It took Remus a few hours to realize that no, Sirius hadn't been the traitor. Though the fact he was more than happy to show the man the memories didn't hurt either.
The only reason Sirius had one was because he used it as a teaching aid. He had found out that not only did Harry have magic (like there was any doubt) but so did Naruto and Sasuke. Itachi had a little bit, but he was too old for his magical core to stretch properly.
So every week Sirius would teach them magic. Itachi was sporadic, being the only official ninja in the family. But he was still making a lot of progress.
It didn't hurt Sirius had raided the bookstore for most of the standard books and gotten all of his old ones from his vault.
After graduating Sirius had chucked all his old school things and his trunk into his vault so he could properly celebrate graduating. He never thought he would have to drag the damn thing out just to teach a bunch of kids magic.
Ironically enough, kunai made to channel chakra worked just as well as a wand, so Sirius had gotten all the boys a set of chakra-conducting kunai and taught them the basics. Itachi had been surprised he had gotten his hands on the special kunai, but that had disappeared when Sirius mentioned that the Hokage had helped him by giving him a special license to buy actual ninja gear.
"Alright boys, time for bed. That includes you Itachi, don't think I didn't notice you wince earlier," said Sirius.
"Damn," muttered Itachi.
"No missions until that heals up enough that you can move without wincing," said Sirius flatly.
Itachi grumbled under his breath. He had tried to take a relatively easy escort mission once when his arm was sprained, but Sirius had hit him with a Full-Body bind without hesitating and made him stayed in Konoha until he was able to move the arm without wincing. The Hokage had laughed his ass off that day, and the medics had begged for the technique.
The end result? Sirius had a job at the hospital insuring ninja didn't move around too much when they were injured badly. The medics had been very happy to learn that magic did not interfere with their healing techniques or medicines.
He wasn't allowed to give out prescriptions but he was cleared for most basic medicine like changing bandages and handing out pills. Plus he livened up the stay of most shinobi by bringing books on request and some minor magic shows.
"I want to hear more stories of how you got beaten up by Yuri-san!" complained Naruto. Harry nodded in agreement.
"Tomorrow," said Sirius.
The boys pouted, but went to bed. Itachi reluctantly followed when Sirius threatened to hex his hair red.
Remus turned to Sirius.
"Since when are you so responsible?"
"Since I learned I had to take care of not one, but four boys, one of which acts too mature for his age. Go ahead and ask Moony."
"Why did you take Harry away from England?"
"Moony, what do you remember of Petunia Dursley? Lily's older sister?"
"I remember she was a complete bitch and that Lily said she would never trust her son with her sister," said Remus flatly. He had met the woman once, and they had disliked each other on sight.
Petunia because of Remus' ragged clothes, magic and the fact that he didn't have a job. Remus hated her because she was a reverse pure blood who thought Lily was a freak and thought he was beneath her because he had trouble holding a job.
He was very, very glad to get out of that house. It reeked of industrial strength cleaner and bleach.
"Dumbledore had the gall to drop Harry off at her house without so much as a word, and he had been forced to cook and clean once he was old enough to reach the stove. You should have seen the look in his eyes when he found I was there to take him away from that house. He had trouble handling a gentle hand on his shoulder for the spirit's sake!"
"He WHAT?! Petunia hated Lily for having magic!"
"I couldn't let him stay there once I heard from the goblins where he had been left. If he had been left with anyone else, even the Weasleys, I would have been fine with that. But Petunia isn't fit to raise a flobberworm, let alone a child. You should have seen her own son...he was as big as a younger version of Hagrid, and I know Petunia would never consider marrying a Giant!"
"Why did you come here Moony?"
"Dumbledore figured I would be the best to find you, even if it took a while to locate where I was. I wasn't aware Harry was with you until he told me."
"I figured he would do better as a shinobi trained wizard than as a mindless pawn of Dumbledore. Though I do wonder why I have yet to see a single owl deliver a letter..."
"Dumbledore wondered that too. When Harry turned eleven not a single owl returned from trying to deliver the letters... eventually he gave up because the owlry was nearly empty of owls."
