Fixing Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
Last time, one of the two Vanessas came out and revealed that she was from the 2nd Dimension, and she had come to the 1st Dimension to seek its Doofenshmirtz's help in freeing her Doofenshmirtz from prison. But first things first... the eradication of all witnesses, starting with this dimension's Vanessa!
Note: This is the second of two chapters being posted today, so if you're reading this the day it goes up (or reasonably soon after), make sure you click the back button on your browser and read the previous chapter first!
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney, natch!
Final Chapter - That's Your Boyfriend, Isn't It? (06.03.13)
"The two of you, well... you're expendable."
2D Vanessa aimed and was about to pull the trigger. But she stopped when a flash of light filled the room. It was followed a few seconds by a rumble of thunder, and then the start of a downpour outside, which was visible from the loft's open-air balcony.
"I was wondering when it was gonna start raining," Doofenshmirtz said aloud. "The last rumble was, what, 12 minutes or something ago. Like, we didn't hear any at all last chapter..."
"Quiet, you!" snapped 2D Vanessa, before turning her attention back to 1D Vanessa. "Where were we?"
She prepared to pull the trigger again, but on this second attempt, Heinz finally realized that his own girl's life was in danger. So he did what any self-respecting father would do to protect his only offspring.
He jumped in front of her to take the shot. In slow motion.
Seeing her Dad dive in front of her, Vanessa responded accordingly.
The dive had lasted so long that Doofenshmirtz had gone through his entire leaping trajectory and now he had landed on the floor. 2D Vanessa shook her head.
"Are you that daft?"
"Huh?" questioned Doof. "What's the deal? You... you were supposed to fire and hit me!"
Sure enough, 2D Vanessa had not fired. She was going to, but stopped her finger just short of the firing point when Doof tried to protect Vanessa. Not that it mattered... if 2D Vanessa had actually fired the shot, it would have hit 1D Vanessa anyway because Doof's leap fell well short, with no part of his body in the direct line of fire.
"I can't kill you!" explained the evil brunette. "Yet. You still need to build a new Other-Dimension-inator for me! Duh. Also..."
As she began to think of a multitude of other good reasons for keeping Doofenshmirtz alive for the time being, Agent P's communicator watch began to beep. He answered it and got an incoming transmission from Major Monogram.
"Agent P, this is urgent! We have reason to believe the fabric between dimensions has been opened once more, and agents working for the evil Doctor Doofenshmirtz from the 2nd Dimension have somehow managed to make it into this dimension! I know this probably doesn't make much sense since we wiped your memories of that day in order to protect your secret identity, but consider yourself de facto recovered of said memories."
"It doesn't work that way, sir," Carl interrupted.
"We don't have TIME to do it that way, Carl! Anyway, surveillance reveals the lead agent is in your vicinity, and at least three cohorts are advancing on your position to join her. We don't know what she has planned yet, but you must prevent her from meeting up with her companions! The fate of the Tri-State Area is in your hands! Good luck, Agent P!"
Monogram signed off, leaving Agent P to carry out the mission. And just in time, too, because his target had just stopped talking.
"Enough convenient stalling! The window of opportunity is closing!"
2D Vanessa took aim at her counterpart for the third time. And this time, she was going to pull the trigger, no matter what. But one person was determined to keep her from killing Vanessa.
Actually, one platypus.
Perry threw his fedora at 2D Vanessa's gun-wielding hand. It hit just as the firearm went off. An electrically-charged laser beam about a foot long started flying towards 1D Vanessa's head. But thanks to Agent P, instead of the beam striking its intended target right between the eyes, it flew just to the left of her ear, missing her by inches. The beam would end up hitting a flat-screen TV mounted to the far wall. The force in turn cracked and broken open the wall and sent a chunk of it, TV included, plummeting to the streets below.
"Come on!" grumbled Doof. "I just paid that off last week!"
