erase and rewind

Character: Fu, mentions of Lan Fan

Summary: It's not that easy.

The coin is heavy in his pocket as he sits on roof, staring at the dying sun in the distance. It is the first time in a long time that he allows himself to relax like this. There is a small crowd in the yard, surrounding his youngest and most precious granddaughter who is trying to teach a younger clan member some moves with the kunai.

High up in the air, he allows himself to smile. The girl would go a far way because she had the drive and the ambition to give her very best. Plus, she is smart – perhaps even smarter than him. He has no reason to worry about her – he had grown grey over her insolent older sister and her cousin had provoked him more than anyone else – and this is why he worries the most.

He does not want to feel worried but he feels like he is making the same mistake again. He had lost her sister because he had been too strict and she had been too stubborn. They had clashed in one final fight, she had won and disappeared without a trace – and he had looked for her.

He had lost his grandson because he had been too soft with him. The boy could have taken a tougher approach but Fu had been too scared of what might happen, too scared of losing another grandchild the way he had lost his first granddaughter.

And now, the youngest girl.

He sighs. No matter what, he will not lose her as well. He will keep her. She will be happy. She will make him proud. She will be the one to keep the reputation of the family intact – no matter what her sister might be planning wherever she was and no matter what her cousin might be unable to do because – too soft, he was too soft.

Erase and rewind. Again and again.