"I wonder... Tomorrow when I drop the boys off at school why don't we go see the old man and ask what happened?"
"Old Man Hokage. He doesn't seem to care if I call him out on his age."
"Owls? Oh, you mean those owls. Why do you want to know about those odd birds we captured three years ago?" said Sarutobi in surprise.
He had forgotten about them, being swamped by paperwork at the time.
Sirius and Remus face planted.
"You still have them?"
"We released them a few months later, but occasionally they come back. Most get eaten by the giant snakes in Area 44 though," said Sarutobi casually.
"Any show up recently?"
"One showed up last weak, nearly dead."
Sirius and Remus took one look at the owl, and Sirius face palmed.
It was a Hogwarts owl, complete with letter to Harry. Sirius prodded it with his wand, and it turned black.
"Port Key. Oh my Spirits, this is..." said Sirius as he started cracking up.
"You mean to tell me the owls never made it because they were eaten?" said Remus incredulous.
"They must have assumed this was the Owlry by mistake!" said Sirius.
It explained a hell of a lot, like why he hadn't seen any the entire time he was here. School owls were spelled to go to the nearest Owl post, or equivalent to avoid detection by muggles. So naturally the area where all the messenger hawks would draw them. And since Harry was still an Academy student, there wasn't any reason to bring the fact that a ton of what appeared to be school letters to the Hokage's attention, since the people in charge of the hawks would assume it was some elaborate prank.
And with all the chakra in the air, it was only natural that the owls would get confused and eventually eaten by all the massive predators in the area.
Or captured by shinobi, since Sirius had heard from Itachi off-hand that Kumo had an Owl summons contract, and shinobi would probably mistake the smarter than normal owls as summons without knowing better.
The chunin gave the Uchiha clan head an odd look.
"Is he alright?" he said nervously.
"He'll be fine. Now that he knows what really happened he'll get over it in a few minutes...or I'll send a stinging hex his direction," said Remus.
The Hokage looked at Sirius with concern.
"What happened to him?"
"Silencing charm combined with overpowered stinging hex. He wouldn't shut up," said Remus flatly. Sirius gave him a betrayed look.
"What would set him off like that?"
"Remember about the owls? Turns out that the birds mistook your Messenger Hawk area as an Owlry which was why the letters Sirius had been expecting since Harry turned eleven never showed up."
"Owlry?" said Sarutobi confused. Remus removed the silence charm off Sirius.
"Harry is like me...so are the other boys. I had been teaching them magic for a while using those kunai you cleared me for, and I expected them to get letters from home or at least Japan for real magic schooling. I was surprised when they never came, and I had always wondered what happened," said Sirius.
"Naruto has magic?"
"All four of them do. Even Itachi, though his isn't nearly as strong since he started out so late. From what I can tell magic and chakra are nearly identical with a few key differences. Naruto and Harry had about the same amount, while Sasuke has a little less. If I had known the owls had gone to the wrong place, I wouldn't have worried so much."
"So that mass of owls was..."
"A complete mistake. Pretty damn funny though," said Sirius with a chuckle.
"Which reminds me, the boys should be about ready to try their luck at the exam. I know for a fact Harry has already passed, but then again his last name is Black..."
Sirius slapped his forehead in disbelief. He forgot to go watch them.
"I'm going to go check on them. In the meantime, Remus wait at the Academy gates okay? Itachi is out training so he should meet you there once school lets out."
"Okay, where is the Apocalypse? You are never enthusiastic about watching classes!"
"Ninja classes don't bore me to tears...except history but at least Iruka doesn't drone on and on..." said Sirius.
"Uzumaki-Black, Pass!" said Iruka with no little sense of relief. Sirius chuckled from outside the testing area. Naruto bounded in with a grin and his new headband.
"About time Ramen-breath," said Sasuke.
"Can it Tomato-brains!" Naruto shot back with a grin.
"Both of you shut it," said Harry with a smirk.
Sirius was with Remus and Itachi when the boys came out.
"Passed, did you? Good! Now you can help earn your keep!" said Sirius mockingly.
"Bite us, old man!" barked the trio in unison.