"Bloody Hell!" cursed 2D Vanessa, throwing the firearm aside. "I only had enough charge in that for one shot! And why did I say 'Bloody Hell?' Am I suddenly from 2nd Dimension England or someth-"
She never finished her sentence, as 1D Vanessa had charged in and given her a boot to the stomach. 2D Vanessa stumbled backwards until she felt herself bump into the end of the kitchen countertop. She took a second to gather herself and then reached behind her to pick up a table knife which happened to have been left on it.
"DIE!" she shouted, flinging the sharp utensil end over end.
1D Vanessa dodged the knife, which ended up landing blade down in the carpet, just inches from her dad's hand.
"Watch it! You're gonna seriously hurt someone with that!"
"Dad! That's the poi-UGH!"
Now 1D Vanessa had been interrupted mid-speech, having being rammed in the chest by her counterpart's shoulder. She was knocked to the ground as a result, and immediately 2D Vanessa went in for the final blow.
"Word to the wise, other me... they're called high-heeled boots for a reason."
And she was going to prove her point by using the heel to impale her. 1D Vanessa averted her demise for the moment by moving her head just enough so all 2D Vanessa hit was hair. But as she lifted her heel to try a second time, Agent P interfered, using a flying kick to knock her away and give 1D Vanessa enough time to get up.
"What do you say we team-up to take the other me down?"
Perry nodded in agreement. And just like that, the platypus and the evil scientist's daughter were going at it with the evil scientist's daughter from the other dimension. Perry and 1D Vanessa traded in and out, with the former using flying kicks to try and get 2D Vanessa up high, while the latter used throwing techniques and low roundhouse kicks in tandem. When 2D Vanessa knocked one of them away, the other was right there to keep her occupied, not even allowing her time to catch her breath.
Through all the fighting, Doofenshmirtz had managed to get back on his feet. But he seemed content on staying out of the brawl.
"I think I'll just sit this one out, guys," he shouted over the grunting from the girls and the chirping from Agent P. "I knew I really should've taken part in that daddy-daughter self-defense class that one time! But, come on, did you see those girls? They all could've kicked my butt! It's like they fed them like horses... it was despicable, to tell you the truth..."
"DAD!" yelled 1D Vanessa, shortly after ducking a swinging punch.
"Okay, I'm helping!" he rapidly decided, heading to the lab. "Lead her over to me!"
Vanessa heard her father's instructions, and with Agent P's help, they guided their adversary to the lab. When they got there, waiting for them, smack dab in the middle, was a hastily painted white X. The two looked at each other, as if communicating through telepathy, and then, without so much as discussing the idea, 1D Vanessa picked up Agent P...
"Get 'im, Perry!"
...and threw him in the direction of the fast-charging 2D Vanessa, fists forward. But just as slick as their maneuver was, their opponent did them one better, as she leaned backwards and slid underneath the flying animal agent. Her face and his beak were just inches apart as they passed by each other. Without halting her momentum, 2D Vanessa pushed herself on her feet and resumed her charge at her target.
But 1D Vanessa was not scared or preparing for her end at all. Instead...
...she had a smirk on her face.
"It most certainly is."
A hole five feet in diameter opened up in the floor, and 2D Vanessa fell into it.
"Gotcha!" shouted Doof, standing at a control panel.
"For once," admitted Vanessa, in relief, "I'm glad you made a trap."
A glass lid closed up over the top of the hole, and then it began to rise upwards, showing that it was a cylindrical container with a nine-foot ceiling that 2D Vanessa had fallen into. She seemed both confused and enraged at being caught.
"Th-this doesn't make any sense!" she exclaimed. "You're standing on the X! I didn't come anywhere near it!"
Sure enough, Vanessa was standing on the X, but the trap had actually been planted in front of her.
"That's Dad for ya. If even I can't understand his methods, what chance do you have?"
Suddenly, a pink gas started filling the chamber. 2D Vanessa tried to cover her mouth, but eventually she succumbed to it, falling asleep. Once she was out, both Perry and Vanessa turned towards Doofenshmirtz.
"What? It's sleeping gas! Don't give me that look. Especially you, Perry the Platypus... that trap was supposed to be for you!"
