's your younger brother!" Saskia's mother cried, impossibly upset. Her father didn't even move for the longest time. He simply continued to read his newspaper.

"Go to your room," her mother said, pointing down the hall toward the room that Saskia shared with her brother. She slipped her fingers into the front pockets of her dress and chewed her lower lip. She had her fingers crossed that her brother would show up later when he realized that Saskia couldn't find him in that sunny place. She couldn't even tell her parents about it. They wouldn't believe her for a second.


"Where is he? Where is my son?" a woman screamed from the living room. Saskia could hear the tears in her voice, but Saskia could no longer feel sympathy. Saskia simply ignore the woman. She had heard enough of the mad woman's pleas for forgiveness. Saskia pulled her knees to her chest and stared into the empty darkness of her room.

Her father roared in annoyance. Saskia heard several items shatter on the floor. Doors slammed. Tires squealed, and for a short moment, a sliver of light slipped through her curtains. The door to her room swung open, and the aforementioned woman had Saskia by the hair, screaming and raving. Saskia clawed and snapped at this woman, trying to break skin and make her back off. There wasn't room for the two of them to coexist really. Saskia fought this notion though.

Saskia loved her mother and father. They blamed her for the loss of their son. Saskia believed them. It was her fault. It had been her idea to go wandering in the woods that day. Again her idea to play hide-and-go-seek. She was to blame. She was the malefactor that stole their son away. Saskia hated herself for it. She didn't fear her mother's tirades. Instead, she basked in the glory of them. She deserved this. Her parents' words followed her with every step she took. She carried the heavy burden of blame on her shoulders and her shoulders alone.

Home was suffocating. Uncomfortable. Saskia wanted to escape it. She wanted to be away from it all. She knew she couldn't cast off the chains of losing her beloved brother, but she could be away from the hate. She could remove the pain from her parents' lives. That was what she personified. The pang of loss, a pain to care for and tend to. Why should they even have to keep her around, she supposed. So Saskia came up with a plan. She would leave. Run away, if one wills.

Saskia dragged herself back to her room while her mother wasn't looking. The woman who wasn't her mother, merely residing in the empty shell of her real mother. Saskia gazed out at the beautiful sky. Poetic. Ironic. The sky didn't change according to the scene that was set in one's life. It decided to be however it wished to be when it wanted. So that night, it was clear, not a cloud to be seen. One could even connotate it to be the perfect kind of night. Saskia, however, hated its apathetic beauty. It seemed smug, distasteful. She loathed the serene appearance of it. She despised her own existence.


Saskia packed a single rucksack full of necessities in the still of the night. Once she felt fully prepared, she wedged open the window in her room that had some paint over it, making the window nearly impossible to open. Her mother was screaming like a banshee again, probably drunk again. The faint smell of cigarettes clung to the walls and every fabric in the house. Saskia was far from impressed. The house probably looked nice once, but with the shattered mirror in her bedroom, the everlasting smell, and broken furniture, it was far from presentable anymore.

Saskia bid the place good riddance, and disappeared into the night.

alright! hope you enjoyed, and i would love a review!