"I'll show you old you little..." said Sirius with a grin.
"Ramen for everyone!" said Itachi, cutting them off.
"RAMEN!" cried Harry and Naruto.
Harry had a love of ramen since he taste Ichiraku's specially made bowls. He was particularly fond of chicken.
Later, when Naruto went to use the restroom (before devouring even more delicious ramen) he ran into Mizuki who had a rather...odd...proposition for him.
Sirius found Naruto in five minutes, while he read the Sacred Scroll. Once he found out what was really going on, he helped Naruto copy off the scroll to train with later.
He could just tell Naruto had the ability to use some of it, and it wasn't like he would have a chance to look at it until he reached Itachi's rank.
Well, that and Naruto had enough control to summon foxes, so what were a few kinjutsu?
(That contract had appeared out of nowhere next to him, and once signed Itachi showed him the hand signs. Naturally they were all surprised to learn that the boss of the summon set had sent it solely to one up Jiraiya of the Sannin. Something about an ongoing bet with the Toad Boss...)
Sirius stayed in his human form, and hid when Iruka appeared. He barely resisted the urge to growl when he realized it was that damn Mizuki who set this mess up.
An hour and one shocking revelation about a certain furry tenant later...
"Well runt, you sure stirred up an Aburame hive with this...then again, considering this bastard tricked you, you should be fine," said Sirius, kicking Mizuki in the chones for good measure.
The man whimpered, but that was nothing compared to the pain Naruto had brought on him for attempting to kill his favorite teacher Iruka.
Iruka however was watching Sirius warily.
"Why aren't you freaking out like Naruto did about the Fox?"
"Because I always suspected something was weird about how the Fourth 'killed' the Nine-Tailed Fox. Aside from some minute energy left over, there wasn't a single sign of something that big, and there should have been. And it explains a hell of a lot as to why Naruto was treated so badly before I took him in," said Sirius flatly.
As far as he could tell, Naruto had something equivalent to a very old, very pissed off dragon inside his stomach. Something he would undoubtedly learn to control and harness.
Which meant Sirius had to instill a sense of danger in the hyper-active brat, who would likely piss off said Fox enough that he would make things difficult just to be difficult.
Sirius groaned...this would be a long couple of months...especially when Naruto couldn't sit still to save his life!
"So...now you know," said Sarutobi.
"Know, and could care less. Naruto is Naruto. And my warning still stands old geezer, first one to bring up the word demon and Naruto in the same sentence around me gets turned into a frog and thrown into the woman's bath," said Sirius flatly.
And that was as close to a death threat as Sirius got, because the women hated frogs and if one were thrown into their baths they would get homicidal in a hurry. Sirius still didn't know why they hated the amphibians so much.
"It's considered a crime to mention it, unless you're me or Naruto. I had intended it so Naruto could have friends, but it backfired spectacularly."
"If you can't talk about it directly, then people will obviously make up numerous euphemisms just to talk about it without getting busted," said Sirius, knowing how that worked.
Sarutobi coughed, getting the idea.
"Quite. I suppose you have other questions?"
"Just one that's been bugging me for years. Why do the women hate frogs and kill them so fast if chucked into their bathhouse?"
Sarutobi covered his eyes.
"That would be because Jiraiya has a bad habit of sitting on his summon toads to peek at them for his books. Unfortunately he also gets caught frequently, so the women had developed a severe hate of the creatures as a result..."
"Jiraiya, as in Mr. I-need-to-learn-how-to-spell-and-in-serious-need-o f-someone-with-proper-grammar? That Jiraiya?" said Sirius amused beyond reason.
"You've read his books," said Sarutobi.
"The porn is half-assed and despite my hatred of all things paper, I couldn't read more than a chapter before I set it on fire. Kakashi was horrified, because that had been one of his copies. I've never seen Itachi laugh so hard in my life."
"...Itachi can laugh?"
"I've got the memory and equipment to prove it," said Sirius.
"This I have to see. That boy is far too serious," said Sarutobi.
"He's not Sirius, I am!"
"...And that is a horrible pun."
"Get your kicks when you can, old man," said Sirius unrepentant.