Well, that took a while. I had writer's block for a while, and college has been keeping me super busy. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long. This one isn't quite full length, but it serves as a transition into LE ACTUAL PLOT, so it's worth it. Many thanks to my brat for keeping me writing; I love you, dear.

Now then...Chapter! With brief KakuHida break for those of you that wanted that.

Chapter Five

"The goal towards which the pleasure principle impels us - of becoming happy - is not attainable: yet we may not - nay, cannot - give up the efforts to come nearer to realization of it by some means or other." — Sigmund Freud

"Oi, Kakuzu. I've got to piss."

Kakuzu shot the teenager a glare, and refocused his eyes on the road.

"You'd better hold it, then, because I'm not stopping."

Hidan's face twisted into a comically angry look, his silvery eyebrows scrunched together in frustration. He still had a gauze dressing wrapped around his midsection, but the black and white paint was gone —the older man had washed it off himself.

"I've got to fucking piss!"

Moments passed in silence, Hidan anxiously twitching his legs as he awaited a response. Realizing he wouldn't get one, he bashed his hand against the door, angrily unzipping his jeans.

"Fuck it! I'm peeing out the window!"

"If you keep this up, you're going to be sick." Sasori stated, his voice clear of any inflection or interest. His plate had long since been taken, and he absentmindedly nibbled at the "donut" he had taken from Deidara's sixth plate of food. The blonde was now on his seventh, and the "donut" seemed much more like sugared bread.

It had been a mistake to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Deidara's eyes showed the discomfort he was fighting to hide from the older man, a slight grimace slipping through as he crammed another piece of teriyaki chicken in his mouth. Sasori merely sighed.

"After that plate, I'm taking you home." he muttered, not bothering to look up. Deidara's eyes widened past their sockets.

"What? You said after lunch!"

"You passed the point of 'lunch' three plates ago."

Locking the doctor in an steely glare, the teen went to stab his food angrily, ultimately missing and producing an ear-splitting sound as the tines scraped over the plate. The restaurant fell silent, all eyes suddenly on the blonde.

Sasori shrunk in his chair.

"Great job, brat." he said, standing. He rounded the table, grabbing the teenager by the back of his shirt. "We're leaving."

~ x ~

Deidara sat silently on the edge of the indoor fish pond while Sasori paid, trying to focus his mind on the paths of the [rather excessively] fat goldfish and not on the glares that his danna occasionally shot in his direction.

He almost felt bad. Almost. He still felt justified in his binge eating.

"I'll take you back after lunch," he had said. He'd never said that lunch couldn't last until closing.

He'd evidently implied it, though.

The teen slid down onto the floor, his arms now resting where he had previously sat. His eyes narrowed on a particularly pudgy fish, watching it disdainfully.

"Bet you never have to go home..." he grumbled.

"This is its home, brat."

A hand tugged at Deidara's collar before he could turn his head, not that it was any mystery who the hand belonged to. It was more of a reflex.

"Couldn't you just tap my shoulder or something, hm?" the teen muttered, getting to his feet. His finger fumbled with his shirt collar, and Sasori turned towards the exit.

"That wouldn't be much fun, would it?"

A small chuckle followed the words.

"Come along, Deidara."

The two men left the restaurant, making their way back to the car. Deidara was still irked by the fact that they had to go, but the redhead seemed to be in a good (here meaning decent) mood, so he held it back as they got in and fastened their seatbelts. Once they were on the road, Sasori questioned his silence.

"So," he started, his tone somehow seeming to turn his head though his eyes never left the road. "Why are you so against going back?" Deidara's eyes slid into a focus on the asphalt rapidly passing by the passenger side, mouth turning slightly downward in a lazy frown.

"Do I need a reason?"

"I'd like one."

"I can't just enjoy your company, hm?"

"You've enjoyed my company for years now, Deidara. It never kept you from going home before."

Breaking the gaze he hadn't realized that he'd established with the doctor, Deidara snapped his head back toward the window, crossing his arms huffily. It was his usual reaction to being faced with a sort of 'checkmate' in their quarrels, but he usually looked for a way out first.

He'd given up rather quickly.


"It's Tobi, un..." the teen sighed out, slumping in his seat. His eyes seemed troubled as they stared aimlessly out the window. Sasori turned onto a side road.

"What about him?" he asked, glancing over at the blonde. The teenager ignored him, sitting up and looking around.

"Uh, Danna, you took the wrong road, yeah—" he said, getting up to press his face against the windshield. Taking a hand off the wheel, Sasori pushed him back into his seat.

"I know where I'm going. Now what's wrong with Tobi? Aside from him being a halfwit."

Deidara almost chuckled. Instead, he produced an odd sound that more closely resembled a hyena's laugh, if said hyena was laughing a split second before a bomb exploded in its belly, blowing its bodily fluids and organs all over the African savannah. It led to a brief smile on his face before he sighed in dejection. After several minutes, he looked up at the doctor.

"I think he knows you."



[Internet Friends — Knife Party]

[Bonfire — Knife Party]

[Rage Valley — Knife Party]

[Quicksilver — The Crüxshadows]

Review or Hidan pees on you.