Perry gave off a forgiving smile. He then turned towards Vanessa and gave her a thumbs up... which was basically his way of saying 'good job.'
She smiled back in return.
15 minutes later, 2nd Dimension Vanessa and her three cohorts were being led into the back of an O.W.C.A. van. As it pulled away from the front of D.E.I., Agent P could be seen talking to Monogram on his communicator once again.
"Good work, Agent P!" Monogram said, complimenting his best agent. "Luckily, the device they used to get here is pocket-sized, and is fully functional. We'll make sure the enemy agents are returned to their world. In the meantime, return to HQ for debriefing."
Agent P saluted his superior, and then he signed off. He was about to activate his jetpack to rocket off, but first...
"Don't worry about me, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz said, even though he was in the midst of hugging his daughter. "As you see, after today, I'm not in the mood. Can we just pick up here tomorrow? I promise to have a fully functional -inator for you!"
He smiled and nodded in agreement. With that, Agent P turned on his jetpack and flew off towards HQ. With him gone, Vanessa had some time alone with her dad.
"So, what was up with that other me?" questioned Vanessa.
"I don't know," Heinz replied, "but if I were her father, she'd be grounded. For a very long time."
Vanessa chuckled. "I'm sorry I wasn't around. If I was, maybe we would've stopped this before she had remembered why she was here."
"At least you weren't hit on the head with a girder! That must've smart."
"So... after all that, what do you say we spend what's left of our weekend together?"
Before her dad could respond, she heard her phone ring. She pulled it out to see who was it, but she already knew from the ringtone. And apparently so did he.
"That's your boyfriend, isn't it?"
Vanessa nodded. Her dad sighed.
"You promised already, didn't you? Well, alright!"
She gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"As thanks for today, I promise not to look! Just tell me when you're gone."
True to his word, Doofenshmirtz covered his eyes with his hands. A few seconds later, Monty pulled up in his buggy. Not too long after, Doof heard it pull away.
Then he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He lowered his hands and, to his surprise, Vanessa was standing there.
"Vanessa! I thought you were going out with your boyfriend!"
"I was. But I couldn't. Not after today. I'll make it up to him another day, but right now... I have to make it up to you. For this weekend."
"Oh, thank you, Vanessa!" He hugged his daughter again. "You're the best daughter an evil scientist could ever have!"
And thus ends another Vanessa Doofenshmirtz tale penned by yours truly. You guys got lucky... this was only supposed to be six chapters. Chapters 4 & 5 were originally planned as one and 7 & 8 were to be one, too. So that means you guys actually got two extra chapters. Pretty nice bonus, huh?
The end of this was fun to write, if only 'cause I had to make up stuff about 2nd Dimension Vanessa. She did appear in "Across the 2nd Dimension," but her scene was cut from the TV version and you can only see it if you bought the DVD. Those who have seen it know that 2D Vanessa couldn't date because her dad would banish any boy who showed interest in her. So, logically, since her dad is now imprisoned, she's not bound by that rule. But she's much earlier in her 'dating resume,' which is why I wrote it such that there is a Johnny in her dimension, but not a Monty. That she's met, anyway. (I realize that there is a 2nd Dimension episode planned to air at some point this season, so there's a good possibility all this will be rendered non-canon anyway.)
Speaking of Monty, I know some of you will be disappointed in the ending. But note that the romance part was the B-story here. Like I said at the start, this is my first time writing Montessa, so nothing groundbreaking in their relationship was planned. As for writing for it in a future story? Always a possibility, but when and if it happens depends on what happens in the show, of course.
With that, I'll end on my usual spiel. If you liked it, please leave a review and/or drop me a line on Twitter telling me what you thought. I'd greatly appreciate it! In terms of 'Phineas and Ferb' fanfics, the fourth season of 'Fireside Diaries' premieres next week. If Fireside Girls aren't your thing, keep checking back, because you never know when another P&F story might come down the pike, with or without Vanessa!
Thanks for reading, and hope to see you reading next time!
- Freedom Fighter